Parent Sitting at Home While Child is Here

[Meyou]

The open to close kids used to really bother me because I felt taken advantage of. I considered contracted hours but I didn't think it would work for me. Instead I raised my rates to the point where I still felt adequately compensated for a 10 hour day. I also raised my late fees and reduced my hours by 1 hour per day. I was 7-6 and I'm now 730 to 530.

I have to say....it has changed my perspective and my stress level considerably. I used to clock watch for pickups and now I only do that on "one of those days". I throughly enjoy my job each day because I'm not resentful of any child that is with me open to close. I feel a little sorry for them on days Dad lets it slip he didn't have to work but I really don't care anymore. He's paying me enough that I couldn't care less where he spends his day.

[PitterPatter]

A lot of dif views and hours of care going on here. I didn't see anyone mention the fact that if a parent gets free daycre due to state assistance then they are not permitted to have a child in daycare unless they are working. Does anyone have that same rule if you have state clients? Here DMC can not go home to paint her toenails or hit the gym. She is required by law to pick her child up when she is done work. They are not even permitted to use daycare for Dr Appts. I mainly only have subs. clients so I have just always stuck to those guidlines. I don't want to risk not getting paid so I am strict about picking up within 30 mins of clock out. The state has had parents provide proof of their worked time in the past when they are suspicious then they question the provider asking if we knew and remind us that if the client isn't working we run the risk of not getting paid. So it comes down on us to be the enforcers. We only get paid $20 by the state per day. If I could set my own rate and have it paid I may not mind as much.

I have had state kids in here and DCM didn't even work that day. Once a DCM even came in flip flops, daisy dukes and a tank top! I asked is she was wearing that to work (they have uniforms) she told me no she would change into her uniform at work. (why not just dress for the day seesm a hassle) Then she called and said she would be late she had no choice and had to work over. I forgave the late fee and she shows up in the same skimpy outfit. (shes late why would she take even more time to change) The next week I find out she had gone to a theme park for the day and didn't even work at all. Free daycare to her and a forgiven fee for extra time past closing hours so she could go play with her friends for the day.

The other aspect I hate is when I have DCM call and ask if Johnny can stay for dinner so she can go out and eat with friends. I tell her no it is not permitted. Then she gets here and asked if he was fed dinner. I say "no we have not made dinner yet dinner is not served until daycare is closed but he did have a snack." She then informs me that now she will have to take him home and feed him hots dogs or fish sticks real quick because she isn't paying extra for him to eat at the restaurant. That happened OFTEN!

Fact is I never know when to trust a client. It's a shame how often people lie and for silly reasons even. Why not just pick up your child you have not seen all day and take them with you? I know if I only have an hour or 2 left before closing the odds of filling that slot with a drop in is slim BUT why should I provide care while parents play and I run the risk of being questioned or not paid. If the state paid more and didn't question the provider or punnish the provider I probably wouldn't mind as much. Too often I forgive fees and DCM had been done work early and was shopping not actually working over on demand. They lay guilt trips to avoid picking up their kids. MOST anyway. Some parents cherish the time with their kids but for some they are an inconvenience to parents.

[PitterPatter]

AND let me add that I hate when parents try to drop kids off before you even open because they forgot to get gas and cigarettes after work yesterday!! I just told her she will have to come back after at 8:00 after she gets gas because I don't open until 8:00 AM! "but that's inconvenient for me gas is on the way to work besides I'm only 20 mins early what does it matter" It matters because this is MY time MY home not a drop off center. She doesn't have to be at work until 8:30 and it's a 10 - 15 minute drive! Not my problem that she forgot to get gas. She left but mad and mumbling under her breath. That is not fair that I be put in that position but she doesn't see it that way. All she sees is HER inconvenience due to HER forgetting to get gas for HER car and now it's MY fault?!

[littlemommy]

Yesterday my PT mom was supposed to pick up at 3. She texted me at 4:15 saying sorry she's late. I figured she was getting out of work late, which happens. When she got here she said she was at Hobby Lobby. I just smiled as she showed me the ball she "had to get him."

I was a little annoyed that she went shopping after he was supposed to be gone. Friday she picks up at 3 and I'm going to tell her he HAS to be gone by 3. He will be my last kid and I have things I want to do.

[Unregistered]

I have been doing child care for nearly eighteen years in my home. I have almost all only children.

In my career I have never met a child birth to five who would prefer to be in child care over being at home with their Mommy. Every single kid I have ever had (excluding children who are abused and/or neglected) would MUCH rather be with their parents than be here.

I'm good but I'm not THAT good. My kids want to be with their parents. They want to be with them as much as possible. They would never choose my home in group care over being with their Mommy doing special one to one time.

It's all about what YOU do when you have your child with you. My day care parents are so in to their kids that the kids KNOW being with Mommy and Daddy is the best gig ever.

I never want to be a provider who offers a better gig than the parents. Kids need TIME... a lot of awake and FACE TIME with their parents.

This thought process you are describing is the "get out of jail free card" of parental thinking when it comes to child care. If you survey experienced providers, I think you would find that most (not all) BY FAR would tell you that a child of your kids age would much rather be home with you "doing chores" than being somewhere he has been for fifty hours a week ... week after week.

Day care SHOULD be fun and kids his age SHOULD enjoy their little mates... but... it can NEVER EVER EVER EVER replace the one to one time with their parents. They are little for such a short time... please please rethink this.

Of course parents are going to want some "me" time. They are going to steal away a few hours now and then to get stuff done or have a little break. That's completely understandable BUT please don't think that if your child really had a choice that they would not say "no me time" for you. The parent may need that but I haven't met a kid that is in day care fifty hours a week who would WANT that just to be with the same kids he's with the majority of his waking hours. Most kids would rather run to Walmart... go to the nail salon... do chores around the house... go to the bank or grocery WITH you than be with age mates he's around so much and cared for by non related adults.

Thank you for this reassurance. I take one afternoon a week off to spend with my daughter. We run errands, do chores, etc. but also do fun things like go to the library, play outside, and go for walks. I love it but have sometimes wondered if I am messing up her schedule by doing it.

As a parent, I'd just like to say that it makes me sad that other parents do this. I can see doing it occasionally but doing it all the time I don't understand. No, I don't really get "me" time anymore, but in all honesty, I don't want it. "My" time now is the time that I get to spend with my child.

[caligirl]

As a parent, I'd just like to say that it makes me sad that other parents do this. I can see doing it occasionally but doing it all the time I don't understand. No, I don't really get "me" time anymore, but in all honesty, I don't want it. "My" time now is the time that I get to spend with my child.

This just made me smile. A mom who actually WANTS to spend time with her child. I've been reading this thread and shaking my head......I've been a provider for almost 26 years and have dealt with this myself, more times that I can tell you. I ALWAYS ask myself why some of these parents even had children when all they seem to want to do is get away from them. I've even had parents who take a week off of work but still bring their child to daycare for the normal hours. I just do not understand that. I try to say 'so, are you planning something fun with so-and-so this week?'.....no, just some 'me' time...... I think to myself, maybe it's just me. I quit my job when my first born was a year old because I could not STAND being away from him 10 hours a day..... I just don't get it. It just breaks my heart for these children

[godiva83]

^^^^
A lot of parents DO feel the same and it is great it is your 'Job' as a mum
However, there are some parents who think they need to get their 'Me' time in and good use of their $$. I doesnt bother me that they are here from open till close, no skin off my back- its my job and I love it- it breaks my heart for the children's sake

[caligirl]

^^^^
A lot of parents DO feel the same and it is great it is your 'Job' as a mum
However, there are some parents who think they need to get their 'Me' time in and good use of their $$. I doesnt bother me that they are here from open till close, no skin off my back- its my job and I love it- it breaks my heart for the children's sake

Oh exactly. I ditto that. I feel really sad for the children.

[Unregistered]

YES!!!!! My 2 yr old daycare girl that gets picked up at 5pm, goes home to have dinner by 530pm, bath and bed by 630pm! That means her parents spend approximately one hour with her (not including travel time) per day. In the morning she is literally straight out of bed so I can't include any time spent in the morning. One hour per day!!!! I wonder sometimes what they do with her on weekends :-/

Thats terrible, but I get those same parents ALL the time and most are professional people. I had one last year that told me NOT to give her 3 year old a nap, which of course I refused to do because I knew what the real story was. She wanted him to go down early so she didn't have to spend any time with him.

[caligirl]

YES!!!!! My 2 yr old daycare girl that gets picked up at 5pm, goes home to have dinner by 530pm, bath and bed by 630pm! That means her parents spend approximately one hour with her (not including travel time) per day. In the morning she is literally straight out of bed so I can't include any time spent in the morning. One hour per day!!!! I wonder sometimes what they do with her on weekends :-/

!!! Here you go.......I've taken care of this little girl for 4 years now. She is almost 4 1/2 and starting preschool this fall.....She arrives here at 7am.....is picked up by her daddy at 4pm.....mom gets home at 4:30....dinner is at 5:30 and she is put to bed by 6:30.. ... the mom was complaining to me two weeks ago that she is awake and playing in there until 8:30....they have a kiddie monitor in her room to watch her every move.....I said 'you are STILL putting her down at 6:30 for the night??' She said 'well yes, we feel it's very important for kids to get as much rest as possible. That way they are healthier and happier'.........I said 'well, if she is playing around in there for 2 hours, why don't you spend some quality one-on-one time with her and bond?'......she said 'well, she needs her alone time.'......... what she REALLY meant to say was that SHE (the mom) needed that alone time......she spends 3 hours a day with her children (they have a son who is 1 now)....two hours in the evening and one in the morning .....and the mornings are rush, rush getting ready for work....... it just drives me crazy.

[wdmmom]

Stories like this make me so sad! I have 4 kids and before I did DC, I worked several different jobs. I got up, got the kids dressed, made breakfast, took them to school at 830am, take my youngest to DC at 845am and I was off to work by 9am.

Then at 3pm, I'd pick up my youngest at DC, pick up the others from school at 315pm, finish work at home, make dinner, do the shopping, do bathes, laundry, etc and still manage to read to them or watch a movie with them or even have a water balloon fight with them.

Parents need to realize that their kids NEED them and if they don't stop to make time for them now, they are lousy parents! My kids are now ages 7-15 and what I would give to go back when they NEEDED me. Now they are in the "expect" stage. They expect dinner and clean clothes and not much else. They are too busy playing with friends and occupying their own time rather than looking to me to occupy it for them.

[caligirl]

Stories like this make me so sad! I have 4 kids and before I did DC, I worked several different jobs. I got up, got the kids dressed, made breakfast, took them to school at 830am, take my youngest to DC at 845am and I was off to work by 9am.

Then at 3pm, I'd pick up my youngest at DC, pick up the others from school at 315pm, finish work at home, make dinner, do the shopping, do bathes, laundry, etc and still manage to read to them or watch a movie with them or even have a water balloon fight with them.

Parents need to realize that their kids NEED them and if they don't stop to make time for them now, they are lousy parents! My kids are now ages 7-15 and what I would give to go back when they NEEDED me. Now they are in the "expect" stage. They expect dinner and clean clothes and not much else. They are too busy playing with friends and occupying their own time rather than looking to me to occupy it for them.

I've done daycare since my oldest was just a year old. I've had a full daycare since then..then I had two more children.....I'd work hard all day taking care of the children but always, ALWAYS enjoyed spending personal time with my own children once the work day was over. They needed their mommy time and I made sure they had it. Even though it meant I was up late at night getting things done that I could have done when they were awake. My kids are all grown up now, and I am very, very close to them..even my 26 year old son calls me all the time to tell me he misses me and loves me.... I wanted my children to grow up knowing that they were very much wanted and very much loved.

[wdmmom]

I've done daycare since my oldest was just a year old. I've had a full daycare since then..then I had two more children.....I'd work hard all day taking care of the children but always, ALWAYS enjoyed spending personal time with my own children once the work day was over. They needed their mommy time and I made sure they had it. Even though it meant I was up late at night getting things done that I could have done when they were awake. My kids are all grown up now, and I am very, very close to them..even my 26 year old son calls me all the time to tell me he misses me and loves me.... I wanted my children to grow up knowing that they were very much wanted and very much loved.

Every child should be raised that way!

[Mom_of_two]

I don't care what parents do when they are not here. If they keep to their hours it is not my business. I would not care if they took two hours per day to do house work etc. Obviously, the rest would have to be a good fit, but I don't count that as my business.


I have been lucky to work with wonderful families. It also seems like I am one of the few who has had my kids in daycare before. I get needing time to unwind, do chores, regroup sometimes. That said I also always rushed to DC and ultimately quit working outside the home to start my own daycare- but I get it. Some parents need that. I am NOT a parent who could be away from my babies but some are. It does not make them bad parents!! (Obviously, everything must be taken into account.)

Also, who knows what she does at home. Maybe she works another job, is doing work from home, has other personal issues going on, etc.

[wdmmom]

I don't care what parents do when they are not here. If they keep to their hours it is not my business. I would not care if they took two hours per day to do house work etc. Obviously, the rest would have to be a good fit, but I don't count that as my business.


I have been lucky to work with wonderful families. It also seems like I am one of the few who has had my kids in daycare before. I get needing time to unwind, do chores, regroup sometimes. That said I also always rushed to DC and ultimately quit working outside the home to start my own daycare- but I get it. Some parents need that. I am NOT a parent who could be away from my babies but some are. It does not make them bad parents!! (Obviously, everything must be taken into account.)

Also, who knows what she does at home. Maybe she works another job, is doing work from home, has other personal issues going on, etc.

I agree but I don't agree.

Honesty is key. You should know about all "jobs" the parents do...whether it be work, school, or work from home.

I currently have a DCM that works from home. Her child is part time Monday through Friday 9am - 12pm. Works great for her, works even better for me! She is here for "prime" hours. She gets to participate in all the activities, eat lunch and go home to nap so mom can work more.

I ask parents from the get-go what they do, where they work, where they live, the hours they work, etc. If a parent tells me they work 9am to 5pm and live 5 blocks from me but work clear actoss town, I say, "Ok, so you need care from 830 - 530pm, right?! I make the hours based on their need. Not on what they want. Plus I have a 9.5 hour cap per day per child.

No way am I getting taken advantage of and watching lil Johnny Boy for you from 5am to 530pm so you can have your latte, read the paper and make an hour long phone call to your mother all before you go into work! ::::