Is This Rude?

[NiNi.R.]

Last night at about 7pm we sat down to eat a late dinner when I get a knock on the door. I live in a very small town and it is pretty rare for a stranger to just "stop by" so I just holler "Come in!" The door never opens so I go to answer it and there is a guy standing there with his two small boys. He says he has heard I do daycare and wanted to know if I had any openings for these little guys. I told him I currently don't. Let me add he was standing on my porch like he wanted to come in and have an interview right then and there but I didn't let him in. He wanted to know if I would have any soon and I said not that I know of. I referred him onto another local daycare and he left.

I just couldn't believe it. After he left I said how rude I thought that was and my husband was in complete disagreement with me. What do you think?

[Cat Herder]

It is a guy thing.

Dads get treated different than Moms very often.

He probably had "special" for so long with his other childcare arrangements he does not know it was special.

Do you have a yard sign out? Was it dark, yet?

[momofboys]

I would think he could have called you! Unless of course your number is not listed. Or at least stopped by during business hours. I think it was sort of rude.

[AnneCordelia]

Well, I get that he needs daycare and might not know how to go about finding it. I've never had a dad contact me about care, usually it is mom. I'm sure he's just completely clueless, and the fact that your husband didnt' think it was rude either just confirms it in my mind. Men are clueless when it comes to this kind of thing*.

I would think it might ruder if he insisted you provide care and insisted on an interview He left when you were done talking so that seems polite enough to me.

*typically but not always, before anyone screams 'stereotype'.

[morgan24]

I have had that happen and I think it's weird. I'm in a small town too and a lady stopped by in the evening and wanted to start her son with me the next day. She stood on my step trying to convince me why I should take her son even though he's a handful and she went on and on. I just told her I didn't have any openings.

[MG&Lsmom]

I think it's bordering on rude. I think some people just can't understand the line between business & home time, especially when you run the business from home. I grew up with this happening all the time as my father is a small town politician. Any time day or night people would show up on our doorstep with a problem they needed solving. We lived right next to the town hall. If it was closed, they came to my dad. Broken street lights, noisy neighbor, tax bill, school board issues. In the middle of dinner, on Christmas Eve, during my wedding rehearsal dinner and my brothers actual wedding. Small town mentality and probably not knowing how to go about finding daycare, like a pp said.

[countrymom]

I get it alot, I too live in a small town and have a sign out front. I have people who want to do interviews right on the spot. I have now developed a backbone and give them a business card and tell them to call me and make an appointment.

[Blackcat31]

Since I don't live in my daycare house, I don't get this type of thing after business hours but I have had several people who have randomly stopped by with their children asking if I was a daycare and if I had openings. Most of them have said, they noticed all the kids in the yard when they have driven by or have made the assumption because of how many toys are in the yard.

Usually, I just say that I am not prepared to do any type of interviewing at the moment but I would be glad to set up a time with them to do so. I either just give them my number or set up a time right then and there.

Over the years, I have enrolled a few families this way. Some have worked out fabulously and other, not so much.

As far the OP's situation, I don't think it is rude because there was probably really no way of knowing how to look you up in the phone book to get your number if he didn't know your name and daycares are open on many different schedules so he also probably had no idea what your hours were. I also think that many daycares are very open, welcoming and family based versus business based.

IMHO, it doesn't sound like he said or acted in a rude manner, other than simply stopping by unannounced.

[sharlan]

No, I don't think it was rude.

[wdmmom]

I'd find it pretty rude. It's after hours for one, for two it's dinner time and for three, you could have had a hard day and popped the cork to that bottle of wine and been half inebriated! ::::

I wouldn't want people "dropping by" and seeing me in my pj's at 7pm, I certainly dont' want anyone bothering me during dinnertime...especially when it has to do with work!

[youretooloud]

I have had that happen too. It bugs me, but I don't think it's a big deal. I would have assumed that Dad is in a bind, and was trying to figure something out fast. (I don't take parents who are in a bind)

Most of the people in my immediate neighborhood are from the middle East, and they all do it like that. But, for them, it's a cultural thing, not "in a bind". I don't mind it when they do it for some reason. I think it's the fact that a parent in a bind, is probably in this situation because of something they did wrong.

[Unregistered]

I dont think it was nessacarily rude more like misguided? I wonder how he heard about you, I would be very suprised if someone just showed up at my door with a child. Maybe he was a single Dad or something. It's good that he didnt just walk in!

[laundrymom]

I don't think it rude. I would have offered him your number, tell him you appreciate his stopping by but were in the middle of dinner and give you a call between business hours tomorrow to speak more.

I would have been relieved a random stranger
1. Didn't just walk in even AFTER you said to. He respected your home enough to realize you thought he was someone else
2. Chose to come after hours so he didn't frighten you
3. Had his children with him so you know he isn't a creeper trying to do God only knows what.

[Lucy]

Chalk it up to guys not thinking. I don't really think it's that big of a deal. Maybe he didn't have your phone number and didn't know any other way to get a hold of you. I'm not sure if you said he lived in your neighborhood, but maybe he was just told by another neighbor that "that lady in the tan colored house does daycare", and that's all he had to go on. I would have probably been fine with it. And really, 7:00 is typically AFTER dinner. He may have actually waited till 7:00 just for that reason.

[Kaddidle Care]

I'm thinking.. Wife left him and the kids and he has no idea what to do about it. A friend probably told him about you - maybe pointed out your house and he had no other information?

At least he was polite enough not to just walk in. The whole situation sounds very awkward.