DCM Not Bringing Enough Milk, What To Do????

[Dsquared]

Hi again,

I'm looking for some more advice please My wife has a DCM who's a teacher. She drops off her 5 month old at 7 and picks him up at 4:30. She's a vegan and only wants her kid to have breast milk (that's fine). She shows up fairly frequently with not enough breast milk for her kid. My wife has told her that she is not bringing enough milk and her respoonse is "yeah, I don't seem to be able to pump enough now that I'm working." She refuses to use formula but doesn't seem to care that ker kid will be hungry and screaming for a long time without anything to eat (not to mention it's annoying for my wife to have a screaming, hungry 5 month old that she can't do anything to help so he just continues to scream).

What should she do? Suggestions welcomed! Thanks.

JD

[Danielle]

First, are you sure she's not bringing enough? I ask b/c as a LLL leader, I hear moms say their daycare provider says they don't bring enough when they really do. Generally, an ounce an hour is plenty and doesn't increase with age. The baby may just need a pacifier or something else. You also say she's 5 months. She's about old enough for solids (generally I say wait till 6 months). Maybe if the mom truly isn't bringing enough, ask about starting solids. If she's having problems pumping enough. Suggest she contact her local LLL. They will be able to help and LLL is always free.

[juliebug]

turn the kid away at the door if there is not enought milk/formula. if it is breast milk only and she is not giving you back up formula, ask for formula. if she has back of formula and come with some breast milk but the baby just won't take the formula there isn't much she can do. if she isn't making enought it may take a few days for her to get a supply.

ask her if she can try to pump more during the day or pump on weekends too, that way she can try to incress her supply but i sure if she was pumping enough she would be giving it to you.

[SilverSabre25]

Your wife needs to tell the DCM that if she isn't able to pump enough milk, she needs to find a way to bump up her supply (long evening nursing sessions, pumping after nursing in the evening/morning/weekends, taking supplements like fenugreek, eating oatmeal, etc--things called "galactalogues") so she can pump enough milk.

If she can't pump enough milk, she's going to HAVE to find a formula she's comfortable feeding him. There ought to be a vegan-friendly formula out there somewhere, but she might have to go with one of the very expensive elemental formulas to get it.

Your wife needs to give the DCM a specific amount (four 6 oz bottles or whatever is reasonable--make sure there's extra if he's extra hungry) of milk that needs brought, and a time frame to achieve this (it's not going to happen overnight--two weeks might be reasonable). If she can't do it, your wife might need to threaten termination due to not being able to properly care for the child while he's in her care.

[Pammie]

Call mom at work to have the baby picked up immediately. If mom refuses to come for the baby - start calling dad, emergency contacts, etc.

There's no excuse for a baby screaming from hunger and a provider not having anything to feed him/her. That's abuse in my opinion - both to the baby, and the provider

[Little People]

I know some other people will jump in on this with some great advice. But I would call the dcm and tell her she will have to come pick up baby when your wife has used up all the BM and baby is hungry and screaming!

I took a 6 week old baby a few weeks ago and this was a nightmare for me. DCM was BF and had 3 weeks to get baby on a bottle & formula (this is what mom wanted). Well first day baby came she would NOT take a bottle and screamed all day, she could not **** on a bottle. Dad came at 4:30 and he told me they were still BF. I was worn out from walking, rocking and listing to a precious baby scream all day.

Second day, baby came and DCM said baby was BF at 5:30am, and by 12:00 I had had enough of this poor baby screaming and not being able to take a bottle. I called dcm and told her I wanted her to come NOW and feed this baby a bottle. It took her till 1:30 to get here and she only worked 20 minutes away When she came in I had a bottle ready for her and handed her the baby and said i want you to feed her a bottle. You can sit on my couch and I need to go give some attention to my other 3 dck's. I came back in 15 minutes and guess what she was doing??? Breast Feeding. I was so upset that i knew better to say anything. I told her she needed to take her home and she did. I waited 2 hours and called her and term her.

[Danielle]

Your wife needs to tell the DCM that if she isn't able to pump enough milk, she needs to find a way to bump up her supply (long evening nursing sessions, pumping after nursing in the evening/morning/weekends, taking supplements like fenugreek, eating oatmeal, etc--things called "galactalogues") so she can pump enough milk.

If she can't pump enough milk, she's going to HAVE to find a formula she's comfortable feeding him. There ought to be a vegan-friendly formula out there somewhere, but she might have to go with one of the very expensive elemental formulas to get it.

Your wife needs to give the DCM a specific amount (four 6 oz bottles or whatever is reasonable--make sure there's extra if he's extra hungry) of milk that needs brought, and a time frame to achieve this (it's not going to happen overnight--two weeks might be reasonable). If she can't do it, your wife might need to threaten termination due to not being able to properly care for the child while he's in her care.

Four 6 oz bottles is way too much...baby is there 9 1/2 hours, 10 oz is enough.


You can also suggest to your wife to try feeding the baby only two at a time and every 2 hours. The baby may be over eating when fed a big bottle at once. Breastfed babies eat differently than formula fed babies.

[Danielle]

I know some other people will jump in on this with some great advice. But I would call the dcm and tell her she will have to come pick up baby when your wife has used up all the BM and baby is hungry and screaming!

I took a 6 week old baby a few weeks ago and this was a nightmare for me. DCM was BF and had 3 weeks to get baby on a bottle & formula (this is what mom wanted). Well first day baby came she would NOT take a bottle and screamed all day, she could not **** on a bottle. Dad came at 4:30 and he told me they were still BF. I was worn out from walking, rocking and listing to a precious baby scream all day.

Second day, baby came and DCM said baby was BF at 5:30am, and by 12:00 I had had enough of this poor baby screaming and not being able to take a bottle. I called dcm and told her I wanted her to come NOW and feed this baby a bottle. It took her till 1:30 to get here and she only worked 20 minutes away When she came in I had a bottle ready for her and handed her the baby and said i want you to feed her a bottle. You can sit on my couch and I need to go give some attention to my other 3 dck's. I came back in 15 minutes and guess what she was doing??? Breast Feeding. I was so upset that i knew better to say anything. I told her she needed to take her home and she did. I waited 2 hours and called her and term her.

It's extremely hard for a breastfeeding mother to bottle feed her baby. Baby knows mom has milk and will refuse the bottle. Many moms have to even leave the room for baby to take a bottle from anyone.

[Mrs.Ky]

I had a problem like this also, the DCB I still have now came to me at 3 months and he was a BF baby and my first in daycare he would eat 3 ounces every 2 hours and then cry for more Mom said it was enough for him even thou he was crying she put him on rice cereal at 4 months and he stopped crying after that. Ask Mom to put her on some cereal it will help and maybe even start some stage 1 baby food. I can understand Mom not wantig to do formula and dont push that on her I saw how upset my DCM would get when she thought her baby wasnt getting enough he is now a 25 pound 1 year old healthy and happy.

[Little People]

It's extremely hard for a breastfeeding mother to bottle feed her baby. Baby knows mom has milk and will refuse the bottle. Many moms have to even leave the room for baby to take a bottle from anyone.

They never even started training her to take a bottle. They just brought her to me to train her to a bottle. This mother knew she was returing to work when baby was 6 weeks old. She enrolled with me when baby was 3 weeks old. Her plan was to STOP bf and go to bottles. But it never happened. I was so upset that a mom would bring her precious baby without EVER giving her a bottle. And dads will tell more than moms::. Dad said they had tried a few times but with no luck, baby would gag and cry.

[Dsquared]

Wow, thanks for all the replies ladies! I'll try to find out more specifics about the amount of BM she's bringng with her. As far as the formula, the DCM refuses to give her child formula. That's the problem IMO, there has to be some sort of back up if she's not bringing enough BM or the child is extra hungry ect.

[SilverSabre25]

Four 6 oz bottles is way too much...baby is there 9 1/2 hours, 10 oz is enough.


You can also suggest to your wife to try feeding the baby only two at a time and every 2 hours. The baby may be over eating when fed a big bottle at once. Breastfed babies eat differently than formula fed babies.

I knew I was probably wrong. I never gave my DD a bottle; she was (and is still at age 3 ) breastfed.. I pumped for her to have milk while I was at class (attending university full-time) but never needed to be gone for a whole day. I never pay attention to how much milk is in the bottles my dcfamilies sent either 'cause it was always enough.

[countrymom]

I nursed my dd till she was 3.5 yrs old (I know she was old) nursing babies need to be fed almost every 2 hours. BM doesn't hold them like formula. It may not be alot but they get hungry faster.
give mom some options:
1. bring more milk
2. have formula as back up
3. you have the right to call her when her baby is screaming

[nannyde]

There's always going to be someone telling you that what they bring you is plenty and enough. I don't discuss breast milk amounts because the amount the parent brings is often not what the baby presents as needing.

The thing to do is to use up what she brings as the baby needs it and then right when you are done feeding the child the last amount call to have her picked up immediately. You should never have a child in your care who doesn't have any milk available. Not only should you have todays but you need a big reserve in your freezer for back up.

The Mom can either get you stocked up or she can come care for the child when you don't have milk available. Just don't wait until the baby needs it to call her. Call when you are OUT.

I don't do spoon feeding until they hit eight months. I would not offer baby food as an option to a five month old.

Don't let ANYONE fool you into thinking that if they say the WORDS it's enough then it's enough and leave you with a baby that has ALL the signs of a hungry infant. You don't have to have much experience at all to tell hunger in an infant. Just a few months of caring for babies and you will know exactly what it looks like. Don't be told what you are seeing is anything else but what you know.

[Mrs.Ky]

There's always going to be someone telling you that what they bring you is plenty and enough. I don't discuss breast milk amounts because the amount the parent brings is often not what the baby presents as needing.

The thing to do is to use up what she brings as the baby needs it and then right when you are done feeding the child the last amount call to have her picked up immediately. You should never have a child in your care who doesn't have any milk available. Not only should you have todays but you need a big reserve in your freezer for back up.

The Mom can either get you stocked up or she can come care for the child when you don't have milk available. Just don't wait until the baby needs it to call her. Call when you are OUT.

I don't do spoon feeding until they hit eight months. I would not offer baby food as an option to a five month old.

Don't let ANYONE fool you into thinking that if they say the WORDS it's enough then it's enough and leave you with a baby that has ALL the signs of a hungry infant. You don't have to have much experience at all to tell hunger in an infant. Just a few months of caring for babies and you will know exactly what it looks like. Don't be told what you are seeing is anything else but what you know.

Wow Nan you dont fed babies baby food til 8 months? That's way to long to make a baby wait doctors recommend 4 to 6 months you start feeding a baby baby food. 2 out of 3 of my own kids where eating table food at 8 months old. I cant image a baby not having jar food at 6 months they would be starving by just eating formula til 8 months old.