Rude Parents

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

Ugg...why are some parents so frustrating!!??

Like the others, I would tell the parent you have no room as you planned the trip with who was already attending. That's the safe way to go.

[gbcc]

Ugg...why are some parents so frustrating!!??

I don't know but I am about to be rude myself and come right out and ask them!!

[Persephone]

I don't know but I am about to be rude myself and come right out and ask them!!

So did you say something to the parents who changed their minds about going?

[tymaboy]

During the summer my kids schedules differ from week to week so I take advantage too of the small numbers. If I can take them out somewhere I will. I let the parents whose kids will be here know that we are going out cuz I only have XX & XX. They know when I only have a few kids incare we will do something 'special' cuz I cant do it otherwise.

[gbcc]

So did you say something to the parents who changed their minds about going?

I started to tell one parent that there was no room and she flipped out on me. I was signalling her children out and only planned it so I didn't have to bring them ect. ect. So I just said it was cancelled. If it comes up after the fact I will just say it happened to work out so we went. I wasn't going to cater to anyones schedules. This is my business and I decide when and where we go. Not to mention my money!

[Persephone]

I started to tell one parent that there was no room and she flipped out on me. I was signalling her children out and only planned it so I didn't have to bring them ect. ect. So I just said it was cancelled. If it comes up after the fact I will just say it happened to work out so we went. I wasn't going to cater to anyones schedules. This is my business and I decide when and where we go. Not to mention my money!

So your still going to do it? Just not tell her? That's what I would do too. You were not signalling her children out. She told you she was not going to go that day so you made plans for the children that would be there.

[gbcc]

Yes, I am still doing it. I don't like confrontation, especially infront of the parents. I don't agree with that. She can call me during nap hours to discuss it. I wont speak with her after hours as that is my family time and I will not waste it argueing with an ungrateful parent.

[Carole's Daycare]

So your still going to do it? Just not tell her? That's what I would do too. You were not signalling her children out. She told you she was not going to go that day so you made plans for the children that would be there.

Agreed. Quite frankly, I have specifically planned outings for days that more difficult children would not be in attendance. I was definitely singling them out, and am completely unapologetic for it. If I have a child in care with bad behavior that makes me question the safety of an outing I exclude them (after all, I can't adequately supervise other kids while catering to a couple of kids who never learned to behave) It's not like I pretend with those parents. I tell them clearly if their children do not meet expectations for acceptable behavior, and let them know that I KNOW that it is caused by inconsistent /lack of discipline at home. In the future if they want their children included they can pay for an extra helper for the day, or get with the program and support my efforts to create some discipline,emotional control, self respect and respect for others in their kids. Special events are a priviledge to be earned. I have even charged an additional cost for my part -timers that aren't willing to pay full time rates for special events- singling them out- stating this event/activity has a cost that is budgeted for full-time attendees and can be absorbed by their previous and ongoing full time payments, you, however, do not pay those rates and those activities are not free for you.
In this case- I would stick to my guns and say the trip/outing is expensive and I only have room in my vehicle and supervision to handle the 8 who said they were going to be here and were willing to pay for the whole day. I made plans based on the number, space, supervision and group dynamics. You wanted to be cheap and said you weren't going to be here-too bad you missed out. I would not lie or be ashamed. When/if they find out they'll be even angrier. The parent screwed up here, not you- it was their choice initially not to attend, and now the plans are finalized and cannot be changed. If they want their child to be involved in daycare experiences they needed to be willing to pay the price.

[gbcc]

Some excellent points you made! The parent is making me out to be the cheap bad guy but they are the cheap ones that caused this whole nonsence.

In the past I have avoided taking feild trips on days when part time children are here. I do feel bad for that, but they only pay so much and I don't want to just throw the money back at them if you know what I mean. Do you mind if I ask what you charge to take a part timer on a field trip? I am wondering if it's a flat rate or if you charge based on admission? I think this would be an excellent thing to add into part time contracts. I do have one part time family that pays full time so they are always included. There are a few very undisciplined children that I dread taking on a trip. I might consider your thoughts on safety as well.

Also, lets be honest. If we were not cheap at points in this business, we would not have a business.

[Persephone]

Agreed. Quite frankly, I have specifically planned outings for days that more difficult children would not be in attendance. I was definitely singling them out, and am completely unapologetic for it. If I have a child in care with bad behavior that makes me question the safety of an outing I exclude them (after all, I can't adequately supervise other kids while catering to a couple of kids who never learned to behave) It's not like I pretend with those parents. I tell them clearly if their children do not meet expectations for acceptable behavior, and let them know that I KNOW that it is caused by inconsistent /lack of discipline at home. In the future if they want their children included they can pay for an extra helper for the day, or get with the program and support my efforts to create some discipline,emotional control, self respect and respect for others in their kids. Special events are a priviledge to be earned. I have even charged an additional cost for my part -timers that aren't willing to pay full time rates for special events- singling them out- stating this event/activity has a cost that is budgeted for full-time attendees and can be absorbed by their previous and ongoing full time payments, you, however, do not pay those rates and those activities are not free for you.
In this case- I would stick to my guns and say the trip/outing is expensive and I only have room in my vehicle and supervision to handle the 8 who said they were going to be here and were willing to pay for the whole day. I made plans based on the number, space, supervision and group dynamics. You wanted to be cheap and said you weren't going to be here-too bad you missed out. I would not lie or be ashamed. When/if they find out they'll be even angrier. The parent screwed up here, not you- it was their choice initially not to attend, and now the plans are finalized and cannot be changed. If they want their child to be involved in daycare experiences they needed to be willing to pay the price.

Hey they way I look at it is that her plans were canceled. But if the day comes and she's low on numbers and can fit them in her van and they just happened to all be good that day, who says she can't just go on a little trip. Last min.

[Carole's Daycare]

Last minute argument negates the initial argument that it was too late to change plans already made. But along the lines of "its easier to ask forgiveness than permission " after its done she'll either be mad enough to leave- blaming the provider for leaving out her kids and lying, or she'll **** it up and find other obnoxious ways to act out her resentment by thwarting policies.
My contract has a clause that states I may charge up to $10 per month for additional materials/activities per month, as well as any additional costs related to special events or outings. Very rarely do I need to do that, and certainly I do it more for part-timers. For field trips I charge actual cost for part-timers- so for example admission to zoo, $10, plan to stop at Dairy queen on way back, $1.50, .50 for stupid feed machines at zoo,part-time parent pays $12 in advance to participate in that outing. If I bring a helper that I'm paying $10/hr for that outing- I divide the $50 by the 10 clients coming and ask everyone for $5 toward the zoo trip, the part timer would pay $17, everyone else pays $5. I give 2 weeks notice of the day,event and cost along with a permission slip stating EXACTLY what we are doing. Ex: I give ________permission to go to the zoo in (location) with Carole's Daycare. I understand my child will be transported in Carole's van. The daycare will tour the zoo, visit the petting zoo and feed the animals. A picnic lunch packed by the daycare will be provided and eaten at the adjacent park, where the kids will play before the return trip. A stop at the Dairy Queen in (town) will be made on the return trip. I understand that even under a parents care, a child could fall and get hurt or suffer some injury during the normal course of such events. We will not hold Carole's Daycare liable for any injury not stemming from neglect or negligence on her part. Carole's Daycare has employed (name of helper) to provide additional supervision. The additional cost to me for the field trip is $_____________.
They sign & pay in advance. If they don't want to participate and they have a free day left they can use it. I only allow 3 free days per year for full-time paid in advance clients. If they are used up, they are responsible for the daily rate whether they attend or not.

In addition I use a form similar to the one we had in Girl Scouts for outings(library etc.) 1 page form for entire year with emergency info on it and several lines to put location and date and signature that can be taken with me in a folder.