A Technique Straight From Nannyde!

[cheerfuldom]

I talked to nannyde on Monday and she gave me a couple of great techniques. This one has been excellent for us and I can't imagine that other providers don't have the same issue. Okay so when my DH comes home, my two girls (and sometimes the DC kids!) will run to the door and overwhelm him right there with "hi's" and "look at this" and that sort of attention. Its just too much and has gotten to the point where my two girls do this to everyone that comes to the door, basically rushing to the door and acting rowdy for attention. They aren't doing anything "bad" necessarily but I did think they needed to know how to calm down when people come over and greet visitors appropriately. Imagine how puppies run to the door and jump on people when the doorbell rings, that sort of thing. Okay so per nannyde, my DH comes in and greets me first, then he gives an instruction to the girls and then he takes off his shoes and gets settled and THEN they come over for a hello hug and whatnot. The instruction we decided on is for the girls to go sit on the couch and wait for my DH to call them over to say hi. The first day my older was so confused and thought she was being punished. The second day, they did it but were still confused but not upset. The fourth day (today) my older sees my DH pull up in front of the house and she runs to the couch to wait for him, no instructions needed. YAY! problem solved and this is the new rule for anytime visitors come over as well. Thank you nannyde! Still working on the other techniques and will keep you updated!

For those of you who are wondering, nanny said its important for the authority figures in the house to greet each other first and for the new one entering (daddy in this case) to immediately give an instruction to be followed that reminds the kids that he is in charge. Daddy was super hesitant to do this technique because he thought it was mean and felt bad saying no when the girls just wanted a hug. However, he tried it and loves it.

[Michael]

Nice job!

You can read Nannyde's Daycare.com blog here: www.Daycare.com/nannyde

[Crazy8]

interesting concept, not one I'd want to implement here though. In our house DH is happy when the kids are excited for him to be home. They outgrow that stage and become too old/too cool to be excited to see daddy soon enough - he's enjoying it while he still has it. But we don't have the issue with others coming in the house, that would probably annoy me but my kids always seemed to understand the difference.

Glad it is working for you though!!!

[cheerfuldom]

I see what you are saying, we just needed to reign in the "excitement" over here. And we aren't saying that they cannot say hi and show him stuff, just that they need to do it under our terms versus a free for all.

[nannyde]

Ahhh simple fixes... lord I love em

[Cat Herder]

This technique is tried and true...and in my house was lifesaving. With parents who work in the emergency/medical field this technique saves lives. Not every provider of medical services has the ability to shower/decon at work.

Adults are exposed to many things outside of the home and inadvertently bring it home to the kids, occasionally with deadly consequences. Without kids knowing they have to wait until the parent is ready for a visit it could be very dangerous for them.

Last year DH got home from work, laundered his uniform, showered, had dinner, played with the kids and was with me on the couch watching a movie when we got a call...he had been exposed to bacterial meningitis. The patient had just died, test result came back.

Had he not followed his usual routine, we could have all been exposed and required all the mandatory testing/follow-up. Dh had to do a rough course of anti-biotics.

Granted it is an extreme example...just think how many Dads work in landscaping, auto, pest control, chemical and machinery trades...the kids are being exposed to those toxins as well. It is just a really good routine to have...

[JenNJ]

Not something I would want here either. The best part of my day is seeing their faces light up when he pulls in the driveway. Like PP said, they are only excited about mom and dad for a short period of time. I wouldn't want to squash that innocent excitement and unbridled joy for the sake of order for a few minutes each evening.

[nannyde]

Not something I would want here either. The best part of my day is seeing their faces light up when he pulls in the driveway. Like PP said, they are only excited about mom and dad for a short period of time. I wouldn't want to squash that innocent excitement and unbridled joy for the sake of order for a few minutes each evening.

Yes if they can have the unbridled joy a few minutes for their one Daddy.

It's when it is with everyone who walks thru the door and it lasts for many minutes that it needs to be dealt with differently.

This is a very very common issue with home day care. It's a simple fix that takes just a minute and keeps everyone steady and the energy calm.

[dEHmom]

I don't have a problem with the kids being excited to see someone and want to give hugs. But I have 3 kids of my own, and 2 dogs, that all want IMMEDIATE attention hugs kisses, jump up in peoples arms, etc. It's complete chaos when someone comes for a visit. Including one of my dcd's. My kids love him to pieces because he will always stop and play ball, watch them ride their bikes, throw frisby etc. He loves doing it with my kids, but kids don't understand that 3 people (4 including his son!) chatting at the same time, all dying for the attention is overwhelming.

It's difficult for me to let dcd know about dcb's day, etc, when I've got to wait for a moment when the kids calm down.

So once again, if you don't have a crowd of kids all demanding attention at the same time, it's not an issue. My kids will always run up to the gate at the kitchen/living doorway and wait for daddy to come in. But when the gate is down, or open, they charge the backdoor. The dogs get excited and then now there's kids and dogs demanding attention. It truly can be chaos.

I've explained to my kids many many times, to sit on the couch and be quiet. That they can say hi and answer any questions that people ask, but dcd/dcm doesn't need to know that dcb cried all day, or spilled a drink. I've even resorted to sending them outside, or to their rooms because they just can't seem to remember that it's my turn to talk, not theirs.

[cheerfuldom]

Its not just the few minutes that we are needing, the technique sets up a structure for the rest of the evening. Previously they would get all hyped up when daddy came home and it could take a LONG time to reign that all in and get back in control, sometimes the transition of daddy coming home would send the kids into a rowdy excitement that lasted till bedtime. I realize this isn't for everyone but I posted to those that might find it helpful. Its not really a debate on should I or should I not do it....its more of I am doing it and it works and might work for someone else.

[littlemissmuffet]

interesting concept, not one I'd want to implement here though. In our house DH is happy when the kids are excited for him to be home. They outgrow that stage and become too old/too cool to be excited to see daddy soon enough - he's enjoying it while he still has it. But we don't have the issue with others coming in the house, that would probably annoy me but my kids always seemed to understand the difference.

Glad it is working for you though!!!

Same here. The hubs loves having all the kids run up and line up for hugs and kisses and "how was your day"s

But in your case, I am happy you found some sound advice that is working

[Meeko]

We make sure that the kids are in a different area when the doorbell goes. If not, we get a rush for the door and it's chaos. I know each child wants to see if it's THEIR mom, but my rule is that they do NOT interrupt at the door. I have 16 kids. NOT a number I want at the front door!

[MarinaVanessa]

Hmm, I'm having this problem with my own DD (6yo). It's not just attention from my DH but with all of the DCP's that come in. I'm going to tell my DH and try this out also. Will this work with the DCP's too, I'm assuming that I'll have to talk to them about it so that they'll do the same and give her the instruction.

[cheerfuldom]

I wouldn't let the DC parents give my own child an instruction, in this case I would instruct her right before the parents come in (which is what I have been doing). Am I right on that nanny?

[MarinaVanessa]

I wouldn't let the DC parents give my own child an instruction, in this case I would instruct her right before the parents come in (which is what I have been doing). Am I right on that nanny?

I already do that but it seems that as soon as the parent walks in the door everything that I just told her flies out the window. She's either trying to talk to the DCM and jumps around excitedly or she's going back and forth between DCM and I while we are trying to talk. We can't even say hi to each other before DD is overexcited and trying to get DCP's attention. It's embarrassing to have to stop in the middle of saying hi to excuse myself and talk her down and tell her to wait her turn. I was wondering if having the parents actually be the ones to tell her would make it any easier. I go through this at least 8 times a day so in essence I am actually talking to her about it 16 times a day (before they come in and once the come in) and yes I tell her each and every time. Sometimes I have to physically remove her from the DCP's immediate vicinity, turn her to have her look at me, slowly and firmly tell her she needs to wait (while still holding her so that she doesn't just run back over to DCP's) and then physically walk her to the couch, or step, or chair and make her sit down.