Skipping Classes In Daycare

[e.j.]

The "a" word has always been whispered in our house. Her father has a very mild form and we've kept a close eye on her. I was actually looking at her the other day and thought we must in the clear because she's so verbal and smart. Now I'm anxious. She has a lot of other weird little things- not even sure what to call them. We have a lot of trouble when the seasons change. She hates to go from long to short sleeves and we spent quite a while having to get her used to it. She is very picky about her clothing. She refuses to wear pants and will only wear skirts with tights. She went through a biting phase with no known antecedents, and we looked at sensory issues, but her teachers and doctors told me it was developmental. She also has a ton of issues with sleep and I know that can be part of the disorder. Ugh. It might even be more reason to move her to the center at my work. I work for an agency that supports individuals with intellectual disabilities. I work on the adult residential side. The center supports children with and without specials needs and if she needed support, all specialists are on site.

As far as ratios, I don't know anything about that. I know in the 2 year old room I was told there wouldn't be more than 6 kids. I don't know a lot about the 4 year old room. We only had a passing conversation where the director told me she was doing so well with the kids and teacher she was thinking of keeping her in there. I told her I wasn't sure and came home to talk to my husband about it. I called to check on her yesterday and she was in the 4 year old room, but they told me they had taken a few other of the older kids because they were low attendance because of the holidays. He grandpa picked her up.

Your teachers and doctors may be correct that these things are just developmental but to me, they seem more like red flags given that your husband has Asperger's. Are they aware of that? It seems as if it could be an important fact for them to know.

Your company's day care center may be good for her but I would ask to observe the classroom first. I'd pay close attention to the teachers and how they respond to the kids but I would also pay close attention to the behavior of the other kids who will be behavioral role models for your dd on a daily basis.

[kindertouch]

I would take the advice from someone here regarding having your daughter checked by a doctor. The results will give you an idea about the things she likes and you will understand more about her behavior soon.

About moving her to a school near your office, I think it will benefit you both. But if you can bring her to the nearest school and have her have a look at it, who knows she'll love it there.

[cheerfuldom]

Judging from her family history and what you have described, I would seek a second opinion regarding any possible special needs and then make your choice regarding daycare. Really it seems so convenient to take her to the on site childcare and because they are prepared for special needs kids, you have that service to fall back on if you need it. also, I feel that children at more average developmental levels would benefit from staff that is so educated and prepared for varied needs. How does that compare with your current daycare? I am guessing it may be like many daycare centers in that a majority of the staff has only a few credit hours of early child development plus a high school diploma. For me, I would go with an immediate change to this new center because you already know your child is not thriving well and that the current staff recognizes that and has only offered one solution, which you don't really feel comfortable with. I wouldn't call that daycare hopping. If your kid is telling you she really doesnt like it there and the staff is supporting the idea that she is struggling, it seems like it is time for a change.

[Evansmom]

I have read that Aspie girls frequently get a wrong diagnosis for years and that many docs are not qualified to identify it in girls so please be careful in choosing the right doc for her. And if at first you don't get a diagnosis that you feel is right, get a second and third opinion.

Both my boys have it, I have it. I personally believe it's no cause for concern. Getting a diagnosis may help you understand her behaviors better but so can reading a book. My point is that sometimes Aspies don't need intervention, we just need understanding people around us. My husband just thinks I'm eccentric!

[daycarediva]

I have a dcg who I have suspicions of aspergers about. She does remarkably well here, at just 2 has full conversations with myself, my husband and adores the 4.5yo dcg. She also has the ability to do things at her own pace and doesn't need to 'keep up' with the older children. She is still two physically, for sure.

My dh has aspergers, and our oldest son has high functioning autism.

The "a" word has always been whispered in our house. Her father has a very mild form and we've kept a close eye on her. I was actually looking at her the other day and thought we must in the clear because she's so verbal and smart. Now I'm anxious. She has a lot of other weird little things- not even sure what to call them. We have a lot of trouble when the seasons change. She hates to go from long to short sleeves and we spent quite a while having to get her used to it. She is very picky about her clothing. She refuses to wear pants and will only wear skirts with tights. She went through a biting phase with no known antecedents, and we looked at sensory issues, but her teachers and doctors told me it was developmental. She also has a ton of issues with sleep and I know that can be part of the disorder. Ugh. It might even be more reason to move her to the center at my work. I work for an agency that supports individuals with intellectual disabilities. I work on the adult residential side. The center supports children with and without specials needs and if she needed support, all specialists are on site.

As far as ratios, I don't know anything about that. I know in the 2 year old room I was told there wouldn't be more than 6 kids. I don't know a lot about the 4 year old room. We only had a passing conversation where the director told me she was doing so well with the kids and teacher she was thinking of keeping her in there. I told her I wasn't sure and came home to talk to my husband about it. I called to check on her yesterday and she was in the 4 year old room, but they told me they had taken a few other of the older kids because they were low attendance because of the holidays. He grandpa picked her up.

Tips on seasonal clothing changes-I start my son off in the month or two before the change wearing a short sleeve shirt over his long sleeve shirt, watched the temperature (even bought ds a thermometer that hangs outside of his bedroom window. I put a small picture of a Tshirt on 50*, etc for the visual reminder of necessary clothing. I would also allow her to make her own clothing selections in the store, if you aren't already.

I think the center at your workplace sounds the most promising. It would not hurt to set up a meet and greet, and speak to the director specifically about what THEY would do for your daughter should she attend there. I think you need more options than putting her in the 4's room.

[Unregistered]

Update: So we did move my little one to the center at my work. She claims to hate it and tells me nightly that she's not going back. She's made up an imaginary friend who goes there and says he pinches her. It's weird, but when I pick her up she refuses to leave, tells me she likes it and had fun, but then later tells me she wants to go to the old school or stay with grandma. It's only been a few weeks, hopefully she'll adjust. On the plus- I'm paying via payroll deduction and saving a ton of money, and it's super convenient!

As for the autism stuff, I've done some research and am not interested in a formal diagnosis at this point. If this is who she is, we're the ones who are going to change and adjust- I don't want to work on "fixing" her. I'm also not thrilled with labeling her at this age. If I find that she's having issues making friends at this center in the next few months or slow to learn new skills, we'll look into some help.

Thanks all!

[Heidi]

Update: So we did move my little one to the center at my work. She claims to hate it and tells me nightly that she's not going back. She's made up an imaginary friend who goes there and says he pinches her. It's weird, but when I pick her up she refuses to leave, tells me she likes it and had fun, but then later tells me she wants to go to the old school or stay with grandma. It's only been a few weeks, hopefully she'll adjust. On the plus- I'm paying via payroll deduction and saving a ton of money, and it's super convenient!

As for the autism stuff, I've done some research and am not interested in a formal diagnosis at this point. If this is who she is, we're the ones who are going to change and adjust- I don't want to work on "fixing" her. I'm also not thrilled with labeling her at this age. If I find that she's having issues making friends at this center in the next few months or slow to learn new skills, we'll look into some help.

Thanks all!

Thanks for the update! We rarely get them and are often left wondering.

Sounds like a little power show with the "I'm not going back". I'd just answer it with some silly answer for now, unless you believe she's really distressed. Sounds like she's not, though. As for a label, I can see where you're coming from. Just keep in mind, though, that once she's school age, you may want to reconsider it. Sometimes, the only way to get services or be recognized is with that label. Either that, or find a good private school that honors children's individuality. ESPECIALLY if she's intellectually gifted.

Not sure if I already have you this, but here's a great organization/website for families with gifted children: http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/

[My3cents]

Update: So we did move my little one to the center at my work. She claims to hate it and tells me nightly that she's not going back. She's made up an imaginary friend who goes there and says he pinches her. It's weird, but when I pick her up she refuses to leave, tells me she likes it and had fun, but then later tells me she wants to go to the old school or stay with grandma.This is normal in a transition. The fact that she is loving it when you are there and not wanting to leave says a lot. I think she will adjust. She will pull your bluff and buttons and guilt strings of manipulation telling you she wants to go to her old school and Grandmas. Who doesn't want to go to Grandmas? I think she just misses some aspects of what was normal to her at the old school. I say give it time- It's only been a few weeks, hopefully she'll adjust. On the plus- I'm paying via payroll deduction and saving a ton of money, and it's super convenient!

As for the autism stuff, I've done some research and am not interested in a formal diagnosis at this point. If this is who she is, we're the ones who are going to change and adjust- I don't want to work on "fixing" her. I'm also not thrilled with labeling her at this age. If I find that she's having issues making friends at this center in the next few months or slow to learn new skills, we'll look into some help.

Thanks all!

Love your attitude and perspective- I think you made the best choice for your little amazing daughter~ Best

[Unregistered]

Another update I just had to add- she doesn't cry at drop off anymore! She has cried every day since I went back to work. The last week has been wonderful!