Angry!

[Meeko]

I am a firm believer in kindness. Nasty notes? Slamming doors in faces? Tape and super glue? Why not take the high road and personally tell him why you have this policy? (Btw, seems like a silly policy). As a business person, I would never be rude or nasty. Why would this dad want to have someone so mean and angry care for his child? I wouldn't. You get a lot further with sugar and honey than piss and vinegar. Finally, there are WAY more things in the daycare world to get angry about, liked bounced checks and no-notice-quitters. Why expend so much energy being angry about a granola bar?

It's not the granola bar...it's the principle. I have a note on the door asking them to NOT bring food. Yet he grins at me with a "in your face" attitude and walks off. HE is the rude one not me. This is MY house. I am a business woman too. That does not mean I am willing to be walked all over.

Nor is it silly to ask for parents to abide by the rules. I am on the food program. The USDA requires all children to have the same food. I had a drop in inspection a short while ago and while she was here, a child arrived with a bag of cookies and the inspector was not a happy camper. I passed the inspection...but she explained that if I didn't follow all the rules of the program.....I could not BE on the program and gave me a verbal warning. If you are removed for any reason you can never be allowed back on. Now losing that money is about $1000 per month of my income. I am not about to lose that much money because some rude father thinks that the day care rules don't apply to him!

And you mentioned more important things like bounced checks etc. Exactly... if he thinks he can balk at one rule....why can't he balk at them all? I will lay the ground rules to my business and stick to them or I will be walked all over. I've done this for 25 years. I am well known in the area for running a good facility and if he doesn't like my rules...there are others ready and eager to take his place.

I am NOT his employee. And I will not let a man half my age be so disrespectful to me.

I am not a cruel and heartless woman! But I am one who demands respect.


By the way...the notice on the door does explain WHY I am enforcing the policy. He just chooses to be difficult and I will not stand for it and will tell him so. Sadly...many of the veteran providers on here will back me up about being "anal" about rules. If we aren't......we get taken advantage of. Years and years of dealing with parents who will try EVERYTHING to NOT follow rules will drive you crazy unless you set the rules in stone and grow a very strong and hard backbone.

[Meeko]

To my day care kids and most of their parents... I am a big fluffy, easy going teddy bear.

To some of the parents I can be a grizzly bear. It's up to them.

[daycare]

It's not the granola bar...it's the principle. I have a note on the door asking them to NOT bring food. Yet he grins at me with a "in your face" attitude and walks off. HE is the rude one not me. This is MY house. I am a business woman too. That does not mean I am willing to be walked all over.

Nor is it silly to ask for parents to abide by the rules. I am on the food program. The USDA requires all children to have the same food. I had a drop in inspection a short while ago and while she was here, a child arrived with a bag of cookies and the inspector was not a happy camper. I passed the inspection...but she explained that if I didn't follow all the rules of the program.....I could not BE on the program and gave me a verbal warning. If you are removed for any reason you can never be allowed back on. Now losing that money is about $1000 per month of my income. I am not about to lose that much money because some rude father thinks that the day care rules don't apply to him!

And you mentioned more important things like bounced checks etc. Exactly... if he thinks he can balk at one rule....why can't he balk at them all? I will lay the ground rules to my business and stick to them or I will be walked all over. I've done this for 25 years. I am well known in the area for running a good facility and if he doesn't like my rules...there are others ready and eager to take his place.

I am NOT his employee. And I will not let a man half my age be so disrespectful to me.

I am not a cruel and heartless woman! But I am one who demands respect.


By the way...the notice on the door does explain WHY I am enforcing the policy. He just chooses to be difficult and I will not stand for it and will tell him so. Sadly...many of the veteran providers on here will back me up about being "anal" about rules. If we aren't......we get taken advantage of. Years and years of dealing with parents who will try EVERYTHING to NOT follow rules will drive you crazy unless you set the rules in stone and grow a very strong and hard backbone.

you go girl................

[texascare]

It's not the granola bar...it's the principle. I have a note on the door asking them to NOT bring food. Yet he grins at me with a "in your face" attitude and walks off. HE is the rude one not me. This is MY house. I am a business woman too. That does not mean I am willing to be walked all over.

Nor is it silly to ask for parents to abide by the rules. I am on the food program. The USDA requires all children to have the same food. I had a drop in inspection a short while ago and while she was here, a child arrived with a bag of cookies and the inspector was not a happy camper. I passed the inspection...but she explained that if I didn't follow all the rules of the program.....I could not BE on the program and gave me a verbal warning. If you are removed for any reason you can never be allowed back on. Now losing that money is about $1000 per month of my income. I am not about to lose that much money because some rude father thinks that the day care rules don't apply to him!

And you mentioned more important things like bounced checks etc. Exactly... if he thinks he can balk at one rule....why can't he balk at them all? I will lay the ground rules to my business and stick to them or I will be walked all over. I've done this for 25 years. I am well known in the area for running a good facility and if he doesn't like my rules...there are others ready and eager to take his place.

I am NOT his employee. And I will not let a man half my age be so disrespectful to me.

I am not a cruel and heartless woman! But I am one who demands respect.


By the way...the notice on the door does explain WHY I am enforcing the policy. He just chooses to be difficult and I will not stand for it and will tell him so. Sadly...many of the veteran providers on here will back me up about being "anal" about rules. If we aren't......we get taken advantage of. Years and years of dealing with parents who will try EVERYTHING to NOT follow rules will drive you crazy unless you set the rules in stone and grow a very strong and hard backbone.

I agree completly! It isn't a silly rule. I have the same rule as do most providers. Stick to your guns. Itreally irritates me though when parents are disrespectful to me. I am Professional to them and I expect the same in return!

[grandmom]

Wait.

No one has talked about the child. When you hand it back to him, tell him it's a really hard thing to do to his child. To hand her something he knows she can't have at daycare. Put his guilt where it belongs - what he did to his child.

[Meeko]

Wait.

No one has talked about the child. When you hand it back to him, tell him it's a really hard thing to do to his child. To hand her something he knows she can't have at daycare. Put his guilt where it belongs - what he did to his child.

Actually she didn't give a hoot! I told her I was going to put it in her cubby and give it back to dad when he came to pick her up. She said "OK!" and skipped off!

[nannyde]

Wait.

No one has talked about the child. When you hand it back to him, tell him it's a really hard thing to do to his child. To hand her something he knows she can't have at daycare. Put his guilt where it belongs - what he did to his child.

It's not about the child. It's about the parent.

Parents want to get their kid to day care in the morning without having to listen to them fuss after they receive a NO.

It's ALL about the parent. If it were about the kid it would be about nutrition. This isn't about her having food. It's about him bargaining with her to give her a treat so she won't cry.

Most granola bars are FILLED with sugar and fatty oils. They are a treat just like a candy bar.

[Meeko]

It's not about the child. It's about the parent.

Parents want to get their kid to day care in the morning without having to listen to them fuss after they receive a NO.

It's ALL about the parent. If it were about the kid it would be about nutrition. This isn't about her having food. It's about him bargaining with her to give her a treat so she won't cry.

Most granola bars are FILLED with sugar and fatty oils. They are a treat just like a candy bar.

Exactly. She's a good girl for me...but she runs her father in circles. (She's 4) She'll come dressed in the most absurd outfits sometimes. He'll say "I dressed her, but she took those clothes off and refused to get in the car unless she wore these ones...." I am sure she refused to get in the car without the granola bar and it never dawned on him to simply be the father and say NO! Easier to let me deal with her here. But it's HIM I'll be dealing with! LOL!

[3kidzmama]

As a future provider preparing to open, and planning to join the food program, I have a question.... If you were to simply remove the item from the child and place it in their cubby, would the food program check the cubbies if they were to show up? I'm just curious how in depth the food program people are when they come. Do they merely observe, or do they go through cubbies, cabinets, etc.?

[daycare]

It all depends on the site monitor. Mine is really chill. She only wants to watch me prep the food and serve it. She is there to make sure that i am serving the right foods properly and the right amounts at the right times..

But you never know what they will do.

I heard that one time a lady from LIC came into a DC (not mine) and went through all of the cubbies and found a ****er in one of the boxes. She wrote the perovider up for a chocking hazard..........ugh

this is why we have rules and EVERYONE follows them

[Unregistered]

Its not a stupid rule at all!! Many kids have allergies and some child bringing in food from home could put others at risk. Parents need to listen. There are reasons we have rules in our daycares and they are ALL for the safety of the children!
Definitely hand it back to dad at the end of the day, next time....well I like the garbage can under the sign idea.

[GretasLittleFriends]

Not to mention...

DCK: "I want a granola bar."
Provider: "I don't have any granola bars."
DCK: "Billy has a granola bar, I want one too. How come you gave him one and won't give me one."
Provider: "Billy's dad gave him the granola bar."
DCK: "It's not fair, I want one too!!!!!!!"

Followed by a total melt down because you didn't have a granola bar for Johnny, Susie, Jimmy, Sally, and Ike.

[countrymom]

you ladies are way too nice. I would have given the child chocolate, and let it melt in her hands just as dad was coming up the door, push her out the door with those yummy delicious hands so she can smear it all over him and the car, "oh, whats that no food in the car allowed" bahhahaha!!!

[MN Day Mom]

If you are removed for any reason you can never be allowed back on. Now losing that money is about $1000 per month of my income. I am not about to lose that much money because some rude father thinks that the day care rules don't apply to him!

Back up... really you make $1000 per month on the food program?? Wow!

I agree it isn't a silly rule... the majority of providers have that rule. That said, the food program really wouldn't or at least shouldn't have an issue with it. If that became the child's breakfast or a snack you could just not document her for that meal.

I have that rule, however I do give exceptions when needed. I have one little guy whose parents decided not to participate in the food program as they wanted to provide all of their childs food.

So... has dad came to pick her up yet? What did you do? I do agree that you don't have to be nasty nasty... but yes, demand respect!!

[dEHmom]

while i like a lot of the suggestions on here, especially the closing the door in his face after a big smile.

BUT i feel this may also create a war. As much as we all would like to do this stuff, it is a business, we want to be treated as such, as professionals.

Once again, I would LOVE to do all the suggestions on here, however, i think simply handing it back and not saying anything, would prove a point and he will know that he lost. or even just saying, no food from home as you hand it back would suffice.