Annoying Mom (Little Long)

[daycare]

I will add thanking them. And thank you for your help.

glad I could help!! and like silver said...just be sure to stand your ground.

If toys/food show up after this letter goes out you need to verbally confront the mom at the door and send the toy/food back out the door with mom, remind her of the rule.
I wish you luck..

[nannyde]

I often find myself sending out weekly friendly reminders of the PHB rules when there are things going wrong at DC. Not the entire book, but will just say something like. As a friendly reminder, please make sure that your child leaves all toys at home. I will throw this into a little weekly email that I send out.

Maybe the mom forgot the rules in the PHB or never even read it in the first place.

I have one mom who is one of my favorite DCP that openly admits I dont read any of the stuff you ever send home, but I do read your emails sometimes.

I started sending all of my information via email, as I found that most letters never made it out of the car....

Yikes

I don't do notes home. If I have a mass info thing to get to them I either send a text or put a note on my front door. I have my policies online so they are there anytime they have questions.

I wouldn't be happy if a parent didn't read what I wrote to them. That would cause a lot of conflict at my house. You can try different ways to contact them but if they refuse them all it will give them a reason to not abide by the policies.

[daycare]

Yikes

I don't do notes home. If I have a mass info thing to get to them I either send a text or put a note on my front door. I have my policies online so they are there anytime they have questions.

I wouldn't be happy if a parent didn't read what I wrote to them. That would cause a lot of conflict at my house. You can try different ways to contact them but if they refuse them all it will give them a reason to not abide by the policies.

totally way off subejct nanny dee, but cute pic..........

[Meeko]

Your attitude regarding this parent is unfortunate and the fact that you would have a possession of this family's and not return it to 'punish' them is a little shocking. Can you imagine if they kept something of yours? That's not a behavior we want little ones to model.

Also, 4 year old children can be picky eaters. That's very typical. It seems you are projecting your own desire for revenge on a small child.
If the child was ill perhaps she doesn't have an appetite?

I would reccomend some books on family/provider relations such as "Circle of Love" Orr goal is to work as a team with families, but you may need a refresher opn what is appropriate for four year olds in terms of development before you can assist this mother in her parenting (should she desire your help).

I'm sure she appreciates the put down.......geesh!

Honey......don't listen to Miss Priss. Listen to the others who actually DO this for a living. Good luck with your problem! I agree with every person here except the above quote. None of us are perfect. Good for you for coming on here to find a solution and get some support.

[nannyde]

totally way off subejct nanny dee, but cute pic..........

I think Michael touched it up. My only concern was that it not be blowupable.

[nannyde]

Okay. I posted before about a 3 yr dcg who has her mom wrapped around her finger. Bringing toys, and other items from home that I do not allow. Now, 2 weeks in a row, mom had to come back to pay me. First was on the 4th. She apologized and said she didnt' have to the money to pay me. And if I was going to be home later that night or Sat and if there was a fee. I told her if she comes back later that same night, then no, I wouldn't charge a fee. She texted me at 8 to see if she could still come by with the money. I said yes. Well, this past friday, she came back about 1/2 hour later to pay.

On the 4th, dcg lost a bunch of keychains she was carrying around. She had them, like 30 seconds before mom showed up. Anyway, we couldn't find them. Mom seemed annoyed. Oh well. I did find them after they left and I "forgot" to give them to her when she came back at 8pm to pay me. It drives the mom nuts when her daughter loses things, so I kept it until Tue when she came back.

On Friday,mom asked me if she has been eating okay. I told her not as much as she used to, but she was just sick 2 weeks ago and figured she wasn't back to normal yet. Mom wants to bring her a sandwich now for her lunch. IT's bad enough she brings her 4 sippy cups of milk and 1 of water, when I supply everything. Sometimes in her cooler bag she has gummy snacks, pudding,etc and the other kids get upset because they want it too. Thur, I just had this girl, my own kids were with their g-ma and the other 2 dck were off. I asked her what she wanted to eat. She said chicken nuggets, mac n cheese and peas. Okay, I made it. She barely touched her food. I was annoyed to say the least. She does this all the time. It's not my fault she chooses not to eat. I really want to tell mom that both she and her daughter will be in for a real shock when she goes to school and they won't cater to their every wish and that they will have to go by the same rules as everybody else.

I don't allow food, drinks, or toys from home. I provide everything they need every day. I even provide hats, coats, mittens, shoes, and spare clothes if needed. For me, it's best not to have things going back and forth. That way there isn't any chance that it will get lost or ruined.

I would be tempted to accept four glasses of milk a day. That would save the ole fat Nan some monies. :: I would, however, put them in a big container right at drop off and hand the cups back to the parent or better yet provide a gallon of milk a week. I used to have parents bring jumbo cups of drinks but that was before the price of gas and milk skyrocketed.

Don't hesitate to just set in place the rules that make it best for you to do GROUP care.

[nannyde]

I have made a newsletter to be given to all parents. How does it sound?


March 2011 Newsletter

To all parents,

Food/beverages:
I understand your desire to provide your child(ren) with food/drinks that your child(ren) wants. However, it's becoming disruptive for the group. For the interests of all the children in my care, I can no longer allow personal food/drink in my daycare.

Regarding toys/personal items from home:
I have sent out numerous reminders about this policy. (it's in the handbook) I have a no toy/personal belongings from home policy. I am not responsible for lost/broken items that are brought to the daycare. Again, it's disrupting the group. With the age group of the children in my daycare, they are not very receptive to sharing/taking turns. So, in the best interest of all children, do not bring any toys/personal belongings from home. I do allow a child to bring their own blanket/sleeping bag for naptime only.

Late payments:
All payments are due in full, by Fridays 5pm. A late fee of $10 per day will be applied to your childcare payment begining at 5:01pm Friday. Payments must be handed to me and not just slipped through the door. If I am unavailable when parent(s) want to drop it off, the fee will still apply. I'm available any time Mon-Fri. 7am-5pm. Evenings and weekends are family time, and planned with activities.

All of the listed above will take effect immediately.

You can go the route of specific explanation on the stuff from home or you can just tell them that you no longer allow blah blah blah.

The more explanation you give the more wiggle room there is to protest it. I think a simple "I don't allow toys from home" "I don't allow food or drinks from home" may be the simpler way.

[DBug]

You can go the route of specific explanation on the stuff from home or you can just tell them that you no longer allow blah blah blah.

The more explanation you give the more wiggle room there is to protest it. I think a simple "I don't allow toys from home" "I don't allow food or drinks from home" may be the simpler way.

She's right, and not just because of the wiggle room for discussion. The more words to read/hear, the less likely parents are to pick out the important information. If you go the letter route, I'd do it in paragraphs with the important points (ie. "No food/drink from home") bolded and placed like a headline before the explanation, like a newspaper article. And then hand it to them while telling them what it says. And then email it to them.

Everyone is busy nowadays, and people often just don't have the time, energy or motivation to read stuff. Honestly, as a culture, we are inundated with messages and information and it can be hard to weed out the important things. We need to make it as easy as possible for them. And that usually has the fringe benefit of making it appear that much more set in stone with no room for discussion.

[dEHmom]

You can go the route of specific explanation on the stuff from home or you can just tell them that you no longer allow blah blah blah.

The more explanation you give the more wiggle room there is to protest it. I think a simple "I don't allow toys from home" "I don't allow food or drinks from home" may be the simpler way.

You could go this route for the fact you want them to read it, but I would add underneath

"Please refer to your handbook"

[missnikki]

Prepare for this mom to go defensive-mode.

Best thing at this point, like others said...have a talk with her. Make eye contact, don't apologize but don't be condescending. Explain briefly that you are no longer accepting ___ and ___ at the daycare, it is causing too many issues. Hand it to her and say, "No, that is not going to work out. Go ahead and take them home for later. Thank you for understanding."

[youretooloud]

I don't allow food or drinks from home either..... but, it's happened. Once it gets started, it's really hard to break the habit. As for the toys, when a child brings toys in, they ask first. I always say "yes" But, I wish they'd stop. ALL the kids and the parents know that they can bring it... but, there's a good chance it will be broken or lost. I have kids who bring those silly bands, and sometimes they bring an entire armfull of them, but go home with two or three... the parents and child are welcome to go look for them, but I won't waste tons of time at closing trying to find them.

I was a single mom to one girl, and while I didn't inf*****e her with sippy cups, I wanted her to always have anything she wanted. She was spoiled beyond belief.. SO, I understand the mom wanting her daughter to have everything, never be hungry, and never eat something she doesn't like... I was like that too. Looking back, it was a mistake. But, I still understand this mom.

This is off the subject really... But, why on earth is a three year old still bringing sippy cups? Sippy cups are my most hated object. And, FOUR sippy cups???? Sippy cups are for infants, and for older kids in the car... not to walk around with during the day.

Honestly.... I'd start putting the ****y cups in the fridge, and sending them all home at the end of the day, and start having her drink from a normal cup.

*Why did the forum automatically block out a word??? It was not even a bad word? Infant+ Ize = Inf****e?

[Little People]

When a child brings, Toys, Sippy Cups, food....I quickly say to the child...Oh you need to give that cup or toy to mom ...thats a rule we can't break. Works like a charm.