Problem Babies in My Day Care

[Unregistered]

Hi, I am a licensed home DCP for a year and a half now. I have had E in my care since he was 3 mos (he is now 17mos) 5 days per week 8-5. He cries over everything, he hates to nap and he is just difficult. I have had the same schedule since day 1 and he just does not get it.

The 2nd babe I have had for 3 months Tuesday thru Thursday 8-5. He is a 7 month old, J, he cries everytime I put him down, wheather it be to change his diaper, or to bed in the pack n play, or if I put him down with toys with the other kids. He cries every time.

How would you handle these two?

[mac60]

I have a just turned 1 yr old that is the very same way. I have a really nice play area, called Sights and Sounds, it was $100 and worth every penny. I put the 1 yr old in there and let him walk, crawl, play what ever he wants. And he chooses to cry. Nothing wrong with him, just is a big whiner that is all. If he has quit crying and I walk by, he starts up again. Some little ones are simply just whiny and criers. For some rotten reason that is just their nature.

When it comes to naptime, I simply put him in his pack in play, turn off the light, turn on the fan, and turn on the radio to drown out the crying. He will fall asleep within 10 to 15 minutes. It is pitch dark in the room too, you can't see anything, and I think that really helps.

It took a while for me to get used to the nature of this child. They other kids will say.....he is whining again. He is very BIG for his age (close to 30#, and to pick him and hold him is a killer, and he doesn't want to be held, he squirms and arches his back. He simply just whines......unless he has food in front of him. I feel for ya.

If I had two that acted like that......If you have a room where you can set up 2 pack in plays I would put them both in 1 room. Make the room as dark as you possibly can, maybe put something over the windows, make sure they are dry, fed, and put them down at the same time every morning and afternoon. Turn on a radio to drown out the crying, and shut the door behind you. They should eventually stop and if you do it faithfully everyday, they will eventually learn. I guess I feel if they are going to cry and whine while up, they can just do it behind closed doors, because it sets a bad tone for the other little ones and is just so nerving to hear constantly.

Good luck.

[mac60]

Today I have a 1 yr old (one mentioned above) and all he does is whine and me and the other kids get so sick of hearing it. They even asked me to put him in another room and shut the door. It is absolutely rediculous. He is in the same room with the other children, so he can interact with them. He has the freedom to walk, sit, crawl, play, and he chooses to hand on the edge of the play zone and just whine. Don't get it. When I put him in the high chair to eat, if I don't literrally stand in front of him in his sight, he will twist and turn in the chair straining to look around and see where I am and whine. Some days it is really hard to deal with, and those days I just put him to bed. He is the same way pretty much at home, from what the parents say. So frustrating and annoying.

[tymaboy]

I have one that is slowly getting better. Some days are better then others. She has just learned to crawl & to walk along furniture, being mobile has helped some. I try to teach the kids in my care that if they whine or cry it is time to go to bed. When this one goes to bed I need to wrap her up in a swaddle blanket or she will cry even more & much longer. When she gets wraped up she will be out in 5-10 minutes if I dont she crys for MUCH longer & will only sleep 1/2 the time. I'm not sure what I will do when she out grows the swaddle blanket, which will be real soon.

[Chickenhauler]

Are these babies the parents first children?

I'm going to bet that these kids are constantly the center of attention at home, mom and dad dote upon their every hiccup and fart.

In other words, it sounds like they're spoiled. You just have to "unspoil" them.....it's not easy, but it can be done.

[Unregistered]

Yes, all of the babies I care for are first babies. I am just not sure how to unspoil them. Advice on that?

My son who is 3 was a very chill baby, so these two are very different than anything I have ever experienced.

[mac60]

Yesterday at pick up, mom of my whiney one asked me if he was doing better. I said no, and explained what he was doing. She said he does the same thing at home. Will reach up and grab hold of her shirt or leg and hang on her and follow her every step. So, She ALLOWS this behavior at home, which makes it very hard for me. At 1, they should be learning to play and be content on their own. I put him in the play area and he hangs on the edges and watches me and cries. GRR.

[Former Teacher]

I know what you mean

Yesterday at pick up, mom of my whiney one asked me if he was doing better. I said no, and explained what he was doing. She said he does the same thing at home. Will reach up and grab hold of her shirt or leg and hang on her and follow her every step. So, She ALLOWS this behavior at home, which makes it very hard for me. At 1, they should be learning to play and be content on their own. I put him in the play area and he hangs on the edges and watches me and cries. GRR.

At my former center we had this little girl a little over a year who did the same thing at dc and at home. Mom allowed it as well. She told us that she was a "momma's girl". We couldn't let her cry all day because it looked bad on us. She would get worse esp. if she knew someone else different IE a parent, or even worse state, or some other authority. Then again we did our best to please her. It was a situation where darn if you do, darn if you don't.

I am now a current nanny to a 20 mo. sweet little boy. His mother works in the home however she stays upstairs and only comes downstairs for lunch, etc. There are some days where she catches me playing and singing etc. on the floor (or she hears me) Other days she catches me just sitting on the couch or chair. I explained to her that I didn't always want to hover over him because he has got to learn to play by myself. She was not upset at all about it. In fact she liked it. I explained to her because if I didn't, he would find no way of entertaining himself and all that good stuff.

Long story short, I can speak from experience that I know exactly what you are talking about. My only solace is that they do grow up!

[Chickenhauler]

Yes, all of the babies I care for are first babies. I am just not sure how to unspoil them. Advice on that?

My son who is 3 was a very chill baby, so these two are very different than anything I have ever experienced.

I know it sounds mean, but sometimes you just have to let them cry it out....eventually they come to realize that the whole octopus approach isn't working and they get over it. But, you can't give into the "klingon" and crying-if their shorts are clean, their tummies full, and it's not nap time, they're going to have to learn to chill out.

With clingy young kids, I will drag out a toy that is bright colored, noisy, interactive, etc. One of the best I ever saw for this was a little car-looking thing they sat at that made all kinds of squeaks, honks, clicks, etc with levers, buttons, switches, etc. Set them down, show them how it works, and step back and let them entertain themselves.

A young boy my wife started watching this summer was this same way....he'd cry the instant you let go of him, now he's cooled off to where he is OK if he can see you....step into the other room, and he goes berserk until you come back. He's getting better each day.

[Unregistered]

"If the child doesn't eat at one meal and it has to be thrown out they are done eating for the day, they get no more food. Measly pay. Needing little butts spanked. Not wanting the govt involved in the business. If the crying is too much put them to bed, drown them out with a radio and shut the door to a pitch dark room."

All I can say is wow ...

I wonder if any of this could possibly contribute to his distress?

[Chickenhauler]

"If the child doesn't eat at one meal and it has to be thrown out they are done eating for the day, they get no more food. Measly pay. Needing little butts spanked. Not wanting the govt involved in the business. If the crying is too much put them to bed, drown them out with a radio and shut the door to a pitch dark room."

All I can say is wow ...

I wonder if any of this could possibly contribute to his distress?

Congratulations on the ability to copy/paste multiple posts and take them out of context, all while remaining anonymous to the members of the forum.

[mac60]

Congratulations on the ability to copy/paste multiple posts and take them out of context, all while remaining anonymous to the members of the forum.

Yes, just what I was thinking. Whoever it was actually took the time to search thru posts to piece together information. Some people thrive on causing problems. I hope they had fun doing it.

[Unregistered]

I didn't search through any posts to put together info. I've been here for a few weeks reading and the more posts I read the more disturbed I become. I am a foster mother and the things you have written are truly upsetting.
Anyone can read for themselves. I didn't take anything out of context.

[mac60]

Whatever, And yes, you did take things out of context.....you pulled bits and pieces from several post to TRY to make a point, not allowing the full meaning of each comment to be presented and not explaining where the different bits of information came from. I do hope you feel better now. Amazing how some thrive on those type of post.

[Unregistered]

"If the child doesn't eat at one meal and it has to be thrown out they are done eating for the day, they get no more food. Measly pay. Needing little butts spanked. Not wanting the govt involved in the business. If the crying is too much put them to bed, drown them out with a radio and shut the door to a pitch dark room."

All I can say is wow ...

I wonder if any of this could possibly contribute to his distress?

Yes, you did indeed take it out of context. Because no one on this thread even wrote the part about eating/measly pay/little butts spanked or the govt.

I am the one who asked the original question by the way.