Mom Cried When I Told Her 2 Year Old Cannot Have Bottle

[littlemommy]

Cool. That's great. Now, what are you going to do when the child doesn't eat or drink at all? That is dangerous. Is there a plan of action with the parents, or is everyone just taking the bottle away?

This cannot just be done "cold turkey" - he is attached to his bottle and it is his largest source of nutrition. What if he doesn't eat or drink? Hopefully he will, but from the issues you have described, it's not likely. I wouldn't want to be responsible for caring for a child who refuses to eat or drink anything.....bad things can happen.

When he did bring his bottle, he never drank from it, so that won't be any different. I can't force him to eat or drink in my care. I figure if he is hungry or thirsty, he will eat and drink. He wasn't THAT attached to his bottle, it was more of a matter of his mother pushing it on him. His dad told me yesterday that he can drink from a normal cup or a sippy cup, and that he does very well with those at home. He has been trying to get her to lose the bottle for over a year.

And yes, my food program specialist did give me other advice. She told me that if i suspect he is being neglected and not fed at home, that I need to report it. After talking to his father, I'm confident that he IS eating at home. I'm going to keep offering new foods every day, and hopefully he will start to feel comfortable enough to eat.

I think a major part of it is his lack of socialization. The only people he's EVER been with are his parents and grandmother. He has never been around other kids his age, or other kids in general! He's definitely taking a long time to adjust to daycare, but I think that is normal for a 2 year old that has never been put in situations to meet other people.

I talked to his mom yesterday again about the dangers of the bottle at his age. She said that she's been wanting to get him off of it but it's just "easier." She knows that it can cause damage to his teeth, and said that it will be much more of an adjustment for HER than for HIM. I'm really NOT worried about it being a problem here. He never drank from it anyways because after seeing that he didn't even drink from it, I would give him a cup.

[littlemommy]

I am glad that you and the daddy had a heart to heart.

Just curious..... what does he like to eat at home?

He said mac n cheese, chicken nuggets, sandwiches, bread, and hamburger helper. One day he came in with a ****er, so I know they give him sugar, too. I don't cook packaged meals at my house, so mac n cheese and hamburger helper are all from scratch. I kind of wonder if he doesn't want to eat because he doesn't like to sit at the table with the other kids. He'll sit down, and as soon as I bring him a bowl of food he pushes it away. Doesn't even take a chance to look at it, let alone touch it. I'm going to keep trying. At least I know I'm trying by offering!

[Live and Learn]

Is he in a high chair?

[Crystal]

He said mac n cheese, chicken nuggets, sandwiches, bread, and hamburger helper. One day he came in with a ****er, so I know they give him sugar, too. I don't cook packaged meals at my house, so mac n cheese and hamburger helper are all from scratch. I kind of wonder if he doesn't want to eat because he doesn't like to sit at the table with the other kids. He'll sit down, and as soon as I bring him a bowl of food he pushes it away. Doesn't even take a chance to look at it, let alone touch it. I'm going to keep trying. At least I know I'm trying by offering!

that explains alot....he wants the salty, chock-full of preservatives, packaged foods. yuck.

if it is a social issue and he's not comfy sitting with the other kids, is it possible to sit him at a small table off to the side by himself, where maybe you can sit one on one with him for awhile? That might help.

[littlemommy]

that explains alot....he wants the salty, chock-full of preservatives, packaged foods. yuck.

if it is a social issue and he's not comfy sitting with the other kids, is it possible to sit him at a small table off to the side by himself, where maybe you can sit one on one with him for awhile? That might help.

I just gave my food program lady an update. She suggested this too. I have a small card table and chairs that the kids sit at while they are eating. His dad told me that he sits at the table at home, so I don't think I'm going to try a high chair.

[sharlan]

I really hope that the father is being honest with you.

[Live and Learn]

He said mac n cheese, chicken nuggets, sandwiches, bread, and hamburger helper. One day he came in with a ****er, so I know they give him sugar, too. I don't cook packaged meals at my house, so mac n cheese and hamburger helper are all from scratch. I kind of wonder if he doesn't want to eat because he doesn't like to sit at the table with the other kids. He'll sit down, and as soon as I bring him a bowl of food he pushes it away. Doesn't even take a chance to look at it, let alone touch it. I'm going to keep trying. At least I know I'm trying by offering!

Glad you didn't ask to have them provide food.::

[sharlan]

How are things going with this now?

[littlemommy]

How are things going with this now?

Making (very slow!) progress! At lunchtime, he doesn't hit his bowl away before looking at it. Two days in a row now, he has actually taken a bite of food (with my assistance.) When he takes that first bite, he lets it sit in his mouth. Yesterday he sat there, with his mouth open, for an hour. Today, he took a bite and did the same thing, but spit it out all over the table.

I didn't let him spit it out yesterday because I don't want him to get into that bad habit. On yesterday's menu, we had pork roast, stewed onions and asparagus, and macaroni salad. Today was spaghetti, sweet potatoes, and apples.

He's drinking fine from a sippy cup.

[jen]

My food program lady said that is one of their "rules."

I'd call the main office and let them know what your food program lady told you. Crystal is correct...it is a FEDERAL food program and you can only be kicked off for not feeding what you are supposed to feed or for recording issues or of course, sanitation. More likely, it bugs her that the kid is drinking from a bottle and she's playing fast and lose with the rules.

That said, I also agree with Crystal about how you should handle this situation. No bottle, finger food and cups only. He'll eat.

[kidkair]

He's still a relatively new kid to you so I would keep pushing for progress as you have been. If his other skills don't improve within another couple weeks, I suggest contacting your school district and having him evaluated to be on the safe side. In the mean time, I'd print off a check list of skills he should be doing and have dad fill it out so you know the skills he displays at home. I'm guessing that a lot of his behaviors stem from being new to daycare and he just needs extra time to warm up to the other kids. Also being nearly two he's probably developing independence at home and hasn't figured out how to deal with the separation. At home he's pushing for more independence and then he's sent off to daycare away from everyone he's know thus far and might be viewing it as punishment for trying to be independent. He doesn't know what's going on, he just knows he doesn't like it. I think a lot of it stems from separation anxiety. Give him as much love as possible and he'll come out eventually.

[Crystal]

Making (very slow!) progress! At lunchtime, he doesn't hit his bowl away before looking at it. Two days in a row now, he has actually taken a bite of food (with my assistance.) When he takes that first bite, he lets it sit in his mouth. Yesterday he sat there, with his mouth open, for an hour. Today, he took a bite and did the same thing, but spit it out all over the table.

I didn't let him spit it out yesterday because I don't want him to get into that bad habit. On yesterday's menu, we had pork roast, stewed onions and asparagus, and macaroni salad. Today was spaghetti, sweet potatoes, and apples.

He's drinking fine from a sippy cup.

Your menu sounds delicious, but it may be part of the problem for him. I would start him with some very basic foods. I'd treat him like a younger child, since he is developmentally at a younger stage, and offer him foods that are a little more bland. More of a "just starting to eat finger foods" stage. Then, let him progress from there.

He may also have sensory issues. He really needs an evaluation.

[Crystal]

One more thought.....If at all possible, I would try to give him more opportunities to try foods. I know it's difficult to meet special needs, especially with food, but I think if he gets more "practice" with putting food in his mouth, he will get better at eating. You could actually make food part of your curriculum and try out a new food each day for a couple of weeks. Make a BIG deal about it and how great it is. See how he responds.

[Country Kids]

Making (very slow!) progress! At lunchtime, he doesn't hit his bowl away before looking at it. Two days in a row now, he has actually taken a bite of food (with my assistance.) When he takes that first bite, he lets it sit in his mouth. Yesterday he sat there, with his mouth open, for an hour. Today, he took a bite and did the same thing, but spit it out all over the table.

I didn't let him spit it out yesterday because I don't want him to get into that bad habit. On yesterday's menu, we had pork roast, stewed onions and asparagus, and macaroni salad. Today was spaghetti, sweet potatoes, and apples.

He's drinking fine from a sippy cup.

Didn't you say he didn't like tomatoes? Maybe that is the reason he spit his food out today-didn't like the tomatoe sauce.

[Candyland]

"Littlemommy" - I think you've done tremendously with this little guy. I, too, happen to think he's got problems. poor kid.
Keep working with him.