Prejudice Parents....

[wdmmom]

I don't care if you're purple, pink or have green and white polka dots. As long as I'm getting paid, that's all that matters to me.

If the prospective client has an issue, perhaps she should get outside a little more. Diversity is everywhere!

[E Daycare]

I don't care if you're purple, pink or have green and white polka dots. As long as I'm getting paid, that's all that matters to me.

If the prospective client has an issue, perhaps she should get outside a little more. Diversity is everywhere!

EXACTLY how I feel!

The dcf I recently termed, when the mother came to interview, asked me "so race wont be a issue, you dont mind that we are black?" (Im white, Irish white so thats as white as you can get without being albino ) I was caught off guard and then saddened. I told her I had no issue what so ever as my other dck was half American half asian. Either way, the point of race never crossed my mind before. I never see color, I see attitude and personality. I was sad that in todays society it still has to be this way. Same with religion. Im the opposite of religious and yet I dont care what anyone else is.

I termed based on the fact they were just not a good fit what with all the issues and their outlandish behavior.

That being said, Id be miffed if a parent made that type of comment to me in the beginning but figure if they have a issue it is ultimately theirs. Not mine. Id be leary though, as speaking from experience, what I had to deal with after the mom made that comment. Sometimes you get small blips of "youre in for it" before they even sign the paperwork. I wish I wouldve realized that sooner then going through all the crap. Chances are they had issues before and it didnt end well in either their or the dcp favor.

[missnikki]

...she says to me "Oh I'm so glad we found you because every other daycare around here only speaks Mexican" ... I said "you mean Spanish?" . She said "Yeah everyone around here is Mexican and I was so glad to find a white daycare provider who speaks English. Then she tells me about a daycare that she almost went to, but she realized at the tour that the provider was Jamaican and she felt like that would be "awkward"... Shes white with blonde hair by the way....

Just because she said the word WHITE, look at the context. I think you are making it into a racist comment not her. I'll give you that she's ignorant, but this doesn't scream racist to me like it does some of you.

[missnikki]

[QUOTE=MamaBear;112233]...
I then tell her "well I'm actually half Mexican & half Scottish... so I guess you scored for half of me"... She was blushing and trying to fix what she said by saying "oh you know what I mean... Its just a barrier with language is all". I get it, but its always surprising to me...QUOTE]

I would blush too if I made a comment about how glad I am that you speak my language and you discredit me by making it about race. (Again, I wouldn't have pointed out the ethnicities if I were trying to make that point, but she did and it was all you heard.)

[Blackcat31]

I heard somewhere while in elementary school maybe a quote that has stuck with me since..

"When you judge others, you do not define them. You define yourself."

We all bleed red, we all love, we all cry, we all smile, we all laugh...who cares what we look like on the outside? This kind of ignorance makes me very sad.

I grew up with a father who served in Viet Nam. I remember him making a racist comment once when I was about 4. I asked him point blank if what he said was true did that mean God didn't love that person. My dad cried. The only time I ever remember him doing so. He never made an inappropriate comment about a persons race again. I was too young to really undertand what went down that day but I know now.

[QualiTcare]

I heard somewhere while in elementary school maybe a quote that has stuck with me since..

"When you judge others, you do not define them. You define yourself."

We all bleed red, we all love, we all cry, we all smile, we all laugh...who cares what we look like on the outside? This kind of ignorance makes me very sad.

I grew up with a father who served in Viet Nam. I remember him making a racist comment once when I was about 4. I asked him point blank if what he said was true did that mean God didn't love that person. My dad cried. The only time I ever remember him doing so. He never made an inappropriate comment about a persons race again. I was too young to really undertand what went down that day but I know now.

My dad literally almost killed my sister's boyfriend when she got pregnant. He was black. I was young, but I remember him grabbing his gun and then ultimately beating the crap out of his own vehicle with a baseball bat. He's a big redneck, biker looking dude. Now, he has an arsenal of bi-racial grandchildren and he's the proudest grandpa in the world. It's crazy how people can change.

[Unregistered]

I live in the northern half of Minnesota (still considered central) and out in the country... Lots of farmers around me. Anyway, all of my dc kids are white, and most are blue eyed (some brown hair, some blondes).

I wonder if this has anything to do with it. She's from Northern minnesota. She is only staying here until her husband gets back from deployment (in November) and they will move to Oceanside California. Maybe she's just never been anywhere with so many dark skinned people before? Because I don't consider any of these kids "non white".... They speak only english. So, perhaps it's all just weird to her?

I was watching some show on HG TV the other day, and they were in Switzerland. Not ONE single dark haired person in the entire country! I was pretty sure it's mandatory to be strawberry blonde to even enter the country.

[MamaBear]

My dad literally almost killed my sister's boyfriend when she got pregnant. He was black. I was young, but I remember him grabbing his gun and then ultimately beating the crap out of his own vehicle with a baseball bat. He's a big redneck, biker looking dude. Now, he has an arsenal of bi-racial grandchildren and he's the proudest grandpa in the world. It's crazy how people can change.

Sounds JUST like my dad! He changed DRAMATICALLY over the years and now has his bi-racial grandsons and loves them so much. Yeah - people can change in that way

[PeanutsGalore]

Just because she said the word WHITE, look at the context. I think you are making it into a racist comment not her. I'll give you that she's ignorant, but this doesn't scream racist to me like it does some of you.

Then I'm kind of curious...why do you think she would have been "uncomfortable" with the Jamaican provider as well? Last I heard, Jamaicans speak english. And the woman wasn't just happy to find someone who spoke her language, which is perfectly understandable (but silly in terms of daycare because exposure to different languages is good for children and it's basically a free immersion program), she was happy that she found a provider who was WHITE and spoke the language. That's a different statement.

I think the OP should ignore the ignorant comment as well since it's a temp job, but if it were a permanent job, it would put me on notice and be something I would probably refuse the client for.

[daycare]

Sounds like this dcp has a bad case of word vomit. Does not think before she speaks.
I have a parent who is extremely racist. I have excused it as word vomit. But told the wife better never happen again.

Some people just don't think

[missnikki]

Then I'm kind of curious...why do you think she would have been "uncomfortable" with the Jamaican provider as well? Last I heard, Jamaicans speak english.

True, they do. But an ignorant person might not like he strong accent.

Look, I'm not trying to excuse the woman, and I would have felt awkward too for all the reasons many of you have pointed out, that it would be beneficial to the child in the long run...totally agree...and I personally HATE racism...but I did not get that she was complaining about race. It is circumstantial that language barriers are hand in hand with unfamiliar cultures. This idiot parent just sounded double bad when speaking about the communication concern.

I know this is an odd-man-out opinion on this one. I am still trying to find the underlying racism that the mom in mommabear's post had...that deserved the accusation and the blatant comment 'wait till she sees my husband, haha..." I think that was uncalled for.

[MarinaVanessa]

Yes alot of it has to do with ignorance. I think sometimes that people just dont think about what they say before they say it and sometimes it just comes out wrong. Yes it's annoying but it doesn't necessarily mean that she's straight up racist.

I once met a woman who I spoke to for an hour or so before I spoke Spanish to my mother (who also speaks fluent english but were so accustomed to speaking spanish that we unknowingly switch back and forth without noticing) and she said "Oh you speak Mexican. That's nice". It wasn't meant to sound rude so I wasn't rude to her in any way but I couldn't resist correcting her. I simply said "Oh, you mean Spanish" she looked at me for a second and asked if I was from Spain. I laughed lightheartedly and just said "No hun, whether you're from Spain or from Mexico the language is still called Spanish". She then asked me if I was Mexican and I told her that my parents were both from Mexico and she looked confused and then said "so you are Mexican too then?" to Which I said "well, I'm of Mexican decent but I was born here and consider myself an American" and she just said "Oh, that makes sense" and laughed it off.

So sometimes people really don't think about things like that because they just don't think about it but it's not like thy mean to be rude.

[missnikki]

Yes alot of it has to do with ignorance. I think sometimes that people just dont think about what they say before they say it and sometimes it just comes out wrong. Yes it's annoying but it doesn't necessarily mean that she's straight up racist.

That's what I was trying to say, but you nailed it.

[PeanutsGalore]

True, they do. But an ignorant person might not like he strong accent.

Look, I'm not trying to excuse the woman, and I would have felt awkward too for all the reasons many of you have pointed out, that it would be beneficial to the child in the long run...totally agree...and I personally HATE racism...but I did not get that she was complaining about race. It is circumstantial that language barriers are hand in hand with unfamiliar cultures. This idiot parent just sounded double bad when speaking about the communication concern.

I know this is an odd-man-out opinion on this one. I am still trying to find the underlying racism that the mom in mommabear's post had...that deserved the accusation and the blatant comment 'wait till she sees my husband, haha..." I think that was uncalled for.

K, I can see your point. But I also have to say, one of the things about my new client (who I LOVE and would work with for free if I could afford it) is that she told me (in an almost shameful way) that my coherent and grammatically correct message to her is one of the things that drew her to me. In this day and age, that has become almost a cultural sort of thing, because due to text messaging and the rise of the computer age in general, the younger generations speak in a different "language" than the older ones do. Personally, I think if someone is in business, they should speak English. Fluently. And they should be able to write fluent english as well. Or spanish. Or whatever language they are doing business in. My new client happened to feel the same way.

I don't necessarily reject other clients because they write in a way that I would consider illiterate, even if they're following the rules of a new dialect, but I wouldn't feel as close to them or as comfortable with them.

Same goes for this lady. She may not be a racist, and she may not have meant to come off as one, but by virtue of what she said and how she said it, she did, or at least called herself out as being an illiterate person. And anyone who is vetting prospective clients needs to pay attention to these sorts of things, because these are the clues that tell us whether or not people are the right clients for us.

I think the part that you're missing--that we're all missing--is being there in person. But be it right or wrong, some of us have enough experience with racism to fill in the gaps.

And again, I'd like to point out that anyone who lives in America and is uncomfortable with the spanish language is living in a cave. I learned spanish from Sesame street when I was a wee little one, and I am very far from being a wee little one any longer, and it's just become more familiar to me as I've gotten older. It's EVERYWHERE. To be uncomfortable with it is to be fighting against something that isn't worth fighting against. Why wouldn't you want your child to be bilingual with all of the intellectual benefits that come with? Smarter to teach them spanish along with english so they have a leg up in the coming generations.

Unless you just don't like people who speak spanish.

[MamaBear]

Yep

I think the part that you're missing--that we're all missing--is being there in person. But be it right or wrong, some of us have enough experience with racism to fill in the gaps.
.

Exactly