Tell Me if I'm Being Unreasonable

[CountryRoads]

He did good yesterday. He would try and nothing happened. He held it all day until pick up.

This morning, dcm brings him in and he peed his pants. She changes him and put underwear back on him. I would've put a pull up on. Curious as to how many accidents you allow or is reasonable until you put a pull up back on?

[Blackcat31]

He did good yesterday. He would try and nothing happened. He held it all day until pick up.

This morning, dcm brings him in and he peed his pants. She changes him and put underwear back on him. I would've put a pull up on. Curious as to how many accidents you allow or is reasonable until you put a pull up back on?

One. Why should he be allowed to pee at your house without it being contained?

ONE accident and back in Pull-ups until two full weeks dry.

[Snowmom]

One. Why should he be allowed to pee at your house without it being contained?

ONE accident and back in Pull-ups until two full weeks dry.

Agree! One.

I control the environment here. Parents DO NOT GET A SAY in my policies. Ever. The child has not demonstrated they are ready (by the lack of readiness signs), so they are not ready in this environment. I don't care what is done or shown at home. I care about here.

[CountryRoads]

One. Why should he be allowed to pee at your house without it being contained?

ONE accident and back in Pull-ups until two full weeks dry.

Agree! One.

I control the environment here. Parents DO NOT GET A SAY in my policies. Ever. The child has not demonstrated they are ready (by the lack of readiness signs), so they are not ready in this environment. I don't care what is done or shown at home. I care about here.

That's what I was thinking.

Do they not understand that it's unsanitary to have a child pee his pants in daycare? That there are other kids around? That I don't want to throw away a cot bed because a child peed in it? That it's unfair to expect me to clean up your child's pee over and over?

I think she's embarrassed because he's not trained yet and is trying to force it. I don't know if this affects anything, but she always makes threats to him. This morning it was "you're not going to get to see grandpa if you don't use the potty." I know she doesn't do anything with him at home about it. There was a 3 day weekend last week and I really hoped she would've worked with it on him if she really thinks he's ready. But instead she sent him to grandma's house. She told me that last night he went poop in the potty and she was so proud of him and she thinks he's finally getting it. But...she's been telling me for weeks that he is 100% trained at home :confused: Hence why I have a hard time believing her. I think I'm going to have to be blunt and tell her that he cannot come in underwear until he can verbally tell me he has to go here and consistently uses the potty as it's a sanitation issue.

Sorry about the rambling, but this has become a very frustrating situation.

[Blackcat31]

That's what I was thinking.

Do they not understand that it's unsanitary to have a child pee his pants in daycare? That there are other kids around? That I don't want to throw away a cot bed because a child peed in it? That it's unfair to expect me to clean up your child's pee over and over?

I think she's embarrassed because he's not trained yet and is trying to force it. I don't know if this affects anything, but she always makes threats to him. This morning it was "you're not going to get to see grandpa if you don't use the potty." I know she doesn't do anything with him at home about it. There was a 3 day weekend last week and I really hoped she would've worked with it on him if she really thinks he's ready. But instead she sent him to grandma's house. She told me that last night he went poop in the potty and she was so proud of him and she thinks he's finally getting it. But...she's been telling me for weeks that he is 100% trained at home :confused: Hence why I have a hard time believing her. I think I'm going to have to be blunt and tell her that he cannot come in underwear until he can verbally tell me he has to go here and consistently uses the potty as it's a sanitation issue.

Sorry about the rambling, but this has become a very frustrating situation.

She knows all of those things (bolded above) but they are YOUR problem not hers... kwim?

You can resort to using the $300 deposit policy if necessary. It really really really works.

It goes like this:

DCM: "He is fully trained and ready to wear underwear"

You: "Sounds good! I'll just need a $300 deposit first."

DCM: "For what?"

You: "I will use it for professional carpet cleaning if he has an accident on my carpet/furniture/rugs etc and if he is trained like you say and uses the toilet when prompted, necessary and/or reminded for two full weeks, I'll return the money."

DCM: "Well, he better stay in Pull-ups or atleast have plastic coverings over them as maybe he isn't as fully there yet."

I've never had a parent take me up on it and every parent has back peddled and agreed to have their child wear Pull ups and/or plastic coverings until I say they're free to come in underwear only. Parents start taking my lead and stop sending them in underwear without discussing it with me first.

[Alwaysgreener]

DCM came in with pull ups today for just turned 2 year old DCB. He peed 5 times at Grandma's and once at home in the potty. She wants to making into a big boy before she delivers in January. She cold turkeyed his pacifier away for his bday, he was addicted to that thing and it took him weeks of screaming to get over it.

He will be my first, they either come trained or get trained at home then leave for preschool.

Anyways, when ever a parent starts talking potty training, I pull out the potty training check list with my policy attached, someone gave me here. They normally can not mark enough boxes to say that there child is ready.

This one can't pull his pants on and off. He doesn't speak clearly enough to tell me he has to pee. So I made sure she knew that he may train faster at home then her and that's normal.

[CeriBear]

This is where we differ then
For me it’s not about me and making my life easier.
It’s about the kids and teaching them independence.
A gift that gives all through adulthood.
It’s why I prefer tie shoes and not Velcro etc..
I remind newly trained kids to use the potty but once fully trained I’m out.
It becomes their responsibility.

This^
Teaching children self- help skills is just as important as academic skills. I’d much rather have a 3.5 year old who can blow his own nose and wipe his own bottom rather than name all the dinosaurs.

[Meeko]

If a provider (or parent) is constantly having to TELL a child to go pee...they are not potty trained. You may not have accidents on the floor, but you are training the child that is the adult's responsibility to make sure a potty visit happens.

I do not consider a child potty trained until they have gone two full weeks dry and clean with NO prompting from me. Until then...pull ups.

[Unregistered]

so, it just means that your facility is not participating in kids' potty training.

[Blackcat31]

so, it just means that your facility is not participating in kids' potty training.

Why? Supporting and assisting is my role as a provider.
This happens AFTER a parent does 75% of the work.
Most parents feel it’s a provider’s responsibility.
Most parents are incorrect in that area.

[Blackcat31]

so, it just means that your facility is not participating in kids' potty training.

If you feel as a provider you want to take on the responsibility of this task that’s fine... there’s a right and wrong fit for everyone.
But those providers that don’t/won’t aren’t wrong.
I wish parents understood that.

[Snowmom]

so, it just means that your facility is not participating in kids' potty training.

By doing all the parental duties so the parent doesn't have to?
By refusing to contaminate our home and childcare environment in feces and urine?
By not supporting a parent's unreasonable demands?
By pushing a child into a milestone they are not ready for?

[Leigh]

Dear daycare providers, is it really a big deal to remind a kid to use the potty?
Any skill doesn't appear from nowhere. So, for the start, it is necessary to remind, a little later, the kid will start doing that without your reminding.

It can be a big deal when there are 11 other kids who need you and you can't be worried about catering to a parent who has a fantasy that her kid is potty trained. Potty trained kids need ZERO reminders to use the toilet. Kids who need reminders are not ready to train, IMO. I have never had a kid who was potty trained need to be told to use the toilet.

I work on potty training with kids when I feel that they are ready. When they are ready, training happens quickly. With my own child, I threw away his overnight diaper and told him that we weren't using diapers anymore and that he would be using the toilet from now on. He never had an accident and never had to be told to use the toilet after that. Most of my daycare kids trained the same way. I have a 3.5 year old boy with delays who would cry when we talked about using the potty. We worked on self help skills and dressing himself and things like that that have to be mastered before potty training. Today, I took him to the bathroom and he cried that he wanted to go home. I asked him to sit on the toilet to see if he knew how. He peed. He celebrated. He left here with dry pants all day. He used the toilet all day. I didn't remind him once.

[Lux]

After taking a "mostly" potty trained 21 month old dcb, I realized that the whole "if you have to remind they aren't really potty trained" is pretty dang true. Several pee pee accidents a week, sometimes several per day, and even poop ones occasionally! (And one poop during naptime about once per week. -But, he wears a diaper at nap so no biggie.)
He never tells me he needs to go potty. I have to remind. He has his good days about 50 percent of the time with zero accidents. But I just dont consider him potty trained. He STILL isnt at 2.5! And he still doesnt ask to go even though he is so verbal now.

With my daughter I trained her in literally one or two days - she had one accident the second day and since then - she is trained. I didn't start her until she was 34 months.

With my small daycare I really dont mind catering to parents a bit. But if I had any more kids than five....no way.
And, personally, I wouldnt have the patience for it as a parent either! Soo many accidents! I tried training my daughter around 2.5 and she had a couple accidents and just didnt get it and I was like "forget this!"
But I just had a feeling at almost 3 she was definitely ready -and she was.

[Unregistered]

if you would wait till her 48mo, she would take her diaper off by herself and get trained in one minute without your involving. Even easier to start potty training when kid is 5yo.