11.5 Hours A Day In Daycare?

[daycare]

You're right. Not every single parent HAS to work long hours. But, many prefer to not use government assistance.....like me. I made a CHOICE to have my child, so I owned the responsibility of caring for and providing for him. (disclaimer: I do not have a problem with people who NEED assistance recieving it, but when an able-bodied person relies on it when they could get a job, I do have a problem with it)

So, basically what has been said by you is, parents should think about such issues before they make the CHOICE to have children so that their kids don't have to be in daycare too many hours. But it's okay if they make the CHOICE to have those kids anyway, to go ahead and let the Gov. provide for them so they don't have to be in daycare too many hours? I'm not sure if that's what you are implying or not, so please, do clarify for me. (and I am not referring to your situation with your son....I think it was very noble of you to do what you did)

Maybe having English as a second language, I am not always best at writing. I do try my best.
I guess I don't really know how to explain my point, as I don't know what to say to NOT offend someone.

Everyone has a choice. to be a parent at 19 or at 39. There is not right or wrong time. It’s all about your path and what you chose for your family. But I do know this. If I had to go back and do it all over again, I wish that I was older when I had taken on the responsibility. I have no regrets, but I do always wonder what I could have made of myself if I finished college and started my career. I am now happily married and have more than I know what to do with, but this has nothing to do with this topic.

I had government assistance, you had your mom. I didn't have a mother to help me in the US. I had me. NO, I am not saying have kids so the gov. can provide for them. But if it weren't for our government, (yes I am an American citizen) I would have not been able to raise my child and this is what I wanted. Just as your or other's chose differently and ask for help from mom or DC providers. If I had a mom to help me back then, my mom would have helped, but I didn't. I had two choices, work super long days and never see my son and not get any help of any kind, rely on others to raise my child. Or I could work shorter days, go to school one day a week, as for temporary gov. help and I could raise my child. I chose #2............does not make me a better parent than anyone, it was just my choice.



I do feel it is said that there are SOME people who chose to work than to be with their kids.
In fact while I think of it, I have one family that has 2 kids. Only one is in my care, because I don't offer infant care. Mom and dad are both self employed, they live in one of the nicest neighborhoods around. They drive fancy cars and buy fancy clothes. Even though the mom only goes to work 3 days a week at her business she owns, her son is here every day from 8-5:30. This is what makes me sad.................

[QualiTcare]

I am just saying that not every single parent HAS to work long hours as stated...
Not every single mom has to work two jobs.

yeah, they can just get on welfare instead and then sit up on their high horse waving their food stamp card around while saying, "at least my child had ME!"

[daycare]

yeah, they can just get on welfare instead and then sit up on their high horse waving their food stamp card around while saying, "at least my child had ME!"

Yes there are low life’s out there who abuse the system, and there are people like ME who used the system to get somewhere in life. I have no respect for the person that works at 7-11, lives on welfare and has no plans to move out of their situation or are doing anything to get them self out of the situation.

I think that was a very unfair statement you made.

With that being said, I think we just need to realize that everyone’s life is like a puzzle piece. No two are ever alike, but somehow we all fit together. No one will ever have the same life as another and therefore we can sit here all day debating back and forth comparing apples to oranges and so forth.
I think I've stated my opinion way too much here and see it doesn't matter anyways, we all have different views. No one is right or wrong for this.

[QualiTcare]

Yes there are low lifes out there who abuse the system, and there are people like ME who used the system to get some where in life.

I think that was a very unfair statement you made.

either way you slice it, the system was getting used. i'm sorry, but once you said you got govt. assistance so you could be with your child, your whole opinion about parents being selfish by working long days went to hell in a handbasket.

i didn't have a mom to help either. not having a mom to help doesn't mean you default to welfare. it does mean for many people that you default to DAYCARE. you said yourself you wonder what your life would be if you had gone to college and had a career, etc. i don't have to wonder. yes, my kids went to daycare, but i still saw them every. single. day. and put them to bed every night, etc. it was hard, but guess what? my oldest is 6 years old and is lying here on my shoulder with my youngest lying on her lap with their dog sprawled out on top of both of them. point being - i made a SACRIFICE of time when they were younger so i didn't have to work a crappy job the rest of my life, get govt. assistance, and/or wonder what my life would be like had i gone to college. i sacrificed time THEN so i could have THIS right NOW. my kids won't remember not having money or long days in daycare and i won't have to look back and wonder what if. that beats the hell out of a childhood of poverty and an middle aged woman with unmet goals.

[daycare]

so can I ask what gov. asst is for then?

[QualiTcare]

it is to ASSIST, not to SUPPORT or REPLACE.

it is to be used ALONG WITH, not INSTEAD OF.

[Zoe]

I totally get people's low opinions of those who are on assistance because of the people who abuse it, but PLEASE don't generalize this to everyone!

My family has had the worst three years where we have not been able to pay our bills. We had to move because we were losing our home. And no, we're NOT low-lifes! We got struck down with the economy and bad timing on the housing market. We're only just now getting back on our feet and I pray to God that that never happens again.

We had to take some assistance to feed our children and darnit, we didn't want to tell anyone because we knew people would judge us and call us "low-lifes" like qualiT just did! Not okay!

Daycare, I don't see how you upset everyone. It seems to me that when these threads get heated, people don't stop to actually read what people are saying, they just go straight to judgment.

I'm not in the greatest mood today, so maybe I'm taking things a little too personally, but when I read statements generalizing people who really need help and heaven forbid, actually accept it, it really makes me mad.

[melskids]

the fact of the matter is no matter how we feel about how many hours the child is in our care, or why, its still going to be.

it is what it is.

i have some parents who use my services because they have to, and some because they choose to.

so for me, instead of wasting my energy on worrying about whether its right or wrong, i focus on making sure the child is getting the best possible care they can while they are with me.

i can lay my head down at night and know i did what was right for me, my family, and these kids while they're in my care.

whether or not the parent can do that, is their business, and not my place to judge.

JMO

[daycare]

it is to ASSIST, not to SUPPORT or REPLACE.

it is to be used ALONG WITH, not INSTEAD OF.

Exactly what I did and it does not make me a bad parent for choosing it either. You did what you had to do for you and your family just as I had to do for mine.

I didn’t ask to \be a parent at the age of 19, I chose to be one and proud of everything I did along the way, because I did it, not someone else. I guess that makes you a better person for choosing to work longer hours and forgo the assistance and me a low life for accepting the help and physically being there for my child. Our situations are nothing alike. You're children are being raised by YOU always and forever, I am raising a child that his mother can never be here for him and his father didn't want to be. So I don't think you can really compare your life to mine or anyone else’s for that matter.

[Crystal]

I totally get people's low opinions of those who are on assistance because of the people who abuse it, but PLEASE don't generalize this to everyone!

My family has had the worst three years where we have not been able to pay our bills. We had to move because we were losing our home. And no, we're NOT low-lifes! We got struck down with the economy and bad timing on the housing market. We're only just now getting back on our feet and I pray to God that that never happens again.

We had to take some assistance to feed our children and darnit, we didn't want to tell anyone because we knew people would judge us and call us "low-lifes" like qualiT just did! Not okay!

Daycare, I don't see how you upset everyone. It seems to me that when these threads get heated, people don't stop to actually read what people are saying, they just go straight to judgment.

I'm not in the greatest mood today, so maybe I'm taking things a little too personally, but when I read statements generalizing people who really need help and heaven forbid, actually accept it, it really makes me mad.

Your case is a prime example of a NEED for assistance. Qualitcare was referring to people who get assistance when they don't NEED it, they just don't TRY to find and keep work. Govt. assistance is made for situations like yours, and I am glad that it was there for your family when you NEEDED it. There is a big difference in someone losing their job and needing a helping hand and someone who just doesn't want to work getting it long-term.

[QualiTcare]

I totally get people's low opinions of those who are on assistance because of the people who abuse it, but PLEASE don't generalize this to everyone!

My family has had the worst three years where we have not been able to pay our bills. We had to move because we were losing our home. And no, we're NOT low-lifes! We got struck down with the economy and bad timing on the housing market. We're only just now getting back on our feet and I pray to God that that never happens again.

We had to take some assistance to feed our children and darnit, we didn't want to tell anyone because we knew people would judge us and call us "low-lifes" like qualiT just did! Not okay!

Daycare, I don't see how you upset everyone. It seems to me that when these threads get heated, people don't stop to actually read what people are saying, they just go straight to judgment.

I'm not in the greatest mood today, so maybe I'm taking things a little too personally, but when I read statements generalizing people who really need help and heaven forbid, actually accept it, it really makes me mad.

whoa, i didn't say everyone who gets assistance is a "low life." i don't even think that. i received assistance myself at one time! it wasn't cash payments, but still considered assistance.

i do think it's repulsive when someone uses assistance as an alternative to WORKING. there's a difference when someone works and TRIES and even still can't keep afloat and when someone doesn't get a job because they can get assistance INSTEAD. big difference, huge.

[QualiTcare]

Your case is a prime example of a NEED for assistance. Qualitcare was referring to people who get assistance when they don't NEED it, they just don't TRY to find and keep work. Govt. assistance is made for situations like yours, and I am glad that it was there for your family when you NEEDED it. There is a big difference in someone losing their job and needing a helping hand and someone who just doesn't want to work getting it long-term.

exactly! and not wanting to work because your child "needs you" isn't a good excuse for getting assistance to stay home IMO.

i just can't believe someone would say "why did they have children" or "why didn't they think about that before getting pregnant" and then turn around and have the nerve to stay they were a "stay at home mom" because they got welfare! just...wow.

[daycare]

Who said I didn't work? I just didn't work two jobs so I could go to schOol and be there for my son. Perhaps you missed that.

[QualiTcare]

Exactly what I did and it does not make me a bad parent for choosing it either. You did what you had to do for you and your family just as I had to do for mine.

I didn’t ask to \be a parent at the age of 19, I chose to be one and proud of everything I did along the way, because I did it, not someone else. I guess that makes you a better person for choosing to work longer hours and forgo the assistance and me a low life for accepting the help and physically being there for my child. Our situations are nothing alike. You're children are being raised by YOU always and forever, I am raising a child that his mother can never be here for him and his father didn't want to be. So I don't think you can really compare your life to mine or anyone else’s for that matter.

so, his mother died when he was 9 months old and you became his mother. you're not talking about needing to spend each moment with a child that's like 10 years old and just lost both parents.

single mothers work, go to school, work 2 jobs, etc. ALL THE TIME! i just find it truly shocking that you've made the comments about parent's bad choices and lack of planning when they have to work long hours and then turn around and say you stayed at home with your child by using the welfare system. well, if we all quit working and got on welfare then we could all be stay at home mothers - duh!

[Zoe]

whoa, i didn't say everyone who gets assistance is a "low life." i don't even think that. i received assistance myself at one time! it wasn't cash payments, but still considered assistance.

i do think it's repulsive when someone uses assistance as an alternative to WORKING. there's a difference when someone works and TRIES and even still can't keep afloat and when someone doesn't get a job because they can get assistance INSTEAD. big difference, huge.

I hate it when people abuse the system too. But I hate it even more when people make generalizations about ALL who are on assistance. I haven't gotten involved with threads like this, but whether you meant to or not, you hit a nerve. Thank you for clarifying.