Sports And How They Affect Your Daycare, Home Life, Etc.

[wdmmom]

This is a little off topic but I'm looking for all types of opinions/advice/suggestions.

I have 4 kids...3 girls, 1 boy. My son is 10 and is wanting to join football in the autumn. At first I thought it was great that he wanted to be active, play a sport, ect. but looking at this further has lead me to believe it would be more of a nuisance than it's worth.

Not only is there a practice once or twice a week in the week (usually at 530pm) but there is a game EVERY Saturday or Sunday and they are all between 345pm and 730pm!

I like to spend my weekends cleaning, relaxing, planning upcoming events for daycare, grocery shopping, etc.

Is it selfish of me to not want him to do this?!

Not only do I find myself feeling exhausted already just thinking about it but not 2 of the 3 girls are harping me that they now want to do something too!

To be completely honest, I don't see us having the money to enroll 3 of the 4 kids, I don't like to drive and I would be forced to take them here, there and everywhere, and I would have to pretty much keep every weekend open. That would mean not seeing my family for 9 solid weeks as well.

Keep in mind that I come from a family that sports weren't an option nor were they ever introduced. I asked to be in several things as a child (gymnastics, cheer leading, etc.) The only choice I got was to be in band.

I don't want to hold my kids back but I do think that they are too young. At the same time, any activity would put a hinder on my job and on my life in general and I'm the type that thrives on structure.

Any suggestions?!

[jen]

Personally, I think extra-curriculars are really important. While we don't insist on a sport, we do insist that our kids participate in something. Honestly, I would rather that they stay busy and out of trouble.

As far as too young goes, well...sports are generally pretty competitive and kids start pretty young. I don't know how old your girls are, but your son is definitely not too young. Have you checked in to community education? Our offers a variety of sports and activities at affordable rates.

[JenNJ]

I think sports and other organized peer groups are REALLY important in promoting self confidence, responsibility, teamwork, goal setting, etc. I encourage my kids to join sports and other organized groups that appeal to their interests and passions.

My son is now 5 and has already participated in soccer and t-ball in the past year. My daughter is 2.5 will be joining a dance class as soon as she is 3. I personally think it is a parental responsibility to encourage things like this and yes, give up your weekends to shuttle them around. If you want to make it easier on yourself, you can try and set up a carpool with another parent/s to relieve some of the burden.

If your kids are old enough, have them save some money by earning an allowance with chores around the house. Have them contribute to the cost of these programs.

[Crazy8]

I agree with the above. Of course you have those who over schedule their children in every activity under the sun.

I have 3 kids of my own (ages 5 - 12) and they all participate in something. Yes, it means my nights and weekends are busy but they enjoy doing what they do and I actually enjoy watching them. Does it make the rest of my life more hectic? definitely. But I figured that's just part of being a mom to 3 active kids!

[sharlan]

I left it up to my daughters whether or not they joined Girl Scouts or sports.

I was able to work the daycare around their activities. The parents knew I would be gone from this time to this time. I didn't mind the driving.

[pfund2233]

Where is dad at? Can't he help you out? I have two daughters. The oldest (8) is in Soccer and dance and the youngest (5) is in Softball and dance. Soccer is Monday nights at 6pm, Ballet is Tuesday 630pm, Wednesday is Softball 530pm, Thursday is Soccer again at 6pm, Friday NOTHING , Saturday soccer 9am and Sunday NOTHING. I'm super busy too but want my kids to do thing I didn't get the chance to do. It don't matter how tired I am and how much I would like to stay home... it's what I signed up for when I decided to have kids. Don't discourage them to NOT do something because it's not convenient for you. This stuff keeps kids happy, healthy and outta trouble. GOOD LUCK!!

[Meeko]

Have you looked into car pooling? Sharing the running around makes life MUCH easier!

[daysofelijah]

My boys do two sports each year. They are 6 and 8 and we have been doing sports since the oldest was 5. When we started doing sports I changed my closing time to 5:15 because some practices do start at 5:30. It does get expensive with two boys, but it's worth it imo.

I think team sports are pretty important, but my boys are also homeschooled so they don't get that in the school day. Practices are really only two days a week which for us is a good reason to get out of the house, especially in the winter. Games or meets (football and wrestling) are generally Saturday mornings, so we still have afternoons free. I can see how the afternoon games would be hard to deal with, but it's not long term.

I think you should give it a try and give your son the option of doing it. It's good experience, esp at his age. I look forward to starting my dd (3) in gymnastics in the next year or two and hope she loves it. I never got to do gymnastics as a kid and have always regretted it.

[momma2girls]

I feel this is very important as well. My daughter has played softball for 5 yr. now, and she loves it!!
This is one of the main reasons for closing at 4:30, so I can make it to all her games, swimming lessons, etc.. on time, and do not miss out on anything!!

[daycare]

I have been working with kids for a very long time, I used to teach youth sports and I feel that it is very important part of your childs life.

Not only does it teach them how to work together as a team and help then build confidence, it also keeps them out of trouble when trying to find something to do when they are bored. It also teaches them to stand by their commitments that they make.

I was a single mom for a long time and had both of my kids in sports. I found that signing your child up with a friend always worked out really well. I would always do a ride share with my kids. Usually I did the pick up after practice and did this with both of my kids.

Sometimes we had several parents in on the ride share that I would only pick up once a week.

As for the games, your family will learn to love going. You will make an event out of it by packing picnic lunches or dinners and having a balst spending time together outside of the home.

Both of my kids are still very active. NO matter what, I make every practice and every game. But they are older now so they usually practice later in the evening. I enjoy watching them do what they love and I could be more proud.
BTW all 3 of my kids are involved in 3 plus activities a week........
My adivce is to find a ride share.

[wdmmom]

Where is dad at? Can't he help you out? I have two daughters. The oldest (8) is in Soccer and dance and the youngest (5) is in Softball and dance. Soccer is Monday nights at 6pm, Ballet is Tuesday 630pm, Wednesday is Softball 530pm, Thursday is Soccer again at 6pm, Friday NOTHING , Saturday soccer 9am and Sunday NOTHING. I'm super busy too but want my kids to do thing I didn't get the chance to do. It don't matter how tired I am and how much I would like to stay home... it's what I signed up for when I decided to have kids. Don't discourage them to NOT do something because it's not convenient for you. This stuff keeps kids happy, healthy and outta trouble. GOOD LUCK!!

Dad is not in the picture. Step dad has his own child in hockey and that is usually 3 nights a week so the chance of him being able to help is slim not to mention I'm not the type to ask for help.

I don't like to drive and I have a huge anxiety issue when leaving the house. (That's why I work from home! ) People in our community are very hoity toity and competitive. I think kids sports should be more of a fun and educational experience not hooting and hollaring and yelling.

I'm having a really hard time getting out of my comfort zone on this....

[sharlan]

Please don't take this wrong, it's not meant to upset. BUT, STEPFATHER has chosen to be the father figure to these children. He's made that choice, not them. If he has the time to interact with "his" son, he needs to make the time to help with "your" children as well.

Your children see their stepbrother getting to do things, why can't they?

As someone else said, try signing your son up with a friend and ask the other parents to share carpooling.

[daycare]

Dad is not in the picture. Step dad has his own child in hockey and that is usually 3 nights a week so the chance of him being able to help is slim not to mention I'm not the type to ask for help.

I don't like to drive and I have a huge anxiety issue when leaving the house. (That's why I work from home! ) People in our community are very hoity toity and competitive. I think kids sports should be more of a fun and educational experience not hooting and hollaring and yelling.

I'm having a really hard time getting out of my comfort zone on this....

I feel you on this and i think that if you prep your child about it being fun and remind them that its about fun then that is what it will be..
I tell my kids win or lose no matter what as long as you are having fun is all that matters

I do agree with what you are saying, as my sons football team went to flordia to compete in the pop warner ESPN orange bowl at age 10.... The coaches were over the top crazy that I think they took a lot of the fun out of it. I almost pulled my son off the team that year, but he wanted to stay and said that he could deal with the coaches that it didnt bother him.

Just like everything in your life, you have to make a habit of it. Once you start doing it, you will make a habit of it and it will get easy for you..

Again ride share would be a smart way to go..

[jen]

Dad is not in the picture. Step dad has his own child in hockey and that is usually 3 nights a week so the chance of him being able to help is slim not to mention I'm not the type to ask for help.

I don't like to drive and I have a huge anxiety issue when leaving the house. (That's why I work from home! ) People in our community are very hoity toity and competitive. I think kids sports should be more of a fun and educational experience not hooting and hollaring and yelling.

I'm having a really hard time getting out of my comfort zone on this....

I totally understand anxiety issues and how they can impact your life. Have you considered getting some help so that you can effectively deal with them? When you have an issue such as anxiety and its reaching a point that it is effecting your parenting, I would definitely suggest consulting a professional.

[wdmmom]

Please don't take this wrong, it's not meant to upset. BUT, STEPFATHER has chosen to be the father figure to these children. He's made that choice, not them. If he has the time to interact with "his" son, he needs to make the time to help with "your" children as well.

Your children see their stepbrother getting to do things, why can't they?

As someone else said, try signing your son up with a friend and ask the other parents to share carpooling.

Step brother lived with grandma up until a year ago so we've never really gotten to "see" him do much...not that we were very interested anyway.

And, it's not step father, it's me. I don't want him taking on the roll of father. I have been their mother and father for years and when I got into a relationship with him, I didn't do it to find a suitable father for my kids. I have been doing it on my own for years and I don't like asking for help. I learned to adapt when I got divorced and still live that way.

I don't have many friends, but the ones I do have don't have kids my age.

You guys all make valid points and I respect that but between the anxiety, the lack of help and going out of my comfort zone, this is really too much! I have a guy friend that offered to take him to all his games but then I feel guilty if I'm not there.

It's a 6 of 1, 1/2 dozen of another situation.