Son Kicked Off School Bus WWYD?

[Unregistered]

I have a 7 year old son who is basically a very good sweet little boy, although he does have his moments. He is super when he is home with me but often gets into trouble as he is very easily led by other kids and likes to show off. He is unfortunately a follower not a leader. :-(

We have 3 boys who live in our neighborhood who ride the school bus with him whom I do not allow my son to hang with as they are not nice boys. These boys are not allowed anywhere near our property and there are other neighbors of ours who are the same way with these boys. The boys have little to no parental supervision and are allowed to pretty much do as they please.

For the past few months my son has been having problems on the school bus and all of the episodes included these boys as well. My son has been told by my husband and I to stay away from these boys! He does at home!

These problems on the bus were mostly with sitting still/standing up, not staying in his seat, tossing things like his hat, mittens yelling/speaking loudly to the other children etc.

My husband and I have spoken with him several times regarding this and have threatened him with him losing EVERYTHING he owns should he ever end up being suspended from riding the bus. Yesterday morning the bus driver handed my husband a report which will result in my son being suspended from the bus for 3 days.

My plan is this. Tonight when my daycare children are all gone for the evening my husband and I ARE going to remove everything from his room except for his bed and his dresser. My son will be allowed no TV at ALL for 2 weeks as well. After 2 weeks he will be allowed to watch one half hour tv show per day but ONLY if he earns the right to do so. If he has good days at school and on the bus only then has he earned the right to watch TV. Also after 2 weeks we are going to start allowing him to earn back his belongings one item at a time.


We are supposed to drive him to school for these 3 days however I refuse to do so! Being driven to school is something he will enjoy too much so I don't see the point in driving him. I have decided that he is going to remain home, in his room doing school work from the time he is supposed to be in school until the time he is to return home. So from 9 am until 3 pm my son will be doing school work and will not be allowed to leave his room.

What would you all do in a situation such as this?

OH this time he received a bus report for "exchanging inappropriate language with another student" which in my opinion is totally not acceptable!!

The boys who he is not allowed to hang with sit directly across from him on the bus and one of these boys were the ones he was exchanging words with.

I am not blaming anyone but my son for this as it was he was the one who made the choice to do such thing.


I am a registered user I am just using my laptop right now and don't remember my password which is saved on my home computer so I have not been able to log in from here.

[cheerfuldom]

I would not keep him home from school. If at all possible, I would drive him to and from school knowing that his is not mature enough to resist so much peer pressure (with no supervision on the bus), especially if they have assigned seats. I would give him a consequence but stripping his room bare and having the punishment drag on for weeks is too severe for the age as far as I am concerned. Yes he choose to behave so but you have to remember that he is seven. He doesn't have the impulse control or maturity to make great choices right now especially considering his personality of being a follower. I would give him a consequence but overall, I think you are being too harsh.

[jen]

In addition to everything else you are doing, I would ask the bus driver to save my child the seat directly behind him for the remainder of the school year.

[jessrlee]

In addition to everything else you are doing, I would ask the bus driver to save my child the seat directly behind him for the remainder of the school year.

I totally agree with this!

I am a really really mean mom. I would work out a deal with the school, I would ride the bus to and from school with ds for a week and work on his bus behavior. I would then tell him for ever note home, he would need a reminder course.

I agree that the older kids are egging him on, but he has to learn to ignore him or some day someone could help him get into really big trouble.

[Unregistered]

In addition to everything else you are doing, I would ask the bus driver to save my child the seat directly behind him for the remainder of the school year.

I like this idea! I would drive him to school so he doesn't miss school b/c he may do other naughty things later in life assuming he will get out of school.

I would try to find a way he can "repay" you for your trouble of driving him to school. Washing your vehicle, use his allowance for gas, etc. Make him do some community service preferably at/for the bus company where the offense took place. Intentionally schedule it at a time where it forces him to miss out on something else he really wanted to do (b-day party, hockey, etc). Love and logic stresses that you need to make mistakes their problem not yours and they will learn how inconvienient it can be to break rules. Google them for more info- they have a great website.

[DBug]

I have a friend whose child was also suspended from the bus. She made him walk to school while driving right beside him (he was in gr. 2 or 3 at the time). It was a good couple of miles to and from school, but he never got kicked off the bus again

The other punishments are a bit harsh though, like PP said. If you threatened it, then you've got to follow through, but for next time I would suggest picking a more natural consequence ... like walking to school for getting kicked off the bus. If he gets to stay home or gets a lift from you, it may be more of a positive thing for him, rather than a negative ...

[Jewels]

I totally agree with this!

I am a really really mean mom. I would work out a deal with the school, I would ride the bus to and from school with ds for a week and work on his bus behavior. I would then tell him for ever note home, he would need a reminder course.

I agree that the older kids are egging him on, but he has to learn to ignore him or some day someone could help him get into really big trouble.

I think riding the bus with him would be really cruel to the child, Seat behind the bus driver that I would do, but by having mommy on the bus with him, He would be ridiculed so much by the kids, that it would just be mean, and I know you said your mean, but this would give other children way to much ammo, and could just send the kid home crying everyday,,,,way to far. And anyways it would do no good, he would never even move a muscle with you there, he needs to learn to behave well without his mom by his side, he already knows how to behave with his mom by his side.

[mac60]

What happened to the other kids involved. It does matter. While I understand your child was wrong in exchanging words, just what was said to him for the word exchange.

My theory is it always takes 2 to tango, and there needs to be a consequence for the others involved also. The other boys should be in assigned seats as well as your son. Action needs to be taken on all involved, not just 1 child.

And lastly, why did the driver allow things to go this far? Years ago my son got in trouble on the bus and suspended for 3 days, the other kid involved got nothing. That in itself is wrong....both boys need to be addressed and given the same punishment. It takes two, unless you stand in front of a mirror and argue/fight with yourself. The kid my son got in trouble with was a trouble maker,,,,,he was always picking fights, then would cry wolf to mommy.

[youretooloud]

You asked WWYD... So, this is truly JUST what I would do. Not what is necessarily right. It's just what I'd do.
He'd go to school.

OR.. if I couldn't drive him to school. (I had too many daycare kids by the time school started, so I wouldn't have been able to drive them) If I couldn't drive him to school.. he'd know THAT is why he's sitting at home in his room. Not that "you were bad, I'm not letting you go to school" but, "You made the choice to get thrown off the bus, and I CAN'T take you or pick you up, so you have to sit at home instead...BUT, lucky boy that you are, you are going to be doing makeup work for your teacher for over a week, because she's going to save each and every page you are missing in a little folder and we'll just add that to your homework". Yay for long nights of makeup work.

I wouldn't (again, this is just me) I wouldn't take anything else away from him, unless it had something to do with his crime. So, taking his toys away wouldn't really fit the crime. But, Making him walk to school would. *obviously I have no idea how far away the school is*

[countrymom]

ok, my kids drive the bus. First, if you and the bus driver knew this was going on (issues) why didn't you or the driver move your child. We've had problems that I had to speak to the driver to move my child because of the nonsense. Also, what happened to the other child, did he get suspended. And if nothing is done about the problem why are you not going up higher to the company and compaining.
As for the punishment, I don't believe in removing furniture, because I think this issue could have been avoided and you should have done something, yes I know it sounds like I'm mean, but I have 4 kids who ride the bus so I know what its like, you need to stay on top of these things. Also, your boys is 7, (my ds is 8) sometimes they just don't understand. I would make him walk to school, to me that is enough punishment. save the removing the furniture and tv time for something bigger. Make the punishment fit the crime. (we live in the county, imagine the walk my kids would have to take, but this is the punishment for missing the bus too)

[laundrymom]

I would do as you planned but make him walk to school beside you driving. It took my oldest walking once to cure all four of mine from behavior on the bus. I would also request sitting directly behind the driver from now on.

[momatheart]

By everything I assume you mean extras like tv, games, all the entertainment stuff in his room. Not harsh.

I would sit down and tell him that after thinking about taking all his stuff out of his room that you have decided that this would be a better fit:

Walking to school while you drive beside him. And He will have a new seat behind the bus driver for the rest of the school year. (this would be enough to straighten me out)

Wait upon thinking on this and doing what you say would do I would do what you originally said but add the walking and assigned seat to the list.

[Lucy]

As far as mom riding the bus, I doubt this is allowed. The company that works for most of the school districts in my 3-county area does not allow ANY body but school kids on the bus. No exceptions except for emergency personnel, of course.

I like the idea of making him walk. It is a direct consequence of losing his bus privilege. The logic is -- you can't ride the bus, so you walk. Drive beside him, or have a friend, relative or neighbor drive beside him. But this is the most directly related punishment as far as I see it. I would also add some kind of extra chore at home. Losing tv privileges is good.

Whatever you tell him the punishment is - STICK TO IT!! That is the most important thing. Even if you second-guess yourself, or he seems like he has learned his lesson after half the amount of time, it doesn't matter. Stick to what you said from the beginning.

Chicago? I just noticed my info says I live in Chicago??? And that picture is not one I picked either. Where did all this come from Michael???

[jessrlee]

I'm sorry if I offended you. My point is that my child getting kicked off the bus would affect a lot of people. It would affect the school, the poor bus driver that has to deal with an awful lot from kids, myself, my spouse, my daycare families. That is an awful lot of people to affect because you didn't behave. The OP certainly has a lot of good advice to follow. Sorry again for stirring the pot.

[Unregistered]

I wouldn't do any of what you are planning.

I would go to the school and stick up for my son, ask that he be kept away from the other boys and FIND A WAY to take him to and from school myself. If it means getting an assistant, so be it. This is YOUR kid.

If problems continue I would consider changing schools or home schooling.

I would sit down tonight with him and get HIS side of the story.

Ask him to tell you what he could have done about the situation that would not have broken the rules.

If he can't tell you, help him come up with a plan, and alternative and a back up.

Ask him to tell you who he can ask for help on the way to, from and at school.

If he can't name these people, tell him who they are, and go with him to make sure they know who they are.

Do not leave him unattended in the presence of these other kids, and do not punish him further.