Annoying Mom (Little Long)

[melissa ann]

Okay. I posted before about a 3 yr dcg who has her mom wrapped around her finger. Bringing toys, and other items from home that I do not allow. Now, 2 weeks in a row, mom had to come back to pay me. First was on the 4th. She apologized and said she didnt' have to the money to pay me. And if I was going to be home later that night or Sat and if there was a fee. I told her if she comes back later that same night, then no, I wouldn't charge a fee. She texted me at 8 to see if she could still come by with the money. I said yes. Well, this past friday, she came back about 1/2 hour later to pay.

On the 4th, dcg lost a bunch of keychains she was carrying around. She had them, like 30 seconds before mom showed up. Anyway, we couldn't find them. Mom seemed annoyed. Oh well. I did find them after they left and I "forgot" to give them to her when she came back at 8pm to pay me. It drives the mom nuts when her daughter loses things, so I kept it until Tue when she came back.

On Friday,mom asked me if she has been eating okay. I told her not as much as she used to, but she was just sick 2 weeks ago and figured she wasn't back to normal yet. Mom wants to bring her a sandwich now for her lunch. IT's bad enough she brings her 4 sippy cups of milk and 1 of water, when I supply everything. Sometimes in her cooler bag she has gummy snacks, pudding,etc and the other kids get upset because they want it too. Thur, I just had this girl, my own kids were with their g-ma and the other 2 dck were off. I asked her what she wanted to eat. She said chicken nuggets, mac n cheese and peas. Okay, I made it. She barely touched her food. I was annoyed to say the least. She does this all the time. It's not my fault she chooses not to eat. I really want to tell mom that both she and her daughter will be in for a real shock when she goes to school and they won't cater to their every wish and that they will have to go by the same rules as everybody else.

[Lilbutterflie]

If it was me, I would send home a letter saying NO more bringing toys, NO more bringing their own sippy's, NO more cooler with snacks. She needs to eat and drink what everyone else has; or find a daycare where they all bring their own food/drinks. It's all up to you, just hand those things right back to dcm at the door & tell her it's no longer allowed.

In regards to paying late, did you charge the dcm for paying a half hour late? Just start giving hard deadlines (8pm on Friday night for example) and if she's even 5 minutes late, charge her a late fee. Hopefully the late fee is enough to make her realize you are serious about being paid on time; and hopefully it's high enough that she won't want to be late again!

[R&R]

Your attitude regarding this parent is unfortunate and the fact that you would have a possession of this family's and not return it to 'punish' them is a little shocking. Can you imagine if they kept something of yours? That's not a behavior we want little ones to model.

Also, 4 year old children can be picky eaters. That's very typical. It seems you are projecting your own desire for revenge on a small child.
If the child was ill perhaps she doesn't have an appetite?

I would reccomend some books on family/provider relations such as "Circle of Love" Orr goal is to work as a team with families, but you may need a refresher opn what is appropriate for four year olds in terms of development before you can assist this mother in her parenting (should she desire your help).

[morgan24]

She is 3, I would take the decision making out of her hands. I have one who brings snacks in her bag every day and that is where they stay, she eats what I offer.Have you told the Mom she doesn't need to bring anything, that you supply it all?

When she brings toys, after Mom leaves I would put them up and if Mom questions you tell her you didn't want them to get lost. Toys brought for home are a pita and so are the kids who bring them. They don't want to share and they always get lost. So I would put an end to it.

If you want the coming back to pay you later to end, you are going to have to start adding the late fees. I don't like anyone coming back after I close. For me payday is not a surprise, its the same day every week, if they don't have it on that day, I tell them to bring it on the next day of care and be sure to add in the late fees, because I'm not available after closing.

[littlemissmuffet]

If it was me, I would send home a letter saying NO more bringing toys, NO more bringing their own sippy's, NO more cooler with snacks. She needs to eat and drink what everyone else has; or find a daycare where they all bring their own food/drinks. It's all up to you, just hand those things right back to dcm at the door & tell her it's no longer allowed.

In regards to paying late, did you charge the dcm for paying a half hour late? Just start giving hard deadlines (8pm on Friday night for example) and if she's even 5 minutes late, charge her a late fee. Hopefully the late fee is enough to make her realize you are serious about being paid on time; and hopefully it's high enough that she won't want to be late again!

Absolutely - new rule, nothing from home - begins immediately.

Also agree on the late payment situation - hard deadlines and late fees.

Parents who think the rules do not apply to them will walk all over you in every way possible until you just cannot take it any more. Take back control of your business.

[melissa ann]

When she signed on in Sept. I told her that I supply everything, as it's easier that way. It's in my handbook stating no personal belongings from home. The only thing is, if they want to use their own sleeping bag/blanket for nap. I have written in numerous newsletters stating no toys, personal items from home.
I didn't really forget to give the keychain to her. I do childcare in a 1st floor apt of the house we live in. The keychain was over there and I was in the other half of the house where I lived when she dropped off her payment. When I remembered, she was already in her car and I didnt'want to go running after her. I have told her numerous times that I am not responsible for lost/broken items that are brought here.

[dEHmom]

I would suggest getting a bin then. If mom is not cooperating, then when child arrives, even before mom leaves, have the child place all personal belongings (toys, keychains etc) in the bin, close it up (either you or the dck) and then put it in a closet or corner or whatever space you have for it. The child will know that when he/she gets there, she will be putting it "away" and it'll be waiting for her when she leaves. She may decide to just leave it home then.

[cillybean83]

i have littles (birth-2) so if mom wants to drop a toddler off with a baggie of cheerios or something, whatever I don't care they just have to sit in the high chair til they're done...but if I had older kids who actually understood that jimmy was eating something that timmy and suzie didn't get...then I would say absolutely not.

as far as outside toys, I have 1 rule...you bring it to daycare it belongs to daycare...so if little suzie wants to bring a doll to daycare, then that will be a daycare doll from that day forward. Some parents don't like the rule, some don't care, but it's my rule, everyone knows about it so there is to be no complaining when toys don't go home at night.

if i were you, i would stop mom at the door and be like listen, no more food and drinks, no more toys. period." and have her put them back in the car

[Michael]

Okay. I posted before about a 3 yr dcg who has her mom wrapped around her finger. Bringing toys, and other items from home that I do not allow. Now, 2 weeks in a row, mom had to come back to pay me. First was on the 4th. She apologized and said she didnt' have to the money to pay me. And if I was going to be home later that night or Sat and if there was a fee. I told her if she comes back later that same night, then no, I wouldn't charge a fee. She texted me at 8 to see if she could still come by with the money. I said yes. Well, this past friday, she came back about 1/2 hour later to pay.

On the 4th, dcg lost a bunch of keychains she was carrying around. She had them, like 30 seconds before mom showed up. Anyway, we couldn't find them. Mom seemed annoyed. Oh well. I did find them after they left and I "forgot" to give them to her when she came back at 8pm to pay me. It drives the mom nuts when her daughter loses things, so I kept it until Tue when she came back.

On Friday,mom asked me if she has been eating okay. I told her not as much as she used to, but she was just sick 2 weeks ago and figured she wasn't back to normal yet. Mom wants to bring her a sandwich now for her lunch. IT's bad enough she brings her 4 sippy cups of milk and 1 of water, when I supply everything. Sometimes in her cooler bag she has gummy snacks, pudding,etc and the other kids get upset because they want it too. Thur, I just had this girl, my own kids were with their g-ma and the other 2 dck were off. I asked her what she wanted to eat. She said chicken nuggets, mac n cheese and peas. Okay, I made it. She barely touched her food. I was annoyed to say the least. She does this all the time. It's not my fault she chooses not to eat. I really want to tell mom that both she and her daughter will be in for a real shock when she goes to school and they won't cater to their every wish and that they will have to go by the same rules as everybody else.

Welcome back melissa ann. You've been a member here since 2009.

[DCMomOf3]

I would be as nice as you can and just tell her, that you understand her desire to provide her child with the food she wants to feed her daughter, but it's disrupting the group. Tell her that for the intrests of all the kids in your care that you can no longer allow personal food/drink/toys in your house.

If you are nice about it, and express that her child's needs ARE important to you, as is the needs of ALL of the children in your care, i would hope she would respond better than being short and offensive. You get more flies with honey....

Best of luck, I really do hope things get better for you.

[daycare]

I often find myself sending out weekly friendly reminders of the PHB rules when there are things going wrong at DC. Not the entire book, but will just say something like. As a friendly reminder, please make sure that your child leaves all toys at home. I will throw this into a little weekly email that I send out.

Maybe the mom forgot the rules in the PHB or never even read it in the first place.

I have one mom who is one of my favorite DCP that openly admits I dont read any of the stuff you ever send home, but I do read your emails sometimes.

I started sending all of my information via email, as I found that most letters never made it out of the car....

[melissa ann]

I have made a newsletter to be given to all parents. How does it sound?


March 2011 Newsletter

To all parents,

Food/beverages:
I understand your desire to provide your child(ren) with food/drinks that your child(ren) wants. However, it's becoming disruptive for the group. For the interests of all the children in my care, I can no longer allow personal food/drink in my daycare.

Regarding toys/personal items from home:
I have sent out numerous reminders about this policy. (it's in the handbook) I have a no toy/personal belongings from home policy. I am not responsible for lost/broken items that are brought to the daycare. Again, it's disrupting the group. With the age group of the children in my daycare, they are not very receptive to sharing/taking turns. So, in the best interest of all children, do not bring any toys/personal belongings from home. I do allow a child to bring their own blanket/sleeping bag for naptime only.

Late payments:
All payments are due in full, by Fridays 5pm. A late fee of $10 per day will be applied to your childcare payment begining at 5:01pm Friday. Payments must be handed to me and not just slipped through the door. If I am unavailable when parent(s) want to drop it off, the fee will still apply. I'm available any time Mon-Fri. 7am-5pm. Evenings and weekends are family time, and planned with activities.

All of the listed above will take effect immediately.

[daycare]

I have made a newsletter to be given to all parents. How does it sound?


March 2011 Newsletter

To all parents,

Food/beverages:
I understand your desire to provide your child(ren) with food/drinks that your child(ren) wants. However, it's becoming disruptive for the group. For the interests of all the children in my care, I can no longer allow personal food/drink in my daycare.

Regarding toys/personal items from home:
I have sent out numerous reminders about this policy. (it's in the handbook) I have a no toy/personal belongings from home policy. I am not responsible for lost/broken items that are brought to the daycare. Again, it's disrupting the group. With the age group of the children in my daycare, they are not very receptive to sharing/taking turns. So, in the best interest of all children, do not bring any toys/personal belongings from home. I do allow a child to bring their own blanket/sleeping bag for naptime only.

Late payments:
All payments are due in full, by Fridays 5pm. A late fee of $10 per day will be applied to your childcare payment begining at 5:01pm Friday. Payments must be handed to me and not just slipped through the door. If I am unavailable when parent(s) want to drop it off, the fee will still apply. I'm available any time Mon-Fri. 7am-5pm. Evenings and weekends are family time, and planned with activities.

All of the listed above will take effect immediately.

that sounds great to me... I tend to try to kill them with kindness and I always send to all. I would maybe add that you thank them for their support, cooperation and understanding with these matters...

good job.

[SilverSabre25]

I have made a newsletter to be given to all parents. How does it sound?


March 2011 Newsletter

To all parents,

Food/beverages:
I understand your desire to provide your child(ren) with food/drinks that your child(ren) wants. However, it's becoming disruptive for the group. For the interests of all the children in my care, I can no longer allow personal food/drink in my daycare.

Regarding toys/personal items from home:
I have sent out numerous reminders about this policy. (it's in the handbook) I have a no toy/personal belongings from home policy. I am not responsible for lost/broken items that are brought to the daycare. Again, it's disrupting the group. With the age group of the children in my daycare, they are not very receptive to sharing/taking turns. So, in the best interest of all children, do not bring any toys/personal belongings from home. I do allow a child to bring their own blanket/sleeping bag for naptime only.

Late payments:
All payments are due in full, by Fridays 5pm. A late fee of $10 per day will be applied to your childcare payment begining at 5:01pm Friday. Payments must be handed to me and not just slipped through the door. If I am unavailable when parent(s) want to drop it off, the fee will still apply. I'm available any time Mon-Fri. 7am-5pm. Evenings and weekends are family time, and planned with activities.

All of the listed above will take effect immediately.

Be prepared to stand by the policies and enforce them with an iron fist if needed. That's always the part that's hardest for me. I'm too nice. This annoying mom in particular will probably try really hard not to respect your policies.

[melissa ann]

that sounds great to me... I tend to try to kill them with kindness and I always send to all. I would maybe add that you thank them for their support, cooperation and understanding with these matters...

good job.

I will add thanking them. And thank you for your help.