Do Parents "Parent" Anymore?

[LittleExplorers]

I guess I am lucky. I have great parents who spend time with their kids. Sometimes even grandma or grandpa picks up early or spends a day with them even though I am still being paid for the day. Maybe it's their role models or the way they were raised. Once in a while a parent takes a partial day or a day for themselves, but we all need a little break here and there and they usually pickup early and or drop off late.

[Firefly]

I see this all the time. I used to think it was only my families but that seems to be the trend. I worked outside the home for about a week when my daughter was little and I couldn’t wait to pick her up from daycare. I ended up starting my own daycare so I could be home with my kids.

[LK5kids]

I was told about a mom who keeps popping out kids, she has 5 at current count. She doesn't work, sends every one of her kids to dc, state paid. People who know how to use and abuse the system, will. Oh plus she gets full medical/dental for her kids.

Something is clearly wrong with a system that allows abuse of itself.

Your state pays for welfare parents to send their kids to DC? That doesn't seem possible! I live in WI and the state did away with welfare almost 20 years ago. You have kids and need $$$ -you go to work. There is a 2 mo. Maternity leave payment of sorts but it's set up to work against the new mom.

I worked with very high risk families (mainly women) and it was a lot of hoop jumping to even get those two months. We do have health coverage for parents and kids, of course there is city and county housing that helps families but that can be difficult to get in to. And there is food share ( food stamps ) but wow day care for welfare families = crazy!

Sorry, high jacked the thread a bit!

[Ariana]

Your state pays for welfare parents to send their kids to DC? That doesn't seem possible! I live in WI and the state did away with welfare almost 20 years ago. You have kids and need $$$ -you go to work. There is a 2 mo. Maternity leave payment of sorts but it's set up to work against the new mom.

I worked with very high risk families (mainly women) and it was a lot of hoop jumping to even get those two months. We do have health coverage for parents and kids, of course there is city and county housing that helps families but that can be difficult to get in to. And there is food share ( food stamps ) but wow day care for welfare families = crazy!

Sorry, high jacked the thread a bit!

If you have, or can fake a mental illness you are golden! I don’t mean to trivialize mental illness but I personally know someone taking advantage of the system big time.

[Ariana]

I see this all the time. I used to think it was only my families but that seems to be the trend. I worked outside the home for about a week when my daughter was little and I couldn’t wait to pick her up from daycare. I ended up starting my own daycare so I could be home with my kids.

I think this is why it is hard for us to understand. Nearly all of us gave up good careers outside of the home to stay home with our kids. Going to work was unbearable. I think DCPs are a special breed of parent for sure

[Josiegirl]

Your state pays for welfare parents to send their kids to DC? That doesn't seem possible! I live in WI and the state did away with welfare almost 20 years ago. You have kids and need $$$ -you go to work. There is a 2 mo. Maternity leave payment of sorts but it's set up to work against the new mom.

I worked with very high risk families (mainly women) and it was a lot of hoop jumping to even get those two months. We do have health coverage for parents and kids, of course there is city and county housing that helps families but that can be difficult to get in to. And there is food share ( food stamps ) but wow day care for welfare families = crazy!

Sorry, high jacked the thread a bit!

I didn't think they did either but I know PT dc is 1-25 hrs., anything over 25 hrs is ft. So she probably has some loophole such as job searching? I don't know. She can use up to 25 hrs. and have it paid PT. This came from the food program sponsor so it's hearsay; I don't know the person.

[BumbleBee]

It depends. I have a few who parent, I have a few who want me to believe they parent, and I have a few who don't parent.

Jmo but I think a majority of my current parents had/have this idea of how their kids/family/life will be and when life doesn't follow their plan they either double down or hop on whatever bandwagon is going down the road at the time. They don't make small adjustments, they make big ones. Swinging from one parenting fad to the next. They are creating what they fear and many don't realize it.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Your state pays for welfare parents to send their kids to DC? That doesn't seem possible! I live in WI and the state did away with welfare almost 20 years ago. You have kids and need $$$ -you go to work. There is a 2 mo. Maternity leave payment of sorts but it's set up to work against the new mom.

I worked with very high risk families (mainly women) and it was a lot of hoop jumping to even get those two months. We do have health coverage for parents and kids, of course there is city and county housing that helps families but that can be difficult to get in to. And there is food share ( food stamps ) but wow day care for welfare families = crazy!

Sorry, high jacked the thread a bit!

I took a second job in the restaurant industry and it is crazy what people get for assistance. Mom of 3, dad lives in different state(she said he pays no support), and our state pays $900 month in housing vouchers, $1200 a month in daycare during summer, $500 a month in food stamps, all kids are on Medicaid, and during the school year, they get free breakfast/lunch, and she only pays $75 a month for before/after school care(I pay $110 for 2 kids for after school only). She also qualifies for a car repair program to get reduced rates for maintenance. Oh, and she gets almost $12000 in a tax return. She maintains the minimum hours and I imagine she makes sure to only claim the minimum when it comes to tips. There was a point where there was a promotion for her, and she flat out said it would mess with her assistance. Right now, she works about 25-28 hrs a week. In the restaurant world, that's about $600+ per week. How do I know all this? Because she told me and she is the NICEST person ever. She is a really good person, but her entire life has been on assistance, so it's not wierd or shameful(?) to her. It's just her mindset. I am born and raised in ND and I qualify for NOTHING! Not even school lunch! It costs me over $200 a month if my kids ate B, L, and snack at school! And yet she gets thousands a month and she is from Nevada! I'm not sure how she got out of reporting the baby daddy, but she said it's better this way, bc he would never pay and she would be screwed. Sorry for the vent, but this WAY more common than people think! And not to be political, but they ALL vote democratic. No joke.

[Unregistered]

I have a couple moms who I would put in this category.
One dcm complains every morning about how difficult and whiny her 21 month old is (he isn't like that for me and I don't think she believes me when I tell her.) And that she never gets a break (even though she drops him off around 7:00 and doesn't pick up until after 5:00.) There have been several days where she brings him to me even though she doesn't have to work.
Other dcm is kind of a mess. She has a 2 yo and a 15 month old. I still remember that she had President's Day off, but I was open. She was going to bring them in to have a day to herself, but decided last minute to keep them home because of the weather. The next day all I heard was her complaining about how hard her day was, that she can't handle them and that she is never doing that again. She doesn't bring them anywhere with her unless she has to. I was so shocked she said that out loud. I LOVE spending time with just me and my boys, so I will never understand why someone would rather dump them off then spend quality time with their kids. I also had to train her oldest to use a bottle (BIG mistake, I have learned so much since I first started). She would tell me that no one in her house wanted to listen to him scream, so she would give in and BF him. So, I was the one having to listen him to him scream while trying to get him to take a bottle. I also had to add a potty training policy because I knew she was going to expect me to do the majority of potty training.
Next summer, I'm thinking about taking a couple Friday's off a month to spend time with my own kids.

Same poster here.
DCM B doesn't have to work today, still dropped off her kids at normal time acting like she had to work. I knew she didn't because where she works is closed - I was wondered if she was going to say anything to me on Friday and she didn't. This morning, she told me her her teenager son has double ear infections. I said "Oh no! At least you don't have to work today!"
Totally caught her off guard. Just stared at me for a second with nothing to say.
The crazy thing is that she could have used one of her free days today. But she would rather pay me to watch her 2 kids then stay home with them. Now that she knows I know she's not working, I wonder what time she will pick them up.
I love her kids though, so I'm glad they are here. Like I said earlier, I will never understand why a parent would give up spending time with their children.

[MOM OF 4]

I was told about a mom who keeps popping out kids, she has 5 at current count. She doesn't work, sends every one of her kids to dc, state paid. People who know how to use and abuse the system, will. Oh plus she gets full medical/dental for her kids.

Something is clearly wrong with a system that allows abuse of itself.

I had dcp's like this too. I feel like they should be imputed to work if they are in the system, OR they need to do community service in order to maintain benefits. The mentality "But it's for the kids" is why the system is easy to abuse. I wouldn't be giving a DIME of child care to anyone not working or providing community service while utilizing daycare services, if I were in the position to delegate welfare out to people. I would want proof of service or proof of working before I would delegate benefits. If the parents are sending kids to others for care anyway, I would find families to adopt said children. It's pretty clear when parents don't want to deal with their own kids. Mine drive me up a wall, and sometimes, I'll send them away to friends' houses (they're teens) before I ring their little necks accidentally, of course! BUT, never in a million years would I send them to daycare every day all day when I am sitting at home

[Josiegirl]

I had dcp's like this too. I feel like they should be imputed to work if they are in the system, OR they need to do community service in order to maintain benefits. The mentality "But it's for the kids" is why the system is easy to abuse. I wouldn't be giving a DIME of child care to anyone not working or providing community service while utilizing daycare services, if I were in the position to delegate welfare out to people. I would want proof of service or proof of working before I would delegate benefits. If the parents are sending kids to others for care anyway, I would find families to adopt said children. It's pretty clear when parents don't want to deal with their own kids. Mine drive me up a wall, and sometimes, I'll send them away to friends' houses (they're teens) before I ring their little necks accidentally, of course! BUT, never in a million years would I send them to daycare every day all day when I am sitting at home

I completely agree with making people work, in some form or fashion, if they're on assistance, and qualify for childcare subsidy. Because you just know they're(or most anyways) going to use every penny of it they can.
So many people no longer have the pride that goes along with being a responsible adult, let alone responsible parent. :confused: There are many many places to volunteer their time or, as you said, do community service work. But it seems that the system abusers are the ones who cry entitlement the most.

[Sweet pea]

I have a family that has a baby, absolutely spoiled, They have booked 4 weeks off over Christmas, I asked all families to tell me if they needed days over Xmas and guess what.....they’re sending baby in all the way through. This is a new generation of working parents who have these “ trophy babies” so they can dress them up, take instagrams and then pass them off to the nearest person😢 its so sad.

[MOM OF 4]

I completely agree with making people work, in some form or fashion, if they're on assistance, and qualify for childcare subsidy. Because you just know they're(or most anyways) going to use every penny of it they can.
So many people no longer have the pride that goes along with being a responsible adult, let alone responsible parent. :confused: There are many many places to volunteer their time or, as you said, do community service work. But it seems that the system abusers are the ones who cry entitlement the most.

So, one time I got a ride from this lady when I broke down. She had children in our same school district. She was whining and complaining about having to work her 15 hours of community service per MONTH. I guess the state had imposed some sort of community service for able-bodied persons. She was most definitely able-bodied--just hates working. She did MORE WORK trying to get out of working! She was just incorrigible! I couldn't believe this woman had nerve to gripe at the very people giving her all her freebies, she didn't earn.

[Blackcat31]

So many people no longer have the pride that goes along with being a responsible adult.

This is so profoundly true.
... much to say on topic but can’t right now....
(Just snuck a quick peek at the forum so no time to type)

[Ac114]

I completely agree with making people work, in some form or fashion, if they're on assistance, and qualify for childcare subsidy. Because you just know they're(or most anyways) going to use every penny of it they can.
So many people no longer have the pride that goes along with being a responsible adult, let alone responsible parent. :confused: There are many many places to volunteer their time or, as you said, do community service work. But it seems that the system abusers are the ones who cry entitlement the most.

I believe in the state of Ohio you must work at least 20 or 25 hours to receive benefits if you are able bodied. I’m not certain but thought this was the case.