PSA: Be Careful What You Say...Even Here

[jen]

I know people are very upset that someone has anonymously 'outed' the OP and turned her into licensing. I have never had a problem with OP and have actually agreed with her on many many many of her posts, although not the ones indicated.

But, when you actually go back and read her original posts, don't you find them concerning?? I mean, the one about naptime, I didn't see what was wrong with that. She said she would just lay them back down and give 'the stare'. I give the stare on a daily basis... She did say that she needs a break, but, of course you need a break when you're working 12 plus hours a day.

However, in her other posts, I have to agree that there are red flags. I know OP must be fuming right now with all of this discussion, but I hope this is taken as a huge learning opportunity and she's able to sit back and look at her behavior mentioned in these posts. She even says in so many of those posts that she felt bad for doing these things. Please please please learn from this and take time to reflect on this. I can't be the only one who feels this way...

There is a pretty significant problem that is being overlooked...

Daycare is in fact a stressful job. The majority of us work alone for 11 or 12 hours per day, often without a break. Providers NEED to have an opportunity to discuss the challenges that they face personally and professionally. Do you think that other providers will "reflect" on this and suddenly know all the answers for the problems that they face OR do you think that they will reflect on this and shut their mouth and hope it gets better?

If the troll in question was really serious about keeping children safe then the correct answer was to provide feedback and support. Instead, they chose to "out" the individual in question, intentionally paint the provider in the worst possible light, and do it under a shroud of secrecy. Who exactly did that help?

Not a very stand-up individual if you ask me, and they more likely did more harm than good. Who knows who is lurking...perhaps someone really on the brink; someone who will now just suffer in silence out of fear...

So here's to you troll...way to go.

[Blackcat31]

the op in the original post is NOT THE SAME op in post #40. Its someone doing more harm.

:confused: huh??? I am #40 post in this thread and I am waaaaay confused about what is going on! I missed something somewhere because the last few replies have been discussing where the op has been outed and posters are saying they read the original posts about stairways for 90 minutes and laying people down with the stare given and feeling bad...When was OP outed? Did someone say who she was on here and it got deleted??? I am TOTALLY lost now because none of that is me and yet a previous reply says something about post #40..... I scrolled backup and that is my response to jen about licensing here and how nice they are..... Someone explain please.......:confused:

[kendallina]

There is a pretty significant problem that is being overlooked...

Daycare is in fact a stressful job. The majority of us work alone for 11 or 12 hours per day, often without a break. Providers NEED to have an opportunity to discuss the challenges that they face personally and professionally. Do you think that other providers will "reflect" on this and suddenly know all the answers for the problems that they face OR do you think that they will reflect on this and shut their mouth and hope it gets better?

If the troll in question was really serious about keeping children safe then the correct answer was to provide feedback and support. Instead, they chose to "out" the individual in question, intentionally paint the provider in the worst possible light, and do it under a shroud of secrecy. Who exactly did that help?

Not a very stand-up individual if you ask me, and they more likely did more harm than good. Who knows who is lurking...perhaps someone really on the brink; someone who will now just suffer in silence out of fear...

So here's to you troll...way to go.

I ABSOLUTELY agree with you Jen that many of the providers here work alone, often for 12 hours/day. We NEED someone to vent to, share frustrations with and bounce ideas off of. I have worked in centers and of course the teachers would vent to eachother, it helped us to feel better and we were able to move on.

I know that we need a safe place to vent frustrations. But, in venting our frustrations if we are admitting to things that could be considered neglectful of children, then don't we all have an obligation to say something? If one of our parents was neglecting their child, would we not say something?

Honestly, I don't know if what the unregistered person did was right or wrong. I don't know the right way to handle something like that. I'm not standing up for how they handled it. And really, I don't care about that person. I only care about the poster of those concerning comments and her children. I just hope (as we all should) that things are okay with her and with her children. Really, that's all.

And, no, I wasn't the unregistered user.

[kendallina]

:confused: huh??? I am #40 post in this thread and I am waaaaay confused about what is going on! I missed something somewhere because the last few replies have been discussing where the op has been outed and posters are saying they read the original posts about stairways for 90 minutes and laying people down with the stare given and feeling bad...When was OP outed? Did someone say who she was on here and it got deleted??? I am TOTALLY lost now because none of that is me and yet a previous reply says something about post #40..... I scrolled backup and that is my response to jen about licensing here and how nice they are..... Someone explain please.......:confused:

Post #40 was deleted.

[Blackcat31]

Post #40 was deleted.

Oh, okay gottcha.....see perfect example of how things get hazy from time to time.

[cillybean83]

this is all way to dramatic for me.

We need to stop and remember for a moment that this is the internet, this is not real life, and I for one don't know anyone here personally (although I think it would ROCK to be friends with some of you in real life) and to be honest, we could all be talking to 80 year old guys sitting in their underwear watching Dr. Phil...and we really wouldn't know it, kwim? So for someone to take something from the internet and inject themselves into someones real life, is a bit creepy...the unregistered person should have confronted the OP here, on mutual territory, not taken it off the site and called the state, that is messed up.

[jen]

I ABSOLUTELY agree with you Jen that many of the providers here work alone, often for 12 hours/day. We NEED someone to vent to, share frustrations with and bounce ideas off of. I have worked in centers and of course the teachers would vent to eachother, it helped us to feel better and we were able to move on.

I know that we need a safe place to vent frustrations. But, in venting our frustrations if we are admitting to things that could be considered neglectful of children, then don't we all have an obligation to say something? If one of our parents was neglecting their child, would we not say something?

Honestly, I don't know if what the unregistered person did was right or wrong. I don't know the right way to handle something like that. I'm not standing up for how they handled it. And really, I don't care about that person. I only care about the poster of those concerning comments and her children. I just hope (as we all should) that things are okay with her and with her children. Really, that's all.

And, no, I wasn't the unregistered user.

I totally agree with you...my issue is that it doesn't "look" like the "concerned" individual said anything in the original posts that she quoted. There were very few negative remarks, which makes me wonder what the motive was behind the reporters actions actually were.

I do share concern for all the children in our care, but I do think we need to make certain that people feel free to come here to vent and seek advice without fear.

[dEHmom]

My understanding now is that, the OP of the thread is not the same OP as the person who was outed with the other thread posts?

I love this site! It has helped me in soooo many ways. And sometimes it gets high schoolish, and we all like to say things, and start fights, but that makes for a healthy environment no? Do we not fight with our significant others sometimes? Can't have love without hate, .

I think whoever is causing problems, needs to just get a life. Seriously.
Everyone of us has probably at some time said something wrong on here. And if someone is going to be a jerk, and go through every single post on this site to find those, then c'mon. Really?

This site is a great resource for parents and caregivers, as well as any other teacher. And sometimes we may not all agree, but that doesn't mean we don't care for our children, doesn't mean we abuse our children, and it certainly doesn't mean that we should have to fear voicing our opinions, concerns, feelings, or thoughts.

[Unregistered]

How do you go about changing your username? I would just as soon delete my account....how do I do that? I've went through all my posts and am not worried, but you can never be too careful I guess.

[SandeeAR]

I feel I have always been careful in what I say on here and anywhere on the internet. However, that said, I've now questioned some of the things I have said on here.

I know this has made me very cautious of posting certain replies. I have typed out at least 3 posts today and then deleted them.

My fear is, that it is going to make many of us, me included, NOT post for help in a situation that we need some. If the situation is at all boarding on confrontational territory, I think some of us will make mistakes in handling things that otherwise we wouldn't done, had we been comfortable with asking help here. KWIM?

[cillybean83]

just out of curiosity, i went through all my posts...all my venting is about my OWN kids!

[DCMomOf3]

I feel very bad for the OP and anyone else who is feeling threatened by the actions of one. I think we all can agree our job is a hard one, and we most likely don't respond in the 100% best way all of the time. If we did, I seriously doubt that this board, and those like it, would need to even exist. We all come here for support, for laughs, to vent (because we can't vent to the kids/parents and often times spouses), conversation, and, at least in my case, friendship and comradery.

As a member who appreciates this board and all the members of it, I ask you to stop analyzing of each post and let it be. I think that absolutely nothing can come from continuing to bash a member, or making anyone feel worse. The posts were reported and are being investigated. That should be enough for you who are condemning.

I hope that we can all look past what has happened and get back to the reasons we started to come her in the first place. I seriously think that dragging out the whole thing any further is not the right thing to do.

[dEHmom]

I have one question for the moderators and Michael...


We can go to statistics and see the threads started by us, and threads we've posted in.... is there a way to disable this so only friends can see it? or no one can see it?

Then we'd know that someone is actually searching for our posts/threads as opposed to simply just going to profile and clicking on them.

[Blackcat31]

I feel very bad for the OP and anyone else who is feeling threatened by the actions of one. I think we all can agree our job is a hard one, and we most likely don't respond in the 100% best way all of the time. If we did, I seriously doubt that this board, and those like it, would need to even exist. We all come here for support, for laughs, to vent (because we can't vent to the kids/parents and often times spouses), conversation, and, at least in my case, friendship and comradery.

As a member who appreciates this board and all the members of it, I ask you to stop analyzing of each post and let it be. I think that absolutely nothing can come from continuing to bash a member, or making anyone feel worse. The posts were reported and are being investigated. That should be enough for you who are condemning.

I hope that we can all look past what has happened and get back to the reasons we started to come her in the first place. I seriously think that dragging out the whole thing any further is not the right thing to do.

VERY well said...I agree! We are all friends (on-line) and can be supportive and respectful of each other. It is obvious that we do need each other so let's not let one bad apple ruin the whole bunch!! Let's choose to carry on being the self-motivating, supportive, resilient, tough, loving, softies that ALL the daycare.com members are!!!

[momma2girls]

I agree!! It's the weekend coming up- YEAH!!