Major Loss In My Family

[daycare]

agree with this....dont offer to help the arrange back up care...I know you were trying to be nice and I have finally figured out that being nice only gets you walked on......

arranging back up care is thier probelm not yours...Don't help them any more...

again sorry your going through this

[Lucy]

My father died 17 days ago. I'm just now starting to come out of my fog. It was a Tuesday morning, and I arranged to fly out of state that evening, leaving my house at 4:00 pm and my husband finished the day for me. I took off three days (was with mom from Tuesday night until Sunday night). I flew back again the next weekend for the memorial service, but I left Friday night and came home Sunday night. So I took THREE days off. I feel like it's their responsibility to find alternate care. I never offer it. They pay me a set amount per month, and I do not deduct for anything, so I got paid for those 3 days. Nobody even questioned it. One mom gave me a hug, and a card when I came back, another gave me some rum and pina colada mix because we texted back and forth while I was at mom's and I said I could use one about now! They were great about it.

So sorry for your loss. You didn't say what relative, but for me - losing Dad was the saddest day of my life. He wasn't even sick. Just went to bed and didn't wake up.

[Crystal]

SAHM and Joyce, I am very sorry for your loss.

Joyce, you brought tears to my eyes, I cannot imagine the day I lose one of my parents. May peace be with your father.

[Lucy]

SAHM and Joyce, I am very sorry for your loss.

Joyce, you brought tears to my eyes, I cannot imagine the day I lose one of my parents. May peace be with your father.

Thank you so much, Crystal. I really appreciate it.

[sahm2three]

My father died 17 days ago. I'm just now starting to come out of my fog. It was a Tuesday morning, and I arranged to fly out of state that evening, leaving my house at 4:00 pm and my husband finished the day for me. I took off three days (was with mom from Tuesday night until Sunday night). I flew back again the next weekend for the memorial service, but I left Friday night and came home Sunday night. So I took THREE days off. I feel like it's their responsibility to find alternate care. I never offer it. They pay me a set amount per month, and I do not deduct for anything, so I got paid for those 3 days. Nobody even questioned it. One mom gave me a hug, and a card when I came back, another gave me some rum and pina colada mix because we texted back and forth while I was at mom's and I said I could use one about now! They were great about it.

So sorry for your loss. You didn't say what relative, but for me - losing Dad was the saddest day of my life. He wasn't even sick. Just went to bed and didn't wake up.

It was my nephew. He died in a freak accident. He was 13 years old. He was like one of my kids. I am devastated, as is the rest of the family. I am trying to help my BIL thru this, and not have to worry about money.

To clarify, my friend watched kids in my house, yes, but only was offered as an option. They would have had to pay if they would have taken the kids to a different daycare, how is it different in my home? She used my house so that the kids were as comfortable as possible. Whatever, like I said, I won't offer it again, and I learned something about their character! Not a sympathy card from any of them. Just worrying about how this all affects them.

[MamaBear]

Sorry...

Sorry for your loss :-(

[PitterPatter]

My father died 17 days ago. I'm just now starting to come out of my fog. It was a Tuesday morning, and I arranged to fly out of state that evening, leaving my house at 4:00 pm and my husband finished the day for me. I took off three days (was with mom from Tuesday night until Sunday night). I flew back again the next weekend for the memorial service, but I left Friday night and came home Sunday night. So I took THREE days off. I feel like it's their responsibility to find alternate care. I never offer it. They pay me a set amount per month, and I do not deduct for anything, so I got paid for those 3 days. Nobody even questioned it. One mom gave me a hug, and a card when I came back, another gave me some rum and pina colada mix because we texted back and forth while I was at mom's and I said I could use one about now! They were great about it.

So sorry for your loss. You didn't say what relative, but for me - losing Dad was the saddest day of my life. He wasn't even sick. Just went to bed and didn't wake up.

OH NO! I am sorry for your loss as well!!

Going to count my blessings and pray for everyone around me!

[AfterSchoolMom]

Sahm, I know a bunch have said it already, but I am so sorry for your loss.

[e.j.]

It was my nephew. He died in a freak accident. He was 13 years old. He was like one of my kids. I am devastated, as is the rest of the family. I am trying to help my BIL thru this, and not have to worry about money.

To clarify, my friend watched kids in my house, yes, but only was offered as an option. They would have had to pay if they would have taken the kids to a different daycare, how is it different in my home? She used my house so that the kids were as comfortable as possible. Whatever, like I said, I won't offer it again, and I learned something about their character! Not a sympathy card from any of them. Just worrying about how this all affects them.

I'm so sorry to hear about your nephew. How sad for your family.

I'm not sure how I feel about the pay issue. I can understand your dc parents' point of view and that's why I don't charge when I close the day care for any reason, including the death of a family member. If your policy is that you get that time off paid and the parents signed your contract, they should honor the agreement and expect to pay both of you. I'm sorry they're giving you a hard time about it and that none were thoughtful enough to even send a sympathy card. That has to hurt.

[e.j.]

My father died 17 days ago.... I'm just now starting to come out of my fog..... losing Dad was the saddest day of my life. He wasn't even sick. Just went to bed and didn't wake up.

Joyce, I'm sorry for your loss, too. My dad passed away at the end of April. Although we didn't have much time between his diagnosis and death, we were lucky to have had the time to tell him how much we loved him and to say our good-byes. It was hard but I can't imagine the shock you must have felt when your father passed away so suddenly. This weekend will be a tough one but hopefully your memories of your dad will eventually bring you some peace and comfort.

[momofboys]

Tried to take personal days for myself, but also had a friend who is licensed but not still watching kids stay in my home to watch kids if people didn't have someone else. I told them I would be taking personal days for the ones gone, so they would be responsible for paying me, and paying my alternate if they chose to use her. Three families chose to use her for the 4 days I was gone, but NONE of them paid her. None of them think it is fair that they had to pay me and her, even though they all signed the contract. You know what, fine, I paid my alternate out of my pocket, after helping pay for a funeral, so if they need the money that bad, whatever. I don't have the energy to fight with them. I just will not offer an easy solution again. And thanks for the support, right?! Ugh. I am so hurt.

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your nephew. No doubt you are beside yourself with grief! I totally understand your contract & am sad to hear your DC parents don't feel obligated to abide by a signed contract. Boo on them! If you have paid personal days off they would still have to pay an alternate. Maybe they are confused since the care took place in your home? I would be sure to remind them of their obligations.

Joyce, I am also sorry to hear of your dad's passing. I lost my dad a little over a year ago & I still get broken up, especially this weekend with father's day & all. Please accept my sincere sympathy.

[MyAngels]

It was my nephew. He died in a freak accident. He was 13 years old. He was like one of my kids. I am devastated, as is the rest of the family. I am trying to help my BIL thru this, and not have to worry about money.

To clarify, my friend watched kids in my house, yes, but only was offered as an option. They would have had to pay if they would have taken the kids to a different daycare, how is it different in my home? She used my house so that the kids were as comfortable as possible. Whatever, like I said, I won't offer it again, and I learned something about their character! Not a sympathy card from any of them. Just worrying about how this all affects them.

I am so sorry for your loss, I can't even imagine how sad you must be.

I'm also sorry that it had to be accompanied by a difficult lesson in ungrateful daycare families. They should be grateful that you provided a convenient alternative to finding their own backup, rather than nitpiking over money.

[Country Kids]

My mother passed away 11 years ago this past April. I remember calling a daycare parent and her asking when will you be back! I told her a week but remember being dumbfounded because that was the last thing that was on my mind at that time. I also picked a week out of the air because I didn't know what else to say. This happened on a Friday and on Monday morning on my way to the funeral home the food lady showed up unannouced and was not happy with me because I hadn't called them to tell them I was closed and she came over when she didn't have to. I remember feeling like the whole world was against me.

[MG&Lsmom]

So sorry about your losses. (((Hugs)))

Shame on those parents. They shouldn't get away with it and maybe when you're feeling better you can pursue it.

[Blackcat31]

Joyce and sahm2three Thoughts and prayers go out to both of you and your family members. Losing a loved makes us all take stock in what is truly important. I hope you both are coping as well as can be expected. ((((hugs)))) I wish there was something I could do.....