Venting Thread

[Leigh]

I was helping out a mom with child care issues. I've always felt she was a little shady, because of all the "problems" she has with her providers, but didn't mind helping her out when she was in a bind if I had the space -- but always with an end date.

I had the kids scheduled Monday and Tuesday. We had a gmail calendar she accesses as a reminder.

So I'm expecting her 9:30 on Monday, and she doesn't show. At 10:00, I FB message her, as that is how we usually communicate. No answer.

Later in the day, I can see she's been active on messenger and she's posting on FB, but she's leaving my message unanswered.

I wasn't even going to go any further, but Tuesday afternoon, I decided to message that I had assumed something came up on Monday, but was surprised not to hear from her on Tuesday. Told her it seemed she must have made other arrangements for the kids, and I hope everything works out -- mostly just to wrap up our relationship nicely.

Today I get a message that she's been working at night -- which is true, so she's been sleeping instead of going to class, but she's going to try to change her school schedule.

I message back that I hope they let her change her schedule.

What I don't message is that I feel like the least she can do is apologize for not showing or not responding -- you know, common decency, especially for someone that has helped you out when you were in a bind more than once.

Especially since your oldest kid is exhausting, probably because -- Surprise! She has no consistency.

Oh, and I listen when you talk, so I figured out who your other provider is, and according to the pictures she posted on FB, you slept through class, but magically transported your kids to her house on Monday and Tuesday.

Never call or message me again for any purpose -- but especially for child care.

You. Are. The. Worst.

I've had more than one drop in that I have prepared for who never showed. Sometimes, they're at least kind enough to message me to let me know that they found a free sitter. I had one that scheduled with me twice, and was no call, no show (she was always posting on Facebook childcare pages that she NEEDED a reliable childcare). The third time she contacted me, I told her that I DO have space, but am not willing to schedule her because of her history of not showing up. She went off on me, swearing that she had NEVER scheduled with me before, she was offended, blah blah. I messaged her back a copy of our previous conversations and never heard from her again.

I would DEFINITELY let the mom who didn't show Monday/Tuesday that she can call whomever she took her kids to when they were scheduled with you. It's not about jealousy or competitiveness-it's about common courtesy and respect.

[MKdaycare]

I've had more than one drop in that I have prepared for who never showed. Sometimes, they're at least kind enough to message me to let me know that they found a free sitter. I had one that scheduled with me twice, and was no call, no show (she was always posting on Facebook childcare pages that she NEEDED a reliable childcare). The third time she contacted me, I told her that I DO have space, but am not willing to schedule her because of her history of not showing up. She went off on me, swearing that she had NEVER scheduled with me before, she was offended, blah blah. I messaged her back a copy of our previous conversations and never heard from her again.

I would DEFINITELY let the mom who didn't show Monday/Tuesday that she can call whomever she took her kids to when they were scheduled with you. It's not about jealousy or competitiveness-it's about common courtesy and respect.

Yeah, Leigh. This mom is the same. Truth is, I'm not willing to engage her anymore. I imagine "offending" her would only give me more problems. It's clear this woman doesn't respect me. I just won't have any more space -- or maybe I won't get her message for two days, and it will be too late. LOL

I won't do it, because it's asking for trouble, but I wish I could alert the other provider to save her the trouble. I know her name because of the laundry list of issues that the mom says she had with her, but I imagine she'll find that out in good time.

[Blackcat31]

I won't do it, because it's asking for trouble, but I wish I could alert the other provider to save her the trouble. I know her name because of the laundry list of issues that the mom says she had with her, but I imagine she'll find that out in good time.

What is "trouble" for one is not the same for another.

If another provider called me to "save me the trouble", I would view that provider in the same negative light I view parents that talk badly of their previous providers.

Everyone's journey is different and some lessons are best left to be learned on their own.

I'm sorry you had a bad experience with this client/family.

[Leigh]

What is "trouble" for one is not the same for another.

If another provider called me to "save me the trouble", I would view that provider in the same negative light I view parents that talk badly of their previous providers.

Everyone's journey is different and some lessons are best left to be learned on their own.

I'm sorry you had a bad experience with this client/family.

Agreed. I'll share with providers who are my friends about a daycare family that's a nightmare for me or for another friend, but I wouldn't reach out to a provider that I didn't know and trust. I know some BAD things about some providers in my town, too. I WANT to tell parents to avoid them, I've even heard bad things from CPS about them, but I don't want to look bad. All I can do is to not recommend them to people when I offer a list of providers for someone to call. Plus, if the state's aware of what's going on in those homes (and they are) and they can't do anything about it, neither can I.

[MKdaycare]

What is "trouble" for one is not the same for another.

If another provider called me to "save me the trouble", I would view that provider in the same negative light I view parents that talk badly of their previous providers.

Everyone's journey is different and some lessons are best left to be learned on their own.

I'm sorry you had a bad experience with this client/family.

Thank you, and I totally agree with you. That's exactly why I said I won't do it. I'm certain, based on this client's history, that it's only a matter of time before the new provider figures it out on her own.

[lovemydaycare0912]

We were in the er last night for chest pains that eventually went away but now Im tired and all I wanna do is sleep all day!!! 6pm where are you?

[lovemydaycare0912]

Thank you, and I totally agree with you. That's exactly why I said I won't do it. I'm certain, based on this client's history, that it's only a matter of time before the new provider figures it out on her own.

Sorry you went through this. A lot of times, we try to help others out, and end up getting burned. Better luck next time.

[Febby]

I didn't feel great when I woke up, but not awful. Well, the longer I'm up and working, the worse I feel. And, of course, it looks like every single one of my 22 kids will be showing up today. Plus it's raining so we're stuck inside.

[LysesKids]

I was helping out a mom with child care issues. I've always felt she was a little shady, because of all the "problems" she has with her providers, but didn't mind helping her out when she was in a bind if I had the space -- but always with an end date.

I had the kids scheduled Monday and Tuesday. We had a gmail calendar she accesses as a reminder.

So I'm expecting her 9:30 on Monday, and she doesn't show. At 10:00, I FB message her, as that is how we usually communicate. No answer.

Later in the day, I can see she's been active on messenger and she's posting on FB, but she's leaving my message unanswered.

I wasn't even going to go any further, but Tuesday afternoon, I decided to message that I had assumed something came up on Monday, but was surprised not to hear from her on Tuesday. Told her it seemed she must have made other arrangements for the kids, and I hope everything works out -- mostly just to wrap up our relationship nicely.

Today I get a message that she's been working at night -- which is true, so she's been sleeping instead of going to class, but she's going to try to change her school schedule.

I message back that I hope they let her change her schedule.

What I don't message is that I feel like the least she can do is apologize for not showing or not responding -- you know, common decency, especially for someone that has helped you out when you were in a bind more than once.

Especially since your oldest kid is exhausting, probably because -- Surprise! She has no consistency.

Oh, and I listen when you talk, so I figured out who your other provider is, and according to the pictures she posted on FB, you slept through class, but magically transported your kids to her house on Monday and Tuesday.

Never call or message me again for any purpose -- but especially for child care.

You. Are. The. Worst.

This is what I would consider Drop-in care & if she had done this to me, she would have been told sorry, but you must now prepay 24 hrs in advance for any days you require... no pay, no reservation and I will not be planning on your child attending.

It's plain as day in the Drop-in policies I hand out when someone signs the contract (it's written slightly different than my regular contract). I start the prepay after the first no show/no call... I use to give parents more leeway, like 2 or 3 call offs before saying no more, but I got wise over the last few years . The fact she just flat out avoided you & you knew... yeah, sorry, I don't have a spot available. If I hadn't found out, then it would still be prepay for the hours needed

[pandamom]

Caregiver in my sister room is on vacation. Because of not having enough people with a background check, I've been pulled from my room to work in the other room. The other person working with me is brand new. And it's been storming all week so we've been stuck inside trying to keep fourteen 2 year olds entertained with limited gross motor activity. Can't wait for this week to be over.

[MKdaycare]

This is what I would consider Drop-in care & if she had done this to me, she would have been told sorry, but you must now prepay 24 hrs in advance for any days you require... no pay, no reservation and I will not be planning on your child attending.

It's plain as day in the Drop-in policies I hand out when someone signs the contract (it's written slightly different than my regular contract). I start the prepay after the first no show/no call... I use to give parents more leeway, like 2 or 3 call offs before saying no more, but I got wise over the last few years . The fact she just flat out avoided you & you knew... yeah, sorry, I don't have a spot available. If I hadn't found out, then it would still be prepay for the hours needed

I totally agree with you! I haven't run into a lot of providers that do drop-in care on this forum. I'm glad to hear you'd do things the same way. I figured she'd apologize on Monday, and then I'd ask for prepayment in the future -- knowing she's never do it -- but since she avoided and lied, I decided I'd never deal with her again. Would you mind at all sharing your drop-in contract with me? I'd love to see it.

[lovemydaycare0912]

Sent home 2 kids sick yesterday and my husband haa been sick since yesterday. I was able to get his fever down from 103.5 to 99.0 by waking up every 4 hours to give him medicine. Hopefully the kids who do come today aren't sick. Happy Friday

[Blackcat31]

Sent home 2 kids sick yesterday and my husband haa been sick since yesterday. I was able to get his fever down from 103.5 to 99.0 by waking up every 4 hours to give him medicine. Hopefully the kids who do come today aren't sick. Happy Friday

Ugh! Doesn't sound like a fun way to start the weekend...

I hope everyone feels better soon and that you don't end up with it too!

[lovemykidstoo]

Mom that has touble getting her 2 kids to eat bought a whole box of Tim HOrton Timbits when she picked up yesterday. The boys had eaten 3/4 of hte box before they left the driveway. I said, what's for dinner? She said donuts hahaha.

Other dcm is picking up dcg early today to go 1 1/2 hr to see her sister. She's driving by herself with the 5 month old. Said she's going to have to stop halfway through and go to her other sisters house to calm the baby down because she's not used being in the backseat alone. This is the baby you can't put down for a second or she cries. Have a great trip!

[Leigh]

Mom that has touble getting her 2 kids to eat bought a whole box of Tim HOrton Timbits when she picked up yesterday. The boys had eaten 3/4 of hte box before they left the driveway. I said, what's for dinner? She said donuts hahaha.

Other dcm is picking up dcg early today to go 1 1/2 hr to see her sister. She's driving by herself with the 5 month old. Said she's going to have to stop halfway through and go to her other sisters house to calm the baby down because she's not used being in the backseat alone. This is the baby you can't put down for a second or she cries. Have a great trip!

My sister wouldn't travel alone with her son even when he was 8 because she wasn't able to entertain him from the front seat. If she didn't have someone to go with her (and sit in the backseat with him), she wouldn't go. She said it was just too hard. She couldn't believe it when she found out that I took my son and 3 foster kids (infant, toddler, 2 preschoolers) to the grocery store by myself-HOW did I do it!?! She STILL has a hard time parenting alone-if her husband or our mother aren't there to enable her, she just stays home. I don't understand these people!