How To Take It?

[Auntie]

I think the parents trust YOU it is the public that they don't trust. Once again a poor choice of words by the father.

This man sounds like he is a bit of a control freak? Is he? That could be where he is coming from.

It is bad enough we feel horrible if anything were to happen to someone else's child while in our care. But to have those words said to you just adds more stress.

[Cat Herder]

your husband should let him know it

Yes

If he was doing alpha male dog he needs to meet your alpha male dog whether you keep them or not.

.

Unless you are like me and ARE the alpha dog...... Well, me and my Springfield 1911.

[jojosmommy]

I would term for two reasons. First the threat is unexcusable. Everyone wants their kids to be safe with another person but the manner in which he expressed that is too much for me. I wouldn't tolerate that. Second it sounds like he already questions trusting you which for me is an immediate done deal. ONE parent said they werent sure they could trust me with their child (after they wrote me a bad check) and I took that to mean that that child could no longer be in my care- EVER. Once they question your actions with their child you are opening a can of worms and just waiting for them to scrutinize your every action. If I was a parent I would never leave my child with someone I wasnt 100% comfortable trusting so if anyone lets me know they aren't 100% trusting of me I end it right then. And I tell them the truth about it- if they can't trust me with their kid then their kid can't be here.

[cheerfuldom]

I wouldn't term. I would let dad know that the comment was completely unacceptable and will not happen again. Unless you, OP, really feel in danger or scared of him. I really think he just made a very dumb comment. I would not call the police or do anything drastic over one comment. I would also take to DCM and let her know the full situation and the consequences should a similar comment be made.

[kidkair]

I had a father come in yelling at me for turning his wife and daughter away at the door for nonpayment. I felt very afraid and was so thankful my husband was home. I asked him to stop yelling, get his kid's stuff, leave and never come back. I actually shut the door in his face and locked it. He had to tug pretty hard cause one of his shoelaces was caught in the door. To my recollection my husband just watched waiting and listening in case the jerk did anything physical.

I also had issues (and wouldn't leave until I dialed 911 and his kids weren't even here at the time) with an ex-husband of one of my clients and refused to allow him to pick up again. The next time he called and said he was picking up early I called the mom and she beat him here and the cops were called to settle their dispute on my front walk.

I would term at pick up making sure to have another adult in the house with me at the time for a witness.

[Blackcat31]

I wouldn't term. I would let dad know that the comment was completely unacceptable and will not happen again. Unless you, OP, really feel in danger or scared of him. I really think he just made a very dumb comment. I would not call the police or do anything drastic over one comment. I would also take to DCM and let her know the full situation and the consequences should a similar comment be made.

His comment was unacceptable, dumb and irresponsible but it doesn't excuse it at all. I would term for the simple reason that I would NEVER tolerate a threat like that, in jest or in seriousness.

I may not be afraid of him but if I were another parent of a child in OP's care and my provider let a threat like that slide, I can guarantee you that I would be pulling my kid ASAP!!! This provider is caring for other families and their safety is as much of a concern as is her own.

[Alexandra]

Yes they are both freaks. She texts me all day to see what he is doing at every moment.

Update: Spoke to my husband and he said terminate now. Mom showed up and I tried to explain to her and she didn't want to hear it and said " I don't think he meant it like that" I said "Well he said and you're a nurse, so what if one of your patient's relative said to you if anything happens while in your care I will kill you," " then you would probably go to your supervisor and call security and be replaced with a different patient. She says... "Does this mean you can't watch him tomorrow?"

Anyways this is my first year doing it at home I've done it for years in a centre. So I haven't claimed yet nor know how to. I told she could claim it when I first started watching him but I don't know what to give her I am assuming my social, well she texted me she will not give me my last check until I give her information to claim it.

[SandeeAR]

Anyways this is my first year doing it at home I've done it for years in a centre. So I haven't claimed yet nor know how to. I told she could claim it when I first started watching him but I don't know what to give her I am assuming my social, well she texted me she will not give me my last check until I give her information to claim it.

I don't use my Social. I don't want just anyone having that info. I went online and got a EIN number to use. I would get that and tell her to bring cash or a money order for the final payment and you will give her the receipt for her taxes then. If she brings a check, she could stop payment on it for $25.

[Alexandra]

It's not fair (I know lifes not fair) but would her employer with hold her check if they wanted something in return?

[Alexandra]

I wouldn't term. I would let dad know that the comment was completely unacceptable and will not happen again. Unless you, OP, really feel in danger or scared of him. I really think he just made a very dumb comment. I would not call the police or do anything drastic over one comment. I would also take to DCM and let her know the full situation and the consequences should a similar comment be made.

I thought that at first but why should I feel uncomfortable everytime he is around or fear if something happens to their child.

[nannyde]

She says... "Does this mean you can't watch him tomorrow?"

See that's what matters to HER.

You gave her a PERFECT and I mean PERFECT analogy and she couldn't get around it no matter what.

So once she realizes there's no way out then she comes up with the "does that mean you can't watch him tomorrow" instead of "I'm SO sorry he acted that way. You have been wonderful to us and I'm embarrassed by his behavior and sad that my son won't have you in his life. I can't say or do anything that will undo what he has said. I'm really really sorry".

You gave her the gift of NO.

Have her bring you CASH and give her a receipt for the total without any social security number. Apply for an EIN and supply that to her after you get it.

I hope you are having her pay in advance... not behind. If you allowed her to pay behind you may have lost out on this weeks pay.

[Meeko]

Yes they are both freaks. She texts me all day to see what he is doing at every moment.

Update: Spoke to my husband and he said terminate now. Mom showed up and I tried to explain to her and she didn't want to hear it and said " I don't think he meant it like that" I said "Well he said and you're a nurse, so what if one of your patient's relative said to you if anything happens while in your care I will kill you," " then you would probably go to your supervisor and call security and be replaced with a different patient. She says... "Does this mean you can't watch him tomorrow?"

Anyways this is my first year doing it at home I've done it for years in a centre. So I haven't claimed yet nor know how to. I told she could claim it when I first started watching him but I don't know what to give her I am assuming my social, well she texted me she will not give me my last check until I give her information to claim it.

Really? They want to further threaten you?!!!


She is not in a position to tell YOU what's what!

Let her know that you will be getting an EIN number and she can have that when you get it. Tell her that if payment is not received by a certain date and time, you will add fees and it will go to collections or small claims.

[laundrymom]

Really? They want to further threaten you?!!!


She is not in a position to tell YOU what's what!

Let her know that you will be getting an EIN number and she can have that when you get it. Tell her that if payment is not received by a certain date and time, you will add fees and it will go to collections or small claims.

Ein number is instant online. You apply and print it right out

[sharlan]

I am happy to see that you termed this family. I've had a couple of families that tried to micromanage my day. We generally parted ways quickly as it became uncomfortable for both of us.

Remind the mother that you will get your last check through small claims if necessary.

[PitterPatter]

Ok these are the same parents I wrote about in "telling a parent goodbye.' Here goes... The mom tells me Monday she is switching next Monday for Friday and asked if it was a problem. I said well we were suppose to go on a field trip but I guess I can cancel. (He is 1.5 yrs.) Spoke to my husband about it who was suppose to come and says who cares we'll bring him along and each push a stroller. I called mom to ask and said she had to discuss it with dad. Dad showed up this morning and said no they were going to keep him home because they didn't feel comfortable. He said they trust me but not in public. And then he says because if any"thing ever happened to my son I will kill you." He said that right infront of the kids I watch and my father.

Now I know as a parent we think that in our head that if something happened to my kid I'll kill them but would you ever say that to the person who is the provider for your child?

How do I take it? I was planning on telling the parents "goodbye " when she had her baby in October but now I am thinking much sooner.

Oh honey absolutley say goodbye!! No client will ever threaten me, in a joking manner or not! AND to say such a thing in front of children. HELLLL no! It's time to say goodbye to this family. I agree I could THINK that I may snap if something happened to my chid but I would never say it! And to a professional that I have already trusted to care for my child. What did your Father say? My Dad was a biker/construction worker type that spoke his mind. I would hate to see what MY Dad would have said. I'm sorry they were so rude to u. I would be in shock but then write a term letter.