Tattle Telling, "Mean Faces", And Hitting

[SilverSabre25]

I have found this works great, When someone comes up to me to tattle, and are about to say

"X Called..............I stop them and say, you are only aloud to tell me something about yourself, you can tell me your favorite color, how your feeling, but whatever your telling me must be about Robert, no one else.

They all know, so all I have to say now is "whatever your going to say need to be about you" In the beginning you get alot of But....but ....but ....but!!

someone getting hurt however is Reporting, and you are aloud to report to me if someone is getting hurt.

I like this. I like this a LOT! I especially like the distinction between the tattling and the reporting--I've been wanting a different term for the kind of thing that they DO need to be telling us. Getting hurt, hurting someone else, using the crayon on the wall, flushing the roll of TP down the potty...

[Blackcat31]

Wow, pretty strict, but I like the idea. Might even implement that one here. If it gets the hitting and kicking to a zero!!
What do you do when it's a one year old doing the hitting? or biting? They are so young. (I've always just kept letting them know hands are for...and not hurting. remove them from the area of conflict and say "no bite" or "no hit" in a firm, but gentle voice. That kind of thing and ride out the stage.).

It is a bit strict but it does seem to stop the physical behavior issues. With the ones that are young like you mentioned, a 1 yr old, I am generally their shadow more or less I guess during the day. I mainly only take 2 yrs and up but do have two toddlers right now but neither of them are really hitters so I will have to cross that bridge when I come to it but I would probably do as you said and firmly tell them "NO!" in a commanding voice so that they know it is not acceptable behavior.

[MARSTELAC]

It is a bit strict but it does seem to stop the physical behavior issues. With the ones that are young like you mentioned, a 1 yr old, I am generally their shadow more or less I guess during the day. I mainly only take 2 yrs and up but do have two toddlers right now but neither of them are really hitters so I will have to cross that bridge when I come to it but I would probably do as you said and firmly tell them "NO!" in a commanding voice so that they know it is not acceptable behavior.

Do you write a note home to parent or tell them? I had an issue today and the consequence for the naughty child is playing alone while others are enjoying an activity for about an hour or so.

[Blackcat31]

Do you write a note home to parent or tell them? I had an issue today and the consequence for the naughty child is playing alone while others are enjoying an activity for about an hour or so.

I document things that are related to physical behavior but as far as letting the parent know, I tell them verbally and I will also give them a written note/memo telling them what happened and how we handled it ( if the situation is severe).

If the behavior starts getting regular or out of hand, (more than once in a day) I will call the parent and ask them to pick up their child. I then let the parent know they need to start working with their child so that the child learns more appropriate methods of dealing with conflict. I also send some info home on normal behaviors and talk with the family about things they can do to help their child learn to vocalize their needs.
I suggest behavior charts like these: http://www.freeprintablebehaviorchar...charts3-10.htm or send info like this http://www.childrens.com/PatientsFam...and-biting.cfm so that parents can learn what they can do to assist their child in a positive manner.

In your case, I would definitely tell the parent that is what happened today and that ***xx had to play alone due to the behavior. I have been doing this long enough that most of the parents are younger than me, which IMHO helps with the backbone and respect issues and I am also one of those people who tell it like it is, even when I am in the wrong. so I guess I am also lucky enough to have had all my dck's long enough to know how to approach each parent with whatever issues I need to talk with them about.

Although, that is my standard way of doing things, I do have to mention that every year the dynamic of the group is different. Kids who get along sometimes no longer do, kids who are super good are sometimes not and every year it seems that more and more individual consideration needs to be given for every situation so it makes it kind of hard to be the same disciplinarian every single day. I take every situation as a whole and try to tweak my no violence policy to meet each family and child's needs while keeping my wits about me as well.....sometimes it is trickier than other times but still doable....kwim?

Hope that was somewhat helpful.....

[newtodaycare22]

Today, we started the rule of "If you tattle, YOU get the time out."

We had 5 time outs in the first 30 minutes this morning. Then, only 1 about 4 hours later. I think it's working.

[laundrymom]

Today I started saying ' what do you want me to do?' they say tell her to stop, I say why dont you tell her uourself. He tells her e stop licking my feet! It's gross. She said ok. And life went back to normal. I think I've figured how to slow down the tattling

[newtodaycare22]

Today I started saying ' what do you want me to do?' they say tell her to stop, I say why dont you tell her uourself. He tells her e stop licking my feet! It's gross. She said ok. And life went back to normal. I think I've figured how to slow down the tattling

This is how I explain it to them too. When I think they are about to tattle, I say "Stop and think about what YOU can do to fix it."

Today at lunch, someone had their foot on another kids chair. The girl said, "MISS....." and immediately covered her mouth with her hand. Then, she said "I don't want to tattle!" She turned to the other kid and said, "Can you please move your feet?" He said "ok!" and moved them. She screamed, "MISS ****, I solved the problem!!!!"

Oh it was music to my ears that my 3s and 4s can handle that...sometimes at least::

[SilverSabre25]

Can I just say...that my 2 yo dcg just tattled to me that " [My DD] said it's not raining..." when they were having a very short argument about whether or not it was raining. Every time she calls me with that "tattling tone" I tell her not to tattle but it's totally not making a dent. Argh!

[NiNi.R.]

I also have a house full of girls...OH the drama that comes with that. Anyways, I felt the same..that tattling and hitting was getting way out of hand. I did some research on different behavior charts and combined some ideas to create what would work best in my home. This is how my chart works:

I keep track of the children’s behavior by using a choices clip chart. Children ages 2 and older participate. The children will move up on the chart for making responsible choices and move down on the chart for making inappropriate choices. The best part about this system is that it gives children an opportunity to IMPROVE their behavior and make better choices which allows children to move back up on the chart!

Outstanding Choices- Children who make outstanding choices will get to add a gumball to their machine. Children who fill up their machines with 5 gumballs will get to pick a small prize and take home a special certificate stating what they have accomplished!

Great Choices-Children on purple made GREAT choices at NiNi’s today!*

Good Choices-Children on tan made GOOD choices in at NiNi’s today!

Ready to Learn- All children start each day on green. Clips are moved up and down on the chart according to choices made.

Think About It- Children on yellow will be asked to sit in timeout and reflect about his/her behavior. This is a friendly reminder to follow NiNi’s rules.

Loss of Privilege- Children on orange will have to face flexible consequences given by NiNi. Consequences can be different for different children. Some examples of consequences include: no outdoor play, a toy taken away, etc.)

Parents Contacted Immediately- Parents will immediately be contacted and asked to discuss the situation with their child.

If a child falls below the yellow a written notice is sent home to inform the parent of his/her behavior. If 2 or more notices are sent home in one week I will have a conference with the Parent to discuss the best course of action for the child to get the behavior to stop. If the behavior continues the child will not be able to return to childcare until they can exhibit more control over the behavior.

This has worked wonders for me! The kids are so busy thinking of ways to get their clip to move up on the chart by using their manners, sharing toys, etc. That most of the bad behavior has came to a complete hault.

[Country Kids]

I also have a house full of girls...OH the drama that comes with that. Anyways, I felt the same..that tattling and hitting was getting way out of hand. I did some research on different behavior charts and combined some ideas to create what would work best in my home. This is how my chart works:

I keep track of the children’s behavior by using a choices clip chart. Children ages 2 and older participate. The children will move up on the chart for making responsible choices and move down on the chart for making inappropriate choices. The best part about this system is that it gives children an opportunity to IMPROVE their behavior and make better choices which allows children to move back up on the chart!

Outstanding Choices- Children who make outstanding choices will get to add a gumball to their machine. Children who fill up their machines with 5 gumballs will get to pick a small prize and take home a special certificate stating what they have accomplished!

Great Choices-Children on purple made GREAT choices at NiNi’s today!*

Good Choices-Children on tan made GOOD choices in at NiNi’s today!

Ready to Learn- All children start each day on green. Clips are moved up and down on the chart according to choices made.

Think About It- Children on yellow will be asked to sit in timeout and reflect about his/her behavior. This is a friendly reminder to follow NiNi’s rules.

Loss of Privilege- Children on orange will have to face flexible consequences given by NiNi. Consequences can be different for different children. Some examples of consequences include: no outdoor play, a toy taken away, etc.)

Parents Contacted Immediately- Parents will immediately be contacted and asked to discuss the situation with their child.

If a child falls below the yellow a written notice is sent home to inform the parent of his/her behavior. If 2 or more notices are sent home in one week I will have a conference with the Parent to discuss the best course of action for the child to get the behavior to stop. If the behavior continues the child will not be able to return to childcare until they can exhibit more control over the behavior.

This has worked wonders for me! The kids are so busy thinking of ways to get their clip to move up on the chart by using their manners, sharing toys, etc. That most of the bad behavior has came to a complete hault.

This is great!!! Would you mind if I were to use this for my children?

[NiNi.R.]

This is great!!! Would you mind if I were to use this for my children?

go right ahead!

[MissAnn]

I also have a house full of girls...OH the drama that comes with that. Anyways, I felt the same..that tattling and hitting was getting way out of hand. I did some research on different behavior charts and combined some ideas to create what would work best in my home. This is how my chart works:

I keep track of the children’s behavior by using a choices clip chart. Children ages 2 and older participate. The children will move up on the chart for making responsible choices and move down on the chart for making inappropriate choices. The best part about this system is that it gives children an opportunity to IMPROVE their behavior and make better choices which allows children to move back up on the chart!

Outstanding Choices- Children who make outstanding choices will get to add a gumball to their machine. Children who fill up their machines with 5 gumballs will get to pick a small prize and take home a special certificate stating what they have accomplished!

Great Choices-Children on purple made GREAT choices at NiNi’s today!*

Good Choices-Children on tan made GOOD choices in at NiNi’s today!

Ready to Learn- All children start each day on green. Clips are moved up and down on the chart according to choices made.

Think About It- Children on yellow will be asked to sit in timeout and reflect about his/her behavior. This is a friendly reminder to follow NiNi’s rules.

Loss of Privilege- Children on orange will have to face flexible consequences given by NiNi. Consequences can be different for different children. Some examples of consequences include: no outdoor play, a toy taken away, etc.)

Parents Contacted Immediately- Parents will immediately be contacted and asked to discuss the situation with their child.

If a child falls below the yellow a written notice is sent home to inform the parent of his/her behavior. If 2 or more notices are sent home in one week I will have a conference with the Parent to discuss the best course of action for the child to get the behavior to stop. If the behavior continues the child will not be able to return to childcare until they can exhibit more control over the behavior.

This has worked wonders for me! The kids are so busy thinking of ways to get their clip to move up on the chart by using their manners, sharing toys, etc. That most of the bad behavior has came to a complete hault.

I don't do any sort of chart like this. This actually encourages tattling. It even encourages parent gossip. Been there, done that. Little Johnny goes home and tells his mom that Little Susie is always on orange. This sparks mom's attention who then makes sure she can see each day who is or isn't on orange. It sets up a negative comparision with both children and adults. It also labels children......good or bad. Even if you don't use those words, they know. Children's behavior should be private and not displayed. Sorry, but that is kind of a pet-peeve of mine.

[NiNi.R.]

I don't do any sort of chart like this. This actually encourages tattling. It even encourages parent gossip. Been there, done that. Little Johnny goes home and tells his mom that Little Susie is always on orange. This sparks mom's attention who then makes sure she can see each day who is or isn't on orange. It sets up a negative comparision with both children and adults. It also labels children......good or bad. Even if you don't use those words, they know. Children's behavior should be private and not displayed. Sorry, but that is kind of a pet-peeve of mine.

I had that problem before when I just used gumball behavior charts I had them located by my front door in hopes that parents would get more involved in their child's behavior at daycare but the only result I got is what you said above..that is what sparked my research and I came across this.

http://www.newmanagement.com/ebooks/pdf/clip_chart_ebook.pdf

After reading about it I thought I would try it a couple weeks before telling the parents.Also I keep my chart in the play room. Parents rarely go in there as the children usually meet them at the front door when they arrive. If a child starts to talk about another child I usually tell them its none of their business and the parents back me up. I've been doing it for months and rarely do I have children fall below the green and if they do they don't stay there for long. They see the direct result of their behavior and so they do what they can to get the opposite reaction and use opposite behavior. THus far my experience has only been positive.

[Country Kids]

I don't do any sort of chart like this. This actually encourages tattling. It even encourages parent gossip. Been there, done that. Little Johnny goes home and tells his mom that Little Susie is always on orange. This sparks mom's attention who then makes sure she can see each day who is or isn't on orange. It sets up a negative comparision with both children and adults. It also labels children......good or bad. Even if you don't use those words, they know. Children's behavior should be private and not displayed. Sorry, but that is kind of a pet-peeve of mine.

My child school actually uses cards for the kids. Different colors mean different things (behaviour) and the children actually hate it when they have their card flipped. So personally if a school uses it and the teachers aren't complaining and neither are the kids I think it would be great to use in a childcare setting. Children have to start taking responsibililty for their actions and see that there are consecunsses (SP) for the action!

[daycare]

all of my kids are 3 and 4. in the morning we assign special assigments to each person in the morning. table helper, wakeup wand fairy, paper pass out, fish feeder, garden keeper, and more.
We use clothes pins to show thier job next to the pictures first thing at circle time. the kids feel very important to get to do this stuff. they all get 3 strikes. This means that after having to sit in time out 3 times they lose thier job and the person with the least time outs will get to do the job instead. Most of the time the person with the least time outs is the one who is getting picked on all the time so it works out that the child with bad behavior gets privillages taken away and given to the one they hurt.