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Thank you all for your advice. I am the original poster of this post and I am just so frustrated with my son!
I will not blame other people for my son's inappropriate choices or actions and my child will respect and listen to his parents, his teachers, his bus driver......etc
At 7 years old, soon to be 8 he does not lack the maturity to know right from wrong and he should be able to listen. He is not 2 or 3 and I will not treat him like he is. I do have high expectations of my son and I want him to be a good person.
Some of you seem to think that I am being too harsh but it is my job as a parent to make sure he learns now that there are all kinds of people in this world and he needs to do the right thing and follow rules whether the others do or do not.
For the past several months he has been warned by my husband and I regarding his not listening to the bus driver for little things. Rather than write reports the bus driver chose to tell us in the hopes that we would deal with these things which we were doing. We support the bus driver as this is HIS bus, his rules. The poor guy has 30 kids to get safely to school. I am not doing my son any favors by taking my sons side and getting angry at the adults in his life who need to lay down the law. I will listen to what my son has to say but ultimately I will side with the grown up in charge.
We all do child care and we see all this happening day in and day out with our day parents where a dck tells them something that is not the way it was. We know how that works!! Parents take their kids side and poor Sally or Tommy, you actually said no to them and disciplined their kid how dare you?? That is why so many kids run their parents. Because parents allow it.
At first whenever we were told something we would speak with our son and explain why he was not allowed to stand, speak loudly to , throw things back to these other kids etc. on the bus yet still every so often he would "forget" so we started sending him to his room after school for a period of time and telling him that if these things continued he would be losing some items very dear to him.
Things would seem to get better for a period of time but then he would do something else that the bus driver had to speak with him about several times.
We are just done with our son doing things continually AFTER he has been told and explained the reasons why he can not do these things more than once or twice. He should not have to have things repeated to him constantly.
I think he needs to see that we mean business when we say "listen to the bus driver"
He does however do many of these things to get a reaction from 3 other boys who ride the bus as well. Like I said he is a show off and a follower. He will do anything to get attention from these kids who do "egg him on"
The swearing at the two boys and the suspension from riding the bus is the last straw. This is out of character for him and I was actually shocked and could not believe that he used the word that he did and he denied it at first. Then he admitted to me that he did. I may seem mean but he was warned that if he ever got suspended from riding the bus that he would lose everything! As badly as I feel about doing this, and I really do, I must follow through. This is going to be much harder on me than it is him trust me!
Monday Tuesday and Wednesday are the days that he will not be allowed to ride the bus.
These 3 days I must provide care and my day children start arriving at 6 30 am so driving him is not an option unless I cancel my days which will greatly inconvenience my parents. I will need to cancel 7 children!
Him walking to school is not an option because we live a 20 minute drive from the school so it would take a good 1 1/2 hour for him to get there by foot and where we live it would be a very long cold slippery walk this time of year.
My son will be sitting in his room at his desk doing school work from 9 am until 3 pm each of these days! It will not be fun to stay home with mommy trust me!
I have decided that he will lose everything! All his toys, his wii and all his wii games, ds and ds games, all his music (ipod) his TV etc for 2 weeks.
He will be allowed to read books or draw pictures or be just be involved in conversation with us from the time he gets off the bus each day which is roughly 4 pm until we eat at 6. So for 2 hours a day for 2 weeks to not have his things is not that harsh of a punsihment and he will see that I mean business.
After 2 weeks he will be able to earn things back.
I will be speaking with the bus driver daily as well as getting a daily report from his teacher each day. Each day that he has earned it he will be allowed to watch a 1/2 hour tv show until the end of this school year. He may or may not be allowed more TV time after school is done for the year but we will see how it goes.
This is not going to kill him and in my opinion will make him a better little person who is likeable by all adults.
I will not blame other people for my son's inappropriate choices or actions and my child will respect and listen to his parents, his teachers, his bus driver......etc
At 7 years old, soon to be 8 he does not lack the maturity to know right from wrong and he should be able to listen. He is not 2 or 3 and I will not treat him like he is. I do have high expectations of my son and I want him to be a good person.
Some of you seem to think that I am being too harsh but it is my job as a parent to make sure he learns now that there are all kinds of people in this world and he needs to do the right thing and follow rules whether the others do or do not.
For the past several months he has been warned by my husband and I regarding his not listening to the bus driver for little things. Rather than write reports the bus driver chose to tell us in the hopes that we would deal with these things which we were doing. We support the bus driver as this is HIS bus, his rules. The poor guy has 30 kids to get safely to school. I am not doing my son any favors by taking my sons side and getting angry at the adults in his life who need to lay down the law. I will listen to what my son has to say but ultimately I will side with the grown up in charge.
We all do child care and we see all this happening day in and day out with our day parents where a dck tells them something that is not the way it was. We know how that works!! Parents take their kids side and poor Sally or Tommy, you actually said no to them and disciplined their kid how dare you?? That is why so many kids run their parents. Because parents allow it.
At first whenever we were told something we would speak with our son and explain why he was not allowed to stand, speak loudly to , throw things back to these other kids etc. on the bus yet still every so often he would "forget" so we started sending him to his room after school for a period of time and telling him that if these things continued he would be losing some items very dear to him.
Things would seem to get better for a period of time but then he would do something else that the bus driver had to speak with him about several times.
We are just done with our son doing things continually AFTER he has been told and explained the reasons why he can not do these things more than once or twice. He should not have to have things repeated to him constantly.
I think he needs to see that we mean business when we say "listen to the bus driver"
He does however do many of these things to get a reaction from 3 other boys who ride the bus as well. Like I said he is a show off and a follower. He will do anything to get attention from these kids who do "egg him on"
The swearing at the two boys and the suspension from riding the bus is the last straw. This is out of character for him and I was actually shocked and could not believe that he used the word that he did and he denied it at first. Then he admitted to me that he did. I may seem mean but he was warned that if he ever got suspended from riding the bus that he would lose everything! As badly as I feel about doing this, and I really do, I must follow through. This is going to be much harder on me than it is him trust me!
Monday Tuesday and Wednesday are the days that he will not be allowed to ride the bus.
These 3 days I must provide care and my day children start arriving at 6 30 am so driving him is not an option unless I cancel my days which will greatly inconvenience my parents. I will need to cancel 7 children!
Him walking to school is not an option because we live a 20 minute drive from the school so it would take a good 1 1/2 hour for him to get there by foot and where we live it would be a very long cold slippery walk this time of year.
My son will be sitting in his room at his desk doing school work from 9 am until 3 pm each of these days! It will not be fun to stay home with mommy trust me!
I have decided that he will lose everything! All his toys, his wii and all his wii games, ds and ds games, all his music (ipod) his TV etc for 2 weeks.
He will be allowed to read books or draw pictures or be just be involved in conversation with us from the time he gets off the bus each day which is roughly 4 pm until we eat at 6. So for 2 hours a day for 2 weeks to not have his things is not that harsh of a punsihment and he will see that I mean business.
After 2 weeks he will be able to earn things back.
I will be speaking with the bus driver daily as well as getting a daily report from his teacher each day. Each day that he has earned it he will be allowed to watch a 1/2 hour tv show until the end of this school year. He may or may not be allowed more TV time after school is done for the year but we will see how it goes.
This is not going to kill him and in my opinion will make him a better little person who is likeable by all adults.
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