Another kid always sick

[craftymissbeth]

Just got off the phone with them to clarify where she was looking. She referred me to the Kansas state statute 65-1,248.

I can't find that reg :confused:

Could you quote it from the reg book?

[craftymissbeth]

Ok I see... That is NOT a licensing regulation.

http://kansasstatutes.lesterama.org/Chapter_65/Article_1/65-1x248.html

BUT...
if my policy is that I do not allow parents to "visit" during daycare hours then that means you may NOT breast feed here... because I don't allow visits at all. Therefore,

(b) A mother may breastfeed in any place she has a right to be.

protects me because my policy is that parents are not provided the right to "visit". You may pick your child up and take them elsewhere whenever you wish, but you do not have the right to stay for extended periods of time regardless of the reason why.

[mom2many]

I have had several dcms come breast feed their babies on their lunch. It has never been an issue...The other dcks were either eating lunch or napping and no one interfered with my business. They simply fed their child and left.

I believe it comes down to a good fit between all parties involved. I personally would not deny a parent the ability to nurse their baby in my home, but I would expect them to come to ME with any concerns they had & never approach another parent.

Open communication is imperative in a good working relationship caring for other people's children. I know I provide excellent care, but if a parent has concerns or questions about anything, I want to be the one they come to!

Your provider might be frustrated with this other child coming sick. She needs to realize how you feel and decide how to resolve this! For the well being of the others in care, I would seriously think twice about caring for a child getting others sick.

With that said, some babies can be more demanding and need more one on one care, even if they are healthy. I've had my share of challenging infants that didn't do as well in a group care setting. If you are unhappy and believe your child isn't able to receive the attention you want them to have, then you should talk to your provider about these concerns or look for other care if she is unable to assure you, this is not the case.

[nannyde]

(b) A mother may breastfeed in any place she has a right to be.


Exactly. Where a mother has a right to be. You don't have a right to be beyond the front door of my daycare when I answer the door with your child in my hands.

Now what?

I don't allow ANY parents to hang out in my house. It's not personal. I don't care how the baby or toddler or school ager is fed. I don't have parents parenting on my property. It causes problems like parents having an opinion of my other daycare kids and feeling the need to confront the other parents with said opinions.

[Thriftylady]

Those are the same regs I had in Kansas. It does not say that a parent has to allow you to breastfeed on premises. If you are having so many issues with care, then you should find a new provider. Looks like you have found issues everywhere you have gone, so perhaps a nanny would be more appropriate for you.

[Unregistered]

I would hardly say that unsanitary conditions, inappropriate behavior, and violent/inattentive behavior are issues that just myself would have with providers. Being that my child is at daycare approx. 40 hours a week, I like to see where my child is staying. It personally allows me to better bond with my child and later have conversations about what they did. My daughter and I would frequently talk about what toys she played with, what art projects she did, etc. She enjoyed telling me about her day, and I liked being able to connect with her on that. Every daycare provider/facility I interviewed was more than happy to show me around and explain their day. I'm honestly floored that some providers are so secretive and defensive when it comes to that.

And there's a very big difference between confrontation and discussion...but some of you clearly do not understand that. I would never just go up to her and say "your kid is awful and keep him home because he's a little germ monster." That would be crazy.

And again, I consulted my DCP prior to breastfeeding. We arranged the best schedule for everyone involved. I essentially take one child off her hands for that hour..which is also her lunch schedule for the kiddos. I guess the providers in Kansas may want to double check and clarify with licensing if they are telling parents one thing and providers another.

[nannyde]

Again, I called licensing to ask about breastfeeding. Home daycare are considered a business, but they are licensed by a state agency even though they are a private business. She said it's the same as breastfeeding in a privately owned store.

Yes and a privately owned store doesn't have to allow you into areas other customers are not allowed.

I can tell you that coming to this site has given me an extremely sick feeling about daycare providers in the world today.

I'm with you there. I'm EXTREMELY sick about how the average parent thinks they can force their way into my business policies and do as they please because they sprogged out a kid and can pay for child care by their own money or a child care grant.

I have never felt such a lack of respect and lack of understanding from a group of people.

You have been gifted with the truth. Now let it soak in. A provider isn't going to respect you because you conceived a child, gave birth, and then accessed a child care service. You don't get respect for that.

You have to EARN respect. You earn it by following policies and not throwing your "rights" around and expecting the provider to do as they are told.

You are just a parent. I'm just a parent. Being a parent doesn't mean you deserve respect. Our prisons are FULL of parents. Our mental institutions are LOUSY with parents. We have millions of emotionally crippled people because they had horrible parents.

Do you get that being a parent has NOTHING to do with deserving respect?




I don't know how your parents feel comfortable talking to you when if they mention one concern you will term them.

I have never known a single provider who has termed over a parent mentioning one concern. Who did that?


I guess I see nothing wrong with being an involved and concerned parent.

You can be involved by taking your kid to a park and spending time with them at home. You can involve them in church or mommy groups. You can get your involvement in something other than my policies.






I expect my children to follow the rules set by their provider. Just like in life, rules are different everywhere you go. I think it's good skill for my children to learn while they are young.


If you truly believed that you wouldn't be throwing your rights around when you get a no.

However, I disagree on some practices when it involves my child's health and mental well-being. I think any good parent would. If a parent continously sits back and says nothing and is all go with flow on everything, that would be the parent I would be the most concerned about.

You have the right to voice your concern with the provider. You have the right to remove your child and take your money elsewhere. What you don't have the right to do is have an opinion of whether or not the provider keeps the kid and if the kid ****s the life out of the provider by its neediness. You don't have a right to DISCUSS anything with the parent of that child. It's NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

Do you want the service? If you don't then leave. That's your rights in a nutshell.

If I had a parent that told me they could come onsite and breastfeed any time they wanted I would term them immediately. I won't be bullied by a breastfeeding mom. I won't be bullied by a formula fed mom either so I keep it fair.

There's NOTHING special about how you feed your kid. There's nothing special about your desire to hang out in a child care. There's nothing unusual about your belief that you get to have an opinion.

What IS unusual is your complete lack of insight that the way you are behaving as manifested by your ORIGINAL post is the EXACT reason why it is very risky to allow a breastfeeding parent to feed onsite.

Can you at least verify with us that you can NOW see that your behavior is the POSTER PARENT behavior of why a provider says NO to breastfeeding onsite? Can you show us you have the insight to see that it would be lethal to our business to allow you in our business? Can you admit that the very rights you BELIEVE you have will loose us money? Can you see that our children have to be fed, clothed, and have a roof over their heads and that your behavior could challenge our ability to take care of our own "my child".

I can't allow you to breastfeed onsite because your presence threatens my ability to feed, clothe, and house "my child". This issue comes down to "my child" not yours.

[Thriftylady]

Well you could always offer to pay double your rate and then she could afford to get rid of the other child and give yours more attention!

[craftymissbeth]

I would hardly say that unsanitary conditions, inappropriate behavior, and violent/inattentive behavior are issues that just myself would have with providers.

You're right, but that needs to be addressed to the provider, not the parent.

Being that my child is at daycare approx. 40 hours a week, I like to see where my child is staying.

Yes, you're also right... but you can actually do that pretty well at pick up.

It personally allows me to better bond with my child and later have conversations about what they did.

Parent bonding really should be done on your time... not the provider's. Breast feeding at daycare because your child NEEDS to eat is one thing... doing it simply as a bonding moment is another.

My daughter and I would frequently talk about what toys she played with, what art projects she did, etc. She enjoyed telling me about her day, and I liked being able to connect with her on that.

This can also be a perfect bonding moment... at home.

Every daycare provider/facility I interviewed was more than happy to show me around and explain their day. I'm honestly floored that some providers are so secretive and defensive when it comes to that.

Oh, I am open about what we do here and I also show parents my whole daycare space... but not when other children are here. I don't know my daycare parents on a personal level. They could be anyone. I'm not allowing them direct access to other clients children.

And there's a very big difference between confrontation and discussion...but some of you clearly do not understand that. I would never just go up to her and say "your kid is awful and keep him home because he's a little germ monster." That would be crazy.

I didn't see anyone saying you would do that. But we know from experience that approaching a parent about ANY issue about their child is dangerous territory.

And again, I consulted my DCP prior to breastfeeding. We arranged the best schedule for everyone involved. I essentially take one child off her hands for that hour..which is also her lunch schedule for the kiddos.

That's awesome. I'm not willing to do that, though.

I guess the providers in Kansas may want to double check and clarify with licensing if they are telling parents one thing and providers another.

Actually, all licensing did was point you to a state law. They do not have "reign" over this particular issue because it's not in our regulations... they ONLY see over regulations. If we break another law while caring for children that does NOT go against what is written in the licensing regulations, then some other authority would oversee that.

[Unregistered]

No NannyDe, I don't agree with you on pretty much everything. I think your rules are extreme, I think you presentation stinks, and I now see why many of you have your own daycares. You could not hack it at a facility with checks and balances. I'll be referring all additional questions to licensing.

[nannyde]

And there's a very big difference between confrontation and discussion...but some of you clearly do not understand that. I would never just go up to her and say "your kid is awful and keep him home because he's a little germ monster." That would be crazy.
.

Oh for CRYING OUT LOUD. You STILL don't see where you have NO right whatsoever to "discuss" or confront a mother about her kid? You don't get to say W-O-R-D-S and make it sound like it's okay to do it. You can't frame it with soft speak. You can't justify it. It is WRONG.

It's none of your business.

You don't get to decide.

It has nothing to do with you.

Just decide if you want to stay there or not. That's all you get. NOTHING else.

You are just a parent. You just access child care. Child care is a business that offer services. If you need a service that allows you to voice your opinion or concern or whatever else WORDS you can come up to another client with then you have to find the provider that is willing to allow that.

That is going to be very hard to find.

[craftymissbeth]

No NannyDe, I don't agree with you on pretty much everything. I think your rules are extreme, I think you presentation stinks, and I now see why many of you have your own daycares. You could not hack it at a facility with checks and balances. I'll be referring all additional questions to licensing.

There's a 1/105 shot we live in the same county... if you do, you're not likely to get any straight answers.

BUT...

I wonder why you are even bothering wasting licensing's time with the breast feeding thing if it clearly works out well for both you and your provider :confused:

It only became an issue HERE because you're claiming that licensing says it's against regulations... and it's not.


As for your original issue about the sick kid, many of us did answer that. Just talk to the provider, but don't necessarily push your opinion that they should be termed. You have the right to make sure your child is in a healthy environment. I get that.

[nannyde]

No NannyDe, I don't agree with you on pretty much everything. I think your rules are extreme, I think you presentation stinks, and I now see why many of you have your own daycares. You could not hack it at a facility with checks and balances. I'll be referring all additional questions to licensing.

Go for it.

Why the heck would a provider want a facility instead of a home child care? What does that mean?

I don't have to have presentation. You are a parent. You don't deserve a good presentation if you behave badly with your provider, threaten her business, and throw your rights around.

The only presentation that will be acceptable to you is the one where you get a big YES.

[nannyde]

OP one more thing.

I believe you are incorrect as to what your rights are but let's say you are right.

We don't have to take you or keep you. We don't have to tell you why. We don't have to tell licensing why. We simply have to say that we will no longer provide service to you.

That's all we have to do.

If you throw your rights around me I will term you. I will term you for throwing your rights around me not for the rights you believe you have. Doesn't matter what right it is... the fact that you toss them at me will be the reason I will term you.

We don't have to mind you. We are our own boss. We are self employed. You are just someone who had a kid and put the kid in daycare. There's a zillion more someone's like you around.

The little secret you don't get is that if you behave with your daycare provider and stay IN YOUR PLACE as a customer... your kid will be loved, adored, and cherished because the provider will want to please you and keep you. The best way to get the best care for your kid is to be respectful of your provider and her business. One way to respect the provider is to LEAVE the child care if the business doesn't meet your needs.

[Thriftylady]

I had a parent like you once. Only they wanted the infant in the crib all day when I wasn't holding her or feeding her. It was in Kansas and I simply told them the truth, I don't believe in that, as it isn't good for the child's development so don't bring your child to me. I didn't even give them any paperwork. End of story. I would have done the same with you. I do hope you realize that if you keep finding reasons to bash providers, you will in fact end up on the "blacklist". Meaning that no provider will touch you to do care for you. Providers do talk, so do center employees. Providers go to classes together to learn about things like breastfeeding and licensing and they talk. Perhaps you need some of those classes, so you can learn what the regs really are.