Feel Bad About Dumping New Daycare--Advice, Please!

[momofboys]

I told them and I felt really sad...they really are nice people and super trustworthy. And they were understanding, though the mom did try to talk through it with me and almost convince me not to leave. They even said that I could bring her in for those last two week I paid for! This is hard! I want to do that but I also don't!

Thanks again!

If the contract states giving a month's notice I would make sure I pay for a whole month whether your daughter attends or not. They may seem "fine" with it but my guess is they are a bit perturbed that you are not following through on a signed contract. Why would it be okay to not follow through on something you signed?

[momofboys]

i personally think it's fine. i doubt they'll be bothered when you say, "i'm taking her out immediately, and i know you'll keep the deposit with such short notice, but i just can't keep her here for another month."

i know how you feel. i always feel bad when i quit ANYHING. i did this at an apartment one time. i was young and spontaneous (and poor) so i cleaned the apartment spic and span, went to my landlord's office and told him i was leaving. he had already been paid for the full month and i told him i didn't expect any of my deposit back (which i would've gotten) since i didn't give him a full month's notice that would cover the next month. THAT'S WHAT A DEPOSIT IS FOR! he didn't care at all. he was used to tenant's trashing his apartments, leaving junk for him to haul off, and owing rent.

sadly, lots of daycare providers have clients leave on short notice and then fight them for the deposit or not pay for care they've already received. for a child that only attended for 3 weeks at 2 days per week i'm pretty sure you're not putting anyone in a bind by giving a two week paid notice.

You don't know one thing about the specifics of this mother-daughter duo. Maybe they really needed this income (even though it was part-time they agreed to it so it's likely they were happy to receive it), maybe it took them 3-4 months to find a new client. And it is possible it may take them several more months to find a replacement. That is probably why they required a month's notice. I sure wouldn't be happy if I required 2 week's notice (which I do) & then my client came & said to me, "hope you don't mind but I can only give you a week's notice". I don't require a deposit though to begin care that is why I definitely require a two week notice.

[Unregistered]

How old is she? Dont be so hard on yourself. Heres an idea: Do you have a friend you could trade with so you can have some time? Maybe you could shoot for putting your child back in somewhere in the fall? If its not a good fit then dont keep her there. The providers should understand! Let us know what happens!

[jen]

i personally think it's fine. i doubt they'll be bothered when you say, "i'm taking her out immediately, and i know you'll keep the deposit with such short notice, but i just can't keep her here for another month."

i know how you feel. i always feel bad when i quit ANYHING. i did this at an apartment one time. i was young and spontaneous (and poor) so i cleaned the apartment spic and span, went to my landlord's office and told him i was leaving. he had already been paid for the full month and i told him i didn't expect any of my deposit back (which i would've gotten) since i didn't give him a full month's notice that would cover the next month. THAT'S WHAT A DEPOSIT IS FOR! he didn't care at all. he was used to tenant's trashing his apartments, leaving junk for him to haul off, and owing rent.

sadly, lots of daycare providers have clients leave on short notice and then fight them for the deposit or not pay for care they've already received. for a child that only attended for 3 weeks at 2 days per week i'm pretty sure you're not putting anyone in a bind by giving a two week paid notice.

LOL! It's a lot easier to think its "fine" when its not your money! For goodness sake, she signed a contract and agreed to specific terms...she should honour that.

You don't know anything about these people except what the OP told us...that they were very nice, trustworthy people. I think she should treat them as such.

[grandmom]

You signed a contract. You owe the money.

p.e.r.i.o.d.

[youretooloud]

LOL! It's a lot easier to think its "fine" when its not your money! For goodness sake, she signed a contract and agreed to specific terms...she should honour that.

You don't know anything about these people except what the OP told us...that they were very nice, trustworthy people. I think she should treat them as such.

They may have absolutely no idea that you don't plan to pay the month's notice. It's all fine to take your child out, but you should continue for the next two weeks, and then let them keep the two week's pay. Or continue for a month.

I didn't realize you signed a contract. They probably understand your situation, but surely they still expect to be paid. Why bother with a contract if they don't plan to enforce it?

[JenNJ]

I'm glad it went well. But I would be sure to pay for the month that you agreed to. Word gets around in the childcare community and they can take legal action against you for non-payment.

[QualiTcare]

LOL! It's a lot easier to think its "fine" when its not your money! For goodness sake, she signed a contract and agreed to specific terms...she should honour that.

You don't know anything about these people except what the OP told us...that they were very nice, trustworthy people. I think she should treat them as such.

yeah, it's easy to think it's fine because people require a deposit incase someone skips out on them and doesn't pay for what they already owe. from what the OP has stated, she is up to date on what she OWES and the provider will receive two weeks worth of pay for time that won't be used. two weeks of pay for time that won't be used might be more favorable than one month of pay that WILL be used. it's practically free money.

if a provider is that dependent upon a month's notice then they should require a deposit to cover one month worth of care. don't require a two week deposit and then expect one month's pay. that defeats the purpose of the deposit.

[jen]

yeah, it's easy to think it's fine because people require a deposit incase someone skips out on them and doesn't pay for what they already owe. from what the OP has stated, she is up to date on what she OWES and the provider will receive two weeks worth of pay for time that won't be used. two weeks of pay for time that won't be used might be more favorable than one month of pay that WILL be used. it's practically free money.

if a provider is that dependent upon a month's notice then they should require a deposit to cover one month worth of care. don't require a two week deposit and then expect one month's pay. that defeats the purpose of the deposit.

That is certainly an option; but it is an option that would make it pretty tough on people to start daycare. One months deposit is a pretty heft amount. I require a 30 day notice and I don't charge any deposit. I've never had a problem, but if I did, I wouldn't hesitate to take someone to court over it.

The bottom line is she AGREED to give one months notice; there is NO EXCUSE for breaking her her word...and her contract is (or should be) her word. I understand that some people don't take that seriously, but I do.

[littlemissmuffet]

That is certainly an option; but it is an option that would make it pretty tough on people to start daycare. One months deposit is a pretty heft amount. I require a 30 day notice and I don't charge any deposit. I've never had a problem, but if I did, I wouldn't hesitate to take someone to court over it.

The bottom line is she AGREED to give one months notice; there is NO EXCUSE for breaking her her word...and her contract is (or should be) her word. I understand that some people don't take that seriously, but I do.

Absolutely!
I require 1 month's notice as well, but I certaintly don't expect a month's worth of deposit money... otherwise, I wouldn't be in business. Deposit or not, my parents sign a contract agreeing to give a month's notice - if they don't, they're going to court, end of story.
I'm nice and trustworthy, but I most definitely would not be happy about this mom thinking the 2 weeks pay is fine .

[dEHmom]

I require 4 full weeks notice as well.
I take 1/2 months deposit.

they are still required for 2 more weeks pay, regardless of if they use it. I have found that most give a 2 weeks notice, therefore, they pay for the last 2 weeks, and forfeit their deposit. Works out.

[Amy]

Wow

I was really interested to hear the responses. I can tell that different providers have different opinions. I'm certainly not trying to skip out on anything I owe and I do want to honor the contract. I guess my thinking was that since she JUST started and it was only two days a week, that the two weeks' deposit would be adequate. I know that they're not full on the days she's there, so I'm pretty sure her spot wasn't preventing them from adding new children.

I've actually been self-employed myself for several years, working as a massage therapist, and so I definitely have understanding for the uncertainty of self-employment. In addition, my husband is also self-employed as a painting contractor. Things fall through, people change their minds. I'm not saying this to imply that I don't have to honor a contract, but there is also context to consider. If I had her in there for a month, then decided it wasn't right for us, does it seem reasonable for us to continue there for another month? If we don't continue, does it seem reasonable for us to pay for an entire month? Two weeks seems fair in this context, but a month seems a bit much.

This is just an argument, since when I go back today I am definitely going to talk with them and tell them that I will pay them for a month, though I am not sure if I will I have her attend the whole time (it was a bit awkward today when I brought her and I don't want to feel awkward or feel conflicted about my decision two days a week for the next month!). I admit that my opinion about what was fair in this context made me reinterpret the contract to suit myself. That wasn't fair and I'm glad I came on here and people reminded me of that.

I just bring up the argument about context because of my perspective as a self-employed person (and wife of a self-employed person).

Even I disagree with you or you disagree with me, I'm really glad to hear all your opinions. I know I need to hear the other side because it's easy to just consider my experience and perspective. It influences how able I am to imagine their perspective, and it limits me.

[cheerfuldom]

a contract is a contract. It is in effect from day one so even if you decided after the first day that daycare was not working for you, you would still be as bound as you would if you used the daycare for a year. I understand your predicament and its up to the provider to cut you some slack. They might do that but I would not expect it or feel entitled to it.

[JenNJ]

Your job, your husbands job, and your finances have NOTHING to do with the provider or the contract. A deal is a deal. You agreed to it. The time to negotiate would have been BEFORE you signed, not now.

You have no idea the costs associated with childcare so don't say that because you are a newer client it should be OK. I buy every child a pack n play, sheets, blankets, cups, a cot, and more personal items as soon as they start. I buy food in bulk every month based on enrollment. If your provider does something similar, should they eat costs because you are not honoring your contract?

[dEHmom]

Your job, your husbands job, and your finances have NOTHING to do with the provider or the contract. A deal is a deal. You agreed to it. The time to negotiate would have been BEFORE you signed, not now.

You have no idea the costs associated with childcare so don't say that because you are a newer client it should be OK. I buy every child a pack n play, sheets, blankets, cups, a cot, and more personal items as soon as they start. I buy food in bulk every month based on enrollment. If your provider does something similar, should they eat costs because you are not honoring your contract?

yep. I am almost tempted to start charging an enrollment fee because of this. I do a 2 week trial period where anyone can cancel at anytime without penalty. after the 2 week timeframe, you owe me 2 weeks pay and I keep your deposit (total of 4 weeks). you are welcome to use the time you paid for, or you can just walk, either way I don't care.

But if I had to go purchase a pnp prior to starting, and they backed out right away, I'd be peeved. yeah I can use that for another child, but that would've been money I shouldn't have spent, and was expecting to recoop with the fees paid for the month.


op, you are sympathetic to self employed, yet it seems like you've contradicted several times with what you've said. You understand your agreement/obligation, but you seem confused because of the timeframe.

Regardless,
day 1 you enter the home, you are bound by the contract
day 30 you enter into the home, you're bound by the contract
day 250 you enter the home, you're bound by the contract.

You were reactive not proactive. Based on what you stated you were requiring, was 1 day a week to have away to work on a thesis. What you stated is you required a babysitter and chose a daycare. This does not make sense to me. I'm still stumped as to why you would think a daycare is what you needed.

ETA: you sound like you a very nice person, and if only more parents were like you. I apologize if what I wrote above sounded harsh. It wasn't meant to be, I have dealt with it twice where families rush to get the spot because I'm doing interviews, and then realize that they shouldn't have done so. It sort of stinks because by that time the other families have already found other care.