Parent Sitting at Home While Child is Here

[godiva83]

Okay, so my issue is with the family of one of my daycare families. They recently moved down the street from me...like I can see their house. They used to live in a few towns over with a 30 minute commute. Anyway my issue is that DCB now arrives 1hr earlier and leaves 15 minutes later so he is here from 8-5:45 which is fine as my hours are from 8-6 with out contracting hours (stupid me) so I see Mum in her driveway she gets home at 4:30 or earlier most days, and Dad works shifts very similar to my husband so I know he is off most weekdays or home before 3;00. It just really bothers me that these parents don't spend the time with their son who is only 1. I also asked DCM if her work hours changed as She drops off early and arrives home earlier- she said she likes 'her' time and she pays for the day so I shouldn't worry how she spends it- ugh
Is it just me being annoyed, should I say something, can I change just her to contracted hours?? Or should I just forget about it, like she said she pays for her day.
Also, I am one of the lucky ones and have a rather large waiting list so if I did lose her no worries- but to term over this seems too much on my part

[Cat Herder]

I stopped keeping score a long time ago.

It will make you (me) crazy, bitter and resentful. That will lead to burnout really fast.

IMHO, You have to decide if you provide services for ONLY working hours or open-close hours.

I don't want to have to police and enforce every minute of every day so... I stopped keeping score.

I know some deal with this by adding a price to later days and a discount for early days.

Again, I don't like having to police, record or enforce it. I don't have help and will forget.

Simple works best for me.

[LittleD]

Maybe send home articles in her bag that show studies of kids that spent more time at home with their parents do better then kids who spend a majority of time at daycare.
Other then that, I don't know. You could wait a few weeks, and term for some other reason. I don't know what to tell you other then that. I know it's frustrating.But you know how termed parents can be, with the extra hassles. Now that you're neighbors, you'll be seeing alot of each other !

[Kaddidle Care]

It's just different views on "Parenting" if I can even call it that. You have the SAHM view, she has the Working Mom view.

So long as she pays you for the hours you are working, whatever.

I too shake my head at what a lot of these parents are missing, but they are so wrapped up in their own selfish world to see it.

They're probably working on making baby #2 for YOU to raise.

[cheerfuldom]

Don't send home articles about the subject. Thats really passive aggressive. You already know how she feels about it. Go to contracted hours or just leave things as is. You can't change parents most of the time so just figure out what you are willing to deal with. Your other parents are probably doing this, you just can't see them.

[godiva83]

Thanks ladies I guess these types of parents are all over the place and spreading like the plague. I actually lucked out with the other parents most days zthey are here by 8:30 gone by 4:30 no complaints. One DCM even takes no lunch break to get here to pick up her son by 4:30
I was thinking of terming them because the whole neighbor issue, I have always said switching neighbors is a lot more difficult than finding new daycare clients.. Also I have never really liked them but adore their son!

[nannyde]

There is a six and a quarter hour per week of awake time service as a result of their change in locations. You are most likely really feeling the amount of additional work you are doing now. Six plus awake hours a week is a HUGE change.

They are keeping him there more for a reason. That reason is most likely the same reason this is hard for you. It's a LOT more day care. At his age it's easily equivallent to a full day of awake time day care in addition to what you were doing with the old schedule.

You have to decide what services you can offer. If you feel uncomfortable offering services to parents when they aren't working then you have to decide to make that a deal breaker with your contracts. I tried for about 15 years doing this and had SOME parents who would abide but MANY just hid it from me. If you set this as a bottom line you will get a lot of parental lying by ommission and direct lying. If their cost is the same regarless of attendance you will get a lot of parents who will just deceive you into believing that they are working when they are off.

Also... really consider if you want to do ten hour days. For me, that's way too much. I cap mine at a nine hour day. The extra hour a day of awake time is too much for my program. My kids do better with a max of nine but most are at about 8.5 total. That nets me a better day care client and an easier kid. Parents having about five awake hours a day with their kid seems to be the magical formula in my program for having attached parents who are comfy being parents and easy to work for on my end.

Maybe with these guys you just need to tell them you are raising rates across the board. There is a way for them to remain at the old rates if they would like. If they want the old schedule back they can stay at their rate but the extra 1.25 hours will be an additional 25 dollars per week.

If they agree to the old schedule CONTRACT them at those hours with a steep fine if they go over.

[countrymom]

I now ask parents what are the hours they are looking for. The funny thing is, is that when I ask them what hours, they always ask me back what are my hours, it goes on for a few minutes. I don't tell people my hours because i know that if they don't tell me their hours that means they want to dump their kids off all day so they don't have to deal with them. I agree with nannyde, anything after 9 hours is way too much for a child to be a someones home, and kids become whinny because they want to go home.
Do you have other children that are late at your house. If you don't then change your times. Acually, I would now say that your closing time is 5pm. I'm sorry but once you become a mom, there is no more "me" time, its called "spending time with my children time" I can't stand self centered parents.

[JaydensMommy]

I now ask parents what are the hours they are looking for. The funny thing is, is that when I ask them what hours, they always ask me back what are my hours, it goes on for a few minutes. I don't tell people my hours because i know that if they don't tell me their hours that means they want to dump their kids off all day so they don't have to deal with them. I agree with nannyde, anything after 9 hours is way too much for a child to be a someones home, and kids become whinny because they want to go home.
Do you have other children that are late at your house. If you don't then change your times. Acually, I would now say that your closing time is 5pm. I'm sorry but once you become a mom, there is no more "me" time, its called "spending time with my children time" I can't stand self centered parents.

I do the same thing. Most of my parents don't even know that I'm open at 6 for the ones with a later drop off. And the ones that pick up earlier don't know that I'm open until 6pm. I'm not keeping it from them, they just never asked, they told me the hours they needed and that was it. And I cannot believe parents like this. Why have kids if you don't want to spend time with them?? Makes no sense to me.

[sharlan]

That's the #1 reason why I don 't provide care for neighbors. For some reason it irritates me that they'd rather be home chillin than be with their child.

[Mom&Provider]

I haven't been offering home daycare very long, but I've already figured out it's often not worth saying anything unfortunately!

Bottom line is some parents are that way and really don't care - it's free time for them - and I agree with nannyde if you say anything there is a strong chance they will just start lying. These parents being down the street from you makes if more difficult, but they'd find way around it if they are really wanting that time to themselves.

[christinaskids]

Pretty much all of my daycare parents do this. They even tell me most of the time that they are home otherwise i will see one parents car in his driveway when we go on outings since they live very close to us on the main road. I don't really mind so much because they are paying for their time here but with one child it bugs me because he is the most difficult baby and is always the first one here at 7 am and the last one at about 530 pm. I want to tell them that I am only doing 9 hour days, but I know the dad works across town and then has to pick the brother up from a relatives daycare across town also. I am frustrated with it, and often mom is off at 230 pm and I have seen her out driving many times but the kid is NEVER picked up until 5 or 530. Should I just do the 9 hour days and tell them? This child screams all day long unless he is held and I really don't want to term him but it is very stressful on me.

[godiva83]

I agree... With the long day it is too much for this little monkey he is the first one here and always the last to leave- and the Mum doesn't blink an eye. Another DCM has even mentioned that he has such long days poor guy. As of today I am informing her that her new pick up time is 5:00 no later-
Any advice on how to write that out? If she fuses about that I will have a better reason to term

[morgan24]

I stopped keeping score a long time ago.

It will make you (me) crazy, bitter and resentful. That will lead to burnout really fast.

IMHO, You have to decide if you provide services for ONLY working hours or open-close hours.

I don't want to have to police and enforce every minute of every day so... I stopped keeping score.

I know some deal with this by adding a price to later days and a discount for early days.

Again, I don't like having to police, record or enforce it. I don't have help and will forget.

Simple works best for me.

This is my take on it too. As long as I have a contact number from them, I could care less what they do with their time.

[SandeeAR]

Could be worse. (could be what happened to me yesterday)...... If Dad is home some days, they could be telling you, well our money is tight and Dad is going to keep the kids home one more day a week. My family went from 4 days to 3 days, two weeks ago. Now from 3 days to 2 days. Money wise losing $100 a months hurts, but I know they are moving as soon as their house sells anyway.