Are You An Old School Provider

[Lyss]

Honestly I think I'm a little bit of both.

"child-centered" and "child-led" to means things that it TOTALLY doesn't mean. Just like attachment parenting doesn't necessarily mean that you are literally attached all the time, or that you don't discipline at all, or that you need to be your kid' friend, or whatever.

I totally agree! People take the terms to heart without really learning about the process itself. The same with CIO and baby led weaning.

There are definitely problems with "kids today" and "parents today"--but they are NOT starting with the current generation of kids and parents--I think that the problems started a couple generations back. Many of today's parents (between 20 and 35 years old, probably) didn't get much parenting, or good parenting, or parenting that was useful at all--these are some of the first digitally-raised kids, the ones who first had cable and VCRs and computers and internet and were left to their own devices much of the time. They had no good example of HOW to parent, HOW to problem-solve, HOW to stick by their guns and let a consequence stand.

It's not that today's kids are a "me" generation--it's that today's parents, and to some extent the parents before them--are also "me" generations. Our society has become SO individualistic that nothing else exists for some people--many people.

I also agree with this! It's not something that's just starting. At almost thirty () I feel like I was raised right at the beginning of generation "me me me" so I got bits and pieces of it. My mom was a no nonsense, spanking mom when I was little but around the time my brother was born 7 years later, things changed. I can see the difference between how I was raised and how my brother (now 23) was raised. I don't think it's about favoritism or whatever else older siblings say about thier younger siblings being "spoiled," it was just the ideas about child raising changed during this time. My brother (and his friends) think everything should be handed to him, he deserves it all for little to no effort, and it drives me crazy because I work my butt off! I also feel like as I got older my mom was less involved, like I raised myself. i did what I wanted and no one was there to question, I'm surprised I turned out the way I did! Thank goodness for my Nana I guess!

Being kinda in the middle of these generations I can see both sides, but some of the "new school" stuff drives me crazy! I had a DCM show up one morning looking so tired and stressed. She said they got 3 hours of sleep because DCB (1.5yrs) wanted to watch Dora and color instead of sleeping and she "just can't bear to tell him no." So instead mom and dad had to suffer through a night of Dora (which is bad enough in my opinion) and a day of work with only 3 hours of sleep because they didn't want to say "no." Now I try to limit my use of "no" but in the middle of the night when DD wants to watch tv or play, she's gonna hear it! I need sleep! !

[momofsix]

My daughters have watched me doing dc for their whole lives and they do things basically the same way I do. On Sat my 20 yo dd was bbsitting a 6 yo girl and put her hair up in a "sock bun".
When the mom came home she thought her dd's hair was so cute.
Mom "How did you get her to let you put her hair up?"
dd "I told her we were going to do her hair, and then I just did it.":confused:
Mom "She always tells me no!"
dd "Well...she told me no too but I did it anyhow!:confused::confused: