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Congrats on building your backbone. It feels good, doesn't it?
Congrats on building your backbone. It feels good, doesn't it?
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Yes it does!
I feel much better now! I feel like I'm on a good path to gaining the control/structure I NEED in order for me to stay sane and provide the best care possible for these other littles!
I didn't realize how much easier it would be not having DCG around either! I didn't realize (within reason) until this issue came up just how difficult DCG and DCM were really being for me and how much my program is not a fit for a sole SA, heck maybe even no SAs at all!
I have not heard anything from DCM since that night and I haven't heard anything from anyone else. I don't even think any other DCPs realize DCG is gone so that's nice I don't have to politely tip toe and explain that's shes just not here anymore without getting into any details.
Thank you again everyone for your kind words and support. It really isn't a fun situation to terminate especially when a DCP is already ticked off in general but it was reassuring to see that I wasn't crazy or overacting and that many people would of came to the same conclusion given the situation! Who knows if I hadn't sat here and asked for advice/vented a little I probably wouldn't of opened my eyes up to just how ridiculous DCM's requests were for me especially when she wasn't the best DCP and didn't respect me at all! I would of probably been going in circles feeling out of control with DCG and DCM's actions until the summer and had a not so fun few months (if I could of even made it that long!) Yikes! I think I've learned a huge lesson here... no 1 child or their income they bring in is worth the hassle of feeling the way I was feeling for those 48 hours! In the future I don't think I would second guess a situation like this again! I'd just be done and move on with the families that respect me and appreciate the care I provide
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The way I see it, no matter what kind of problem a family is causing a provider, that problem will in time affect the care of the others. As the saying goes, one bad apple can spoil the whole bunch. Get rid of the bad apple. :
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Children are little angels, even when they are little devils.
They are also our future.Comment
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Newest update.
Mom is having tons of friends post all over local garage sale sites, my business page, and reaching out to current parents saying I abandoned her daughter and changed her bus route (never did that just called the bus company and said DCG is no longer in my care and thats it. I'm not her guadian I can't reroute anything or have them drop her off anywhere) DCM clearly mad because she was still using my stop after I terminated care!!!!!
Super frustrating I don't know what to do. I texted DCM now asking politely to understand none of this is personal and I'd appreciate her acting more appropriate and not slandering me over a situation where I was told by my licensor DCG cannot be dropped off to my property if she isn't in my care! I told her I am done with the situation but I above all I appreciate her understanding and respecting that my business just isn't a fit for her needs.Comment
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I am still in shock by DCM. Sorry she is slandering you
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I thought since it had been a few days we were over it but she clearly isn't!
I am so over it I just want to be done and move on. I felt and am still feeling great about my decision to be done but I don't want to deal with this at all. And on a Sunday!
I may be thinking too much into this but DCM knows I don't work Sundays (I bartend open-close Saturdays) so it's literally my only day off and I think she waited/set out to ruin my only "me" time! Again may be thinking too much because I'm upset but I wouldn't hold it past her and can't see any other reason why she waited until today to do something.
I sent my current parents a very brief text with minimal details saying that it wasn't going to defend my business as I don't feel I need tone I did no harm/wrong but I do my best to be there for them and that I apologize for DCM reaching out to them but I'm just not the right fit for her and I did what I felt was best for myself and what my licensor said I should do in this case. I said the county is aware of the situation and understands she is attempting to make false allegations about me and my business.Comment
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I'm sorry she is being like this. I would take the high road and ignore it and not even respond. It will blow over before you know it.
If she keeps it up, I can't see any other provider wanting to deal with her.Comment
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It will blow over, give it time. She needs to have her tantrum and get on with her life. Your current dcps know you and you will come out on the better side of this. Intelligent people will ignore her and what she's trying to spread about you. Hold your head high and keep smiling.Comment
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Don't give this another thought! She will go away eventually and the people in your care will form their own conclusions. One thing I always say is that usually it is not the first time a person has shown their true colours so you are not her only "victim" trust me on that!
Let it go and move on as best you can :hug:Comment
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Thank you everyone! I am ready to move on that is forsure I don't want to fester about it. Easier said than done but I'm trying my best!
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Children are little angels, even when they are little devils.
They are also our future.Comment
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I think you are definitely over thinking this... Its not about you. It's about her.
DC parents do not like being told no and they certainly don't like being the one that gets "broken up with".
That was clear in her text reply about not wanting her DD with you/there anyways.
It's about her and wanting to be in control/in charge and have the last word. It has ZERO to do with you personally.
That is a very slippery slope and one I would advise against doing again in the future.
Your relationship (including the break up) with ex DCM has NOTHING to do with other parents and providing them with even vague information in regards to ex DCM and the situation isn't a wise thing to do IMHO. That can open up a whole 'nother can of worms.
Its a confidentiality issue and one I think makes you appear "guilty" or as if you did something wrong.
No need to defend yourself when nothing being said is true.
ALWAYS take the high road!
"What Sally says about Susie says more about Sally than it does about Susie"
If necessary, the only contact or response I would have with ex DCM is a certified letter to cease and desist ALL conversation/posting/texting about you and your business.
Let her know you will charge her with slander if she continues.
I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. Seems every provider has to have a few of these types of situations before we find our groove and are quick enough to learn how to stay one step ahead.
Remember this too shall pass...
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Thanks for the advice! It's really hard to stay cool and collected at this point and make amazing/the best decisions because I'm REALLY irritated and my friends/fam aren't much help so I really appreciate everything everyone has told me here. I tried to do what was best at the time and I am still taking it step by step and trying to cover my butt while also making sure everyone knows I have nothing to hide and am not going to back down/allow someone to treat me this way but am also not going to sit and defend my business when I've done nothing wrong.
I wasn't going to say anything to parents at all and had no intentions until she started having her friends post on my page and then her reaching out to them as well. I kept it super vague and I mean vague. Used no names, info about the scenario, etc. Just said you may be seeing and hearing some things on facebook. I'm not getting into details I feel no need to defend myself/business as I am not doing anything wrong and that the county is aware of the situation and I appreciate them all and sorry if her reaching out to them caused any inconvenience and hope they had a great Sunday.
I have never had to deal with anything like this on a personal level let alone a business level! It's nuts. Just waiting for the steam to blow over and we can all move on!
I agree my next step will be a certified letter asking to cease and desist all communication with me/my business but that's just her. She's already using her friends to do some things on her behalf which is crazy that she has put this much thought/effort into this and that her friends agree to do it!
I ultimately decided to delete the posts. I was leaving thme on there with vague responses such as "Thank you for your concern/input. I do not know you as you've never been apart of my services but if you'd like to further disuss your concerns and come see what we are all about here/see what I have to offer I'd be happy to help" I was trying to avoid more Posts I felt if I just deleted them off the bat they'd keep coming. Once they saw I acknowledged them politely and wasn't going to "feed into it" or go into the situation with them they would say some more ridiculous things like I abandoned DCM and I have no morals and I am horrible for making her pay money for a service she can't use 6-6 whenever and however she pleases (one literally posted your policies don't matter she needs to be able to have someone she can rely on no matter what she doesn't have an abudance of help as a single mom). They said I'm heartless for not allowing her to use my bus stop and that the bus company called DCM saying I said "find a place for DCG to go because she can't get dropped off here anymore" even though I just called and said she wasn't in my care and what they did after that was on the bus company. (I can't blame them for saying she can't get picked up/dropped off here anymore she doesn't live in my area of town and they can't know forsure there will be an adult there to receive her after school and thats a huge liability for them! I also can't believe she still wanted to use my stop after I terminated care!) Once her friends started putting out too much personal info, names, etc I deleted them all off and banned them from the page because I wasn't comfortable with that being on there even if I wasnt the one putting it out there.
I am going to try to see if I can change my settings to pre approved posts only to my page? I know you can do that for your personal page but I don't know about a business one.
I let my licensor know again of the situation escalating and said that I advised her to stop having her friends who were never my client post on her behalf to my stuff and that if it didn't stop I'd take legal action. I also told her that I had no intentions of feeding into it or talking to DCM again unless she's being sent/served a legal binding document from me. I also made a point to show that the posts clearly are complaining about my policies not the care I've provided to DCG. No one has said a word about me being a bad provider just that I'm not flexible enough for what they like to see even if they'd like to see some unrealistic and downright unsafe practices on my end to better fit her needs! I also made a point to say that if DCM is willing to send DCG on a bus to my corner of the street (20 ft from driveway/yard) after I terminated care she is really not understanding the safety situations she's putting DCG in. What if she is late again? What if something happens to her she gets in a car crash on the way to get her? Who's going to take care of DCG sitting at the corner of my street since she's no longer in my care? I said I am shocked that DCM would be willing to do this vs just getting her from school until she finds alternative care. I said I feel it would of lead to a slippery slope of DCG showing up at my house again and this time not only unannounced but not in my care at all!
There is no reason she needs to use my stop and I just simply called the bus company and said this is my stop and this kid is no longer in my care. Bus company said thanks for letting them know and they'd consult with her guardian to find out where she needs to be picked up/dropped off from now on.
I never thought something so small could be a big deal. I was concerned she might bad mouth me but not like this! I feel like I'm in middle school right now and I don't appreciate or enjoy it as I'm just trying to run a business and give these kiddos my all. I know there are always going to be "bad cookies" in the batch but I really wasn't expecting this to get out of hand like this! I don't know what I did to attract the crazy! I tried being polite but firm and I even tried giving her 2 weeks notice but she literally wouldn't accept it! How can you rationalize with someone like this? I can't wait to be done with it all and I laid in bed last night hoping that this is something that will just blow over once DCM has finished ripping the band aid off that I'm done and I won't tolerate/don't need people like her anywhere near me or my home on a daily basis
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