Unscheduled & Showing Up To My Home!

[Unregistered]

I'm giving her until Thursday to make a decision. If she hadnt reached out to me im terminating care. It's not about refilling her spot I don't want more SA at this point. This has been too much of a headache already. It's more ore financially I can't justify cutting back right now even if DCM is a pain. My DH is laid off until spring hence me waiting it out. But it's really not all that much money and she doesn't even pay me right (in advance) because she again, threw a fit when I said I was licensed and everyone now had to pay in advance. She said she couldn't just up and change her finances like that and I had personally been letting her pay the way she had for a few months before ei got licensed. (Insert eye roll here) she pays me every 2 weeks and not in advance. Rather a pain to keep track of and bill and receipt! She also has shorted me a few times and it's awkward she doesn't "understand " that school out days are $20 in addition to her PT fee even though she receives an upcoming fee statement to reflect that. She really just pushes my limits. I added some new stuff to my policies after being opened for a month as I found things that needed to be tweaked or changed all together (I'm new I'm learning) she lost it and said I have too much paperwork and she refuses to fill it out or fill out a change in schedule form care needed for days school is out and I should just assume DCG will be here but then gers mad when I bill her for a school out day she didn't need.


Wow typing this up I think I may just terminate care with a 2 week notice. I have in my contract I can term at all will but maybe 2 weeks will be enough where she can cool her jets and leave peacefully and I can go my own way and not deal with this anymore. Too many situations she has been rude to me. Too many times she gets upset about silly stuff. Yikes I couldn't sleep last night (I know dumb) because of all of this. I think I just need to move on. No reason I should loose sleep overy 1 SA.

Reading this post you answered your own dilemma- terminate care. From my prior experience with parents that treat and act this way, and having to term them, I would term effective immediately. I was like you and tried to be nice by giving a 2 weeks notice and those two weeks were hell and uncomfortable. Lesson learned.

[Blackcat31]

Reading this post you answered your own dilemma- terminate care. From my prior experience with parents that treat and act this way, and having to term them, I would term effective immediately. I was like you and tried to be nice by giving a 2 weeks notice and those two weeks were hell and uncomfortable. Lesson learned.

DCM answered the dilemma... or rather lack of answers.

She obviously has massive communication issues.

She has showed you and is showing you now that you and your request for communication are not a priority to her.

Based on her lack of communication, I'd term.
I wouldn't even give the courtesy of a two week notice and just term and be done.

E-mail your licensor and let her know you've been attempting to communicate with this parent and she is not responding so you termed immediately so that you had no further liability and DCM has no additional opportunities to set you up.

Wow, some parents.... SMH. :confused:

[Second Home]

If it were me I would not have a special craft ready for her every Tuesday if you are not sure she is coming . She could just color for her art time . I would also have a quick / easy snack like an apple / orange for her that way if she does not show up then there is no waste and no stress on your part .

[Sumshine]

DCM answered the dilemma... or rather lack of answers.

She obviously has massive communication issues.

She has showed you and is showing you now that you and your request for communication are not a priority to her.

Based on her lack of communication, I'd term.
I wouldn't even give the courtesy of a two week notice and just term and be done.

E-mail your licensor and let her know you've been attempting to communicate with this parent and she is not responding so you termed immediately so that you had no further liability and DCM has no additional opportunities to set you up.

Wow, some parents.... SMH. :confused:

I had emailed my licensor again this morning with the update of my decision to terminate care and she replied back very nicely with a big thank you for letting her know the situation and she agrees that 3 minutes is not appropriate notice for care and that I am making the best decision by discharging care. She said that she is making a note of it to her co-workers as well so then if Mom tries to call into the county complaining they all know the previous situation and will support me on my decision to not allow such a liability.

I agree I should term immediately but the ****er in me knows she's a single mom who is always in trouble at work for being late and has been threatened to be fired many times! So sudden loss I'm Daycare means probably a sudden loss in job. I know that is not my problem but I'm going to try the two weeks and give the benefit of the doubt. My assumption is she will go straight to before and after school care next week at the school and I won't even have to finish out the two weeks

I feel MUCH better. I know my nerves will get worked up again when I give her the notice tonight but I keep affirming to myself that this is what is best for everyone and I have done everything that I can do on my end! If she questions the notice when she arrives then I am just going to Simply say that I don't feel my program is the best fit for their needs anymore and that's its not personal just a decision that I feel is best for all and leave it at that. Hopefully it won't be an issue! Fingers crossed!!!!!

[Blackcat31]

I had emailed my licensor again this morning with the update of my decision to terminate care and she replied back very nicely with a big thank you for letting her know the situation and she agrees that 3 minutes is not appropriate notice for care and that I am making the best decision by discharging care. She said that she is making a note of it to her co-workers as well so then if Mom tries to call into the county complaining they all know the previous situation and will support me on my decision to not allow such a liability.

I agree I should term immediately but the ****er in me knows she's a single mom who is always in trouble at work for being late and has been threatened to be fired many times! So sudden loss I'm Daycare means probably a sudden loss in job. I know that is not my problem but I'm going to try the two weeks and give the benefit of the doubt. My assumption is she will go straight to before and after school care next week at the school and I won't even have to finish out the two weeks

I feel MUCH better. I know my nerves will get worked up again when I give her the notice tonight but I keep affirming to myself that this is what is best for everyone and I have done everything that I can do on my end! If she questions the notice when she arrives then I am just going to Simply say that I don't feel my program is the best fit for their needs anymore and that's its not personal just a decision that I feel is best for all and leave it at that. Hopefully it won't be an issue! Fingers crossed!!!!!

happyface

Add a clause to the two weeks notice that failure to notify you of dcg's schedule will result in immediate termination. I can see it now.... DCM figures she's already half way out the door so let's send dcg there on Tuesday without telling the provider because what's she (provider) gonna do? Term me? I'm already termed....

So CYA in that aspect for sure! Also kudos to your licensor for being so supportive. That is apparently not always the case in all counties in MN so super happy to hear yours is supportive to you!

[Sumshine]

Good idea! I will go update it now! I wouldn't of even thought of that!

My licensors exact words to me were "We have your back" it is very nice!

I think she is one of the ones who genuinely understands what we do on a daily basis. She also knows that I am crazy organized based upon my home visit and by my questions so far I am doing everything I can to follow the rules and regulations and that I respect them and her being the person to have to enforce them as well!

We will see what tonight brings with the notice! I will update everyone! I'm praying for more of a calm Dr. Phil outcome not Jerry Springer

[Snowmom]

Yes 2 week notice is waiting to be given to mom in child's folder tonight at pick up. Still have no response from her about choosing what she wants to do on Tuesday. I think it's rude she's just going to ignore it and think she can keep doing what she has been doing. Nope! DCG came in today. Mom didn't even walk her to door she came in alone. DCG says she's starving (she missed breakfast cut off by 15 mins) sorry DCG here is a nutrigrain bar to tide you over we are heading downstairs to play. DCG continues to whine all morning saying she can't wait to get to school so she can eat, mom didn't hardly feed her last night, etc. Nope nope nope! All my other kiddos who are over their fevers came in today happy as can be and I am looking forward to Feb 15th so I can have that every morning and be able to take a walk at 3:20 on a Tuesday and not have to worry about my liability as a business

Geez.
Let's see how many MORE ways we can increase liability.

I really hope you terminate!

[Gemma]

Now DCM says then let's change her schedule permanently M-F and she will come pick her up on time Tuesdays if she can and if she can't then I'll be here for her. She will pay the same rate based on what my rates are like so it doesnt affect her any but it affects me!

Something here doesn't seem right

[daycarediva]

I would be done at this point. Based on the disrespect this dcm has shown you (and her dd).

If you aren't terming, I would charge her a regular rate and a LARGE drop in rate for Tuesday. (I charge $20 for after school care/day. I would charge $40 for drop in) I would buy crackers or pretzels, or something you can easily hand dcg IF she shows up.


I went through something similar with a dcg- ended up terming. They were having her dropped off on the bus at my house, Dcd was supposed to meet the bus- but if traffic was bad or he was running late, he would not be there in time. I asked NUMEROUS times for them to STOP it. Then I said if it happened ONCE more that they had a few options; change work schedules to leave early and pick her up from school and be done with daycare, pay FT rates, or pay drop in rates (even if she was only here for 5 minutes). It didn't happen for a bit.

FF to a Friday I was closed/dcg was NOT scheduled. Dcg came to MY house and was met with a locked door. Dcd/dcm were angry AT ME. Good, now you have NO care.

[Mike]

Let's just hope this ends peacefully, your next 2 weeks aren't miserable, and you get paid for that 2 weeks.

[Josiegirl]

Let's just hope this ends peacefully, your next 2 weeks aren't miserable, and you get paid for that 2 weeks.

Ditto!!
Then you can be done with this crazy and wait for the next one to come along.

From all the weird crazy stories I read here I must be the only provider on the planet who has normal(semi) nice families.

[Sumshine]

Something here doesn't seem right

It doesn't! She says she now needs me on Tuesdays but she doesn't. She has the entire day off she is just managing her time poorly and then telling her daughter to take the bus to my house on the off-chance she is late rather than holding herself accountable to pick her up at school. I tried to give her the option of getting her from schools Tuesdays unless otherwise discussed but she isn't having it. I am not going to take her on Tuesdays without a notice for poor time management. She may live her life by doing as she pleases on whatever time frame but that is not how I am I am very structured and organized and so is my program so it is clear this just isn't the right place for her! Maybe she can find a provider or somebody who is willing to jump and be available on a three minute notice but that isn't me

The way that I have my rate set up everyone just pays a weekly rate regardless of what days they need me. She has previously scheduled with me a Tuesday because she had to go to court for something and I accepted her for no extra cost because everyone just pays a weekly fee based on age so this is why it wouldn't affect her any to just try to schedule her on Tuesdays even if she doesn't need me!

Partially my problem for having my rates set up this way but I have my rates this way to prevent PT care. I came in only wanting to do full-time families and looking for solid M-F kiddos! She is my only kiddo with 2 day not scheduled. I have 2 others who do half days Mondays and Fridays so they can spend more time with dad who works overnights which is wonderful for me because it makes the days a little bit lighter. Then I have my son, a toddler, and a baby FT M-F. So I have been fortunate to find a nice handful if FT kiddos.

This mom and one other one are really the only ones who give me a hard time. The rest aren't perfect but they do generally try to respect me and they communicate with me and for that I appreciate it so much because this mom and another don't at all and it drives me nuts. Luckily with the other mom Grandma usually handles pickups and drop-offs and she previously did daycare herself so she is very diligent and respectful and I only have to deal with pain in the butt mom like once a week! This DCM I deal with 4 days a week and there always seems to be something since I've becomed licensed she doesn't care for or wants to challenge me on.

[Sumshine]

Latest update!

DCM texted me saying she is going to try to pick DCG from bus stop since she's trying to get off work early to get to sisters bday party and she decided she wants to use me on Tuesdays and to just not give her a snack on Tuesdays.

I texted back saying that if she does pick DCG up on time to please still come inside as I have a written two week notice for termination of care with an end date of 2/15/17 and that I will plan on DCG being here the next 2 Tuesdays.

She says "Sounds great (with thumbs up emoji)

I am not going to respond back but am hoping she comes inside and doesn't think it's okay to just avoid me forever and it will just go away. I will mail it tonight ad notify her of that if she doesn't come in today.

[Denali]

If she pays AFTER care is given... It's nice of you to give her the two weeks notice, but don't expect to get paid for any work you do, look at it as charity and free care because you are a very very nice person.

Basically do not bank on her paying for those last two weeks. From what you've said about her and payments and following rules in the past- she will not respect your rules now that you've given notice. In my experience, with her rude attitude with you now, those kind of people usually escalate during the two weeks To show you who's boss.

I now have a late payment fee of $25 a day, because I'm tired of parents trying to stiff me or paying whenever. No pay no stay, and $25 late payment fee per day until you pay.

Just had a single mom with a SA-DCG give notice, her payment was due Monday, she has a terrible record for communicating and paying on time (always got charged the late payment fees). Keeps trying to dictate when she'll pay me and what not. Acts all shocked every time when she gets hit with late payment fees and turned away at the door.

She gave her notice Friday (her pay day) telling me that she was trying to cut expense, that SG-DCG wouldn't be here during the two-weeks but wanted to know if she needed to bring her could she? I said yes, because she was paying for those two weeks. She said ok, I'll pay ASAP.

Didn't show Monday, didn't come and pay, sent a text at closing asking her when she was dropping off payment? She sent back that she decided she was taking the kids to Disneyland in a few weeks and couldn't pay me until maybe May 1st. It's February 😳

Sent a text back saying "Oh! Then your new total will be XXX if payment is paid May 1st. Which includes my $25 per day late payment fee and it will need to be paid in cash." Guess who showed within the hour to pay me cash?? 😂 And she only owed me $135...

The funny part was that we did this same song and dance in December when she tried to cut expenses for Christmas. Gave notice right after my vacation. Didn't come pay. Ignored my calls and texts. A week and a half later showed up playing dumb and wanting to drop off without paying, told her no, she then went with "That she needed care because her family wouldn't watch DCG!! She was going to loose her job! And she didn't have the money to pay me because DCG's dad wont help her with the kids!"

Told her the amount she owed and I told her that DH was actually on the way to the courts to file a claim against her for none payment since I haven't heard from her and her texts said "read" were proof that she knew that she owed me and started to shut the door on her and DCG. 😦
Funny how the money appeared out of her purse right then and there and begged me to call DH and not file anything against her. That was a lovely paycheck for me let me tell you! 😁

-- Ps there will be no take backs of notice this time! My licensor has been informed of all the shenanigans with her including copies of her texts saying "how awesome my care has been and she's so sad to give notice! They will miss us!". 😁

[Sumshine]

I would be done at this point. Based on the disrespect this dcm has shown you (and her dd).

If you aren't terming, I would charge her a regular rate and a LARGE drop in rate for Tuesday. (I charge $20 for after school care/day. I would charge $40 for drop in) I would buy crackers or pretzels, or something you can easily hand dcg IF she shows up.


I went through something similar with a dcg- ended up terming. They were having her dropped off on the bus at my house, Dcd was supposed to meet the bus- but if traffic was bad or he was running late, he would not be there in time. I asked NUMEROUS times for them to STOP it. Then I said if it happened ONCE more that they had a few options; change work schedules to leave early and pick her up from school and be done with daycare, pay FT rates, or pay drop in rates (even if she was only here for 5 minutes). It didn't happen for a bit.

FF to a Friday I was closed/dcg was NOT scheduled. Dcg came to MY house and was met with a locked door. Dcd/dcm were angry AT ME. Good, now you have NO care.

That does sound oddly similar !

I think DCM very well understands what she did was wrong and I think she tries to pretend like she doesn't understand things to try to push my limits. I know I am not her first licensed provider and that she had a tiff with somebody down the road from my friends house who does licensed care and that's when she came to me! I was looking to take on one kiddo while I moved and got my DC set up. It was nice because I took her a week before school started and then I had all day to get my stuff done for moving and setting up while she was in school and I was really relaxed being as though she was my only priority and only for a very short amount of time in thw day.

I should have known from the very beginning that it wouldn't work out when I became licensed. One night prior to me being licensed she texted me on a Sunday at like 10pm telling me DCG had the day off school (my son is 3 so I didn't know when school was out for misc days) the next day (Monday) and that I needed to watch her all day. I advised her that I would be unable to do that on such short notice as I had things to do during the day while she was in school. She got pretty upset about that and tried guilting me saying she doesn't have anyone else to watch her and she can't miss work etc. I gave in and rearranged my plans not realizing you give anyone an inch they take a mile! Urg!