11.5 Hours A Day In Daycare?

[Cat Herder]

Don't be judgemental, ask first, evaluate, then offer a final answer. thanks kitty kat 30

No thanks.

I already did the hard work of planning for then having kids on purpose, building my own business and raising my children to adulthood myself. I will not change my policies for people who don't or won't do the same.

There are already plenty of subsidy programs for the hypothetical people you are talking about.

Being disrespectful to the moderators could get you banned, tread lightly.

[Blackcat31]

Ok, so we're not talking about my situation, it was hypothetical

Some people just don't have that option. Dads can be scumbags. Hell, a number of reasons why she needs her kids to be in daycare that long. Do you know? I don't think so. Have compassion. And personally, I don't think a forty-five minute wait is too bad. However, there needs to be rules. If she had gone past that forty-five minute mark, then say you can't do this anymore. Daycare centers get paid quite the amount. Forty-five minutes is not too bad for someone who needs the help. Don't be judgemental, ask first, evaluate, then offer a final answer. thanks kitty kat 30

Is this a fact or another assumption?

Don't be judgemental.

....and for the record, I wasn't being snarky to you in my response so please save the sarcasm, it's not appreciated when discussing important parent obligations.

[boy_mom]

Have compassion. And personally, I don't think a forty-five minute wait is too bad.

We have plenty of compassion, the majority of us feel for parents who are trying to make it work and get by. That does not equate to granting each and every request from a client.

You say another 45 minutes isn't a long time, but it really is after you worked a 10 hour day. We also work with multiple families at a time, who all have needs outside what we offer. At what point does it end granting special requests??

Where is the compassion for the provider who has already worked a long day, who still has another hour of cleaning/sanitizing and paperwork once the families have gone home for the night?

Where is the compassion for our own families who have been waiting all day for our attention and care?

That "compassion" ish goes both ways my friend.....

[hwichlaz]

can I ask you a question? Have you ever been a single parent?

Right? I was married for 15 years. I didn't leave him. He left us. If I couldn't do childcare anymore I'd have to work two 30 hour per week jobs to keep us out of a cardboard box. My mom had to do the same. We're very close, always have been. I would have loved more time with her...but I wasn't angry about not getting it. And the time we did have, she was even tempered, pleasant, loving, and attentive. No matter how exhausted she was. She's my hero, to this day.

[Ariana]

If you are a single parent and the other parent skipped town or is dead and you are a nurse/firefighter/surgeon then yeah I totally get it. I am not talking about you. I am talking about people I have personally interviewed needing 10-12 hours of care for absolutely no logical reason.

Just had an interview, they needed 10 hours of care. Mom is a manager at a drugstore, dad owns his own paving business. They can’t stagger their hours? They both work 10 hours a day? Don’t think so. I have worked retail so I know the difference, and managers generally get there first in the morning and then leave early.

Anyway I feel like some people can think of any excuse as to why someone would need that much care...astronaut? But I am past being naive about 99% of parents intentions.

[Msdunny]

The older I get, the more I realize that my job (home daycare) cannot be my life. So I would never take on a client that needed me 60+ hours per week. my time is just too valuable to me. And I have raised too many kids whose parents value work time and 'getting ahead' over spending time with their own sweet little ones. The years pass too quickly. I get that for some folks, that is a necessity. I really do. So please don't 'yell'. But for me, it is just too much. My own family needs my attention, and my home needs to be a home.

So to answer your question, yes, I think 11.5 hours is too much time for a kiddo to be in daycare, and I would never take that client. But I am glad there are good providers out there who can and will. lovethis

[Mike]

I think it's simple. If a parent needs long hours, they just have to find a daycare that does offer long hours. Daycares that are open 10 hours, or only 2 hours, are open for that long by choice. Parents just need to find a daycare that can meet their needs. If there isn't one, that's not daycare providers faults.

[Dreamer0311]

There are MANY single parents that did not choose to be single yes it was both parties but things happen. Or maybe they did but hey that’s life. I have most that only stay for 8 hrs but two that stay for 12 hours. He pays me extra for the longer time and it isn’t the kids fault. When I was working out of the home our daycare opened at 6 am and closed at 6 pm so 12 hour operation. Also my husband is a police officer and works 12 hours not including his commute. Ofc we don’t have to worry about childcare because I run a daycare but if you want to take it on do but if not don’t if you are ok with going a litttle longer but need more money for the overage of 10 hours. If the program isn’t good then no I don’t think think it is to long. I mean I do but I don’t. I have mixed feelings about it. Not everyone can have the luxury of a 8 or 10 hour job. It’s when they start abusing the time and leaving them there longer then the agreed upon times.

[Mom2Two]

Well pretty much everyone has said most of the things I've been thinking as I read the thread over.

The only thing I would add is that I am pretty ticked at whoever is was that started the idea that we can do it all/have it all.

The biological reality is that it takes 20 or so years to raise a human being. There's lots of good data about the impact a good parent makes. But this reality seems to be consistently missing from all conversations about daycare/professions/life style.

Our life choices have more impact than just on the economy or our personal happiness. No one else can parent a child better than a committed parent.

[Dreamer0311]

Very well said and totally agree I wish life was easier where we could all find someway to work less but unfortunately it’s not the way.

[Snowmom]

Ok, so we're not talking about my situation, it was hypothetical

Some people just don't have that option. Dads can be scumbags. Hell, a number of reasons why she needs her kids to be in daycare that long. Do you know? I don't think so. Have compassion. And personally, I don't think a forty-five minute wait is too bad. However, there needs to be rules. If she had gone past that forty-five minute mark, then say you can't do this anymore. Daycare centers get paid quite the amount. Forty-five minutes is not too bad for someone who needs the help. Don't be judgemental, ask first, evaluate, then offer a final answer. thanks kitty kat 30

Personally, I don't give a rat's @$$ why you (general you) need daycare. I don't care what your story is. I don't care what woe-is-me, single-mom back history you have. I will never ask and I don't care to know.
If you don't fit with what my business has to offer, move on to someone who offers what you want (IF you can find it).

[MelissaP]

I agree with SnowMom 1000 percent! I don't care what life has thrown your way (it's all a choice. You know who you married, what job you have, what hours you have). My first husband was a drug addicted, over the road truck driver.. I made my life work for our kids (he was there but not really). When we split up, he took off for years before getting it together enough to be in his kids lives. I made it work for ME and the children. I knew who I married. I never could count on him. He bailed on his first kid.I knew who he was. I wasn't blinded by some superficial love. I made the decision to marry a drug addict. A guy that loved the road more then me. There was never a haze over that. BUT, I raised my kids. I never once had to put them in a child care facility for over two weeks because I made MY schedule work with someone else's so that my kids were raised by family. I worked retail most of my 20s and 30s. My hours were 7:00 - 3:30 every day and if my job couldn't extend those hours to me, I went elsewhere. My mother was also a single parent and I was in the care of her best friend for many years growing up. My mother made her hours work around what she could (the same 6:30 - 3:00 shift) so I was never without awake time with my mother. Using the single parent thing as an excuse is just that.. an excuse. Same goes when woman announce that they are "single parents" and looking for "affordable care". What does that mean? "Affordable care"? And why is this my problem? I still need to pay the bills.
My hours are from 7-5pm for a reason. I also want time with my children and my family. I don't want to be rushed to do anything in the evening. If that doesn't work for families, that's fine. I don't care. It works for 99 percent of the families that I am in the market for and if not.. there are centers around here that are open 6-6:30pm.
There are also 24 hour facilities that are open for the families that are healthcare providers, first responders and community services providers. I get it, I'm not hating on any of those individuals and am happy that we have those that provide those services. But please do not call me if you need hours outside of my 7-5. I will not take you. And I am working on becoming a provider that specializes i teacher care, so you may not call me if you are not a teacher or the like (I like my summers. LOL).

[Unregistered]

call me stupid, but if one parent works 12 hour shifts, then does the other parent also work 12 hours or do they work in the same place. Do you see what I mean. I find it hard to believe that both parents work 12 hour shift that begin and end at the same time.
Also, I agree with the comment about having kids. If your working 12 hour shifts now, more than likely they were working these shifts before they had children, so many parents know darn well what they are getting into.
Yes its sad that children spend so much time in the care of other people, what makes me more mad are the ones that then have the nerve to complain how bad their children are when they are acually with them.
also, another stupid question, many people who work 12 hour shifts have days off, usually they would work 3 12 hour shift and then have like 4 days off, kwim. What jobs offer long hours, nurses, cops, seasonal workers but what else.

What if its a single mother? How sympathetic can you be? Maybe shes working 2 jobs? Maybe they are widowed. Some of you all need to stop being so damn judgemental.

[Blackcat31]

What if its a single mother? How sympathetic can you be? Maybe shes working 2 jobs? Maybe they are widowed. Some of you all need to stop being so damn judgemental.

The poster you quoted is from 2011.


As for judgment....why is there an automatic assumption that being a single mother, a widow or a parent working 2 jobs that it should somehow impact the provider?

I offer services from X time to X time for a set fee.
I don't give discounts for being a single mother, a widow or the fact that you might work two jobs.

It has NOTHING to do with the services I offer.

Where does this sympathy you mention fit in?

I have a family.
I have bills to pay.
I may be married, single, divorced or widowed.
I might have a second or even a third job.

Your perspective is just as judgmental.

[Ac114]

What if its a single mother? How sympathetic can you be? Maybe shes working 2 jobs? Maybe they are widowed. Some of you all need to stop being so damn judgemental.

I am open 7am-5:30 pm. I have 3 children and a husband with 3 autoimmune diseases which has made him disabled. Why should I have sympathy for this so called single mom working 2 jobs or a widow. I have my fair share of family problems, responsibilities etc. my family needs me as well. If you hours don’t fit in hours of operation then oh well.