Really?

[mommyneedsadayoff]

What I want to know is WHY ARE WE PAYING ATTENTION TO HOW OTHER PEOPLE PAY FOR THEIR GROCERIES!?

I have never in my life noticed that someone was paying for groceries with something other than cash/credit card. Occasionally I will become annoyed with the price matchers that take 30 minutes at the register, or the guy at the self checkout who is paying with A HANDFUL OF COINS.

I guess I don't get why it's anyone's business but their own if they are on assistance.

It kind of comes with the territory because the funds for assistance come from somewhere (taxes). Kind of like if you loan a friend money and then you see what they are buying. You might not say anything, but you will judge what they buy since they borrowed money from you to get it. That is why it is best to just give the money as a gift versus a loan that you expect to be paid back. It won't necessarily stop you from making judgement, but it is better than feeding the resentment. With taxes, there is no choice but to pay them and we get very little say in how the money is used. (I guess your choice could be to stop working, but that is probably not the best thing to do:.

Our country is very divided right now. The very wealthy can afford to live well. The poor qualify for help. The shrinking middle class are the ones who are feeling the burn.

[Unregistered]

Normally I would agree that what someone does is their own business....however, the families that most of us (as providers) are venting about aren't the random people on assistance but are venting about the families we have in care that "dump" their children at daycare every day while they spend as little of their free time as possible on raising or even being "with" those children.

Like the Unregistered that tried to show a different perspective ... I try hard not to judge others but when I see certain behaviors day in and day out from families I've gotten to know pretty well over the years, it's a completely different story.

...and when one of my single moms (who pays very little towards her child care costs) complains to me that she can't afford to buy her child mittens because she is saving her "extra" money for her upcoming trip to the Caribbean, it IS my right to judge.

I can understand, but I just wanted to say I have seen both sides. From working at fast food jobs, then working in social services, then to unemployed then to working again as a supervisor then as a daycare owner. In my area if you don't work you don't qualify for the CCS program. One of the rules is you must work or attend school and the child must attend daycare everyday. The families are given a certain number of days a child can miss or they may risk losing assistance....so I guess each state has different rules for CCS services.

[Max]

...and when one of my single moms (who pays very little towards her child care costs) complains to me that she can't afford to buy her child mittens because she is saving her "extra" money for her upcoming trip to the Caribbean, it IS my right to judge.

Yep, I try super hard not to judge strangers and I try to give the benefit of the doubt to everyone... But when I know a situation/person pretty well, and a bad choice is made, I judge the crap out of it

It's all about achieving a good balance. No, we shouldn't judge too quickly. At the same time, we shouldn't be accepting of negative behaviors and choices.

[Josiegirl]

It's hard not to judge because there ARE people who abuse the system, terribly. Essentially, they're taking money from the ones who do desperately need it to get over a hard time. The system needs to be changed! The people that receive help should put something back into the system, whether it be time volunteering or something. Honest hard working underpaid families seem to have to jump through hoops for months to get any help, in their dire time of need.

[Cat Herder]

Flip side for debate: Historically the fear of public humiliation and ostracism is what kept people in line in a civilized society. Without it what motivates people to work if their needs can be met otherwise?

[Unregistered]

It's hard not to judge because there ARE people who abuse the system, terribly. Essentially, they're taking money from the ones who do desperately need it to get over a hard time. The system needs to be changed! The people that receive help should put something back into the system, whether it be time volunteering or something. Honest hard working underpaid families seem to have to jump through hoops for months to get any help, in their dire time of need.

I agree the system does need some work and then there will be those who always find a way around it. There will always be people who abuse the system. Also contrary to what people believe unemployed people are not only getting assistance. A matter of fact if you're a family of 5 making no more than 3200-3900 (can't remember exact) per month than you qualify for food stamps! People usually assume that assistance is only for the unemployed. Here is a list of some of the government assisted programs:
SNAP
TANF
Medicare
Medicaid
Financial Aid
Grants
Meals on Wheels
CACFP......these all come from taxpayers

It made me think wow...some of the wealthiest companies receive government ballouts! My daycare receives CACFP reimbursements and its a government program and it sure does helps alot😃

[Unregistered]

....My apologies I meant 2200-3000 didn't realize I typed 3200-3900!

[Miss A]

When I lost my insurance in December of 2015 due to my parents divorce, I applied for healthcare insurance through healthcare.gov, the only place i could apply through due to state rules. After inputting my information, I was automatically enrolled in Medicaid because of my income qualifications. I did not want to be on Medicaid, I felt like I was taking something away from someone else who needed it more than I did. But because I qualified for coverage through them, I was not able to enroll in another insurance program.

Then in January 2016 I found out I was pregnant. It was unplanned, and a complete shock. But, having Medicaid turned out to be a great thing! Then I got a letter from the state that because I was pregnant and on Medicaid I qualified for WIC, and was enrolled in that program. In the beginning it wasn't a huge help, and I seldom used it. But now that DS is 8 months old, it really helps with formula cost.

Both my fiance and I work 50+ hours a week, and I also have a weekend gob waiting tables. I choose to put the money that I can save using WIC into a high interest savings account and a Roth IRA. DS has one more WIC appointment and then we will be discontinuity services. The program has helped to balance the cost of feeding an infant, allowed me to save some $$$ to continue to better our life and have an emergency fund. I am thankful for this program.

[Mad_Pistachio]

I have no experience with child care assistance or food stamps, but it reminded me of something.
I came to financial office at college to confirm my citizenship (the system was acting up), and the lady at the desk casually said that another woman would come back on Monday and "reward you whatever you are eligible for." I said I wasn't eligible for anything. "Pell Grant?" - "No, I make too much." - "Did you fill out FAFSA?" - "Yes, it says I make too much." - "Where do you work?" - "I don't, my husband does." And then in a highly disappointed tone she says, "Oh, you're maaaaarried..." Yeah, it's a bummer.
When I told my husband, he asked if I'd like to get divorced. That way, as a single mother, I'd get all the financial aid I needed. And as a straight-A student, I wouldn't be threatened to lose it.
FAFSA gave me .25 cents and said, "Have fun at college."

[Unregistered]

I have no experience with child care assistance or food stamps, but it reminded me of something.
I came to financial office at college to confirm my citizenship (the system was acting up), and the lady at the desk casually said that another woman would come back on Monday and "reward you whatever you are eligible for." I said I wasn't eligible for anything. "Pell Grant?" - "No, I make too much." - "Did you fill out FAFSA?" - "Yes, it says I make too much." - "Where do you work?" - "I don't, my husband does." And then in a highly disappointed tone she says, "Oh, you're maaaaarried..." Yeah, it's a bummer.
When I told my husband, he asked if I'd like to get divorced. That way, as a single mother, I'd get all the financial aid I needed. And as a straight-A student, I wouldn't be threatened to lose it.
FAFSA gave me .25 cents and said, "Have fun at college."

I hate you had to experience that. If the lady had any knowledge of her job she would have known that it doesn't matter if a person is single or married it's based on household income. How, who & why did they hire her???? Years ago if your household made under 50,000 you would qualify for financial aid now the amount has risen to around 80,000. The maximum amount I believe one can receive per semester is around 5500, but that depends if your'e full or part-time to receive the max. So initially if a man makes 35,000 a year as an insurance agent and his wife works part-time as a bookeeper making 15,000 year, their household would qualify for financial aid because its less than the current 80K. Both have good jobs both work, but are under the income limit. ...like I mentioned before previous personal experience with assistance, previous jobs, & knowledge helps me to understand all sides.

[Unregistered]

Our system is so broken, and I can totally see why people who are in it NEVER get motivated to try for financial independence!

I'm 2012 I was a lead teacher at a center making $14/hour, married with one kid. Scraping by, hit very hard by hard times. My husband had a low paying restaurant job. My paychecks were eaten up mostly by our health insurance and my daughters daycare tuition.Dumpy apartment we paid for, thrift store clothes we paid for, old unreliable car we paid for, no frills, no eating out desperately trying to save to buy a house and get a start for our family.

My assistant teacher was making $12/hour. Single with live-in boyfriend who made a good income that She didn't report. She ate out everyday at lunch and most nights for dinner. Had a 3 bedroom section 8 house-free. Healthcare for her and her 3 kids-free. Child care for her 3 kids- free. Cash assistance each month she used on pot and cigs admittingly. Food stamps-free. She and her kids got "obama cell phones"-free. They got bikes through a gov program-free. Tickets to all sorts of events like circus-free. Comcast service- free. Her paychecks were hers to spend on whatever she wanted...

Why would she ever give that up to struggle like I was?

5 years later I am a homeowner, business owner, and enjoying financial freedom and the pride of independence. She is doing the same thing she was 5 years ago. Still addicted. Still dependent.

This is how the system keeps people crippled. It is not a helping hand... very deceptive.

[Blackcat31]

I hate you had to experience that. If the lady had any knowledge of her job she would have known that it doesn't matter if a person is single or married it's based on household income. How, who & why did they hire her???? Years ago if your household made under 50,000 you would qualify for financial aid now the amount has risen to around 80,000. The maximum amount I believe one can receive per semester is around 5500, but that depends if your'e full or part-time to receive the max. So initially if a man makes 35,000 a year as an insurance agent and his wife works part-time as a bookeeper making 15,000 year, their household would qualify for financial aid because its less than the current 80K. Both have good jobs both work, but are under the income limit. ...like I mentioned before previous personal experience with assistance, previous jobs, & knowledge helps me to understand all sides.

That is not exactly true. I have several single parents that aren't married and the only income in their household that matters is hers. They do not consider or even ask about her significant other's income.

Eligibility for some of these government assistance programs isn't simply not earning X amount of income.

There are spend downs and other financial obligations and expenses taken into consideration. The formula used to decide eligibility for my state's child care assistance program is complex and never cut and dried.

You can two separate single parents earning the same income and each with one child. Depending on each of their unique situations they may or may not qualify for assistance.

[Blackcat31]

Our system is so broken, and I can totally see why people who are in it NEVER get motivated to try for financial independence!

I'm 2012 I was a lead teacher at a center making $14/hour, married with one kid. Scraping by, hit very hard by hard times. My husband had a low paying restaurant job. My paychecks were eaten up mostly by our health insurance and my daughters daycare tuition.Dumpy apartment we paid for, thrift store clothes we paid for, old unreliable car we paid for, no frills, no eating out desperately trying to save to buy a house and get a start for our family.

My assistant teacher was making $12/hour. Single with live-in boyfriend who made a good income that She didn't report. She ate out everyday at lunch and most nights for dinner. Had a 3 bedroom section 8 house-free. Healthcare for her and her 3 kids-free. Child care for her 3 kids- free. Cash assistance each month she used on pot and cigs admittingly. Food stamps-free. She and her kids got "obama cell phones"-free. They got bikes through a gov program-free. Tickets to all sorts of events like circus-free. Comcast service- free. Her paychecks were hers to spend on whatever she wanted...

Why would she ever give that up to struggle like I was?

5 years later I am a homeowner, business owner, and enjoying financial freedom and the pride of independence. She is doing the same thing she was 5 years ago. Still addicted. Still dependent.

This is how the system keeps people crippled. It is not a helping hand... very deceptive.

In MN a live in boyfriend that is NOT the biological or adoptive father to the children does not count in the mother's income. He has NO financial obligation to financially support her or her children even if he is sleeping in her bed.

It would be no different than a single parent having a room mate that shares living expenses. The room mate has no financial obligation to anything other than their half the rent/utilities etc.... The room mates income has no bearing on the type or amount of assistance the single parent receives.

[Unregistered]

That is not exactly true. I have several single parents that aren't married and the only income in their household that matters is hers. They do not consider or even ask about her significant other's income.

Eligibility for some of these government assistance programs isn't simply not earning X amount of income.

There are spend downs and other financial obligations and expenses taken into consideration. The formula used to decide eligibility for my state's child care assistance program is complex and never cut and dried.

You can two separate single parents earning the same income and each with one child. Depending on each of their unique situations they may or may not qualify for assistance.

You must be referring to another government program. The one I'm referring to at the moment is FASFA guidelines for financial aid. Which depends on the household income. If "Jane" is married to "Joe" and Jane had 2 kids before marriage and her and Joe don't have any children together then his income wouldn't matter for certain government programs like food stamps.

[Unregistered]

Our system is so broken, and I can totally see why people who are in it NEVER get motivated to try for financial independence!

I'm 2012 I was a lead teacher at a center making $14/hour, married with one kid. Scraping by, hit very hard by hard times. My husband had a low paying restaurant job. My paychecks were eaten up mostly by our health insurance and my daughters daycare tuition.Dumpy apartment we paid for, thrift store clothes we paid for, old unreliable car we paid for, no frills, no eating out desperately trying to save to buy a house and get a start for our family.

My assistant teacher was making $12/hour. Single with live-in boyfriend who made a good income that She didn't report. She ate out everyday at lunch and most nights for dinner. Had a 3 bedroom section 8 house-free. Healthcare for her and her 3 kids-free. Child care for her 3 kids- free. Cash assistance each month she used on pot and cigs admittingly. Food stamps-free. She and her kids got "obama cell phones"-free. They got bikes through a gov program-free. Tickets to all sorts of events like circus-free. Comcast service- free. Her paychecks were hers to spend on whatever she wanted...

Why would she ever give that up to struggle like I was?

5 years later I am a homeowner, business owner, and enjoying financial freedom and the pride of independence. She is doing the same thing she was 5 years ago. Still addicted. Still dependent.

This is how the system keeps people crippled. It is not a helping hand... very deceptive.

So sad...it is and will always be people who beat the system! No matter how hard the system is tweeked. What I have experienced is for those who take advantage of the system everything seems to work for them (at least with the benefits), but they will always have the same mentality and always be further behind. Even when they think their getting ahead. Many years ago when my circumstance had changed I was humiliated because others made me feel like I was beating the system because I drove a decent, but not fancy expedition to haul all my youngins'😃....I just want others to understand that the unemployed and single are not the only ones on benefits