Problem Babies in My Day Care

[Former Teacher]

To Chicken Hauler

Congratulations on the ability to copy/paste multiple posts and take them out of context, all while remaining anonymous to the members of the forum.

You make me crack up! Thanks for the much needed laugh!

[mac60]

I have been a provider for over 10 years, I rarely ever advertise and I am always full. I run a good program. I do a preschool curriculum. I have a nice fenced in play area for the kids. I have lots of activities and toys for them. I never close. My parents and my dc kids respect me and love me, and honestly, I am sick of the "unregistered" that come here to slam me. I am a good provider and my track record reflects that.

You took and pulled things from my different post, only putting in "what you wanted people to see". Must be nice to have time to bully people.

Do I believe in spanking. YEP. But only my own children, NOT dc children.

Do I believe in timeouts. YEP. What else is there for us to do.

Do I believe in no snacks when your lunch is thrown out. YEP, especially when repeat behavior, and especially when the parents tell me to do it. No one ever starves at my daycare.

Do I believe the government gets their nose in too many peoples business. YEP. I have several sets of parents in my home throughout the day, I don't need the government telling me a 14 mo can not sleep with a blanket.

Do I believe that when you have a whiner on board, that sometimes the only thing that will work is to put them down and turn on the music and shut off the lights. YEP. And it WORKS.

I am respectfully asking that YOU "Unregistered", get off my back.

[Unregistered]

One of the reasons the USDA food program exists for LICENSED and PERMITTED day cares is because the food the child gets at day care is often the ONLY food they will have that day. A lot of children go home from day care and do not see another meal or snack that day. So what if they don't eat? You are getting paid. And if you WERE licensed or permitted they would not allow you to PUNISH WITH FOOD or WITHOLD FOOD.

[Unregistered]

If a parent is NOT feeding their child supper, then THEY are in the wrong for doing so. I always fed my kids 3 meals a day plus other. I grew up that snacks and treats were a priviledge, and if you waste your meal then you wait till the NEXT meal to eat again. Tough love. Kids in my care get 2 nutritious meals a day, plus other snacks/treats, as long as they follow the rules.

Just wanted to add: This was my post, I had cleaned out my computer and did not reregister before posting. mac60

[momof3]

I agree, sometimes when you have a whiner, you put them in a pack n play, turn on the fan, and close the door. There is only so much screaming and whining anyone can take and this process works 99.9 percent of the time. It doesn't take long for the kids (including one year olds-they are not dumb) to get the picture. Unfortunately, they get away with the whining at home, and this is why they do it. I have one right now who does the same thing, and if she doesn't stop, you bet, she goes down for nap. If your going to whine in front of me, you can do it in the pack n play alone, until you learn it is unacceptable behavior. She also screams when any of the other children walk near her, talk to her, try to play with her, etc. She has an older brother that is a handful, and I believe this is the only way at home she gets her voice heard. But it is not the way around here. I would go insane listening to the screaming if I couldn't re-train the bahavior.

[tymaboy]

Yep I am in the process of trainning 2 of my little ones that if they whine they will go to bed. I figure when they whine that is my clue they are tired.

[Unregistered]

One of the reasons the USDA food program exists for LICENSED and PERMITTED day cares is because the food the child gets at day care is often the ONLY food they will have that day. A lot of children go home from day care and do not see another meal or snack that day. So what if they don't eat? You are getting paid. And if you WERE licensed or permitted they would not allow you to PUNISH WITH FOOD or WITHOLD FOOD.

I had a nearly 4 year old spit on another child's food at lunch today...I took her food, dumped it, and excused her from the table (after I got the other child a new plate!)

What should I have done..."no sweetie, we don't spit." Good grief, what happened to teaching children proper behavior. One missed meal is NOT going to cause trauma...but it might teach the child some manners!

[ConcernedMotherof2]

Punishment should fit the crime

I had a nearly 4 year old spit on another child's food at lunch today...I took her food, dumped it, and excused her from the table (after I got the other child a new plate!)

What should I have done..."no sweetie, we don't spit." Good grief, what happened to teaching children proper behavior. One missed meal is NOT going to cause trauma...but it might teach the child some manners!

I have done the same thing at home when one of my kids has spit in the other's food (yeah... they are hellions). I've never, ever been one to punish my children by making them skip a meal, but you can bet that if they act like that at the table, they are sent to bed without eating what's left on their plate. Honestly, what else COULD you do?

[Former Teacher]

My Opinion, Again

In TX you are not allowed to use food as a reward or punishment. This minimum standard I hold mixed feelings with. I always gave my kiddos M and M's or something small when they cleaned up, or did something outstanding. Sometimes with a group of 4 and 5 y.o's you have to!

However, on the flip side meaning the punishment, no you can not withhold food. No I do not believe in withholding snacks because the child didn't eat lunch. AM snack was at 8:30, lunch 11:00 and finally PM snack was at 3:00 (or whatever time naptime was over sometimes even 2:30) So if a child didn't eat lunch, by withholding snack, that child wouldn't eat again until dinner. Most of the kids wouldn't get picked up until close to 6:00 if not later.
I am sorry but that is to long for ME to go without food, I can imagne how it is being a child.

That being said, yes I do agree with "taking away a plate" at lunch and letting life go on. But to withhold snacks because the child didn't eat lunch or misbehaved or whatever, I believe is ridiculous.

So I will have to agree to disagree with my colleagues

[tymaboy]

In TX you are not allowed to use food as a reward or punishment. This minimum standard I hold mixed feelings with. I always gave my kiddos M and M's or something small when they cleaned up, or did something outstanding. Sometimes with a group of 4 and 5 y.o's you have to!

However, on the flip side meaning the punishment, no you can not withhold food. No I do not believe in withholding snacks because the child didn't eat lunch. AM snack was at 8:30, lunch 11:00 and finally PM snack was at 3:00 (or whatever time naptime was over sometimes even 2:30) So if a child didn't eat lunch, by withholding snack, that child wouldn't eat again until dinner. Most of the kids wouldn't get picked up until close to 6:00 if not later.
I am sorry but that is to long for ME to go without food, I can imagne how it is being a child.

That being said, yes I do agree with "taking away a plate" at lunch and letting life go on. But to withhold snacks because the child didn't eat lunch or misbehaved or whatever, I believe is ridiculous.

So I will have to agree to disagree with my colleagues

We also can use food as a punishment either. If a child does not eat lunch I will still give him/her a snack. I just will not give then a big snack & allow them to fill up on it. They should have ate lunch.

[Unregistered]

I have done the same thing at home when one of my kids has spit in the other's food (yeah... they are hellions). I've never, ever been one to punish my children by making them skip a meal, but you can bet that if they act like that at the table, they are sent to bed without eating what's left on their plate. Honestly, what else COULD you do?

That is completely different from complaining that the same kids don't eat lunch all the time and therefore if they don't eat their lunch they are "done for the day". Of course if they are eating lunch and spit in another child's plate they should be removed from the lunch table. But you don't withhold food as a punishment and make a child go without eathing for 5, 6 or more hours just because you are annoyed that you threw some food in the trash.
Why not use a different approach and offer one bite of each item? Then if they don't eat you haven't thrown away much at all.
You also don't shut kids in a room and force a nap. That is not okay and is in fact against most states licensing regs. If it is naptime fine, if they are tired and ready for one fine. But to force a nap or rest period because you can't take the whining? Working with children one on one and teaching them acceptable behavior and helping them adjust appropriately to the day care situation is what is called for. And after a trial period if they can't adjust then remove them and enroll someone who can.
I am just imagining these poor kids later in life who were shut in a dark room with the radio on to drown them out and left there and forced to nap because they were whiney. I can't even imagine the trauma this is causing in their little minds every day. It likens to a horror movie to me. They are upset and asking for comfort and they are being put in a pack n play and shut in a loud, dark room. I wonder if it's the same kids who also don't get to eat. I would whine too! I'd be HUNGRY! I'm sorry, it's my opinion and that's how I feel.
There are better ways to work with children and help them adapt.

[mac60]

FYI, I never said I forced a child to nap, when a very young child whines and nothing consoles him, you put him to bed and with in minutes he is sleeping....HE WAS TIRED......and by the way, I never said I put on LOUD music, yes I turn the radio on it helps drown out his crying and the noise of the other children playing, IT IS NOT LOUD. As far as being dark, if I leave a light on in the room, he will NOT go to sleep, so I turn it out. Don't know that there is anything wrong with that, as most people sleep with the lights out. I have a small room I am able to use instead of the main dc area. As far as the child crying because he is hungry, where did you come up with that. This child is 14 mo old and NEVER missed eating a meal at my house.....he is almost 30 pounds.

So, I really am tired of you constantly posting things you THINK I have said and THINK I have done. You have never met me. Your bullying is getting old. You are the same person unregistered that did this a couple days ago,

Remember This:" If the child doesn't eat at one meal and it has to be thrown out they are done eating for the day, they get no more food. Measly pay. Needing little butts spanked. Not wanting the govt involved in the business. If the crying is too much put them to bed, drown them out with a radio and shut the door to a pitch dark room."

All I can say is wow ...

I wonder if any of this could possibly contribute to his distress?
_________________________________________________

Like I said, you pulled out of post what you wanted changing the context of the words and meanings.
I have proof the post are from the same Unregistered person. Please leave me alone.
I would take it to a pm, but gees, unregistered people can't receive pms.

[Former Teacher]

That is completely different from complaining that the same kids don't eat lunch all the time and therefore if they don't eat their lunch they are "done for the day". Of course if they are eating lunch and spit in another child's plate they should be removed from the lunch table. But you don't withhold food as a punishment and make a child go without eathing for 5, 6 or more hours just because you are annoyed that you threw some food in the trash.
Why not use a different approach and offer one bite of each item? Then if they don't eat you haven't thrown away much at all.
You also don't shut kids in a room and force a nap. That is not okay and is in fact against most states licensing regs. If it is naptime fine, if they are tired and ready for one fine. But to force a nap or rest period because you can't take the whining? Working with children one on one and teaching them acceptable behavior and helping them adjust appropriately to the day care situation is what is called for. And after a trial period if they can't adjust then remove them and enroll someone who can.
I am just imagining these poor kids later in life who were shut in a dark room with the radio on to drown them out and left there and forced to nap because they were whiney. I can't even imagine the trauma this is causing in their little minds every day. It likens to a horror movie to me. They are upset and asking for comfort and they are being put in a pack n play and shut in a loud, dark room. I wonder if it's the same kids who also don't get to eat. I would whine too! I'd be HUNGRY! I'm sorry, it's my opinion and that's how I feel.
There are better ways to work with children and help them adapt.

I agree with you. It saddens me to read some of these comments from my colleagues, whom I have the UTMOST respect for, about how they run their businesses and child care practices. But this is a forum and everyone is entitled to their opinion.

Another one of my opinions is that I can't wait until this forum requires you to sign in every time you post! Maybe perhaps 1 ID per email address. It would make this forum SO much easier!

[AmandasFCC]

That is completely different from complaining that the same kids don't eat lunch all the time and therefore if they don't eat their lunch they are "done for the day". Of course if they are eating lunch and spit in another child's plate they should be removed from the lunch table. But you don't withhold food as a punishment and make a child go without eathing for 5, 6 or more hours just because you are annoyed that you threw some food in the trash.
Why not use a different approach and offer one bite of each item? Then if they don't eat you haven't thrown away much at all.
You also don't shut kids in a room and force a nap. That is not okay and is in fact against most states licensing regs. If it is naptime fine, if they are tired and ready for one fine. But to force a nap or rest period because you can't take the whining? Working with children one on one and teaching them acceptable behavior and helping them adjust appropriately to the day care situation is what is called for. And after a trial period if they can't adjust then remove them and enroll someone who can.
I am just imagining these poor kids later in life who were shut in a dark room with the radio on to drown them out and left there and forced to nap because they were whiney. I can't even imagine the trauma this is causing in their little minds every day. It likens to a horror movie to me. They are upset and asking for comfort and they are being put in a pack n play and shut in a loud, dark room. I wonder if it's the same kids who also don't get to eat. I would whine too! I'd be HUNGRY! I'm sorry, it's my opinion and that's how I feel.
There are better ways to work with children and help them adapt.

I agree with you. I had a hard enough time swallowing the pill that I had to let my own daughter cry it out at night so that I could get some sleep. I can't imagine forcing that opinion on someone else by inflicting it on their child.

Where I'm at, it's also against licensing standards to withhold food or use food as a reinforcer. If a child is misbehaving at the table I remove them from the table (like, literally 5 feet away from the table) until they are ready to cooperate. This has been very effective for me. I don't have a huge table, but still I manage to seat the kids far enough apart that they are not close enough to one another to be able to spit in each other's food. The worst I hear is "____ is kicking me!" hehe. Once a child has been playing with their food for 20 minutes without taking a bite, I take it away, but I definitely would not withhold their afternoon snack because of this. Right after lunch is nap time.

This is where my disagreement with your statement starts ... there's nothing wrong with mandating a rest time. All my kids rest. They don't have to sleep, but they have to lie down for a while. The non-sleepers come with me after about half an hour of resting quietly to do a craft quietly, then look at some books, do puzzles or whatever. Children really do benefit from a little cool-down period.

[mac60]

I wish it would stop.

I have asked before and am asking again, please quit taking bits and pieces from peoples post and using them out of context. It is the same "unregistered" that is doing it, and I respectfully asked that she stop once before. You are making "mis-statements" about posts and what you THINK people said/and or are doing, because you are only using the bits and pieces you choose.

1) I don't withhold food for 4 or 5 or 6 hours, I have NEVER said that. I serve each child 2 meals per day, hopefully they eat it, sometimes they don't. I also serve snacks.

2) I also don't shut kids in a room and force a nap. Damn, I wish I knew HOW to force a kid to sleep, would make my days much better. If a under 1 1/2 yr old is doing nothing but whining and nothing consoles them, I will put them to bed in a dark room and they WILL go to sleep, only because they are TIRED, I certainly didn't or CAN'T force a 1 1/2 yr old to sleep. Gees. Oh yea, I DO use the radio, along with a LOT OF OTHER PROVIDERS.

QUOTE """"""I am just imagining these poor kids later in life who were shut in a dark room with the radio on to drown them out and left there and forced to nap because they were whiney. I can't even imagine the trauma this is causing in their little minds every day. It likens to a horror movie to me. They are upset and asking for comfort and they are being put in a pack n play and shut in a loud, dark room. I wonder if it's the same kids who also don't get to eat. I would whine too! I'd be HUNGRY!"""""" What drama..........Just how do you come up with this stuff. Please, just leave me alone, enough is enough.