Parent Sitting at Home While Child is Here

[MamaBear]

I have one dad that does this same thing and it drives me crazy when I dwell on it. He gets off work at 1pm - sometimes earlier. BUT leaves his daughter here till 5pm on the dot. Sometimes I get lucky and its 4:59 when he comes! He is not ashamed either. He says he slept all afternoon or was watching movies or whatever else he needs to do. Also the mom has Fridays off but they still leave her here ALL day WTH?

It wouldn't bug so much if any other kids were still here but ALL my other kids are gone by 3:40 every day except her. They live close by too. It was really making me mad for awhile, but I really like this little girl and I just have to remind myself that they are paying me and they are just a "different" type of parent. I myself was the type that would RUN to get my kids ASAP when I got off work or if I had a day off work (even if sick) I'd keep them home with me... but thats just me... I actually LOVE being with my kids.

I feel your pain. I havent figured out a solution yet to this problem. Its just a plague of weird parenting that is going on. One of my daycare friends actually has in her policy that her childcare is ONLY for when they are at work or school and MUST keep their kids home if they are not doing one or the other. It sounds really harsh though & she stresses out all the time about it. She doesn't keep families very long because of it... sometimes not by her choice.

So I agree with Catherder... it will just make you crazy, bitter and resentful which will lead to burnout really fast if you let it bother you too much. Its mostly sad for the kid who doesnt get much quality time with her parents ... and annoying to me because I'd love to be off early sometimes!!! :confused:

[thecrazyisout]

This is my take on it too. As long as I have a contact number from them, I could care less what they do with their time.

I agree. There are days where I am having a hard day and it bugs me, but that is my own issue to get through. They pay me for a service. I do not judge them because I have been on both sides. I had days where my son was at daycare and I had the day off, but I used those days to catch up on rest and clean so I can have quality time with him in the afternoon. I understand it.....I know some providers think it is terrible, but I'm in the business of taking care of other people's children, so that's what I do..........outside of my home it's their business.....

[Blackcat31]

I stopped keeping score a long time ago.

It will make you (me) crazy, bitter and resentful. That will lead to burnout really fast.

IMHO, You have to decide if you provide services for ONLY working hours or open-close hours.

I don't want to have to police and enforce every minute of every day so... I stopped keeping score.

I know some deal with this by adding a price to later days and a discount for early days.

Again, I don't like having to police, record or enforce it. I don't have help and will forget.

Simple works best for me.

This^^^^. Great post Cat!! Especially the first two paragraphs!

[MamaBearCW]

Discounts...

I just wonder if you told a parent that their childcare would be 5 dollars an hour per child. But they would get a discount for when they are working or going to school. I think once I get my daycare up and running I am charging by the hour. Might hurt the bottom line occasionally but hopefully that will draw parents that want to be with their children as much as possible.

[wdmmom]

I didn't read the entire thread so I apologize if this is repeated but How far do they live from work?

If they live 15 minutes from work and they work 8am - 430pm, you tell her that you contract hours therefore the old hours where the half hour commute was needed is no longer applicable. I would send a note home stating that come Monday, August 22nd, your son can come to care 30 minutes before you are scheduled to be at work and must be picked up 30 minutes after their shift is over.

I don't let parents pad daycare time. When I meet with them, I find out where they live, where they work and what their work hours are. I then tell them that they have 15-30 minutes travel time depending where they work. That's all they get. I charge $10 per hour for anything beyond their normal scheduled hours. It doesn't matter if they are 5 minutes or 55 minutes late, it's $10 and it's $1 per minute if it's after closing time.

Stand your ground. Tell these parents they lost "their" time when they had a baby! Time to be a parent now!

If she gives you attitude or won't follow your rules, term. Someone on your waiting list would be extatic!

[Springdaze]

I honestly would love some me time, but then Im with my kids ALL THE TIME!

dont sweat it!

[Unregistered]

My take

As the parent of a toddler (21 months) in daycare--this is my take on the child being in daycare while the parent is at home.

My son is an only child. He has been in daycare since he was 4 months old--that decision broke my heart, but that's what we had to do.

As he got older, we realized he THRIVED being around other children. He is in daycare from 8 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. If I get off a couple hours early, I will go home, take care of the chores, and then go get him. it's not because I don't want to raise my child, or I don't want to play with him---I LOVE spending time with him. I also know that he loves the other kids he spends the day with, and he gets upset when he has to leave his little friends--I let him have his fun while I get some stuff done before he gets home.

I guess what I'm saying is don't judge every parent that does this--I am also in school, and sometimes I need a day off to study--and he goes to daycare, and I usually pick him up early on those days.

[wdmmom]

As the parent of a toddler (21 months) in daycare--this is my take on the child being in daycare while the parent is at home.

My son is an only child. He has been in daycare since he was 4 months old--that decision broke my heart, but that's what we had to do.

As he got older, we realized he THRIVED being around other children. He is in daycare from 8 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. If I get off a couple hours early, I will go home, take care of the chores, and then go get him. it's not because I don't want to raise my child, or I don't want to play with him---I LOVE spending time with him. I also know that he loves the other kids he spends the day with, and he gets upset when he has to leave his little friends--I let him have his fun while I get some stuff done before he gets home.

I guess what I'm saying is don't judge every parent that does this--I am also in school, and sometimes I need a day off to study--and he goes to daycare, and I usually pick him up early on those days.

As a parent and as a provider, I can see both sides of the spectrum. The only time I would go home and do a few things was during the nap time. It was much better for her to get a full rested nap than to wake her up and tote her around in a car.

It's a 6 of 1, half dozen of another type of issue.

Parents pay therefore they think they can utilize every minute of the providers time.

Providers should only be used for the hours needed whether that be for work or school.

Not to sit on your butt, have your morning latte, read the newspaper and chat with your sister for an hour.

Providers need time off too!!!!!

[Zoe]

When I was a substitute teacher, I sometimes had half days. I still took my children to the provider for the full day (the contracted hours that we set aside for when I worked full days). I did this because when I worked mornings I would get off during nap time. I wasn't going to wake my children up from a nap nor interrupt my provider's break. This also gave me time to get a few things done, but I mostly did it for the sake of my children.

I can see it from both sides. It would be hard for me to physically see a parent at home and not have them come get their kid. But I also don't want parents coming and going at all hours of my day. It upsets my schedule as well as some of the more anxious children who want to be picked up.

In your case, with this neighbor, I would be upset. So I suggest you think about what kind of stress this is going to put on you and do something to lessen your stress. Whether it's terming or just forgetting about it.

[godiva83]

Re: the parent of a 20 month old....
I get the wanting to get something's done around the house, shower, and odds and ends with out having a toddler under foot BUT when you do it everyday... It makes me question what can be more important than spending quality time with your child- these years go fast and I would never want to look back and regret the lack of time I spent with my child.
I don't think painting your toes, sitting on your porch with a latté is important daily tasks, sure once and awhile great- but hey that's just me.
;o)
Anyway, it is what it is... And she pays her daycare bill

[Zoe]

I agree with you. It seems pretty obvious that the "me" time is more important to this one.

[Sugar Magnolia]

I don't understand this "contracted hours" stuff. Its not a sarcastic question, honestly, I don't get it. So someone can come at 6am and stay until 4pm, but someone else comes from 8am to 6pm. So basically, you have kids in care from 6 am to 6pm. Dang, that's a loooong day. We are a center, but we are open from 730am to 530pm. 10 hours is plenty, I don't know how you can do 12 or even more. Wouldn't it just be easier to have set hours for all parents? Seems like the home daycare ladies are always stressing over the contracted hours, a stress you all really don't need. Do you make more money this way? Or is it just to accomodate each individual parents work schedule? Its a serious question, not trying to be snarky. I just think its too stressful, and too much "parent early/parent late" drama.

[MG&Lsmom]

I see both sides of this and don't really have a solid belief either way. On one hand, they are paying for the time since that's the way this provider has it set up (no contracted hours). On the other, we all love when parents pick up early making our day shorter or lighter or whatever and over 9 hours a day in care is tough on kids.

My issue with this particular situation as described by the OP is that they are using longer hours than before and clearly don't need them. If a child is there the longest with no other playmates, then what good does it do him? However, if this is a random and sporadic occurance, then it could really mess with the child to be picked up at 2:30 one day and 4:30 another day.

I feel that the OP and DCPs need to agree on contracted hours because it's what's good for the child and their relationship. I might present it as it's either contracted hours at the current rate or an additional fee. Allow the parents to choose. If they choose the fee, then the OP has to be comfortable seeing the cars in the driveway.

[wdmmom]

I see both sides of this and don't really have a solid belief either way. On one hand, they are paying for the time since that's the way this provider has it set up (no contracted hours). On the other, we all love when parents pick up early making our day shorter or lighter or whatever and over 9 hours a day in care is tough on kids.

My issue with this particular situation as described by the OP is that they are using longer hours than before and clearly don't need them. If a child is there the longest with no other playmates, then what good does it do him? However, if this is a random and sporadic occurance, then it could really mess with the child to be picked up at 2:30 one day and 4:30 another day.

I feel that the OP and DCPs need to agree on contracted hours because it's what's good for the child and their relationship. I might present it as it's either contracted hours at the current rate or an additional fee. Allow the parents to choose. If they choose the fee, then the OP has to be comfortable seeing the cars in the driveway.

This is a great idea! I don't have set weekly rates and base the weekly rate on the total number of hours and the departure time. The later they want to pick up, the more expensive it gets.

[countrymom]

there is a difference between doing it sometimes and doing it all the time. Its the doing it all the time that drives me crazy (now I stop it before it gets this way) I understand wanting time to do things (I have parents that do it now but they are upfront with it and only use me once a week) but these are the same parents that when I need a day off to "catch up" they will complain how they have to spend the day with their kids or can't find someone to watch them.