So Tired Of Parents

[daycarediva]

How heartbreaking for your child. Imagine spending your childhood knowing that your parent would rather drop you at daycare than spend time with you. Heartbreaking.

This happens to my daycare kiddos soooo often. You have NO IDEA how heartbroken your child/ren are to KNOW that Mom/Dad are home and they don't want them there. I have a few kids of sahms, one of those starts crying every single time someone mentions that their Mom is at work. He's just 3. Yes, they KNOW.

[Meeko]

I have a 4.5 year old DCG that is picking up on her parents not spending time with her. Her parents went on vacation for over a week and left her in my care. The same time all other DCKs went on vacation with their parents. I don't know how many times she asked me why the other children got to go with their parents and she didn't. I told her she had to ask her parents. Totally heartbreaking. These are the same parents that asked me to take her to see Santa for the first time instead of enjoying that memory themselves. I refused.

That breaks my heart.

But...what goes around comes around.

They'll one day be sitting in the old folks home their daughter puts them in...even if it's a good one.... and wondering why she never comes by..............

[littlemissmuffet]

I disagree...
I pay monthly for daycare. My sons set hours are 7:30 to 3pm. There is no stipulation that I have to be working. If I want to go home and sleep then I am paying for that and its my decision what I want to do with my alloted time. My daycare charges by the month..there is no discount for sick days/or vacation time so you bet if daycare is opened he is going.

Your poor son

I don't give discounts for sick or vacation time either - and I also do not care for children unless the parent is at work/in school. I don't support parents who don't value spending as much time with their own kids as possible.
So you can disagree all you like, but the reality is there are daycares out there that only provide care to WORKING (not SLEEPING) parents.

[Josiegirl]

I cannot imagine a parent not wanting to spend as many of their child's growing-up moments with them as possible. Kids grow so fast, pretty soon they don't need or want to be around their parents anymore. Why have kids if all you're going to do is ship them off to someone else during non-work hours?
That was the #1 reason I chose doing daycare when my first baby was born, 32 years ago. So what if you pay a few extra bucks to hold your spot? Isn't it worth it to know they're being well taken care of while you're at work???

Parents, please don't look at daycare as another place to save money. Usually it doesn't work out that way. I'm sure it's a consideration but please...providers work damn hard to make sure your child/ren feel safe, loved, stay healthy and learn. You just cannot put a price tag on a child the way you can on buying a car. Parent/provider relationships are a 2 way trust in raising children. It needs to work well or something will be thrown off kilter and I sure hope it's not the child's self-esteem, love and confidence issues. They need to feel completely loved and secure with their parents because who else will always be by their side through-out the rest of their life?

They will carry these feelings and issues with them their entire lives, it will be part of what kind of person they become, how they treat their spouses and their own children. Kids are NOT dumb, they pick up all those cues, they watch, they see and they just know.

With all that said, I do care for the kids, even when parents want to go back home and sleep. I don't say a word, just keep my mouth shut. But I find it soooo sad and thank God I had the opportunity to stay home with mine.

If you create those types of feelings now within your child, it's terribly difficult to gain back the love and trust you'll want later down the road.

[Unregistered]

I disagree...
I pay monthly for daycare. My sons set hours are 7:30 to 3pm. There is no stipulation that I have to be working. If I want to go home and sleep then I am paying for that and its my decision what I want to do with my alloted time. My daycare charges by the month..there is no discount for sick days/or vacation time so you bet if dayycare is opened he is going.

How sad. So your kid it'd only worth a few bucks, you rather hes at daycare to get your moneys "worth"rather than you spending time with him

[providerandmomof4]

I currently care for my neighbor's boys (3 & 5). So, old enough to know what is going on....Dcm recently gave notice, which I was heartbroken at first because I love the boys. But I've really come to realize that it's for the best because of things like this! She takes the day off and we will be playing outside. The boys used to say, "hey look, mommy is home, there is her car. What is she doing?" I would have to try to explain how mommy is probably getting a lot of stuff done and blah, blah, blah! Now they don't even say anything when they see her car. A few times they would even see her pulling into her drive as we were walking back from the park, "Hi, mommy!!" Breaks my heart. I feel like slapping her! I feel like this more and more with the lies she tells to spend the least amount of time with her kids as possible! Seriously upsetting.... And now she gave notice because she is moving across town. She acts so nonchalant about pulling them, it's maddening. Her: "Oh, I know the boys love it here but I just can't drive across town every day. They'll be fine, where ever we end up" Geez, I mean no appreciation whatsoever! And total disregard for their feelings.

[caregiver]

I currently care for my neighbor's boys (3 & 5). So, old enough to know what is going on....Dcm recently gave notice, which I was heartbroken at first because I love the boys. But I've really come to realize that it's for the best because of things like this! She takes the day off and we will be playing outside. The boys used to say, "hey look, mommy is home, there is her car. What is she doing?" I would have to try to explain how mommy is probably getting a lot of stuff done and blah, blah, blah! Now they don't even say anything when they see her car. A few times they would even see her pulling into her drive as we were walking back from the park, "Hi, mommy!!" Breaks my heart. I feel like slapping her! I feel like this more and more with the lies she tells to spend the least amount of time with her kids as possible! Seriously upsetting.... And now she gave notice because she is moving across town. She acts so nonchalant about pulling them, it's maddening. Her: "Oh, I know the boys love it here but I just can't drive across town every day. They'll be fine, where ever we end up" Geez, I mean no appreciation whatsoever! And total disregard for their feelings.

How sad! Those poor children! It seems there are too many parents like this today! So sad!

[julie]

This thread was so depressing.

Anyone else have the song "Cat's in the Cradle" running through their head at a few of the posts?

I wish some of the parents knew what they were doing, or missing, or that they even cared a second about how their kid feels while they use every second of care to get their money's worth and do whatever, sometimes arriving late to get them. The kid knows they are dumped and pick up on this fact very early in life. It is so heartbreaking on every level, and I feel sad for you as parents to not realize this, but even more for your kids who come to ME for comfort and understanding when you do this time and again. I comfort them, but I can never understand or explain it. I could never do this. I could never be so nonchalant about causing such damage to my kids, and yes it DOES cause damage to kids to realize their parents don't want them around. I wonder how you can be okay with that.

And I don't mean the parents that occasionally take a day here or there. I get that "me time" is needed every now and again, and sometimes that stress release makes a person a better parent. Everyone needs a few minutes, now and then. But I can tell the difference between an occasional hair appointment and "My hours are 730-3 and I don't get a discount, so if the daycare is open my kids will be there because I'm paying you", and so can your kids. How sad for them.

[caregiver]

This thread was so depressing.

Anyone else have the song "Cat's in the Cradle" running through their head at a few of the posts?

I wish some of the parents knew what they were doing, or missing, or that they even cared a second about how their kid feels while they use every second of care to get their money's worth and do whatever, sometimes arriving late to get them. The kid knows they are dumped and pick up on this fact very early in life. It is so heartbreaking on every level, and I feel sad for you as parents to not realize this, but even more for your kids who come to ME for comfort and understanding when you do this time and again. I comfort them, but I can never understand or explain it. I could never do this. I could never be so nonchalant about causing such damage to my kids, and yes it DOES cause damage to kids to realize their parents don't want them around. I wonder how you can be okay with that.

And I don't mean the parents that occasionally take a day here or there. I get that "me time" is needed every now and again, and sometimes that stress release makes a person a better parent. Everyone needs a few minutes, now and then. But I can tell the difference between an occasional hair appointment and "My hours are 730-3 and I don't get a discount, so if the daycare is open my kids will be there because I'm paying you", and so can your kids. How sad for them.

It really does affect the kids. I did daycare for a little girl years ago from when she was 2 months old until she was 7 yrs old,she is now 25 yrs old with a family of her own. We have kept in touch throughout the years, been invited to her wedding and baby showers. She told me awhile ago that she considers me her Mom,she loves her own Mom, but said that I was the one that really made a difference in her life and felt that I really gave her the care and Love that she really didn't get from her Mom growing up. Her Mom is also the one that would take me out to lunch once a year at a really nice restaurant to "Thank me" for taking care of her daughter and she would say that she was so glad that I did daycare for her daughter because she, the Mom could not stand to take care of her for 24 hours a day! Now how awful is that, to hear a Mom say that she doesn't want to have to take care of her own daughter all day and glad someone else has her most of the day. AND they adopted her, so why adopt a child if your not willing to take care of her!!!!

I currently have one set of parents that the Mom has one day off a week and brings her child to me no matter what and I will read on her FB page that she says I am having a lazy day, doing nothing, still in my pj,s
and I have her child and she is crying"I want my Mommy". This is every week I have her child when she is home. "ME" time once in awhile is fine, but it is sad to read this on FB and knowing her child wants to be with her.

I started doing home daycare years ago so I could be home and raise my own children, who are in their 30's now with their own families. I have not regretted for one minute being able to be home spending time with my kids and would gladly do it all over again. In fact a few years ago both of my kids told me that they were so glad that I was home with them while they were growing up and appreciated everything that I did for them. That was so wonderful to hear!

So parents out there if I may give you a little advice,( I know it is none of my business, but just have to say something) please show your children that you love them and want to be with them, spend time with them, all they want is to be with you,snuggle with you, get a big hug from you and give you lots of hugs!