Another kid always sick

[Silly Songs]

I think it's wonderful that she lets you come in to feed your child . But one thing you may not realize is that maybe she is paying more attention to sick baby while you are there because you are with your baby and he is content for that amount of time, now she can focus more on that needy child . I'm just guessing . Also , since your provider seems accommodating , she is probably also accommodating for the other mom , letting little fussy man come when he doesn't feel well.
Please don't judge all of us based on the replies of some . Yeah, some have been in this business a long long time and are just very blunt. Obviously that type would not be a good fit for you . I work in a center and we welcome breast feeding moms . Every provider has a different way to run things . Good luck with everything .

[nannyde]

I think it's wonderful that she lets you come in to feed your child . But one thing you may not realize is that maybe she is paying more attention to sick baby while you are there because you are with your baby and he is content for that amount of time, now she can focus more on that needy child . I'm just guessing . Also , since your provider seems accommodating , she is probably also accommodating for the other mom , letting little fussy man come when he doesn't feel well.
Please don't judge all of us based on the replies of some . Yeah, some have been in this business a long long time and are just very blunt. Obviously that type would not be a good fit for you . I work in a center and we welcome breast feeding moms . Every provider has a different way to run things . Good luck with everything .

That's a great point about centers. I didn't think of that. A center accommodating breast feeding is completely different than a home child care. The room is only babies with multiple workers who love to have someone to talk to in most instances. The center worker doesn't care if the kid leaves because she gets paid the same. She doesn't have to answer to hard questions as they go to the admin.

Iwatched cameras for nearly a year for two centers that both had very luxurious breastfeeding lounges. When the moms could feed in the nursery they came in droves. When they had to take the baby out of the room and go into the lounge they lasted a couple of weeks and quit coming. It was a GREAT hook to get in new clients though.

The center offered free formula for all babies and most breastfeeding moms came for a couple weeks to feed, then sent breastmilk for a few weeks and then switched to the free formula. Out of 10 breastfed babies only one would be on breastmilk thru the eleventh month. Most were on formula by the sixth month.

If the center offers in room feeding you are most likely going to have a good turnout.

[Sugaree]

That's a great point about centers. I didn't think of that. A center accommodating breast feeding is completely different than a home child care. The room is only babies with multiple workers who love to have someone to talk to in most instances. The center worker doesn't care if the kid leaves because she gets paid the same. She doesn't have to answer to hard questions as they go to the admin.

Iwatched cameras for nearly a year for two centers that both had very luxurious breastfeeding lounges. When the moms could feed in the nursery they came in droves. When they had to take the baby out of the room and go into the lounge they lasted a couple of weeks and quit coming. It was a GREAT hook to get in new clients though.

The center offered free formula for all babies and most breastfeeding moms came for a couple weeks to feed, then sent breastmilk for a few weeks and then switched to the free formula. Out of 10 breastfed babies only one would be on breastmilk thru the eleventh month. Most were on formula by the sixth month.

If the center offers in room feeding you are most likely going to have a good turnout.

I'm not sure that correlating day care facilities to breastfeeding rates is altogether accurate. My decision to BF/pump this long has nothing to do with what's available at day care. The center that DS goes to allows in room nursing and also provides free formula. DS is almost 14 months old and still gets pumped breastmilk and nurses at home. The only reason I don't nurse him on my lunchbreak anymore is that he's slowly gotten on the toddlers' schedule so he's often asleep during my lunchbreak. If he's not asleep he gets very upset when I leave and wakes the small babies up, so it's better that I just don't go even though I'd love to be able to spend that time with him. It also kind of ****s that right when I stop visiting is when two new babies start who have BFing moms. It would have been nice to have someone to talk to who gets nursing.

[Thriftylady]

I'm not sure that correlating day care facilities to breastfeeding rates is altogether accurate. My decision to BF/pump this long has nothing to do with what's available at day care. The center that DS goes to allows in room nursing and also provides free formula. DS is almost 14 months old and still gets pumped breastmilk and nurses at home. The only reason I don't nurse him on my lunchbreak anymore is that he's slowly gotten on the toddlers' schedule so he's often asleep during my lunchbreak. If he's not asleep he gets very upset when I leave and wakes the small babies up, so it's better that I just don't go even though I'd love to be able to spend that time with him. It also kind of ****s that right when I stop visiting is when two new babies start who have BFing moms. It would have been nice to have someone to talk to who gets nursing.

Now I would have no problem with allowing you to come breastfeed, because you get it! You seem to understand that you are being allowed to do it and you won't cross the line to make it a problem for your provider, you are trying to be respectful. I get what you are saying about it would be nice to talk to other moms in the same boat, in fact when you are the parent of an infant, being able to talk to any adult can seem like a huge thing!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I find it somewhat unsettling to hear that so many breastfeeding mothers quit breastfeeding, or send in minimal amounts (if any at all) of breastmilk, because a center or a home provider is not more accommodating. I am not saying provide your home as a lounge...but surely something can be done to encourage breastfeeding more. I get not wanting parents lounging in your business/home when you have your own schedule to maintain and clients privacy. But, there has to be a middle ground somewhere.

FWIW, I don't take kids under 2. None have ever had a BFing mom ask to come BF them. If they did, I would simply tell them I cannot allow any parents to hang out as it is a clients privacy invasion.

[cheerfuldom]

I find it somewhat unsettling to hear that so many breastfeeding mothers quit breastfeeding, or send in minimal amounts (if any at all) of breastmilk, because a center or a home provider is not more accommodating. I am not saying provide your home as a lounge...but surely something can be done to encourage breastfeeding more. I get not wanting parents lounging in your business/home when you have your own schedule to maintain and clients privacy. But, there has to be a middle ground somewhere.

FWIW, I don't take kids under 2. None have ever had a BFing mom ask to come BF them. If they did, I would simply tell them I cannot allow any parents to hang out as it is a clients privacy invasion.

What is the middle ground though? Not trying to start a fight but curious as to what a middle ground would be. It seems pretty clear to me that either you offer moms the option to breastfeed on site or you don't. Seems pretty cut and dry. I am not trying to minimize the challenge of breastfeeding for working mothers though. I have worked while having a young child, pumped in bathrooms and empty offices before....it is a pain! It is much easier to continue to breastfeed if you are home with your child or have easy access to your child during the day or comfortable pumping accommodation. That said, I don't let moms come either. It is ALWAYS a problem as this original post shows. Moms that were formally happy with your services have an hour or more each day to sit and watch and worry about things they never would have cared about before. They suddenly feel that they get extra opinions and special consideration and it just becomes drama.

[nannyde]

I'm not sure that correlating day care facilities to breastfeeding rates is altogether accurate. My decision to BF/pump this long has nothing to do with what's available at day care. The center that DS goes to allows in room nursing and also provides free formula. DS is almost 14 months old and still gets pumped breastmilk and nurses at home. The only reason I don't nurse him on my lunchbreak anymore is that he's slowly gotten on the toddlers' schedule so he's often asleep during my lunchbreak. If he's not asleep he gets very upset when I leave and wakes the small babies up, so it's better that I just don't go even though I'd love to be able to spend that time with him. It also kind of ****s that right when I stop visiting is when two new babies start who have BFing moms. It would have been nice to have someone to talk to who gets nursing.

I just told my experience. I don't know if they are reflective of other centers.

[nannyde]

What is the middle ground though? Not trying to start a fight but curious as to what a middle ground would be. It seems pretty clear to me that either you offer moms the option to breastfeed on site or you don't. Seems pretty cut and dry. I am not trying to minimize the challenge of breastfeeding for working mothers though. I have worked while having a young child, pumped in bathrooms and empty offices before....it is a pain! It is much easier to continue to breastfeed if you are home with your child or have easy access to your child during the day or comfortable pumping accommodation. That said, I don't let moms come either. It is ALWAYS a problem as this original post shows. Moms that were formally happy with your services have an hour or more each day to sit and watch and worry about things they never would have cared about before. They suddenly feel that they get extra opinions and special consideration and it just becomes drama.

I can't imagine it. I know some providers do it with success but I don't know what unintended consequences they absorb as a product of it. There are some providers who like the company but I don't need company.

Finding mothers who would behave would be tough. This op is really the poster child for no good dead goes unpunished. Even after explaining how toxic her proposition is she refused to acknowledge the harm to the business. This is a REAL life example of how risky it is to have parents on site with the other kids. Despite the obvious harm to the provider, my child and my rights ALWAYS prevail.

[Mom o Col]

No NannyDe, I don't agree with you on pretty much everything. I think your rules are extreme, I think you presentation stinks, and I now see why many of you have your own daycares. You could not hack it at a facility with checks and balances. I'll be referring all additional questions to licensing.

Unregistered, your problem is you can't handle the plain truth. It has little to nothing to do with Nan and her presentation. She gets down to brass tacks and tells it like it is. Personally, I prefer her "presentation" to sugar coating and petting any day.
Checks and balances in a "facility"? Ha! I worked in a facility for over ten years. Nope. All checks and balances meant was that the director's favorites could get away with things like wiping a kid's face with the same rag she just wiped the floor with; yanking kids by the arm; leaving the room to chit chat while her partner was left with 8 infants on her own. And those are just the tip of the iceberg. If I couldn't "hack it" in a facility it was for those reasons. I recommend (if you can "hack it") a book titled Doing Time. It may enlighten you. You will see that it's not always that darn child care provider but too often the parents who are the problem. I often say it isn't the kids I care for who are difficult, it's their parents.

http://www.amazon.com/Doing-Time-Really-Means-Daycare-ebook/dp/B006UYCWGA/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1407861107&sr=1-1&keywords=doing+time

[Cat Herder]

I can't imagine it. I know some providers do it with success but I don't know what unintended consequences they absorb as a product of it.

Finding mothers who would behave would be tough.

This op is really the poster child for no good dead goes unpunished. Even after explaining how toxic her proposition is she refused to acknowledge the harm to the business. This is a REAL life example of how risky it is to have parents on site with the other kids. Despite the obvious harm to the provider, my child and my rights ALWAYS prevail.

I am one of the providers who have done it with success. BUT... my playroom is separate from my family space so it works much more like the center lounge deal (parents can view the playroom video feed from the big screen in the living room without disturbing us). My routine was:

1. We set a daily schedule. down to the minute, if mom was late and baby was screaming I fed baby and mom pumped (instead) for my back-up supply. (I also offer formula included with tuition)

2. I had baby ready to feed upon arrival. Changed, freshly dressed, wrapped in snuggle blankie and gave DCM a fresh burp cloth. They stay in recliner in the living area of my home watching tv or reading.

3. When they were finished DCM called me by baby monitor. I placed infant back in their crib every time. No blanket, no snuggie, on their backs. I don't let DCM's put their own infants to sleep, here, because they 99% argue with the sleep regs and I simply don't have the patience to hear it any more.

4. If I had a situation that was requiring too much adult care (bully, needy or daily venting moms) or was too disruptive to the rest of the group, I had the freedom to say no more at any time. They knew I would, so it did not happen. You must have a strong backbone and be willing to lose the income for it to work.

Oddly enough, few take me up on it anymore. :confused: They prefer to send me a nice supply frozen and let me handle it.

[Angelsj]

I can't imagine it. I know some providers do it with success but I don't know what unintended consequences they absorb as a product of it. There are some providers who like the company but I don't need company.

Finding mothers who would behave would be tough. This op is really the poster child for no good dead goes unpunished. Even after explaining how toxic her proposition is she refused to acknowledge the harm to the business. This is a REAL life example of how risky it is to have parents on site with the other kids. Despite the obvious harm to the provider, my child and my rights ALWAYS prevail.

I am not sure what you mean by that. I understand any possible "consequences" and while I am sure I have not seen it all, I have seen a LOT over the years. I don't particularly need company, but I don't mind it either.

Yes, it takes some doing. I have had mothers who did not want to follow the rules, and they often do not last long here. I find running a laid back, open home (think grandma's house) works for me. I am open to many requests that I see off-handedly denied by the majority on the forum. That is fine, but it does work for me.

All that said, I am NOT backing the OP. If I found out one parent was complaining to another parent about their kid during this time, I would be irritated to say the least, and let them know their concerns need to come to me. Even if you were there an hour every day nursing (and that is pushing it) you are still only seeing a very small window of time.
I encourage all my parents to talk to me if they have ANY concerns, but don't go griping behind my back. That is childish and rude, and I need to work with grownups as parents. I already deal with childishness from your child. I will not deal with it from parents.

I will say, like CatHerder, I find very few mothers take me up on this any more, a concept I find saddening.

[nannyde]

Unregistered, your problem is you can't handle the plain truth. It has little to nothing to do with Nan and her presentation. She gets down to brass tacks and tells it like it is. Personally, I prefer her "presentation" to sugar coating and petting any day.
Checks and balances in a "facility"? Ha! I worked in a facility for over ten years. Nope. All checks and balances meant was that the director's favorites could get away with things like wiping a kid's face with the same rag she just wiped the floor with; yanking kids by the arm; leaving the room to chit chat while her partner was left with 8 infants on her own. And those are just the tip of the iceberg. If I couldn't "hack it" in a facility it was for those reasons. I recommend (if you can "hack it") a book titled Doing Time. It may enlighten you. You will see that it's not always that darn child care provider but too often the parents who are the problem. I often say it isn't the kids I care for who are difficult, it's their parents.

http://www.amazon.com/Doing-Time-Rea...rds=doing+time

That is a great book. I have the first review on it. It is pretty highly ranked in Amazon if you consider how many books are sold there.

If you can't come up with a good argument with content then go for how it was said.

[Thriftylady]

I am not sure what you mean by that. I understand any possible "consequences" and while I am sure I have not seen it all, I have seen a LOT over the years. I don't particularly need company, but I don't mind it either.

Yes, it takes some doing. I have had mothers who did not want to follow the rules, and they often do not last long here. I find running a laid back, open home (think grandma's house) works for me. I am open to many requests that I see off-handedly denied by the majority on the forum. That is fine, but it does work for me.

All that said, I am NOT backing the OP. If I found out one parent was complaining to another parent about their kid during this time, I would be irritated to say the least, and let them know their concerns need to come to me. Even if you were there an hour every day nursing (and that is pushing it) you are still only seeing a very small window of time.
I encourage all my parents to talk to me if they have ANY concerns, but don't go griping behind my back. That is childish and rude, and I need to work with grownups as parents. I already deal with childishness from your child. I will not deal with it from parents.

I will say, like CatHerder, I find very few mothers take me up on this any more, a concept I find saddening.

Since I am just restarting I am tightening up my rules some from the first time I did care. I have never had a parent ask to come breastfeed and until I read this post, I would have been open to it. But this post seems to show the possible consequences.

[Cat Herder]

AngelSJ,


I think Nan means consequences like the bully mother, the venting mother, the needy mother and the "my child!!!" mother interfering with your day or pay.

Especially views like the OP states that decide which child is costing her child's happiness... from a fraction of the actual days viewing. Judging and condemning another infant/parent then giving an altimatum... my child or theirs.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

What is the middle ground though? Not trying to start a fight but curious as to what a middle ground would be. It seems pretty clear to me that either you offer moms the option to breastfeed on site or you don't. Seems pretty cut and dry. I am not trying to minimize the challenge of breastfeeding for working mothers though. I have worked while having a young child, pumped in bathrooms and empty offices before....it is a pain! It is much easier to continue to breastfeed if you are home with your child or have easy access to your child during the day or comfortable pumping accommodation. That said, I don't let moms come either. It is ALWAYS a problem as this original post shows. Moms that were formally happy with your services have an hour or more each day to sit and watch and worry about things they never would have cared about before. They suddenly feel that they get extra opinions and special consideration and it just becomes drama.

I honestly have no idea what middle ground there is. The only thing I would be comfortable with, if I had infants here, is allowing the parent to take them off site to breastfeed them and then returning them. I don't typically allow two drop-offs per day so to me this would be a compromise. You're right, though. I wouldn't want a Mom just sitting there inspecting my program when a.) I don't know her and her background b.) there is the privacy of other clients to ensure and c.) I simply don't allow adult participants in my program unless they are a trained staff member.