Daycare Too Stressful!!

[erinalexmom]

If I got a job in my field (nursing) the top I could make would just barely cover bills and dc for 2 kids.

I have bad days and then I wait it out n have good days. But I left my last nursing job because everyday is bad and I dont for 1 second regret leaving. So, if everyday is bad, you gotta do what makes u happier. Everyone has bad days at work...but if it makes u unhappy everyday......not good for u or ur kids

Thats so funny how everyone is so different because I LOVE being a nurse and everyday was a happy one for me I actually really only did this cause I hated the hours/shifts of nursing (weekends holidays evenings) but loved the rest. I miss it several times a day

[pappyny]

I never knew how stressful running daycare could be. I have been registered for almost 2 years (but have been doing daycare on and off for years before being registered) and I'm ready to shut down.

I have 4 of my own girls and daycare is WAY too stressful for everyone here. The crying fits, the toddler battles, can't do this and that because of daycare, the messes, kids being loud waking my kids up, not knowing what my pay will be (just had a family of 2 kids leave becuase their dad isn't working right now), potential clients telling me they want the spots and not showing up after I turn others down saying spots are filled.

I just can't handle it all anymore. I sent my resume out to several places yesterday....a part of me is really sad because I know I will have to leave my own girls and that tears me up. I LOVE taking my kids to the park, swimming ect. But the stress of daycare is taking a toll on my kids and myself.

This step is HUGE for me, I have been able to be here for my kids for years and years and I'm a little scared to think about working outside of the home and not being able to do what I have been doing for them for years. I'm very sad yet the stress will be much less not being relyed on by so many.

I have 4 daughters as well and I completely understand how stressful it can be to do daycare at the same time. My husband is also in the military and the stress of that doesn't help either. When I first started, I only took one child, a girl that was the same age as my youngest daughter. I occasionaly took drop in kids, but found it was too much. When we moved this last time, I decided that I was only going to take older children and only four of them (all 4 of my girls will be in school this year). Of course, I still have stressful days, but having children that all around the same age makes doing activites so much easier. I'm not trying to help a 3yr. hold scissors while holding a crying infant in my arms. I also set my hours to fit my family's schedule. If parents need pick up times past my closing, then they aren't for me.
I guess, I'm trying to say the same thing as others have already said, make changes to your daycare that suit the needs of your family, not the other way around. I

[permanentvacation]

If you really would rather stay home to be with your personal children, you might try to figure out how to make the daycare work for your family. What time does your personal children get up? If you have daycare kids that arrive early - before 8 am, maybe you can either have them lay down and rest til 8am or watch tv quietly til 8 am - by 8, your daycare children's day really does need to start though. So, if your personal children are okay with daycare noise as of 8, maybe you can keep the daycare kids quiet til them. Or maybe you can change your daycare hours to start at 8:30 am ( get the 9-5 parents).

You can change the age of kids you watch. Don't watch the babies and toddlers. Just watch 3 years and up. Or just watch school kids.

If you can get enough income from your daycare kids, you can hire an assistant every day so you are off work early each day. Or just have your assistant work a couple of afternoons/wk, or maybe 2 full-time days. Then you can spend the afternoons or a day or two all day with your kids!

Or you could try to just watch teacher's kids. That way when school's closed for holidays and summer, you don't have daycare kids there and can spend that time just with your personal children.

As far as losing a kid here and there - the way I look at it is at least I have the other kids still paying me and didn't lose all of my income in one day - like I would if I got fired from a regular job!

Yeah, daycare is loud, and wakes your household up, but at least you are home with your kids, can choose who your clients are, have multiple clients to pay you, can write off ALOT on taxes, can (if you get a big vehicle or assistant) go out to different places when you want, can sit outside sipping your iced tea while getting paid, don't have a boss looking over your shoulder, don't have to deal with office politics, can make all the rules of your company, can eat and go to the bathroom whenever you want, if family/friends want to visit you while they are on vacation, you can visit with them while you are working or hire your assistant for that timeframe, there's sooo many benefits to doing home daycare, if possible, you might want to try to get daycare clients that fit your family better instead of going out to work.

There are days that daycare drives me crazy, however, the benefits of being home with my own children plus the other benefits that I listed above make it definately worth doing home daycare for me.

[countrymom]

I have 4 kids of my own from ages 7-13. I too found that schoolagers are not a good fit, I don't mind one or two but I only have them in the summer for 2 days a week. I like my littles and my kids love my littles too, I think you need to revamp the ages of the kids you care for.

[flightlessbird11]

I never knew how stressful running daycare could be. I have been registered for almost 2 years (but have been doing daycare on and off for years before being registered) and I'm ready to shut down.

I have 4 of my own girls and daycare is WAY too stressful for everyone here. The crying fits, the toddler battles, can't do this and that because of daycare, the messes, kids being loud waking my kids up, not knowing what my pay will be (just had a family of 2 kids leave becuase their dad isn't working right now), potential clients telling me they want the spots and not showing up after I turn others down saying spots are filled.

I just can't handle it all anymore. I sent my resume out to several places yesterday....a part of me is really sad because I know I will have to leave my own girls and that tears me up. I LOVE taking my kids to the park, swimming ect. But the stress of daycare is taking a toll on my kids and myself.

This step is HUGE for me, I have been able to be here for my kids for years and years and I'm a little scared to think about working outside of the home and not being able to do what I have been doing for them for years. I'm very sad yet the stress will be much less not being relyed on by so many.

I know how you feel as well. I go through phases of wanting sooooooooooo much to just quit, and then getting really excited about doing daycare. Right now, I'm just getting over a "I want to quit" phase and an back at it, advertising for more spots. I also have 4 children and my biggest struggle has been having time to "do it all". That includes keeping the house clean, laundry done, meals cooked, quality time with my own kids and husband, and taking time for myself. How the he%! does anyone do it???

Most of the time I feel defeated and worn before the day has even begun. Awesome huh?! I guess what I try to tell myself is that on the bright side, I do get to be with my children all day, and I couldn't trade that. I've worked outside the home also, and I don't enjoy that nearly as much as being home with my babies!

Hang in there. It is a stressful job, as I'm finding out as well. Just do what you think will truly make you happy.

Feel free to pm me if you ever need to vent or talk, or whatever! I'm in the same boat as you!

[christinaskids]

I totally know how you feel. I agree with taking an age group of kids that might work better for you. I feel the same way myself quite often and about Picked up a habit to deal with stress some days but haven't yet! One thing that helped me was just serving lunch earlier. By eleven am all of the kids are screaming, fighting, and whining since they are tired so I changed my lunch to eleven instead of noon and it's made a huge difference! Do you have one child that instigates a lot of problems? If you can't make it work, it's ok. It's not always for everyone and that's totally understandable.

[sharlan]

Providing home daycare is not for everyone. Working outside the home is not for everyone.

I worked for 2 1/2 years when mine were little. It was pure H**L 24/7. At work I worried about my kids, at home I worried about my job. My house was always a total mess and I spent the whole weekend doing laundry and cleaning house. I quit before I had a nervous breakdown, which I was headed towards.

27 years later, I still love my job for the most part. There are days that I wonder why I ever started this. 5 years ago, I shut down to dedicate my time to my grandkids. Now, I'm ready to branch back outside the family. I have a little boy starting in 2 1/2 weeks.

Step back and see what is causing you the most stress.

Is it your family? Explain to them that if you don't provide daycare, then they will have to go to daycare while you work outside the home.

Is it your husband? Remind him that you are able to stay home with your children. Point out what daycare would cost for 4 kids. Remind him that while he works a 40 hr job, you work 50 - 60 hours a week.

Do you have baby burn out? Then stop taking babies for awhile.

Is it the older kids? Then look for babies for awhile.

Do you just need a break? Tell your parents that you need a short mental health break.

In other words, find out what your stressor is and try to eliminate it.

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

I have a lot going through my head about working vs. staying with daycare.....my own girls just don't like all the extra stress and comotion and I can't say I blame them.

My youngest daughter will be 6 in Nov. so she's not a little toddler anymore, I love being here with them, but the more I think about it, I think going back to work will be less stressful on everyone here.

My oldest daughter is 14 and my next daughter will be 12, my mother is retired and lives right next door to me so I have plenty of help for my almost 8 year old and almost 6 year old so they won't have to go to daycare. I think that is making it easier to make the change because I don't want them to go to daycare and I'm in a situation where they won't have to and can be in their own home.

I honestly think my whole family will be less stressed if I shut down daycare and go back to work. I will miss my kids like crazy because I am so used to being with them, but at least I know they will be ok and not at some strangers house. And when I am not working, the time with them will be extra special because I won't have other kids to constantly redirect and we can go wherever we want to go, something we can't do now because of daycare.

[itcgnyc]

Thoughts...

I never knew how stressful running daycare could be. I have been registered for almost 2 years (but have been doing daycare on and off for years before being registered) and I'm ready to shut down.

I have 4 of my own girls and daycare is WAY too stressful for everyone here. The crying fits, the toddler battles, can't do this and that because of daycare, the messes, kids being loud waking my kids up, not knowing what my pay will be (just had a family of 2 kids leave becuase their dad isn't working right now), potential clients telling me they want the spots and not showing up after I turn others down saying spots are filled.

I just can't handle it all anymore. I sent my resume out to several places yesterday....a part of me is really sad because I know I will have to leave my own girls and that tears me up. I LOVE taking my kids to the park, swimming ect. But the stress of daycare is taking a toll on my kids and myself.

This step is HUGE for me, I have been able to be here for my kids for years and years and I'm a little scared to think about working outside of the home and not being able to do what I have been doing for them for years. I'm very sad yet the stress will be much less not being relyed on by so many.

I know that daycare can be very stressful but I personally think that if you get some good training, you may feel better equipped to handle certain things in a more effective and less stressful manner. No matter what, yes, it will be stressful, but those hugs and smiles that you get everyday certainly must make you smile! I would suggest you find a great Training Organization that helps you figure out some great guidance strategies and help with developmentally appropriate activity ideas that will get your children excited about their environment which will definitely help the overall "climate" of your daycare. Don't give up!!!
Cindy O'Neill
Island Training & Consulting Group
cindy@itcgnyc.com

[cheerfuldom]

If all my kids were school aged and grandma lived next door to help out, I would return to work too. Don't feel bad to make this decision. Your kids are in school most of the time when you are working anyway and you have already sacrificed at lot to have made in-home daycare work for so long. Having four kids that are significantly older than your daycare kids means that you are tied to the house and to the babyish activities and not able to "be there" for them in certain ways anyway. I say start looking for jobs and at least see what your options are.

[SandeeAR]

If all my kids were school aged and grandma lived next door to help out, I would return to work too. Don't feel bad to make this decision. Your kids are in school most of the time when you are working anyway and you have already sacrificed at lot to have made in-home daycare work for so long. Having four kids that are significantly older than your daycare kids means that you are tied to the house and to the babyish activities and not able to "be there" for them in certain ways anyway. I say start looking for jobs and at least see what your options are.

This, plus if you look around, you might find something that is 9-3. Depending on how much income you need. I know when I was working at a gas station for 2 years, I worked pt, 4 days a week, 9 or 10, until 3 or 4 pm. Most stations have several shifts. The college kids always need the late afternoon and evenings.

[blueclouds29]

It feels good to know that i'm not the only one stressed out doing home daycare. Although I only watch 3 young toddlers under 2 years old and all boys. They are rough and just plain don't listen to the word 'no'. I think the worst part for me is being trapped inside for 4 weeks due to the heat. But everyday i ask myself 'why am i doing this?'. And I have to remind myself, 'cause I get to stay home with my 2 1/2 year old DD!' There's no way we could afford daycare if I went back to work. I worked at a daycare and she was there too and still had to pay for her. Totally not worth working at all!
I get to watch her grow up and I get to teach her, not someone else

[PitterPatter]

This, plus if you look around, you might find something that is 9-3. Depending on how much income you need. I know when I was working at a gas station for 2 years, I worked pt, 4 days a week, 9 or 10, until 3 or 4 pm. Most stations have several shifts. The college kids always need the late afternoon and evenings.

Now THAT is a dream shift!!! I am on the look out for that! Or Parents who work it rather!

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

And I have to remind myself, 'cause I get to stay home with my 2 1/2 year old DD!' There's no way we could afford daycare if I went back to work. I worked at a daycare and she was there too and still had to pay for her. Totally not worth working at all!
I get to watch her grow up and I get to teach her, not someone else

That was the age my daughter was when I started daycare back up and got registered. It meant the world to be to be able to be home with her. Now that she's almost 6 and in school, working out of the home will be easier. Actively searching this week...I have a couple of bites so we shall see.