Prejudice Parents....

[Unregistered]

Obviously, I unregistered to post this question.

I REALLLLY need some kids for the summer. I met a mom today, her husband is in the military and serving in Asia. She's deeply religious, but I don't know what religion.

They would be here only for summer! That is so perfect!

But, then she kept saying "wow.. would my kids be the only all white kids in your group?" "How would you feel about that?"

I live in an area where blonde blue eyed kids is rare. They do stand out a little. Most of my kids are dark skinned. I have Asian kids, Hispanic kids, and Middle Eastern kids.. and just dark skinned kids with no ethnic background. So, yes, they would be the only blonde haired blue eyed kids in my group. I'd have never thought of that though.

I have blue eyes btw.

I REALLY need these kids though, so what would you do in this situation? Take them and set her straight if she brings it up again? Or turn them down and hope for the best?

[MamaBear]

Strange

I've had people say weird things like that too here. I have a mixed group... half black, hispanic, white, asian... I had a new family just start here and she says to me "Oh I'm so glad we found you because every other daycare around here only speaks Mexican" ... I said "you mean Spanish?" . She said "Yeah everyone around here is Mexican and I was so glad to find a white daycare provider who speaks English. Then she tells me about a daycare that she almost went to, but she realized at the tour that the provider was Jamaican and she felt like that would be "awkward"... Shes white with blonde hair by the way.

I then tell her "well I'm actually half Mexican & half Scottish... so I guess you scored for half of me"... She was blushing and trying to fix what she said by saying "oh you know what I mean... Its just a barrier with language is all". I get it, but its always surprising to me what these people say without thinking. Wait till she realizes that my husband is African American! She hasnt seen him yet. hahaha

[Zoe]

I've had people say weird things like that too here. I have a mixed group... half black, hispanic, white, asian... I had a new family just start here and she says to me "Oh I'm so glad we found you because every other daycare around here only speaks Mexican" ... I said "you mean Spanish?" . She said "Yeah everyone around here is Mexican and I was so glad to find a white daycare provider who speaks English. Then she tells me about a daycare that she almost went to, but she realized at the tour that the provider was Jamaican and she felt like that would be "awkward"... Shes white with blonde hair by the way.

I then tell her "well I'm actually half Mexican & half Scottish... so I guess you scored for half of me"... She was blushing and trying to fix what she said by saying "oh you know what I mean... Its just a barrier with language is all". I get it, but its always surprising to me what these people say without thinking. Wait till she realizes that my husband is African American! She hasnt seen him yet. hahaha

That'll be a fun shock! Hehe.

[missnikki]

Why would it matter to her if she was commenting on the language barrier? Might you be making it into something it isn't?

[nannyde]

That's a deal breaker for me. I would be offended by the question. What difference does it make if they are the only white kids?

[SunflowerMama]

That's a deal breaker for me. I would be offended by the question. What difference does it make if they are the only white kids?

I agree with Nan...that stuff doesn't fly with me at all.

[sharlan]

I would have told her that it would be a great opportunity to be exposed to other cultures.

I've had white, black, Asian, Saudi Arabian, and Mexican all at the same time. No big deal. Two of my grandkids are 1/4 Korean. Their dad has blonde hair and blue eyes.

[nannyde]

I agree with Nan...that stuff doesn't fly with me at all.

I don't mean to be hateful but honestly this sickens me. It really does.

I don't like it at all. What kind of crazy makes you even THINK that stuff much less SAY it to someone.

[Unregistered]

I don't mean to be hateful but honestly this sickens me. It really does.

I don't like it at all. What kind of crazy makes you even THINK that stuff much less SAY it to someone.

And, honestly, I never even noticed that none of my kids were "white" until she pointed it out.

[MamaBear]

No I got it.

Why would it matter to her if she was commenting on the language barrier? Might you be making it into something it isn't?

Well when the DCM is straight out telling me that she is so glad she found that I'm a "white daycare provider" vs what she had found before, then that sounds a little on the racist side to me... And then she tried to 'fix' what she had already said by saying it was due to a language barrier. Guess you had to be there to get it!

[nannyde]

Well when the DCM is straight out telling me that she is so glad she found that I'm a "white daycare provider" vs what she had found before, then that sounds a little on the racist side to me... And then she tried to 'fix' what she had already said by saying it was due to a language barrier. Guess you had to be there to get it!

Unbelievable

If you care what color I am and what color my son and my dck's are then you can go somewhere else.

Rediculous

[MamaBear]

Exactly

Unbelievable

If you care what color I am and what color my son and my dck's are then you can go somewhere else.

Rediculous

It made me mad too. I think she felt kind of lame after she babbled so much ignorance... so hopefully that wont happen again. Her son is such a sweet baby and doing so good here - so I'll let her ding-dong comment slide for his sake

[GretasLittleFriends]

I live in the northern half of Minnesota (still considered central) and out in the country... Lots of farmers around me. Anyway, all of my dc kids are white, and most are blue eyed (some brown hair, some blondes).

A while back I had a boy (7) who's mom was white and dad was black. This other dcb (5) was so amazed when we were outside and 7yr old took his shoes and socks off that his feet were brown. 7yr old was sliding on the slide and his shirt rode up 5yr old was amazed that 7yr old had a brown belly-button. It was obviously the first time this 5yr old had seen a person with a different colored skin. He thought it was absolutely cool, the 7yr old thought the 5yr old was weird. That day we looked at some pictures online of different people with all kinds of different skin, hair color and eye color. After that first day the topic has never come up again.

[momofsix]

To the OP, to me that comment sounds more like ignorance than a racial slur, although only you heard the tone of her voice. I really try hard to see the person's heart...is it full of hate, does she really not know how she sounded, has she never been around other cultures???
I would give her a chance. It would be a great opportunity for her child to create bonds with people that don't look like he does, and that will effect him forever. Just think of the life he would lead if he only has white friends, caregivers...and so on. You have the opportunity to hopefully change this families outlook in a positive way

[QualiTcare]

this is interesting. i don't think people would be so upset by this if it were an african american mother who didn't want her child to be the only african american. it's pretty common for african americans to consider demographics when choosing a school (or daycare) because they don't want their child to be the only one who is "different." most colleges have separate fraternities/sororities for african americans. you'll see an african american (and others) be members of the "white frats/sororities" but you'll never see a white person be a member of a "black frat/sorority." but why have separate groups? it's definitely not bc they have to. it's because they CHOOSE to. they like the camaraderie that comes with being "the same."

do i think she should not send her child to the daycare bc they'll be the "only white kids"? no, i really don't. however, i think it's completely natural to notice it and have "concerns" for lack of a better word. i think anyone (i don't care what ethnicity) would be lying if they said they didn't notice their child was the only white, black, hispanic, etc.