Pending Divorce For DCPs....Need Advice

[Max]

If she follows your withdrawal procedures, then how is your business suffering?

[MarinaVanessa]

If she follows your withdrawal procedures, then how is your business suffering?

I think at this point it's more of the point that DCM can potentially do this again in a whim in the future. Taking the effort to advertise and interview replacements also takes time, time that could be spent focusing on other aspects of our business or spending time with our families to prevent burn out.

The frustration alone from having this DCM abruptly decide to leave and expect to be able to come back and be received with open arms after not paying that time would also show she's not a stable client. DCM is looking out for her own personal benefit first and she's entitled to that. We as providers are also entitled to look out for our own financial well being.

[midaycare]

If she follows your withdrawal procedures, then how is your business suffering?

Dcg wanted to leave, not pay, then come back a few months later.

[Ariana]

That wont matter. "He left his job to save the marriage" is what a lawyer will say, "at her request". They will go by what he earns, now. SAHM's do it all the time.

You need to stop them both from telling you anything further other than about the kids. Daycare business only or things are going to get ugly at your house.

Yes! Many people *think* courts are biased against men but men are usually the ones who make the most money and men get 50/50 rights to their children if they want it and there has been no abuse etc. Many men forfeit their rights to the children. A friend of mine went through this and she had to pay alimony to her pothead ex husband and share custody.

[Max]

Dcg wanted to leave, not pay, then come back a few months later.

I know but if DCM follows withdrawal policies (gives proper notice, pays all fees on time, etc.), I don't see how any harm is being done. I mean, of course you'd want to advertise to fill her spot as soon as she gives notice (not hold it for her).

I think at this point it's more of the point that DCM can potentially do this again in a whim in the future. Taking the effort to advertise and interview replacements also takes time, time that could be spent focusing on other aspects of our business or spending time with our families to prevent burn out.

The frustration alone from having this DCM abruptly decide to leave and expect to be able to come back and be received with open arms after not paying that time would also show she's not a stable client. DCM is looking out for her own personal benefit first and she's entitled to that. We as providers are also entitled to look out for our own financial well being.

But if she's following withdrawal procedures then it's not abrupt or on a whim. It's either not an abrupt termination or OP needs to change her withdrawal notice policy so it's a timeframe she's happy with.

DCPs always ask/expect for things like this - 1 wk for a vacation, 1 month cause grandma is in town and can watch DCK, etc. - and need to be told/reminded that spots aren't held for free. I think OP planned to explain this to DCM (I believe that's what the post was asking for help with, can't view it as I type this). Depending on how DCM reacts (if she gets upset) THEN I could see not allowing back even if she follows OP's policies.

But if DCM responds politely that she understands, chooses to withdraw anyways (and follows all policies!), OP can't fill spot, and DCM wants to come back... I honestly can't see the harm. Business is business. If anything, OP doesn't have to worry about DCM Being an unstable client because she gave proper notice before and is likely to do so again.

Again this is ALL assuming DCM withdraws and gives proper notice, pays all fees, etc...

[midaycare]

I know but if DCM follows withdrawal policies (gives proper notice, pays all fees on time, etc.), I don't see how any harm is being done. I mean, of course you'd want to advertise to fill her spot as soon as she gives notice (not hold it for her).



But if she's following withdrawal procedures then it's not abrupt or on a whim. It's either not an abrupt termination or OP needs to change her withdrawal notice policy so it's a timeframe she's happy with.

DCPs always ask/expect for things like this - 1 wk for a vacation, 1 month cause grandma is in town and can watch DCK, etc. - and need to be told/reminded that spots aren't held for free. I think OP planned to explain this to DCM (I believe that's what the post was asking for help with, can't view it as I type this). Depending on how DCM reacts (if she gets upset) THEN I could see not allowing back even if she follows OP's policies.

But if DCM responds politely that she understands, chooses to withdraw anyways (and follows all policies!), OP can't fill spot, and DCM wants to come back... I honestly can't see the harm. Business is business. If anything, OP doesn't have to worry about DCM Being an unstable client because she gave proper notice before and is likely to do so again.

Again this is ALL assuming DCM withdraws and gives proper notice, pays all fees, etc...

No way would I want that hot mess back! OP can certainly do what she wants, but it sounds like dcm has a history of picking up and leaving, even for just a few days.

It's not harming her if she follows the procedures. Even if the spots are not filled after dcms hissy fit, I would not let her back because my I need consistent income.

[Unregistered]

I think at this point it's more of the point that DCM can potentially do this again in a whim in the future. Taking the effort to advertise and interview replacements also takes time, time that could be spent focusing on other aspects of our business or spending time with our families to prevent burn out.

The frustration alone from having this DCM abruptly decide to leave and expect to be able to come back and be received with open arms after not paying that time would also show she's not a stable client. DCM is looking out for her own personal benefit first and she's entitled to that. We as providers are also entitled to look out for our own financial well being.

This exactly!

I require a month notice and she hasn't given it. She told me she was planning on doing what I described above, but that was several weeks ago and she hasn't confirmed that's what's happening for sure.

I have since told her that I have someone lined up to take her 2 spots (I don't). If she leaves, the spots will be filled and when the tantrum is over and she return to town she wont have care here. I guess that takes the pressure off of me trying to find a nice way to explain to her that she's making a poor decision. Sh'e also started coming late for pick up and pulling some other stuff. I'll never understand why parents think we have to make allowances for their divorce. They need to realize that they are going to have to use a lot of their sick and vacation days to now get personal stuff done. Not show up 40 minutes late for pickup because you were at the dentist at your pickup time.

Fun times...

[Unregistered]

I forgot to specify...she wants to leave for 2 months, not pay AND doesn't want to lose her spots. I've told he that I'm going to fill the spots if she leaves and now she wants me to "work with her" on the payment amounts while she's away. BTW, nothing is changing for them financially.

[Ariana]

I forgot to specify...she wants to leave for 2 months, not pay AND doesn't want to lose her spots. I've told he that I'm going to fill the spots if she leaves and now she wants me to "work with her" on the payment amounts while she's away. BTW, nothing is changing for them financially.

Of course she does! I am beginning to understand why she is divorcing. Wants her cake and to eat it too!

Sorry mom that will not work for me. The arrangement will be full payment while away or you forfeit your spots. Let me know what you have decided.

Or

Hi dcm, it seems that we are not seeing eye to eye on this situation, and since my policies are non negotiable I have decided that effective immediately I will be terminating care for X. I wish you all the best.

[Blackcat31]

Seems like a simple issue...

Withdraw from care according to policy and that's that.

I wouldn't allow her to come back.
I wouldn't be willing to re-enroll for any reason.

I would stay out of all the other stuff....
As Max said, none of it has anything to do with your business.
If DCM chooses to leave, she leaves.

Whether or not you choose to re-enroll or not is completely up to you.
Re-enrolling for me says that I want to continue being a player in her weird game.

I feel for dad but like I said, none of any of that would be my concern.
I don't allow parents to tell me that kind of stuff. For this very reason.

[Blackcat31]

I forgot to specify...she wants to leave for 2 months, not pay AND doesn't want to lose her spots. I've told he that I'm going to fill the spots if she leaves and now she wants me to "work with her" on the payment amounts while she's away. BTW, nothing is changing for them financially.

DCM

Please submit your notice of withdrawal (WITH final payment...if you don't already have a deposit on hand). Please be advised that should you withdraw your children from care, re-enrollment will not be a option.

Sincerely

Daycare Provider

I wouldn't be willing to make payments for her time off and I wouldn't be willing to discuss the situation any farther.

I'd continue to tell her to follow your withdrawal policies if she plans on leaving. Rinse and repeat.