Should I Term

[gbcc]

I didn't mean to sound like I was excusing the behavior! I definately don't!! Just trying to think outside the box. I will speak with her and based on her response I will decide if I will term . If she really seems clueless and sincere I will in no uncertain terms tell her it is not acceptable, I am banning all toys from home and it will not happen again. If she acts like it's nothing, 2 wks notice right there.

[daycare]

I would let this mom know how she made my child feel and would be demanding that she give him an apology. Just because he is a child does not give her the right to disregard his feelings, privacy, or to disrespect your child by entering his private living space without permission.

How would she like it if your son went through her bedroom?? I am sure your child would not be invited over again and you would hear about it to no end..

I would term... she crossed over boundraies that even my own sister would not have done without asking permission from me or my child to enter my childs private space....

thats just beyond rude and disrespectful.

[laundrymom]

Mom needs to apologize to BOTH of you and no more toys from home. I had a boy (SA) come in this morning saying" my mom says my cell is here and you need to find it "

Ummmm no it's not and no I'm not looking. Lol.

[Zoe]

Mom needs to apologize to BOTH of you and no more toys from home. I had a boy (SA) come in this morning saying" my mom says my cell is here and you need to find it "

Ummmm no it's not and no I'm not looking. Lol.

Nice! Funny how mom had her son do this for her. I would be saying the same thing as you did!

[laundrymom]

Nice! Funny how mom had her son do this for her. I would be saying the same thing as you did!

Yes, I don't allow things from home. I don't care how old they are. I for darned sure am not looking for a phone that I know is not here. Lol.

[WImom]

Based on this and imagining if it were one of my awesome dcps who I think would never do something like this, I would have a sit down about no toys in my house EVER (or have her DS KEEP HIS STUFF IN HIS BACKPACK)....and no stepping into your personal space EVER. In seems a bit harsh to just term like that IMHO.

It's eating you up inside, so at a minimum they deserve a warning. If you are not willing to move on from this incident after discussing it with them privately, then yes, I would just term and get it over with.

I agree. I would talk to her about it so she knows that what she did should never happen again and that she needs to stay in the coat room. I'd also reconsider toys from home since this child can't seem to keep them together.

[squareone]

Definitely out of line! Since you have never had any problems with her before, I would have a stern talk with her. Print out the term letter and have it ready. During the meeting, be sure that she fully understands how it made you and your son feel and that this is to never ever happen again - ever. Let her know that there is a new "no personal items from home rule". If she isn't apologetic or the conversation goes in a direction other than you expected, hand her the term letter and bid her farewell.

[Kaddidle Care]

I applaud the fact that you waited 4 days before doing anything. Sometimes we act on our feelings at the moment and then regret what's been done.

You've had time to cool down and think about it. Now give her a tongue lashing. How dare she barge into your son's room and start looking around.
Off Limits
Invasion of privacy
False accusation

Ask her how she would feel if the tables were turned.

If you keep him, no toys are to be brought in period. Disobeying the rules will result in termination.

[Lucy]

I am very upset by this daycare mother and I am considering terming the family over this one incident.

So this 9 year old boy "lost" his PSP charger. Now my rule is, you bring it, you watch it. Not my responsibility. Anyways, he throws a fit saying someone stole it. So I was helping look for it in the playroom when I heard my son yelling and having his own fit.:confused:

Turns out DCM took it upon herself to search my sons room

I was so upset and just speachless. I couldn't say anything. Where would I begin. Who does she think she is??? First off this kid looses his games daily. My son finds them in the yard, down the couch wherever and always returns them to the kid. So if he is going to steal it would be a $50 game not a stupid charger to a game system he doesn't even have.

So duh she doesn't find it up there and they leave. Well she calls about 15 minutes later to let me know they found it. It was in the kids bag the whole time, he just didn't look. No appologies or anything. She just wanted to let me know. UGHHHHH.

Now I don't mind a parent seeing the conditions of my home where the child is ALLOWED to be. My bathroom, kitchen whatever. If you have questions by all means come see. But no one has a right to walk up my stairs and invade my families private rooms. This happened Friday and I am still just fuming about it 4 days later.

I would be mad too. My personal space is -- well -- personal !! I didn't even like it one day when a Dad walked into my kitchen, opened the fridge, and placed his son's sippy cup in there! I got a quick phone call while Dad was saying bye to the kid. The kid had put his cup on the table and I heard Dad say "don't leave it there, milk needs to be in the fridge." I was about to pick it up (while on the phone) when Dad walks into the kitchen. I was caught off guard and didn't know what to say. Granted, it's not that big of a deal, but for some reason it bugged me. Now if someone went into a BEDROOM, that would be 10x worse!! Like you, I wouldn't even know what to say.

[gbcc]

Thanks again for all the advice and support!

I ended up speaking with the mother today. She looked very embarassed as if it never occured to her that I would be upset and kept appologizing over and over. I honestly believe she did not understand the issues of boundries here. I made it very clear that my son and I NEED our private spaces to remain private and OURS. I explained no children are allowed in the rooms and I don't expect parents to travel either. I then told her that her son would not be able to bring items from home. I explained that this all blew up essentially because her son did not keep track of his belongings and that in turn put everyone else in an uncomfortable predicument. She said she understood and that was probably a good idea. She asked if on occation he may be able to bring it. I said at the moment no and if I had to babysit toys I would need additional payment and a signed contract :: She looked confused as if trying to figure out if I was joking or not!

[countrymom]

glad it worked out. I think it was just a misunderstanding. This is why I don't watch sa kids, one of them stole my ipod charger.

[melskids]

i'm jumping in late, but i wanted to add.....

i had a parent who didnt understand boundaries either. i put up baby gates to the places i didnt want her, and so far so good.

should she ever step over a gate, all H-E-double hockey sticks will break loose

[nannyde]

Thanks again for all the advice and support!

I ended up speaking with the mother today. She looked very embarassed as if it never occured to her that I would be upset and kept appologizing over and over. I honestly believe she did not understand the issues of boundries here. I made it very clear that my son and I NEED our private spaces to remain private and OURS. I explained no children are allowed in the rooms and I don't expect parents to travel either. I then told her that her son would not be able to bring items from home. I explained that this all blew up essentially because her son did not keep track of his belongings and that in turn put everyone else in an uncomfortable predicument. She said she understood and that was probably a good idea. She asked if on occation he may be able to bring it. I said at the moment no and if I had to babysit toys I would need additional payment and a signed contract :: She looked confused as if trying to figure out if I was joking or not!

I think you did the right thing.

Sadly, these social skills have to be taught to adults in this day and age.

DO NOT allow toys. She's asking for now and then because she wants an escape clause should little Johnny say NO to your NO toys in the house. She knows that days coming real soon.

If it's up for grabs on any given day that he MIGHT be able to bring his stuff then it will be an issue every day. Giving ONE NO now and sticking with it will end the day to day conflict.

The babysit the toy fee is excellent and I would make it stiff. Do a ten dollar a day supervision fee paid in advance. for the toy and that does not include if the toy is broken. Just that the toy is not lost. Then have him sit in ONE location and stay there to play the toy. He has to return it to you if he gets up.

She wants him to have the toy but she won't want a ten dollar fee. Just give that to her if SHE doesn't take the NO.