Unscheduled & Showing Up To My Home!

[Sumshine]

Then don't take anymore of her $hit. Tell her exactly what a PP said, term immediately and then mail the immediate term notice along with the dcks stuff and be done. With no more games to play with her, you'll feel 100% better.
Is all of this extra stress and disrespect worth another 2 weeks of caring for dck and chances are you may not get paid for it to boot?
You're trying to be too nice to this woman to avoid negative things being said by her about you? Trust me, she's going to be spewing them out anyways because she hasn't had her way. I'm saying this in the gentlest of ways because I can be such a people-pleaser sometimes and so afraid of letting anyone down so I kinda know....But time and time again she has shown you lack of respect for your business needs and you're putting up with it. PP is right, you deserve far better!!

I am really so afraid that her opinion of me will affect future clientele! I am not typically nice nor am I a people pleaser! Lol! But I am.so afraid of what she will say or do if I don't try to be nice! I don't want to get a bad rep!

[Mike]

I agree. Whether you term now or in 2 weeks, it won't change what she's going to say. Tell her since she didn't come in, termination is immediate. You don't deserve to put up with 2 more weeks of this. Just end it.

If you're worried about her losing her job, you could give her till Friday, but I wouldn't. She's being a jerk.

In my home reno years, I've walked out on a few jobs because no way I'd be able to handle them long enough to finish. I just walk out and move on to the next one. There are always more reno job and more parents.

[Mike]

I am really so afraid that her opinion of me will affect future clientele! I am not typically nice nor am I a people pleaser! Lol! But I am.so afraid of what she will say or do if I don't try to be nice! I don't want to get a bad rep!

Like I just posted:

Whether you term now or in 2 weeks, it won't change what she's going to say.

If you're really worried, be nice and give her till Friday, but no longer than that.

[Denali]

It's not your fault that it's being more difficult then it has to be. You are obviously a good person being you want to try, you want to give, you feel guilty that something simple has turned into something so difficult.

It's not your fault. SHE is making it difficult. It's not on you. So don't feel bad (I know harder said then done...)

I had a family that I learned this from. I've posted about them a few time on here. She thought she was my boss, made little comments, among other things like not picking up on time and what not. If I had a policy she broke it as little or as much as she felt she could get away with. Because to her my chosen profession of "daycare caregiver" was silly and a glorified babysitter. Had the attitude that her job was so much more important then mine.

We were friends. Went to her baby shower and known her for a long time. We parted ways a good while ago. When she started showing up 20-30 minutes late after closing because "she had a lot of work to do." Well she couldn't control her kid, didn't want to, wanted her 3 year old to make the right choices, and to just know what that was. She was supposed to be to work at 8, didn't show up for drop off until 10 because DCB didn't let her leave the house sooner. So she started not coming for pick up until well after my closing...

When I finally stood my ground and told her that my son (who is special needs) had doctors appointments after I close and she could no longer pick up after my closing time she told me "that (my son's name)'s doctor appointments weren't
her problem and I just had to deal with her late pick ups for the foreseeable future because her work was super important and she had to make sure it got done."

She slammed my door as she stormed out.

I was so enraged as I realized that because she couldn't let her son cry and didn't want to parent her special snowflake she was losing her time to get her work done, so instead of fixing the problem and getting her work time back in the morning she would take my time, the time I needed for my son's health.

I wrote a term letter, but she beat me to it by giving notice the next day because she found a daycare with better hours.
We parted ways. She would show up for play dates during my daycare hours and want to leave snowflake here for an hour because he missed us... because it wasn't a big deal to have an extra kid, blah blah blah. turned her away because he is not enrolled anymore. This would follow telling that we need a play date that weekend while she goes shopping - I just stopped responding and leaving things in her court. It wasn't up to her to tell me anything.

Got a call this summer from her during daycare hours. "Hey sorry to bother you, I know you're busy working (chuckle like she just made a joke) but kiddo is having a birthday party and wanted to invite you and your daughter (not inviting my son or my husband, who were invited to the last birthday party...) because she's such good friends with kiddo, kiddo likes XXX, their the cheaper toys that he likes. We miss seeing you guys so hope you can make it!"

She sent an email invite the following week. Only made out to my daughter and I, so I replied back nicely declining. She replied back with a sob story that my kids (referring to both of them now) were kiddo's only friends and she thought he deserved to have friends at his party and that we were friends and I had to go. So I finally told her why we were not going and not to contact me again. She tried to email and call me after that, but I deleted and ignored the phone calls.

It felt so so good to finally cut her out of my life. It was only a power play for her. After the party invite it hit me that people only treat you like how you let them. It's ok to go "nope"
I'm done and not feel bad.

[Sumshine]

Alright I did it!

"No need to worry about it. I am terminating care immediately. I will have the termination document and her things mailed to you tomorrow. Thank you."

Done done done! I don't have to be nice. My parents like me and the care I provide so I don't worry about them. I worry about future people but if they are going to be skeptical about me then I don't want them here anyways!

[Mike]

Alright I did it!

"No need to worry about it. I am terminating care immediately. I will have the termination document and her things mailed to you tomorrow. Thank you."

Done done done! I don't have to be nice. My parents like me and the care I provide so I don't worry about them. I worry about future people but if they are going to be skeptical about me then I don't want them here anyways!

Good for you. Stress kills and you just got rid of some of it.

[finsup]

Alright I did it!

"No need to worry about it. I am terminating care immediately. I will have the termination document and her things mailed to you tomorrow. Thank you."

Done done done! I don't have to be nice. My parents like me and the care I provide so I don't worry about them. I worry about future people but if they are going to be skeptical about me then I don't want them here anyways!

You did the right thing :hug: ....That woman....Just, smh. Good luck to kiddos next provider!

[Sumshine]

You did the right thing :hug: ....That woman....Just, smh. Good luck to kiddos next provider!

I know! I warned a provider around my corner with openings in case she calls her! Lol!

Also realllllllly awkward DCM posted on the local garage sale sites looking for care. My aunt tagged me in it trying to be nice and get me more kiddos! I had to msg her explaining the situation and ask her to untag me as I didn't want to give her a chance to bad mouth me!

I banned her from my Facebook business page just as a precaution and now I am wondering if I should block her from my personal page as well so she can't see any of my adds on the local sites and say something and/or prevent me from being tagged in any of her stuff.

[Sumshine]

She just responded to my text about immediately terminating care with

"Thats fine I don't want her there anyways thank you"

I am not responding back but I had to literally LOL I felt like I was just being talked to by a 5 year old! And oddly funny that the text before me terminating care said you wanted her here tomorrow and would be here!

[Denali]

Alright I did it!

"No need to worry about it. I am terminating care immediately. I will have the termination document and her things mailed to you tomorrow. Thank you."

Done done done! I don't have to be nice. My parents like me and the care I provide so I don't worry about them. I worry about future people but if they are going to be skeptical about me then I don't want them here anyways!

Good for you!!! 😄 It's such a lifting feeling to be done with people like that!😊

[Gemma]

She just responded to my text about immediately terminating care with

"Thats fine I don't want her there anyways thank you"

I am not responding back but I had to literally LOL I felt like I was just being talked to by a 5 year old! And oddly funny that the text before me terminating care said you wanted her here tomorrow and would be here!

yay happyface

[Mike]

"Thats fine I don't want her there anyways thank you"

I think she needs a nanny

[Sumshine]

I think she needs a nanny

I think she needs to really do the before and after school club it's the same price only they don't do meals or snacks so she'd have to pack her with something! DCG would be with peers her own age and they do lots of stuff in the summer time! They also take unschedule/last minute kiddos (for a fee of course)

I hope she finds someone who suits her needs I really do but DCG turns 8 in a few days and realistically you can tell she gets sat in front of the TV when home and I also know mom naps a lot. She has said something a few times about nap taking in the past and showed up super late one day prior to me being licensed becauae she had gotten off work early and went home for a bit and had fallen asleep. DCG likes to nap a lot too! Just not for me! We are active and I love TV and movies but in moderation! There are some days my kiddos don't see a screen at all I try to save it as a treat or a tool for me to use to get something done!

I am overall really happy about this decision now. I'm not even angry anymore. So long as she just leaves me be I'm a happy camper! This was a good lesson and now I'll know some warning signs and things to try to stop before getting out of control!

I don't know how many times I can stress things and I am very thorough with my policies and did a complete over hall of them after a month of being opened but I don't think DCPs understand we aren't just mean people with stupid rules. They are here because 9/10 times the state requires them and when they aren't required they are there to provide the best daycare environment for a provider to take care of everyone! I don't think they understand how much planning, resources, food, etc goes into my day and that consistent unscheduled chaos is not welcomed at my daycare! I get emergenvies are going to happen and no one is perfect but not only do my kiddos need it but I need stability and a good flow to my days to keep me stress free and happy!

[Josiegirl]

A 5 yo haha, stamping her foot and throwing a tantrum because she didn't get her way.
I'm so happy for you and proud of you for taking that step!! You just reclaimed your business for yourself and no longer letting her run it for you!

Don't ever let the fear of what a disgruntled dcf might say about you, cause you to hang onto them longer than needed. They'll always do what works best for them and this is your business, not theirs. Positive word about your program will spread better than a griping spoiled former dcm's word because they will come off sounding like that 5 yo voice.

[Sumshine]

A 5 yo haha, stamping her foot and throwing a tantrum because she didn't get her way.
I'm so happy for you and proud of you for taking that step!! You just reclaimed your business for yourself and no longer letting her run it for you!

Don't ever let the fear of what a disgruntled dcf might say about you, cause you to hang onto them longer than needed. They'll always do what works best for them and this is your business, not theirs. Positive word about your program will spread better than a griping spoiled former dcm's word because they will come off sounding like that 5 yo voice.

I agree! And she is somewhat friends (went to high school) with one of my newer DCPs and mom came in last night happy as ever to see her baby and dad dropped off this morning pleasant as usual so I don't think she has or will say anything to them. The other 2 sets of parents are my acquaintances we were not close prior to me doing daycare but they knew of me from my DH family/friends so I know they wouldn't think twice about anything said about me. One DCM in particular raves about how happy she is with them being here and how much better her kids are acting at home now that they are here with structured fun and learning and she made the switch from staying at home with them to working. She is happy she gets a few hours at night and her weekends with quality happy time with them vs the million hours in a week she'd get with them challnaging her at home all the time!

I emailed my licensor again last night informing her that I termed immediately because she picked up again from bus stop and wouldn't come receive her notice.
Her exact response was "How disrespectfull of her"
I told my licensor that I was no longer going to communicate with her as when I sent her the text saying that care is terminated immediately I ended our parent-provider relationship. I told her that I went to bed last night hoping that today would be a good and new day and I don't feel a need to conversate with DCM about the situation and thay I hope DCM feels the same way too so there will have to be no further updates to this crazy saga that all started with an expectation of me to be ready to care for your child on a 3 minute notice on an unscheduled day! And let's be real she gave me no opportunity but to make me care for her even when I wasn't home because she chose to let her ride the bus to my property!

Speaking of which I need to call the bus company and tell them not to stop here anymore!