Daycare Too Stressful!!

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

I never knew how stressful running daycare could be. I have been registered for almost 2 years (but have been doing daycare on and off for years before being registered) and I'm ready to shut down.

I have 4 of my own girls and daycare is WAY too stressful for everyone here. The crying fits, the toddler battles, can't do this and that because of daycare, the messes, kids being loud waking my kids up, not knowing what my pay will be (just had a family of 2 kids leave becuase their dad isn't working right now), potential clients telling me they want the spots and not showing up after I turn others down saying spots are filled.

I just can't handle it all anymore. I sent my resume out to several places yesterday....a part of me is really sad because I know I will have to leave my own girls and that tears me up. I LOVE taking my kids to the park, swimming ect. But the stress of daycare is taking a toll on my kids and myself.

This step is HUGE for me, I have been able to be here for my kids for years and years and I'm a little scared to think about working outside of the home and not being able to do what I have been doing for them for years. I'm very sad yet the stress will be much less not being relyed on by so many.

[blueclouds29]

I'm going on a year in September and I hear your pain! Although i only have 1 DD who is 2. It is way to stressful just for me. But if i don't do daycare then I have to find a place to put my DD, and we can't afford sending her to daycare. That's why i started home daycare. I wonder sometimes why i'm doing this. But I get to stay home with my daughter. I'm only watching 3 other kids now, so its not that bad AND they are all boys!

[learn-n-grow]

I totally feel your pain! I have three kids of my own. I have a Bachelor's degree but I have been unable to find a job. I love kids and would love to teach but I don't have the credentials to do so which is why I decided to do home daycare (also because I can't find a job that would pay me what home daycare does). If you absolutely hate it then I would quit because the children that you provide care for would be affected by it.

And I wouldn't turn down spots until you have people actually signed up. I have had people express interest but I let them know that the spot would remain open until registration fee is paid.

[Cat Herder]

Is is possible to change your daycare to better suit your family first?? :confused:

I know I never took kids my own childrens ages and it made ALL the difference. I officially opened in 1994 and still like my job.

When they were little I did only school aged kids. We had so much fun because my kids were the mascots and the big kids loved reading to them (even the ones who had difficulty reading at school).

When mine became school aged I switched to newborn-4 years and my teens LOVE reading to the littles.

It made my kids compassionate, thoughtful and helpful people to have experienced both "older siblings" and "younger siblings" during their childhood.

At least consider it?? :confused:

[AnythingsPossible]

If staying home with your girls is really important to you, I would also suggest looking at your daycare and seeing if there is something you could change to make it work better for your family.

Are there particular families that cause the most stress for you? Certain times of the day that are worse?

I certainly can relate to your feelings. I have been doing daycare for 9 years and last year was very difficult for me. I had some families that left for different reasons, and added a wonderful new family and things have turned around. The uncertainty of income is always hard. I was counting on running full for the month of June and for numerous diffferent reasons, I ended up with 1 to 3 kids most of June, it has made for a rough summer!

The stress of working out of the home may be worse then what you are experiencing now if you don't want to leave your girls. I think in daycare we all have those moments of "I just can't do this anymore!" I know I have had it numerous times over the years!

[DaycareMama]

Is is possible to change your daycare to better suit your family first?? :confused:

I know I never took kids my own childrens ages and it made ALL the difference. I officially opened in 1994 and still like my job.

When they were little I did only school aged kids. We had so much fun because my kids were the mascots and the big kids loved reading to them (even the ones who had difficulty reading at school).

When mine became school aged I switched to newborn-4 years and my teens LOVE reading to the littles.

It made my kids compassionate, thoughtful and helpful people to have experienced both "older siblings" and "younger siblings" during their childhood.

At least consider it?? :confused:

I have been feeling the same as the OP and reading your comment really really sounds like it might work. Atleast for me.

Thank you for the idea

[Cat Herder]

I have been feeling the same as the OP and reading your comment really really sounds like it might work. Atleast for me.

Thank you for the idea

You are very welcome. It came from my Mother so I cannot take all the credit. She helped her best friend open a HUGE center in Florida back in the early 70's.

She did an "intervention" BEFORE I opened and told me the pitfalls of having your own child in care WITH the daycare.

I became the class bully and my brother became the class target (not by me, we are 5 years apart)...

It seems to be an age old trend. We were referred to as "Center Brats".

[DaycareMama]

It was very good advice! And seems to be very true about my DD also. Not so much a bully but to much of a little mommy if you know what I mean

[VanessaEO]

Is is possible to change your daycare to better suit your family first?? :confused:

I know I never took kids my own childrens ages and it made ALL the difference. I officially opened in 1994 and still like my job.

When they were little I did only school aged kids. We had so much fun because my kids were the mascots and the big kids loved reading to them (even the ones who had difficulty reading at school).

When mine became school aged I switched to newborn-4 years and my teens LOVE reading to the littles.

It made my kids compassionate, thoughtful and helpful people to have experienced both "older siblings" and "younger siblings" during their childhood.

At least consider it?? :confused:

I have never actually thought through this --- but this is exactly what is working for me right now. I have been in business for myself for 2 years now and last year I decided that I would never take kids older than my son (who just turned 6). It upset the dynamic of him being the oldest/leader/etc/etc and it just didn't work for me. (He's home schooled by the way at least for now so this may change if/when he goes to school.)

Now my DCK's are all under 3. I would take up to 4 years old, but I'm really happy with the group I have now and I'm largely unwilling to take a chance on a new family upsetting the beautiful group dynamic that I have right now.

So I guess what I'm saying is that I completely agree with this. And I have found myself here - even though I didn't set out to create my daycare like this. I have and I'm really happy with it.

[cheerfuldom]

you might consider revamping your daycare but there is nothing wrong with saying that home daycare is not for you and looking for another job. I am currently pursuing finishing my degree and will be happy to return to work when my youngest is about 2 (by that time the olders will both be school age). There are parts about my job that I do enjoy and that I am good at but I don't want to do this forever and the major factor with me plugging away at it is that we have to have this income to make ends meet. There is nothing wrong with admitting that you would rather do something else. Even when you have a daycare arrangement that works for you, it is still hard work and not for everyone.

[Cat Herder]

you might consider revamping your daycare but there is nothing wrong with saying that home daycare is not for you and looking for another job. I am currently pursuing finishing my degree and will be happy to return to work when my youngest is about 2 (by that time the olders will both be school age). There are parts about my job that I do enjoy and that I am good at but I don't want to do this forever and the major factor with me plugging away at it is that we have to have this income to make ends meet. There is nothing wrong with admitting that you would rather do something else. Even when you have a daycare arrangement that works for you, it is still hard work and not for everyone.

This is true...but I can't imagine a job that will pay enough to cover childcare for 4 kids. Not to mention being tolerant of whenever Mom has to go get them from school sick, school closures, Holidays and inclement weather.

I just wanted to maybe save a little stress?

[cheerfuldom]

yes, finding a job would be quite difficult in that case. Its just that with a larger family, its hard to find a select number of kids that are not your kids' ages. For instance, I have 3 girls that range from 3 months to almost 4. If I used the model that works for some of you, I could ONLY take school agers which would not work for me. I don't have the set up for school agers and if I did have it, it would be hard to keep my 3 busy and happy but away from some of the big kid activities that are not safe and appropriate for them. For me, it works best to have kids in the same age range (under 4) so I don't have to separate everything and everybody plus I would have to take quite a few school agers to make the income that I do with just a few full time young ones.

[MommyMuffin]

I go back and forth about quitting and getting another job, at least once a month I think about it.
But I always come to the conclusion that I dont want anyone besides me to raise my kids. I would have them in dc for at least 9 hours a day. I also know that I can make more money if I want to doing dc. If I got a job in my field (nursing) the top I could make would just barely cover bills and dc for 2 kids.

I have bad days and then I wait it out n have good days. But I left my last nursing job because everyday is bad and I dont for 1 second regret leaving. So, if everyday is bad, you gotta do what makes u happier. Everyone has bad days at work...but if it makes u unhappy everyday......not good for u or ur kids

[SimpleMom]

The first two years were the hardest for me, but after a time I kinda got the gist of it. So sorry to hear how rough it's been.

[Mom_of_two]

I agree with lots of the posts! Nice to read this for me, too. I am enjoying my job (though will say it is stressful) but like some of the ideas mentioned.

OP I hope you find something that works for you, whether you stay in the biz or do something different!

I have had a different experience with ages, it has worked well for me to hav kids the same age as mine. My girls are 2 and 4 and my 4 year old was so glad when I got a 3 year old- they love to play together, etc.