Parent Sitting at Home While Child is Here

[countrymom]

I don't understand this "contracted hours" stuff. Its not a sarcastic question, honestly, I don't get it. So someone can come at 6am and stay until 4pm, but someone else comes from 8am to 6pm. So basically, you have kids in care from 6 am to 6pm. Dang, that's a loooong day. We are a center, but we are open from 730am to 530pm. 10 hours is plenty, I don't know how you can do 12 or even more. Wouldn't it just be easier to have set hours for all parents? Seems like the home daycare ladies are always stressing over the contracted hours, a stress you all really don't need. Do you make more money this way? Or is it just to accomodate each individual parents work schedule? Its a serious question, not trying to be snarky. I just think its too stressful, and too much "parent early/parent late" drama.

I'm open from 7am to 5pm (I don't tell parents this) I ask what are the hours they need and then I tell them whether or not their schedual will work for me. By offering them the hours your open, you are allowing them to dump their kids off all day.

[Unregistered]

I agree... With the long day it is too much for this little monkey he is the first one here and always the last to leave- and the Mum doesn't blink an eye. Another DCM has even mentioned that he has such long days poor guy. As of today I am informing her that her new pick up time is 5:00 no later-
Any advice on how to write that out? If she fuses about that I will have a better reason to term

I have this problem right now with two parents. The truth is they really don't want to spend time with them and probably shouldn't have had them to begin with. The funny thing is you hear about bad sitters all the time, but if the general public knew the percentage of bad parents like we do, they would be horrified.

I would just write that your schedule is changing, and mention its a long day for her child. She can't refuse, those are your hours and charge her if she is late.

[Sugar Magnolia]

I'm open from 7am to 5pm (I don't tell parents this) I ask what are the hours they need and then I tell them whether or not their schedual will work for me. By offering them the hours your open, you are allowing them to dump their kids off all day.

Country, just curious, but if a parent needs 7-5 care, do you turn them away? Is there a max # of hours, say 8 hours, that you limit each family to? I have many parents who drop off @ 730 on the dot and pick up @ 530 on the dot. I don't consider it dumping, just my job to care for children between 730 and 530. If someone comes later or leaves earlier, I just think "OK, cool". Do you charge them more if they want to come from 7 to 5? If you make more $ this way, that's great and I would totally get that.

[Cat Herder]

So basically, you have kids in care from 6 am to 6pm. Dang, that's a loooong day.

It is a long day, but for Public Safety and Hospital Staff that IS their schedule...

Four 12 hour shifts on...then 3 days off. Rotating days each week. The kids were here an average of 14 hours due to commute time. Depending on how big the bags under Mom's eyes were, they would also sleep over occassionally as a Professional Courtesy (especially interns).

The rest of the crews are 24 on/48 off. I accommodated A shift and C shift since I was still working B shift.

I did these schedules for years as a single Mom.

Those fields have the highest divorce rates and are almost IMPOSSIBLE to find coverage for so we provided childcare for each other. It is not like most jobs where you get off work at the same time everyday. If you are with a patient or on a call...you stay until you are done, the paperwork is completed and your area/vehicle is turned over to your relief. That could take HOURS or DAYS days DEPENDING on what happened or with debriefing. You can't walk away to give your provider a quick call, either.

It is exhausting and constant policing, recording, enforcing and adapting. I paid my dues... I like simple, consistency and calm, now. ::

[Sugar Magnolia]

Wow Cat, I don't know how you do it. God bless you for accomodating these folks.

[MG&Lsmom]

Country, just curious, but if a parent needs 7-5 care, do you turn them away? Is there a max # of hours, say 8 hours, that you limit each family to? I have many parents who drop off @ 730 on the dot and pick up @ 530 on the dot. I don't consider it dumping, just my job to care for children between 730 and 530. If someone comes later or leaves earlier, I just think "OK, cool". Do you charge them more if they want to come from 7 to 5? If you make more $ this way, that's great and I would totally get that.

I used to do 7-5 for the same rate as someone needing 7:30-4:30. But I ran into the parents that would drop off or pick up when ever they wanted in the 7-5 time frame with no notice, or very little notice. It became to chaotic. I now do the contracted hours to avoid this. They are expected to arrive within 15 after drop off time and no earlier than 15 mins before pick up time on their contract. If it's an emergency or preplanned appointment then I can deal with one day, but not every day at a different time. I only contract hours between 7-5.

Also, I now charge for a FT rate up to 45hours per week. Anything over 45 hours per week is $5 per hour. They can use it, but they pay more. My FT rate is extremely competitive. I'm basically charging my bare minimum for that number of hours that I could ever possibly offer. Even if they used 50 hours, they'd be paying less than what most providers charge. I don't do this soley for the money. I LOVE having a full house of toddlers all day, but I also want them to have family time. They need their parents.

[nannyde]

As the parent of a toddler (21 months) in daycare--this is my take on the child being in daycare while the parent is at home.

My son is an only child. He has been in daycare since he was 4 months old--that decision broke my heart, but that's what we had to do.

As he got older, we realized he THRIVED being around other children. He is in daycare from 8 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. If I get off a couple hours early, I will go home, take care of the chores, and then go get him. it's not because I don't want to raise my child, or I don't want to play with him---I LOVE spending time with him. I also know that he loves the other kids he spends the day with, and he gets upset when he has to leave his little friends--I let him have his fun while I get some stuff done before he gets home.

I guess what I'm saying is don't judge every parent that does this--I am also in school, and sometimes I need a day off to study--and he goes to daycare, and I usually pick him up early on those days.

I have been doing child care for nearly eighteen years in my home. I have almost all only children.

In my career I have never met a child birth to five who would prefer to be in child care over being at home with their Mommy. Every single kid I have ever had (excluding children who are abused and/or neglected) would MUCH rather be with their parents than be here.

I'm good but I'm not THAT good. My kids want to be with their parents. They want to be with them as much as possible. They would never choose my home in group care over being with their Mommy doing special one to one time.

It's all about what YOU do when you have your child with you. My day care parents are so in to their kids that the kids KNOW being with Mommy and Daddy is the best gig ever.

I never want to be a provider who offers a better gig than the parents. Kids need TIME... a lot of awake and FACE TIME with their parents.

This thought process you are describing is the "get out of jail free card" of parental thinking when it comes to child care. If you survey experienced providers, I think you would find that most (not all) BY FAR would tell you that a child of your kids age would much rather be home with you "doing chores" than being somewhere he has been for fifty hours a week ... week after week.

Day care SHOULD be fun and kids his age SHOULD enjoy their little mates... but... it can NEVER EVER EVER EVER replace the one to one time with their parents. They are little for such a short time... please please rethink this.

Of course parents are going to want some "me" time. They are going to steal away a few hours now and then to get stuff done or have a little break. That's completely understandable BUT please don't think that if your child really had a choice that they would not say "no me time" for you. The parent may need that but I haven't met a kid that is in day care fifty hours a week who would WANT that just to be with the same kids he's with the majority of his waking hours. Most kids would rather run to Walmart... go to the nail salon... do chores around the house... go to the bank or grocery WITH you than be with age mates he's around so much and cared for by non related adults.

[jojosmommy]

I think there are two types of parents out there: those that want to spend time with their kids and will pick up as soon as they are off work and deal with errands/life accordingly and those who want nothing to do with their kids and work very hard to spend absolutely no time with their kids.

I have figured out I can not turn a parent/client into someone who wants to spend time with their kids. Even if I change my hours, charge them a ton, or term them.

If you can't handle living by a client (and thus being able to see what they are doing with their time) then term. I do care for neighbors and family and have my own ideas about how their kids will turn out and what they do with their time but this is my job and I can not change their parenting style.

I agree with Nannyde. If you try to tell them they can only have their kids at daycare when they are working they will just lie or hide what they are really doing. Making it impossible to find them in an emergency or when their kids are sick.

[Unregistered]

Contracted hours

I used to have an open time and a close time but I found that since I was open for 12 hours, then parents would have their kids here for 12 hours and that didn't sit well with me. I switched to contracted hours and my only regret is that I didn't do it sooner. I don't think that many parents work Monday through Friday from 6:00am-6:00pm. I put that belief to the test when I decided to go to contracted hours. I found that not a single family needed to have 12 hours of care every day. I guess that it was assumed that since I was open for all of those hours, then they were going to get their money's worth from me..

[MsMe]

As the parent of a toddler (21 months) in daycare--this is my take on the child being in daycare while the parent is at home.

My son is an only child. He has been in daycare since he was 4 months old--that decision broke my heart, but that's what we had to do.

As he got older, we realized he THRIVED being around other children. He is in daycare from 8 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. If I get off a couple hours early, I will go home, take care of the chores, and then go get him. it's not because I don't want to raise my child, or I don't want to play with him---I LOVE spending time with him. I also know that he loves the other kids he spends the day with, and he gets upset when he has to leave his little friends--I let him have his fun while I get some stuff done before he gets home.

I guess what I'm saying is don't judge every parent that does this--I am also in school, and sometimes I need a day off to study--and he goes to daycare, and I usually pick him up early on those days.

Your child loves time with you more than his friends. Every kid I have ever had that fights mom on leaving is also the one asking for her all day. I can't explain it but its very true.

[Unregistered]

Have you noticed these are often the same parents that put their child to bed at 7:00 each night!

[Cat Herder]

Every kid I have ever had that fights mom on leaving is also the one asking for her all day. I can't explain it but its very true.

Those are the ones that love morning circle time, art and story time...here.

Once lunch and naptime is over they start looking to see who gets picked up first today...

As each parent comes and goes the stress level in the room gets palpable and they get physically clingy to me.

The last kid is always such an emotional mess if it takes over 20 minutes being "alone" (usually in my lap in the reading corner by THAT point)...

I always feel so bad for THAT kid (currently "that" child is also the first kid here everyday ).

[MamaBear]

Have you noticed these are often the same parents that put their child to bed at 7:00 each night!

YES!!!!! My 2 yr old daycare girl that gets picked up at 5pm, goes home to have dinner by 530pm, bath and bed by 630pm! That means her parents spend approximately one hour with her (not including travel time) per day. In the morning she is literally straight out of bed so I can't include any time spent in the morning. One hour per day!!!! I wonder sometimes what they do with her on weekends :-/

[momofboys]

I don't understand this "contracted hours" stuff. Its not a sarcastic question, honestly, I don't get it. So someone can come at 6am and stay until 4pm, but someone else comes from 8am to 6pm. So basically, you have kids in care from 6 am to 6pm. Dang, that's a loooong day. We are a center, but we are open from 730am to 530pm. 10 hours is plenty, I don't know how you can do 12 or even more. Wouldn't it just be easier to have set hours for all parents? Seems like the home daycare ladies are always stressing over the contracted hours, a stress you all really don't need. Do you make more money this way? Or is it just to accomodate each individual parents work schedule? Its a serious question, not trying to be snarky. I just think its too stressful, and too much "parent early/parent late" drama.

I did contracted hours BUt I never had more than 2 families at a time & both families that I cared for did not need me for more than 9 - 9 1/2 hours a day. I can see it being difficult if you have 4-5 families with totally different hours but both of my DC families needed hours that were similar. I didn't want them taking advantage & leaving their kids in care simply to run errands but was okay with it so long as they picked up at the end of their contracted hours & my contracted hours were about an hour after the parent was off work so they had plenty of time to run home, throw a load of laundry in or stop off at the grocery store, etc. I would have never accepted 2 families at the same time though with varying hours like you suggested. My family time is too important to me & I would not work 12 hour days or even 10 hour days for that matter. So really I think it's less stressful to have contracted, at least for me it was because my days were shorter. I would never want to say I am open until 5:30 or 6- why make my day longer if it is unnecessary? I was always finished by 4:45.

[mom2many]

I open at 7 am and close at 6 pm. Most parents utilize just what they need and in 25 years, I have had very FEW take advantage and leave their kids longer than their work hours dictated. Most want to hurry home and spend time with their little ones, so contracting hours or keeping score was never an issue for me.

However, the one parent who did abuse the situation happened to live a few doors down from me. I swore I'd never watch a neighbor's child again, because it truly got unnerving! Dcd got home at 4 and would come home to take a nap. He'd be the last one to pick up and would arrive at 6 pm on the dot!

One day he didn't show...I could see his car parked in their driveway, so at 6:05, I called their house. No one answered, so I called mom. She didn't pick up her cell. I called the house several more times and FINALLY dcd picks up 30 minutes after I'd closed and said, "Oh sorry my alarm didn't go off and I was fast asleep."

I was expecting my 3rd child in a few months, so this was a convenient time to tell them I would not have room for their child once my baby was born. It was a little fib...but better than having any negative issues with my neighbors! ::