Are You An Old School Provider

[Missani]

Old School!

I am in my early 30s and my friends probably think I'm a mean mom. My children are not allowed to hit/hurt/talk back to me or to other kids. They have to dress themselves and eat what I make for dinner without getting other choices. I decide where we are going and when, and they have no choice but to come with me.

That being said, I have tried some "new school" parenting techniques as well. If they work, great, if not, back to the "old" way. Some have worked and I have enjoyed them. However, the "new" ways will not come with unlimited choices, ability to reason with the parents, and being able to walk all over me...those things are old school all the way.

In my daycare, the old way just works better. My dcks do walk all over their parents sometimes. They are constantly being "bargained" with and bribed. They are so totally in charge that it makes me sick sometimes. Also, what is wrong with kids playing at home? I have one family that is here 5 minutes before I open every day because "they were up early and I didn't know what to do with them, so we drove around and then came here." On the weekends, these same kids will go out to breakfast, to the zoo, out to lunch, to a movie, to the mall, and out to dinner...all in one day. Or once the went to a museum in the morning, the zoo in the afternoon, then to the park, then to a play. What the heck? I feel like I tote my kids around a lot just to run errands that don't get done during the week and we try to do one "fun" thing per week...sometimes it's a museum or the zoo...sometimes it's as simple as getting an ice cream cone or hanging out at the library. I don't get it.

I do run a complete preschool program, though. It makes it easier to structure my day. We sing the songs I sang as a kid, do art projects (pre-prepared or creative), play outside, have play time, and do some organized "center" activities. I teach numbers, letters, and how to zip your own jacket...just the basics. I love teaching and I love to do this. I want my kids to be proud of themselves and their accomplishments. I do not think there is anything wrong at all with a child led curriculum, but it's not for me. I like to be able to plan my month in advance and prepare activities that go along with a pre-planned theme. I totally "get" the other way, it's just not how my brain works.

When I first started working in a child care center, I worked in an infant room with a 60ish year old woman. Talk about old school! She wouldn't even let you hold a baby if they cried ("They have to learn that they will get attention from you when they are NOT crying.") She was too extreme for my taste, but she did teach me a lot. In fact, it's probably why I'm still old school today.

[countrymom]

I agree with you on this one,if more parents would discipline,there would be less children getting in trouble because they have been allowed to do whatever they want without consequences. And yes, it is the "ME" generation. I find that parents spend more time doing what they want for themselves then spending time with their children. Even when they have a day off, they will bring their child to daycare so they don't have to bother with them. An example for instance, I had a Mom have the day off, needed to run some errands that day and said it was too much of a hassle to take her daughter with her, so I got her that day. As it turned out, I had to run a few errands that day also with my own 2 boys and her daughter. We had to run to Target and as we were entering the store, here my daycare Mom comes out of Target at the same time I was going in, with her daughter. Wow, If I could handle 3 kids, one who was her daughter, why couldn't she handle her own child. As far as nice play theses days, kids don't know how to nice play.... especially when they get by with hitting at home and getting away with it. Then they think it is okay to do that because their parents have not told them that it is not a nice thing to do. I could go on and on with what parents are not doing these days, but that won't do any good.

I never understood why I can take 5 children under the age of 5 to various activities and errands but these parents can't take 1 child to the store.

[SandeeAR]

I never understood why I can take 5 children under the age of 5 to various activities and errands but these parents can't take 1 child to the store.

Because we make their "little darlings" MIND....and they don't!::

[Cat Herder]

I am thinking of starting our own "For Profit" Certification Body. We can come up with our own list of requirements, materials and offer others the privilege of paying for our Gold Heart ratings....
::::::

We can call it P.O.O.P.... Professional Organization of Providers.

IMHO, It is all a bunch of BS, anyway.....

[busymomof2]

I am old school 100% down to the core. In my home/daycare what I say goes. This is not a democracy or a debate. All my daycare kids come from "feel good, be my friend families". They get an eye opener when they are hear with me. One kid had enough nerve to ask me why I don't clean up during clean up time. Hello who do you think does everything else. Oh I went off. Parents bring kids in laced shoes and they & the kids expect me to lace up all kids shoes each time we go outside. Yea right! You will be going bare footed or the very last kid:: I had another child question why we have to nap all the time when at home she doesn't have to. Because I said! I didn't believe in spanking until recently. My daughter was acting out to the extreme. I told her if she didn't stop I would spank her...never had before. She looked at me dead in the eye and said I will laugh. I was shocked. I told her then I will right now she then said I will laugh louder. I don't believe in empty threats so I took her upstairs and she got it. Let's just say she didn't laugh and I haven't had to do it again.

[Hunni Bee]

LOL Im not going to tell you how old I am...but based on how my mother raised me, I would say Im old school. (Now, I have been working in a center for the past four years and I worked for the school system for three years prior to that. I am lead teacher, I designed my classrooms, plan my curriculum, manage my assistants, etc...so I'm not some kid )

What I can't get past is the smart mouths on these itty bitty kids. At three!! I wouldn't have known how to talk to my mother that way, and if I did know, I wouldn't have dared. I told a three-year-old boy today that if he ran on the steps he would have to get a time out. He said "I don't care. Im still gonna run anyway and I'm NOT sittin in no time-out". If I still have to wipe your nose and your butt, you definitely are not talking to me that way! And its how he talks to his mother, he feels like he's on the same level with adults, and they think its cute...

[missnikki]

I am new school. JUST KIDDING FOLKS. I'm older school than a Byzantine era classroom.

[Unregistered]

I'm 40 years old and certainly old school. This fluffy approach to raising OR caring for kids drives me batty. I wish parents/educators and whoever else would quit praising mediocrity or worse! Expect something of kids!

[melskids]

yesterday morning i watched a mother put on and take off her childs shoes 4 times, because HE didnt like the way she was doing it.

....and she is a licensed therapist with a masters degree.


when it comes to behavior and respect, i am old school.

yes, i run a child centered program. but that doesnt mean i let them rule the roost. some people think child-led means the kids can do whatever they want, whenever. thats not what it means, to me anyway.

they choose the topic or "theme" for the week/month based on their interest, and they do choose what they want to play with throughout the day, but they are still expected to follow rules, and be respectful.

yes, they can choose to paint when they want. but they know, the minute they step away from the easel, they'd better put that brush down.

sure, i have a huge table full of sand in the middle of my house. but they know, they'd better keep it in the table.

if they rip apart the playroom and mix up the centers, thats fine. but when they are done, they know just where everything goes.

so maybe i'm wrong. maybe i'm really not so child centered, seeing that i dont allow little jonny to creatively express himself by painting my couch, or stuff my cat in the toy oven, IDK. :confused:::

[SilverSabre25]

when it comes to behavior and respect, i am old school.

yes, i run a child centered program. but that doesnt mean i let them rule the roost. some people think child-led means the kids can do whatever they want, whenever. thats not what it means, to me anyway.

they choose the topic or "theme" for the week/month based on their interest, and they do choose what they want to play with throughout the day, but they are still expected to follow rules, and be respectful.

yes, they can choose to paint when they want. but they know, the minute they step away from the easel, they'd better put that brush down.

sure, i have a huge table full of sand in the middle of my house. but they know, they'd better keep it in the table.

if they rip apart the playroom and mix up the centers, thats fine. but when they are done, they know just where everything goes.

so maybe i'm wrong. maybe i'm really not so child centered, seeing that i dont allow little jonny to creatively express himself by painting my couch, or stuff my cat in the toy oven, IDK. :confused:::

This sounds quite a bit like the way I run things.

I was going to say that I am of whatever school I need to be to best get through to each individual child. Some kids get yelled at more than others...simply because gentle reminders don't work. Some kids burst into tears when you say gently, "Hey, dcg, scoot on out of the kitchen, okay?"

Letting kids do what they want, when they want, where they want, does NOT extend to things that are dangerous, destructive, overly messy, not socially acceptable, or down-right disrespectful to themselves, others, or the environment (meaning space around them). It does not mean that there are NO LIMITS.

People take "child-centered" and "child-led" to means things that it TOTALLY doesn't mean. Just like attachment parenting doesn't necessarily mean that you are literally attached all the time, or that you don't discipline at all, or that you need to be your kid' friend, or whatever. I'm not my kid's friend, I'm her parent...but I do practice attachment parenting. She's well-behaved, knows darn well where the limits are because I'm not afraid to enforce them with an iron fist if need be, she's kind and generous and helpful...and if I parented her any differently we'd have a lot more problems because it wouldn't be what SHE needs. My next kid is bound to need different things.

[Zoe]

I would be interested to see if any childcare provider really IS new school and how on earth that would even work?!? I'm almost 30 and am definitely old school! Even with my own kids. Attitude doesn't fly here. I have no problem putting kids responsible for their actions and they know it immediately. Here we respect others, ourselves, and objects. There is no discussion!

Little Miss Muffett. I was against spanking until my daughter turned 2. It came to the point where it was the only thing that broke through to her. We don't have to do it anymore, but I believe that if your own child needs it, it isn't a bad thing.

[momatheart]

I am old school.

One thing that drives me nuts is my niece buys her son something everytime they go to Target. If your good you get candy, or a toy. If he throws a fit for a toy she buys it for him so he won't throw a fit. Let him throw his fit take him out of the store and home.
I told her you are creating a monster. Then she wonders why he acts like he does around her?

[nikia]

I am old school.

One thing that drives me nuts is my niece buys her son something everytime they go to Target. If your good you get candy, or a toy. If he throws a fit for a toy she buys it for him so he won't throw a fit. Let him throw his fit take him out of the store and home.
I told her you are creating a monster. Then she wonders why he acts like he does around her?

This drives me NUTS when I hear kids doing this in the store. My child did it once. I left my cart, picked her up and walked out of the store. Although we didnt go home because I had to shop so she stopped her fit went back in the store and behaved. I dont spank or anything like but my kids know what I say goes, there is no disrespecting mom.

[Live and Learn]

I am old school.

One thing that drives me nuts is my niece buys her son something everytime they go to Target. If your good you get candy, or a toy. If he throws a fit for a toy she buys it for him so he won't throw a fit. Let him throw his fit take him out of the store and home.
I told her you are creating a monster. Then she wonders why he acts like he does around her?

My own kids are SA but when they were lil I taught them if they asked for a toy or treat at the store they absolutely would NOT get it. PERIOD!

[cillybean83]

you should call up my 8 year old and ask him what would happen if he pitched a fit in the store.

I'm from the old school...like waaaay old back in the day when grandma would straight tear my butt up in the middle of EW James grocery shop for looking at her the wrong way LOL

my kids get spanked, the 14 month old no, he doesn't get spanked but he gets firm no's and a hand swat every now and then, it won't kill him