So Tired Of Parents

[kelliott]

Not Blackcat, but have a similar policy. I've actually told my parents to being their kids to dc if they (the parent) were very ill. Most don't simply because that would mean having to get up, get kids dressed, and drive over. Easier for everyone to stay in Jammie's and chill by the tv, I guess
When I first started out I had a child become ill while in my care. I called mom at work to come get, only to be told that mom was off because her day care called out sick then I couldn't get a hold of her because wherever she had gone on her day "off" was out of cell range. The measly $30 fee she paid me for that day did NOT even begin to cover the expense for cleaning and sanitizing my carpets, furniture and toys because her child vomited all over everything. When she pulled up, FIVE minutes after closing I met her at the door with her child's things and a term notice effective immediately.

Oh, and I also told her work she lied

My contract states that I provide a service while you are at WORK or attending SCHOOL, and that for any reason you will not be at these places I must be able to get in touch in case of emergency and pick up must be ON TIME. All my parents have to initial and sign. I always tell them my story before I go over that part

nice! the least they should do is let you know where in the heck they would be! sheesh!

[BABYLUVER21]

So, I DO wonder how people manage to get their hair cut with say, a 14 month old along...what do you do with your child while you are getting your hair washed? Who is watching your child while your hair is being cut? I don't LIKE watching kids when I could be getting paid to have their parents take care of them, either (really, I would prefer that parents always picked up as soon as they get off work, too!), but more than I hate that, I hate parents who bring their kids to hair salons and other such places and let their kids run around while they have their services performed. Granted, daycare moms usually have the best behaved kids, but still-I would have a hard time believing that anyone could just park their 13, 14, 15 month old on a chair in the waiting room and have them stay there behaving.

Sometimes parents have things to do that are difficult or impossible to do with kids around (sometimes they WANT to do things with no kids around). I understand that. I have a full time kid this week whose mom just lost her job. She told me that she had lots to do at home and asked if I could keep her until she gets caught up.

I think that many of us either don't know or forgot how hard it is to work full time away from home and parent a kid under 5. It's HARD. It's exhausting. Doing daycare, I have VERY little time to attend to my own home, but somehow, I manage to get a load of laundry done here and there, get dinner made before 5PM, etc. Evenings are just for me and my little guy-mom's who work away from home have to squeeze in a day's housework, grocery shopping, doctor's appointments, baths, reading to kids, etc. in just a few hours. I feel for them. As much as I wish they would pick up their kids any chance they have, I understand why they don't...and they are probably able to BETTER care for their kids for the little bit of extra time they have to get things done.

I don't believe they leave their kids with us out of neglect, but out of necessity. And I am GLAD I am not in their shoes.

I think that I have sacrificed all of that fun stuff (like hair cuts, etc) especially when my kids were younger. I do bring my kids everywhere else though! In fact, I have an u/s and NST Tuesday. My doctor (who is obviously a comedian) said because my kids are well-behaved, I can bring them and they'll keep an eye on them while I'm in the u/s room. Now that said, the oldest is really going to babysit. She'll take on a twin and the 2nd older will take on the other twin. I will be bribing the crap out of them and if they do good, they get a couple bucks. SO, that said, do I HAVE to take them? Probably not, but it sure is cheaper than paying a sitter so I'll take them and see how they do. Additionally, it's teaching them all responsibility. Did I tell them they'd be watched. I'm no dummy, of course I didn't! I'm keeping those details to myself, and letting the older kids feel powerful. I'll let you know how it goes, and if any of them die while we're there. If not, then parents certainly should be able to take their kids places instead of making the dcp's raise the kids FOR them.

That said, if I'm a parent who is sick and can't go to work, and lets say husband COULD go to work and drops of dck, I've paid for that spot, right? Whether or not the child is there. Like the provider, who wants to be off (with pay) when sick, then I the paying parent should be allowed to be off too since I've already paid you. As long as it's in the contracted hours, it shouldn't matter. Like DCP's, I too get sick, need a dr or have a dental appt) I feel that if I've paid you for that time, and am taking the day off to do something important, then I would be pretty miffed if my provider told me I can't do those things. Now, if I'm just going to get my nails done? It would be discourteous of me to take that time off w/o saying anything to the provider. Most DCP's will work with you if you just ask, but to go get brand new haircut which DCP may just like for herself (but not get the chance to do since she's watching everyone else's kid) is just kind of wrong.

[Unregistered]

Um, actually my daycare parents are paying me to watch their child while they are working.

If they need someone to watch their child while doing something else (i.e.doctor appts, errands, etc.) they can hire a babysitter.

I disagree...
I pay monthly for daycare. My sons set hours are 7:30 to 3pm. There is no stipulation that I have to be working. If I want to go home and sleep then I am paying for that and its my decision what I want to do with my alloted time. My daycare charges by the month..there is no discount for sick days/or vacation time so you bet if daycare is opened he is going.

[Familycare71]

I used to get very upset when a kid was here and the parent wasn't working. But it really just effected me. I didn't care when they were ill (I wish I had dc when I'm ill!) or the occasional personal day...
But- I got over it because I felt I had to- I have one boy here who's moms schedule fluctuates from working 2-5 days per week. He is here 5 days most weeks no matter what. I am sad she doesn't want to spend that time with him but... I'm glad to have him and care for him if she isn't willing.
I do tons of stuff with my daycare kids- so yes... It baffles me dcp can't seem to brush their teeth with them home!
I just got to a point where it wasn't worth the energy fighting it. I get paid for my time. It is my job to love and care for them- really- the loser is the parent who is missing all this time they could be spending watching their kid grow and learn! It's over before they know it.

[Familycare71]

I disagree...
I pay monthly for daycare. My sons set hours are 7:30 to 3pm. There is no stipulation that I have to be working. If I want to go home and sleep then I am paying for that and its my decision what I want to do with my alloted time. My daycare charges by the month..there is no discount for sick days/or vacation time so you bet if daycare is opened he is going.

Personally I wouldn't care or say anything about it - but you are missing so much. I don't get angry AT you. I get sad FOR you.
These years will be over before you know it...

[caregiver]

I disagree...
I pay monthly for daycare. My sons set hours are 7:30 to 3pm. There is no stipulation that I have to be working. If I want to go home and sleep then I am paying for that and its my decision what I want to do with my alloted time. My daycare charges by the month..there is no discount for sick days/or vacation time so you bet if daycare is opened he is going.

As I daycare provider I also got upset when parents brought their child and they had the day off or were sick. I don't anymore as I charge a weekly fee, so parents pay that no matter what,even if their child is not here one day due to illness of the child,so they are paying for the week so they can do what they want if they happen to have the day off or whatever as they still are paying for my time. BUT, as a parent myself of grown children, I feel that they are missing out on precious time with their child that they can never get back and children grow up so fast on us that I think that parents should want to spend as much time with their child as they can as I said before you never will get that time back again. In my opinion, just mine now, not every parent is like this, but parents I think are being really selfish when they have time with their child and they don't want to spend it with them and take them to daycare so they can have "ME" time! If your paying for the time like I have for my daycare, bring your child, but you ARE missing out on your child's Little life and that to me is so sad that you don't want to spend the time with them for the day. They need you and I know of many of my daycare kids have said to me that Mommy doesn't want to be with me today when she has the day off, but I wanted to be with her and just cuddle and play with her. Now, how sad is that to hear from a child and then I will give the child a great big hug and say that I want to play with you and cuddle with you today and that makes them feel better. But it is just so sad to see parents not spending time with their child when they have the time. We daycare providers are raising their children as they are not taking the time to do so,which is sad. I guess I went off of the original post, but just had to express my opinion. Sorry.

[Meeko]

I disagree...
I pay monthly for daycare. My sons set hours are 7:30 to 3pm. There is no stipulation that I have to be working. If I want to go home and sleep then I am paying for that and its my decision what I want to do with my alloted time. My daycare charges by the month..there is no discount for sick days/or vacation time so you bet if daycare is opened he is going.

This is one of the saddest things I have seen written here in a very long time.

You probably have a cable bill each month too and yet don't watch TV every single second you can.

You probably have a monthly car payment and yet don't drive around all day just to get the most out of your payment.

You probably pay a monthly mortgage or rent and yet don't stay in the house 24/7 just because you're paying for it!

Yet you dump your child every second you can???

The "I'm paying for it, so I might as well use it" excuse is shameful.

[caregiver]

This is one of the saddest things I have seen written here in a very long time.

You probably have a cable bill each month too and yet don't watch TV every single second you can.

You probably have a monthly car payment and yet don't drive around all day just to get the most out of your payment.

You probably pay a monthly mortgage or rent and yet don't stay in the house 24/7 just because you're paying for it!

Yet you dump your child every second you can???

The "I'm paying for it, so I might as well use it" excuse is shameful.

TOTALLY AGREE with you!

[Blackcat31]

Personally I wouldn't care or say anything about it - but you are missing so much. I don't get angry AT you. I get sad FOR you.These years will be over before you know it...

This is sooooo true.

I disagree...
I pay monthly for daycare. My sons set hours are 7:30 to 3pm. There is no stipulation that I have to be working. If I want to go home and sleep then I am paying for that and its my decision what I want to do with my alloted time. My daycare charges by the month......there is no discount for sick days/or vacation time so you bet if daycare is opened he is going.

You may pay YOUR provider to care for your child while napping but that would be very unlikely to happen here in my program.

Like I said, this is something that is discussed in depth with ALL enrolling families. They KNOW and SHARE the same parenting philosophies as I do and when I enroll a family we TOGETHER agree as to what activities are and aren't included in their payment to me.

My daycare clients don't pay me as if I am their employee.....they don't dictate how I run my business.

They sign on with me for more than simple care of their child.... If you feel as a parent that simply paying me a weekly rates nets you the right to do as you please while your child is here, I would pass on enrolling you. That is MY choice to do as a business owner just as you have a right as a parent to find the type of care environment that you feel you are paying for.

[Familycare71]

As I daycare provider I also got upset when parents brought their child and they had the day off or were sick. I don't anymore as I charge a weekly fee, so parents pay that no matter what,even if their child is not here one day due to illness of the child,so they are paying for the week so they can do what they want if they happen to have the day off or whatever as they still are paying for my time. BUT, as a parent myself of grown children, I feel that they are missing out on precious time with their child that they can never get back and children grow up so fast on us that I think that parents should want to spend as much time with their child as they can as I said before you never will get that time back again. In my opinion, just mine now, not every parent is like this, but parents I think are being really selfish when they have time with their child and they don't want to spend it with them and take them to daycare so they can have "ME" time! If your paying for the time like I have for my daycare, bring your child, but you ARE missing out on your child's Little life and that to me is so sad that you don't want to spend the time with them for the day. They need you and I know of many of my daycare kids have said to me that Mommy doesn't want to be with me today when she has the day off, but I wanted to be with her and just cuddle and play with her. Now, how sad is that to hear from a child and then I will give the child a great big hug and say that I want to play with you and cuddle with you today and that makes them feel better. But it is just so sad to see parents not spending time with their child when they have the time. We daycare providers are raising their children as they are not taking the time to do so,which is sad. I guess I went off of the original post, but just had to express my opinion. Sorry.

[Meeko]

All these poor little kids will eventually understand that their parents want to spend as little time with them as possible......it's so heartbreaking.

I get the feeling that for many young parents, a child is nothing more than a fashion accessory. Show off the cute baby and the designer clothes. Brag about a few milestones and then give it somebody to raise as much as possible.

[MyAngels]

I disagree...
I pay monthly for daycare. My sons set hours are 7:30 to 3pm. There is no stipulation that I have to be working. If I want to go home and sleep then I am paying for that and its my decision what I want to do with my alloted time. My daycare charges by the month..there is no discount for sick days/or vacation time so you bet if daycare is opened he is going.

How heartbreaking for your child. Imagine spending your childhood knowing that your parent would rather drop you at daycare than spend time with you. Heartbreaking.

[Meeko]

How heartbreaking for your child. Imagine spending your childhood knowing that your parent would rather drop you at daycare than spend time with you. Heartbreaking.

Exactly this.

I sometimes have to explain to a sad child that mommy/daddy HAVE to work. I explain to the child that mommy/daddy love them so much, that they work hard to get money so that they can have a home and food and toys to play with etc.

But children aren't idiots. They often know when their parent ISN'T going to work and they are just being dumped.

It doesn't matter how much the child likes daycare. The best daycare in the universe can't ever replace a parent spending time with their own child.

I have some clients that have been with me for a couple years now. They just recently bought a home nearby because they want to be near us. They are wonderful clients and we love them and they love us. BUT...they have agreed as parents...that whoever gets off work first, goes to get the kids straight away. They GET IT. Their kids are happy and safe here. But they NEED THEIR PARENTS more than anything. I wish more understood that.

[LoraJenkins]

I have a 4.5 year old DCG that is picking up on her parents not spending time with her. Her parents went on vacation for over a week and left her in my care. The same time all other DCKs went on vacation with their parents. I don't know how many times she asked me why the other children got to go with their parents and she didn't. I told her she had to ask her parents. Totally heartbreaking. These are the same parents that asked me to take her to see Santa for the first time instead of enjoying that memory themselves. I refused.

[caregiver]

I have a 4.5 year old DCG that is picking up on her parents not spending time with her. Her parents went on vacation for over a week and left her in my care. The same time all other DCKs went on vacation with their parents. I don't know how many times she asked me why the other children got to go with their parents and she didn't. I told her she had to ask her parents. Totally heartbreaking. These are the same parents that asked me to take her to see Santa for the first time instead of enjoying that memory themselves. I refused.

Now that is sad! They couldn't even take her with on vacation,I suppose it depended on just where they went, if it was a place just for adult's like maybe Vegas or a child friendly place, but even so leaving her with the daycare provider and not a relative, but maybe your closer to her then a relative is. Asking someone else to take her to see Santa for the first time is heartbreaking also. That is a memory that they should have and cherish! Good for you to refuse doing it! There are too many parents out there today just like that,it is really sad to see.