So I Have This Parent..

[WDW]

who I have bent over backwards to help. Lots of financial troubles (but many brought on by choices) so I give a slight rate break, don't make her bring wipes, small things like that. About 3x a month she asks if she can "pay me later" - now I always get paid when she says she'll do it whether it's later that night, Sat, Mon... always before the kid comes back for care, but it's a pain to have to wait for it.. two trips to bank, etc. But I try to "help" her because I'm nice.

So today, she brings the kid and said she's taking her to the dr this afternoon because she's coughing and not acting herself. She leaves. Kid is coughing like crazy, this ugly wheezy cough. Laying on the floor, not playing. Saying she didn't feel well. No fever, but when I asked her, she said mommy gave her medicine. Could have been cough syrup, but I'm thinking Tylenol... who knows. So I call mom, tell her she needs to take her home, she doesn't feel up to being here and until the dr sees her, she's coughing all over everyone, and we're all healthy right now. (Knock on wood). Mom is mad, comes to get her, walks in the house, yells at kid to get her shoes and let's go. She asks if she's coming back and mom says You're NOT coming back. I tell mom, I'm sorry if she's upset but rules are rules... in the middle of me talking, she holds up her hand like STOP, and says very rudely IT'S FINE, grabs her kid and leaves.

So I text her this afternoon after the dr appt to see how kid is doing. No reply, still. If she got meds she can't come back tomorrow, but mom isn't going to answer me. So irritated. What would you do? Oh, her "free" late payments are over. And I know some of you are gonna say she doesn't see her rate as a discount, just her rate. I get that, but she does know I didn't raise her when I raised everyone.

[daycare]

holy cow! I would be so steaming mad if someone put their hand up inj my face like that.
Do you have a signed policy and PHB with this parent?

I don't even know what to say. Thats sounds so horrible of the parent to teat you like that. Sorry you are having to deal with this.

[WDW]

Yeah, I have the handbook. It states when payment is due, what fees are, what illness policy is, etc. I've been too nice and it's bit me, so that's over. But I don't know if I should call her tonight or let her show up or what. I have a feeling she got antibiotics and doesn't want to tell me.

[daycare]

I think that i would just leave it alone for today and let the mom act like a two year old and continue to throw her tantrum. Tomorrow, if she shows discuss it then. IF you don't feel that you can leave it until tomorrow, i would send a text about 8pm tonight saying:
hiXX I was wondering how XX was doing ? I really hope she is feeling better and will be able to join us tomorrow. If you could update me I would really appreciate it so that I can plan out our day for tomorrow. thanks so much for your understanding.....

[sharlan]

She probably got in trouble with her boss and took it out on her daughter.

[momma2girls]

Don't let her in tomorrow to your daycare. She will not answer your phone calls at all.

[Mike Lassiter]

who I have bent over backwards to help. Lots of financial troubles (but many brought on by choices) so I give a slight rate break, don't make her bring wipes, small things like that. About 3x a month she asks if she can "pay me later" - now I always get paid when she says she'll do it whether it's later that night, Sat, Mon... always before the kid comes back for care, but it's a pain to have to wait for it.. two trips to bank, etc. But I try to "help" her because I'm nice.

So today, she brings the kid and said she's taking her to the dr this afternoon because she's coughing and not acting herself. She leaves. Kid is coughing like crazy, this ugly wheezy cough. Laying on the floor, not playing. Saying she didn't feel well. No fever, but when I asked her, she said mommy gave her medicine. Could have been cough syrup, but I'm thinking Tylenol... who knows. So I call mom, tell her she needs to take her home, she doesn't feel up to being here and until the dr sees her, she's coughing all over everyone, and we're all healthy right now. (Knock on wood). Mom is mad, comes to get her, walks in the house, yells at kid to get her shoes and let's go. She asks if she's coming back and mom says You're NOT coming back. I tell mom, I'm sorry if she's upset but rules are rules... in the middle of me talking, she holds up her hand like STOP, and says very rudely IT'S FINE, grabs her kid and leaves.

So I text her this afternoon after the dr appt to see how kid is doing. No reply, still. If she got meds she can't come back tomorrow, but mom isn't going to answer me. So irritated. What would you do? Oh, her "free" late payments are over. And I know some of you are gonna say she doesn't see her rate as a discount, just her rate. I get that, but she does know I didn't raise her when I raised everyone.

First I think mom has little if any respect for you. You have tried to make her world easier for her; and she is now "entitled" to that.

Who knows (cares) why she came in mad to pick up her child. Boss/work - not your problem. Sick child - seems she knew that and doped her up hoping to slide one by you; and perhaps angry about that not working. It's OK to make everyone elses kids sick as long as you don't get inconvenienced over it?
Holding your hand up to a grownup as if to tell them to shut up (especially the person keeping your child and bending the rules for YOU) is disrespectful and rude. Regardless of all the reasons this all occurred I find her behavior and attitude unacceptable.
I suggest telling her that you will not be treated like that again. You where NOT the problem, and regardless of what or why she was upset there is very little to be gained by insulting you to empower her in some way.
You shouldn't have to explain this to a GROWNUP. It seems she may feel that since you have been helping her, and bending the rules for HER; that you should have done so in this matter as well. After all now I am entitled to special treatment - and I will be an a$$ if I don't get it.

OOH WEE!! I think I would have slapped her silly with that hand.

[Cat Herder]

The more you bend and cave for parent issues the less they respect you. I know it sounds harsh, but the more you do for them the less they treat you with respect. I don't know why, I just know it is.

They don't see you as "nice", they see you as weak. Take this as a lesson and move forward without her.

This DCM got her first "NO" and did not like it. Cut and dry. You acted in the best interest of the child and she acted like a child.

Sorry you are dealing with this. BTDT.

It helps to focus on doing "special" just between you and the kids, not for the parents. Break the cycle.

[texascare]

You have to have a back bone in this buisness. It's not called being rude or mean, (as some providers see it) it's called buisness. If and when you bend the rules for one parent, not only do they begin to take advantage of you but alot of time other parents see it and will begin to take advantage of you too. Once they begin to step on you it is all down hill from there. Your guard goes up, things just change beteween you and that parent. You are an adult and should be treated as so. I treat all parents equally and believe I should be as well. When one begins to belittle me or snub me I nip it in the bud. I fired one a month ago for this very reason. My buisness, my rules. If you don't like it I am sure you can find care elseware. Good luck!

[WDW]

So she showed up this morning and I just looked at her when she walked in, and said, "So, did you get my text yesterday" - she said yes, handed me a Dr. note and said she was sorry for the way she acted. I told her I needed her to answer my texts, etc. so I could plan my days. She said tearily that her and bf had a really bad night (not unusual) and she was sorry. I let her know that I didn't appreciate being treated that way and let it go. Maybe I'm too nice, but I love the kid. Still standing firm on no more favors though.

[littlemissmuffet]

You have to have a back bone in this buisness. It's not called being rude or mean, (as some providers see it) it's called buisness. If and when you bend the rules for one parent, not only do they begin to take advantage of you but alot of time other parents see it and will begin to take advantage of you too. Once they begin to step on you it is all down hill from there. Your guard goes up, things just change beteween you and that parent. You are an adult and should be treated as so. I treat all parents equally and believe I should be as well. When one begins to belittle me or snub me I nip it in the bud. I fired one a month ago for this very reason. My buisness, my rules. If you don't like it I am sure you can find care elseware. Good luck!

THIS!

Tomorrow when she drops off, because we all know she WILL, sick kid in tow or not, I would tell her "this is (kid's name)'s last day, here are her belongings. I will not be spoken to that way in MY home or MY business and I will most definitely not be spoken to like that by somebody I have done so much for. Have a good weekend. Goodbye."

Seriously, I don't now how so many providers put up with SO much crap from parents. We have one of the HARDEST and most thankless jobs under the sun and then to be walked all over by the mothers and fathers of the children we cater to and help RAISE? Never!!!
BACKBONE, BACKBONE, BACKBONE!

[Mike Lassiter]

So she showed up this morning and I just looked at her when she walked in, and said, "So, did you get my text yesterday" - she said yes, handed me a Dr. note and said she was sorry for the way she acted. I told her I needed her to answer my texts, etc. so I could plan my days. She said tearily that her and bf had a really bad night (not unusual) and she was sorry. I let her know that I didn't appreciate being treated that way and let it go. Maybe I'm too nice, but I love the kid. Still standing firm on no more favors though.

I'm still pissed ::

However, an apology goes a long way to setting things right. She at least had the dependency decency to offer that. Now, you have told her face to face that you didn't like being treated that way. She should consider her actions more closely from here on now that she has been spoken to. If not, she maybe using sympathy and your good nature to her advantage in getting out of the hot seat. Hopefully she understands that you too are a grownup and expect to be treated as such.

Good for you for confronting her about it, and no more favors!

[Mike Lassiter]

THIS!

Tomorrow when she drops off, because we all know she WILL, sick kid in tow or not, I would tell her "this is (kid's name)'s last day, here are her belongings. I will not be spoken to that way in MY home or MY business and I will most definitely not be spoken to like that by somebody I have done so much for. Have a good weekend. Goodbye."

Seriously, I don't now how so many providers put up with SO much crap from parents. We have one of the HARDEST and most thankless jobs under the sun and then to be walked all over by the mothers and fathers of the children we cater to and help RAISE? Never!!!
BACKBONE, BACKBONE, BACKBONE!

I'm just a want to be right now, but I here all of you saying it and I agree with it too.
littlemissmuffet - your a lot tuffer than your "name" suggest

[WDW]

I'm still pissed ::

However, an apology goes a long way to setting things right. She at least had the dependency to offer that. Now, you have told her face to face that you didn't like being treated that way. She should consider her actions more closely from here on now that she has been spoken to. If not, she maybe using sympathy and your good nature to her advantage in getting out of the hot seat. Hopefully she understands that you too are a grownup and expect to be treated as such.

Good for you for confronting her about it, and no more favors!

Thanks for the support! I'm not thrilled either but I'm trying to let it be. I wanted to what MissMuffet suggested, esp. yesterday. :: Next time is the last time. To be fair, she's never been rude like that before. A little bit on the expectant side, but never rude.

[PitterPatter]

I have had that damn hand put up before when I tried to get a DCM to leave during pick up. She kept walking ALL around my house looking around at my stuff in every room while talking to her Avon lady on her cell! I didn't have much of a backbone either but I am growing 1 thanks to these members here!!

NOW I would have said excuse me but u don't have to be rude. :: Yeah see I have a small backbone! BUT it's growing stronger every day!

THEN I would start charging EVERY fee and sticking to it. NO MORE breaks for her!