Why So Negative?? (TGIF!!!)

[blessedmess8]

So, I'm fairly new to this forum and I really appreciate the advice and understanding I've found here. However, I see a LOT of negativity. I'm not saying you shouldn't disagree with someone or try to make then see the other side of something. But, there seem to be some people that want to jump in on every post and say negative things or make people feel like they are "wrong." The majority of us are here for advice, ideas, and reassurance. Advice CAN be given in an encouraging way. Most of us don't need another criticism. We get enough of that! I keep seeing posts where people ask for advice and then get absolutely put through the ringer! What the heck?

Anyway! I just want every one of you on here to know that I sent up a special prayer for us all this am! We have a VERY important and demanding role. Happy Friday! Enjoy the long weekend! (If you are closing Mon.) I know I am!!! Woooo-Hoooo!

[Unregistered]

I agree with you

I agree with you 100%. Thanks for having the courage to post a new thread on this topic. I really wish that all postings were screened for behavior. Some things that are posted clearly violate the behavior policy on this forum, but yet they're never pulled. There have been several members to say the same things in recent months.

[Christina72684]

I posted the same type of message a month or so ago, asking if there was anything good about owning a daycare because everyone was so negative. I thought the whole point of the Venting thread was for people to vent over there and not here where we ask advice and stuff. And yes.....TGIF! If only I was relaxing all 3 days instead of rearranging and cleaning my daycare

[Meeko]

A few posts can be negative...(especially from the trolls) but on the whole I think it's all very even.

If someone comes here because they want their ego stroked...then they have come to the wrong place. Most here call a spade a spade. That can sometimes come across as negative to some folks...but I think as child care providers, we are passionate about what we do and we are not backward in coming forward when the subject is close to our hearts.

I've had people agree with me and I've had people chew me out! I am better for it.

[Christian Mother]

Thank you for the prayer for the start of a awesome 3 day weekend!! I 2 am going to spend a couple of min. praying for you ladies/gentlemen that are in this biz.

I too have noticed some posts were the op is getting torn to pieces for asking for advise on an important matter. I think people need to open there hearts more and think before replying. I guess... be careful on what they write bc it can come off as condescending or hurtful specially when these people posting are really just reaching out for help. Yes, maybe they handled things wrong or just don't know what to do but that is why this forum was created. So we could all come together to offer advise and stories. For the most part people are sympathetic and offer good advise and most of all true advise such as what could happen due to a particular circumstance. And it is not always going to be good or what the op wants to hear...but it makes the op aware. We just need to be careful on how we come a crossed and be sensitive to peoples feelings.

[Sugar Magnolia]

I am a big fan of "just be nice!" How I wish the world was positive all the time, but that's not going to happen. It usually balances out. I have seen many post of congratulatory nature, some virtual hi-fives and some high praise when people do the right thing. You're right, sometimes it gets nasty. Unfortunately, trolls do happen and they succeed in infuriating otherwise polite people. I know, I got so mad at a troll during the whole 'Minnesota Shutdown' thread, I totally lost my cool. The world is full of negativity, and that comes out online too. The good, the bad and the ugly: just a fact of life. Just try the news blogs or the political blogs if you want to see what full-on hatefulness looks like. Its not pretty. This forum has provided me with helpful solutions, behavioral advice and support when I was down. I think it would be safe to say the 75% of what I read is positive. 20% is constructive criticism. That leaves only 5% of it as nasty and provoking. Not bad. I would challenge you to read the first 10 threads and their replies here today and tabulate that yourself. I'll bet you come out with 75/25/5 thereabouts. And I'm not being "nasty" IMO, just offering some constructive criticism. I like to follow my constructive criticism with a kind thought always though...and here's yours: Welcome to the forum! We do value your opinions and input and are here to help if you need us. Have a great weekend.

[Cat Herder]

A few posts can be negative...(especially from the trolls) but on the whole I think it's all very even.

If someone comes here because they want their ego stroked...then they have come to the wrong place. Most here call a spade a spade. That can sometimes come across as negative to some folks...but I think as child care providers, we are passionate about what we do and we are not backward in coming forward when the subject is close to our hearts.

I've had people agree with me and I've had people chew me out! I am better for it.

THIS!!!

I have made many changes since coming here....some with MUCH grumbling. :: My clients, kids and family are better for it.

Some days I need a pat on the head...others, a swift kick in the arse. I am RARELY the best judge of which I need so I defer to the group at large....

So far that has paid off well.

If you can't take your liqueur, don't belly up to the bar. (a joke...TGIF!!!)

[Zoe]

I am a big fan of "just be nice!" How I wish the world was positive all the time, but that's not going to happen. It usually balances out. I have seen many post of congratulatory nature, some virtual hi-fives and some high praise when people do the right thing. You're right, sometimes it gets nasty. Unfortunately, trolls do happen and they succeed in infuriating otherwise polite people. I know, I got so mad at a troll during the whole 'Minnesota Shutdown' thread, I totally lost my cool. The world is full of negativity, and that comes out online too. The good, the bad and the ugly: just a fact of life. Just try the news blogs or the political blogs if you want to see what full-on hatefulness looks like. Its not pretty. This forum has provided me with helpful solutions, behavioral advice and support when I was down. I think it would be safe to say the 75% of what I read is positive. 20% is constructive criticism. That leaves only 5% of it as nasty and provoking. Not bad. I would challenge you to read the first 10 threads and their replies here today and tabulate that yourself. I'll bet you come out with 75/25/5 thereabouts. And I'm not being "nasty" IMO, just offering some constructive criticism. I like to follow my constructive criticism with a kind thought always though...and here's yours: Welcome to the forum! We do value your opinions and input and are here to help if you need us. Have a great weekend.

I agree with Sugar! It's hard to put our thoughts and advice into words online without it coming out wrong. Honestly, that's why I use the smilies...it helps! I've blown up once at someone on here when a very personal chord was struck. It happens. But overall, it's support and constructive criticism.

And in regards to our venting, where else can we go when we have problems with so many others around the continent (to include both USA and Canada ) to help us out and give advice! I think if all we did was talk about what is going well, then many of us (myself included) wouldn't feel comfortable admitting when I had a problem, KWIM? We're all human and need to know what to do if something is bothering us.

[godiva83]

Thanks for the thoughts and prayer
This forum for me has done more good than harm and I appreciate it ten fold.
However, I have found that some people's points do tend to come across more negative than others- but sometimes that's what you get with virtual communication, ppl read it how the interpret the tone and connotations not really how the author meant it to come across.
It is in my opinion, that everyone is entitled to their own opinions and this is a great place to voice them; however, if we disagree with them we need to remind ourselves to correspond with grace and tact.
By the way what are 'trolls'

[Cat Herder]

By the way what are 'trolls'

Folks with no social network that like to stir up drama unregistered on forums and message boards.

[Zoe]

[QUOTE=godiva83;142479]

People who come onto the forum and post just to stir the pot. Not to hand out any support or advice. Basically the nastiest things that come onto our board are those of unregistered users (not all of course ) who want to anger others.

[godiva83]

Ah I see-- I am new to the forum world I will watch out for the trolls, and I think I may just read, "3 Billy Goats Gruff," this afternoon to the kids

[Cat Herder]

Oh, I wish someone would re-post that video about internet forums!!! I could use the laugh!!!

[blessedmess8]

I guess I am refering to the "trolls." I can take some criticism or a differing opinion, but I've just seen some who consitently post on people's threads as if their way is the ONLY way and if you don't do it that way, you are a STUPID head! ha! i agree that the majority of posts are helpful and informative, and am here to get my ego stroked! just wonder why some people NEVER seem to have a positive thing to say. Maybe they suffer from a bad case of burnout and the three day weekend will help? No, trolls probably don't close for holidays...

[Cat Herder]

I found it... and I never find exactly what I am looking for...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIyr5TXqe8Y

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