Major Loss In My Family

[dEHmom]

Ok, I think it's too late to suggest this, but I am going to anyway....

First off I'm so sorry to hear of the loss. It's not easy losing someone. Hugs to you!


My suggestion would've been, that because she watched the children in your home, likely with your food fed to them, etc, and because she didn't have to cover any overhead, I would've paid her a portion of the fees. That way you weren't taking a big hit, but she was being paid for services.

Just for future reference for anyone who might be in this same situation, they are just a fill in, like an assistant, and you still have to cover the overhead. OR next time, if she is filling in, then let it be at her home.

Also, I would suggest maintaining that you still have those personal paid days to use, since they did not pay you for those days yet. You can use them at another point this year.

[daycare]

Ok, I think it's too late to suggest this, but I am going to anyway....

First off I'm so sorry to hear of the loss. It's not easy losing someone. Hugs to you!


My suggestion would've been, that because she watched the children in your home, likely with your food fed to them, etc, and because she didn't have to cover any overhead, I would've paid her a portion of the fees. That way you weren't taking a big hit, but she was being paid for services.

Just for future reference for anyone who might be in this same situation, they are just a fill in, like an assistant, and you still have to cover the overhead. OR next time, if she is filling in, then let it be at her home.

Also, I would suggest maintaining that you still have those personal paid days to use, since they did not pay you for those days yet. You can use them at another point this year.

Also, I would suggest maintaining that you still have those personal paid days to use, since they did not pay you for those days yet. You can use them at another point this year.

I think that is a great way of seeing the positive side of this...

[Meeko]

This is why I do not solve the problem of alternative care/back up care for my daycare parents. I believe I have gotten burned almost every time when I go the extra mile. Now I just close if I need to close (which is almost never) and let them deal with it. My contract clearly states what I am allowed and lets the parents know that I do not provide back up care.

Same here. Parents are responsible for finding alternate care if need be.

[Meeko]

My father died 17 days ago. I'm just now starting to come out of my fog. It was a Tuesday morning, and I arranged to fly out of state that evening, leaving my house at 4:00 pm and my husband finished the day for me. I took off three days (was with mom from Tuesday night until Sunday night). I flew back again the next weekend for the memorial service, but I left Friday night and came home Sunday night. So I took THREE days off. I feel like it's their responsibility to find alternate care. I never offer it. They pay me a set amount per month, and I do not deduct for anything, so I got paid for those 3 days. Nobody even questioned it. One mom gave me a hug, and a card when I came back, another gave me some rum and pina colada mix because we texted back and forth while I was at mom's and I said I could use one about now! They were great about it.

So sorry for your loss. You didn't say what relative, but for me - losing Dad was the saddest day of my life. He wasn't even sick. Just went to bed and didn't wake up.

So sorry for your loss Joyce. My dad lives in the UK and I am in the US. He is 80 years old. I miss him so much......and I know he is his twilight years......but we are blessed to have father's we love dearly. I know yours watching over you xx

[Meeko]

Tried to take personal days for myself, but also had a friend who is licensed but not still watching kids stay in my home to watch kids if people didn't have someone else. I told them I would be taking personal days for the ones gone, so they would be responsible for paying me, and paying my alternate if they chose to use her. Three families chose to use her for the 4 days I was gone, but NONE of them paid her. None of them think it is fair that they had to pay me and her, even though they all signed the contract. You know what, fine, I paid my alternate out of my pocket, after helping pay for a funeral, so if they need the money that bad, whatever. I don't have the energy to fight with them. I just will not offer an easy solution again. And thanks for the support, right?! Ugh. I am so hurt.

So sorry for your loss. I think some of the problem maybe that your alternate was tending the kids in YOUR home. To the parents there was no change in routine, but they were expected to pay twice. I think that if care had been at your friends house, there would not have been a problem. I personally do not arrange substitute care. That is the parents responsibility.

[SilverSabre25]

So sorry for your loss and for your inconsiderate daycare parents.

[squareone]

sahm2three I would like to offer my condolences to you adn your family. I am really sorry that you are dealing with this at a time when you should be grieving.

I agree with pp and believe that the confusion may have come because the alternate care was offered in your home. I would leave the parents responsible for their own back-up care in the future.

I also like the idea of letting the parents know that since they did not pay for those days, that you still have the same number of paid personal days to use.

I am curious to know how these 3 families normally behave. Have you ever had payment problems with any of them in the past, or was this a complete shock to you?

[sahm2three]

sahm2three I would like to offer my condolences to you adn your family. I am really sorry that you are dealing with this at a time when you should be grieving.

I agree with pp and believe that the confusion may have come because the alternate care was offered in your home. I would leave the parents responsible for their own back-up care in the future.

I also like the idea of letting the parents know that since they did not pay for those days, that you still have the same number of paid personal days to use.

I am curious to know how these 3 families normally behave. Have you ever had payment problems with any of them in the past, or was this a complete shock to you?

They have always paid and paid pretty much on time. One of them have complained about having to pay for a day their children were home sick. I am just a bit shocked about the lack of compassion. Their first reaction was how this all was going to affect them. It made me sick.

[Lucy]

Thanks everyone for your words of sympathy. I didn't intend to hijack this thread, so I'm sorry to the OP.