WWYD - Pacifier Issue

[MG&Lsmom]

Two of my own children are speech delayed and on the autism spectrum. At this age that level of speech is a major delay, at least 12m behind. I have a 2yo with more sounds and his testing comes out as 12m age range. Speaking from personal, current info here. The staring and not recognizing one's name also major red flags for me. As for the sleep, why do they think she needs more? Is she lethargic and sleepy while awake? Super cranky and tantruming? That seems like a lot of sleep for a 2yo.

I know that there has been major debate in several locations about suggesting or not suggesting delays to parents and if it's right or wrong. In this case as difficult as it will be to convince Mom there's something going on I think you need to speak with her again.

[gbcc]

As for the sleep, why do they think she needs more? Is she lethargic and sleepy while awake? Super cranky and tantruming? That seems like a lot of sleep for a 2yo.

No to all those! She is not lethargic, not cranky, no tantrums nothing . Thats why I was looking for advice. I just don't get it!

I am thinking... I love the parents to death and consider the mom a good friend, but I am starting to think it may be the parents not wanting to let go of thier baby. This is the last child as mom made sure of it . Maybe she is being cranking and having tantrums at home because they will put up with it and she gets the results she wants. I will not put up with crying for no reason unless they are tired or sick. I swear she is not tired though when she leaves. IDK:confused::confused:

[DBug]

I have kids with both of those issues: the soother WAY beyond when the dcg has already been weaned off of it, and a dcb where the parents wanted him to stick with two naps when he was clearly ready to go down to one (and keeping all the other am nappers up because he wasn't tired). Both are AMAZING families who I get along great with. But in both cases, I let the families know how I do things here, and did it. They may do things differently at home, but in all honesty, the kids are here with me more waking hours than at home -- they're going to adjust more quickly to the expectations I have for them, regardless of what's going on at home.

IMO, you should just let the parents know what will work for your setting and go ahead and follow through. I would also mention (like others have said) that dcg's sleep schedule is very different from what you're familiar with, and that another visit to the doctor might be in order.

[Unregistered]

Again unregistered....YOU CAN'T make a child speak!! And who says WE PEOPLE coddle these kids??? Not every 2 year old can speak! My son now 33 did not say a word till he was 2.5 and he did not get any teeth till he was 16 months and yes he had NO teeth, not even one!

My son is normal and has all his teeth::::. There was nothing wrong with him and he spoke we he wanted to. I would of NEVER forced him or with held things from him because he would not speak.

Some and I mean SOME children are just slower, SO WHAT?? God did not make buttons to push on each child to make them walk, talk, crawl or even a button for their teeth.

Again you hit a nerve with mw saying you would not give the child what he/she wanted unless they spoke, that is PLAIN MEAN!

If you read above, I said I was sorry, didn't mean to start anything or stir up anything. Was just expressing my opinion. Have done daycare for over 28 yrs and have seen and dealt with many issues regarding children and parents.I'm no expert by any means,just have a hard time understanding some people thinking on parenting and teaching children these days.It seems to me today that it is the daycares that are raising the children of today instead of the parents,
So again, I apolige for upsetting anyone,not what I meant to do.

[Kaddidle Care]

It seems to me today that it is the daycares that are raising the children of today instead of the parents

Now THAT was a mouthful and one that I agree with. Scary isn't it? My eyes were opened bigtime when I started working at a Daycare.

They pop them out, and hand all the responsibility over to someone else. If their child has issues, they blame it on the Daycare.

I can point out the Daycare Mom in any store on the weekends. She's the one not watching her child because she's never with her child and doesn't know how to.

Go to any family party and you'll find the parents behind the bar and the children running amuck. And when they misbehave? It's "Ugh.. Daycare!"

It's the most thankless job in the world sometimes. Not all the time but you have to really love children to do this.

[Unregistered]

Now THAT was a mouthful and one that I agree with. Scary isn't it? My eyes were opened bigtime when I started working at a Daycare.

They pop them out, and hand all the responsibility over to someone else. If their child has issues, they blame it on the Daycare.

I can point out the Daycare Mom in any store on the weekends. She's the one not watching her child because she's never with her child and doesn't know how to.

Go to any family party and you'll find the parents behind the bar and the children running amuck. And when they misbehave? It's "Ugh.. Daycare!"

It's the most thankless job in the world sometimes. Not all the time but you have to really love children to do this.

Thank you! I totally agree! It is so nice to know someone else is seeing the same things i am seeing!

[QualiTcare]

interesting - a child at 2 years of age isn't capable of doing something out of misbehavior or spite? HMM.

i think sign language is good generally speaking.

however, i agree with "unregistered" that i wouldn't start teaching a child sign language just because they didn't babble or use words especially if the child didn't seem upset/frustrated at their inability (IF that's what it is) to communicate. she never mentioned the child being frustrated at not being "able" to communicate. she may be very well capable of communicating and just isn't ready to talk - i wouldn't teach her sign language at this point to prolong that behavior.

[3kidzmama]

I am new to the forum so I hope it's ok to chime in... I am currently an early childhood special education teacher (planning to open a daycare in June). From what I've read here, I think this little girl may need to be evaluated for special needs. The staring nonverbal behavior could be autism, but it is also a sign of mental retardation in some children. It definitely wouldn't hurt to have her evaluated.
That said, I would also like to say that special educators are taught that teaching sign language to a child that is nonverbal (regardless of the reason, capability or not) will encourage the use of speech while giving that child a way to communicate. The key is to speak while signing. This will help rather than hinder.

[DCMomOf3]

I am new to the forum so I hope it's ok to chime in... I am currently an early childhood special education teacher (planning to open a daycare in June). From what I've read here, I think this little girl may need to be evaluated for special needs. The staring nonverbal behavior could be autism, but it is also a sign of mental retardation in some children. It definitely wouldn't hurt to have her evaluated.
That said, I would also like to say that special educators are taught that teaching sign language to a child that is nonverbal (regardless of the reason, capability or not) will encourage the use of speech while giving that child a way to communicate. The key is to speak while signing. This will help rather than hinder.

of course it's alright for you to chime in. It is also great to see a special ed. teacher on the forum. I really am looking forward to your posts. Not only for the insight you can give, but also because In the fall I will be going to school for Comm. Disorders (education) and hope someday to get a job in a school.

[Unregistered]

Sign language does not replace nor hinder speech development in children. It merely gives their brain another path to make sense of HOW to communicate. Some children are more visual and signs give them a tactile way of communicating WHILE they are learning HOW to speak. You can not make a child speak. You can encourage them to express their needs/wants but you cant withhold their every need until they speak to you.

As mentioned before many many conditions can prevent a child from speaking and this issue shouldnt be taken lightly. You asked earlier if it is too early for an autism/spectrum diagnosis. NO but actually getting one will depends on your area and your community resources. Do you have early intervention, birth-three intervention, IEIC anything like that? Some drs are starting to DX earlier or refer but a parent would have to bring this issue up. Talk with this parent about it. NO speech at this age is an absolute indicator (thats the actual terminology special education calls them to show HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO DEAL WITH). Mom may have some ideas about this too but don't avoid the issue just to keep the client. It wont turn out good for any of you if you dont get this kid services and they do need them.

Someone mentioned celiac. IF that is a concern you will have some difficulty getting tested for it unless you have anecdotal evidence to support your concern. The test is very expensive and many Drs. wont do it until they have supporting reasons/concerns and they have already ruled out other issues. For that reason I would talk to mom about it right away- it might be something that takes a few months to get a for sure answer on. Time a little one can't wait- especially if they are already this far behind.

And get rid of the paci- it obviously isnt helping the issue any. My rule is 18 months and no paci- leave it at the door.