IN A Poopie Situation, Long

[daycare]

I don't know where to start with this.

I have a dck that is wellllll a handful. FYI I am leaving out lot of information here to shorten this up.

DCP don't communicate well with one another. NOt my issue. They have 7 kids between them.

Child that attends here is 3 and in diapers.

DCD drops off last week with the child in underwear. WTH! Luckily the child is only here for our preschool program.

What my staff did not know is that I have told both parents that the child CAN NOT come in underwear and needs to be in a diaper or pull up.

About20 minutes after the child gets picked up I get a text from DCM that was very rude and said thanks to your staff, I am cleaning up poop off the ground from Target, and have a kid covered in poop.

Ok honestly when I read it I started laughing at the thought of it.

My staff tells me that they sent home the same way the child came in...IN underwear.


I am making lunch at this time so I don't respond.

After lunch i see 3 more text.

FROM DCM:
Now I have pee in my car, carseat and car carpet. I think it's only fair to ask that your company pay to have my car professionally cleaned.

So I decide to let dcm cool down before I respond and I wait until later in the day.

I decide to call DCM instead of going back and forth with the texting, I hate that.

I tell dcm that I really understand her frustration and that I was not aware that the child came in with underwear on when dad dropped off. I was at a doctors appointment.
However, my staff assumed that since the child was not wearing a diaper or pull up, that I must have allowed the child to transition into underwear. No one questioned it. I went on to tell DCM that since it was her decision to put her child back into the car after the poop incident inside target again without a pull-up or diaper on, I could not help assist her.

Not happy, the dcm says well she thinks I am not being reasonable.

So this brings us to Friday. On Friday the child spit, hit and kicked almost every child in the childcare. This is not the first time this happened. I call for an early pick up. At that time I tell dcm that it's not working out and that I feel it's in our best interest to terminate services. The child had been with us for about 1 year.

So of course now, here we are and DCP is screaming mad, again wants me to pay for her car to be cleaned and says that she wants her child to finish out the month of which she has already paid.

Our policy for terming for destructive behavior says no refund and immediate loss of services.

I can't wrap my head around this one. I want to stand my ground.

What do you all think? Should I pay for the car cleaning? I am in the wrong for saying NO, I won't pay for it? Should I refund the rest of the month that was already paid? Our policy says NO refund on this one. Only money they are entitled to is their deposit back.

I just really want to try and end this peacefully.

[racemom]

I wouldn't pay to clean the car. You didn't put him in underwear, and what happens when he is not in you care is not your issue. Also, if your handbook says immediately termination with no refund, I would tell her that and be done more. No more communication with her.

[JackandJill]

I would definitely not pay for anything related to the car.

I am torn on what to think about the refund. On principle I say follow your policies. I wouldn't refund anything that you aren't required to. But on the other hand, will refunding get her out of your hair faster?

I say go with your gut on the refund, if you don't think you want to, then don't.

[daycarediva]

Nope. Child is a mess, parents are a mess and she's blaming you.

YOU are not the cause. Ask if she would reimburse you for professional cleaning if child had an accident in your care? The answer would be no.

Please refer to your contract/handbook for policies regarding termination of services. THANKS

[laundrymom]

Hahahaha. I guess moms in deep poop.

Seriously though.
Child was dropped off and stayed dry/clean during preschool. Had an accident when they were with mom.
Twice.
And she expected you to cover cleaning bill?
As far as terming for behavior immediately I do not feel you owe her a refund.
It's a policy.
She agreed to.
It's funny how people agree to all sorts of things until it inconveniences them.
If she had an issue w the policy she should have talked to you about it prior to signing contract.

[Blackcat31]

I'd schedule a conference with BOTH parents.

Ask DCD in front of DCM why child was sent in underwear if child isn't trained AND it was against daycare policy...

Then I'd go from there.

As far as the contract and no refunds....
I have ethical issues with that practice personally so no comment there. but I do agree an agreement is an agreement if both parties agree.

[Leigh]

Hahahaha. I guess moms in deep poop.

Seriously though.
Child was dropped off and stayed dry/clean during preschool. Had an accident when they were with mom.
Twice.
And she expected you to cover cleaning bill?
As far as terming for behavior immediately I do not feel you owe her a refund.
It's a policy.
She agreed to.
It's funny how people agree to all sorts of things until it inconveniences them.
If she had an issue w the policy she should have talked to you about it prior to signing contract.

Everything she said with exclamation marks!

[daycare]

its been a really long day. I just sat down to read this.

thank you all for your feedback. I am still really feeling bad about everything, but I just can't allow for the child to continue on here with that type of behavior. The parent knew it was coming, it was one of MANY conversations that we had in the past and the parent was NOT on the same page as me.


I ended up giving full refund of deposit and 50% back of tuition that was already paid.

It did end well with me being able to refer the child to another program that I really feel that the child will do well in.

BC- curious about why you wouldn't have a zero refund as part of a policy. I always love your thinking.

[Pepperth]

The thing I can't wrap my head around is why she wants you to pay for cleaning. Not only was the accident during mom's watch, but she was Target. The perfect place for her to buy diapers for the ride home. Why is she blaming you?

[Blackcat31]

BC- curious about why you wouldn't have a zero refund as part of a policy. I always love your thinking.

If I want to end a contract, I just want a family/child gone.
So I term immediately. Any money paid for services I am choosing not to offer is refunded.

Its simply not my money.
Keeping it because I wrote the words in my contract doesn't make it right for me.

It might be make it legal when both parties agree to it but let's be honest... how many people go into an agreement thinking it'll go bad?
Generally we make agreements because we get something in exchange for something that benefits each party.

I provide services: parents pay.
I chose to cancel immediately.
I'd refund because no services are available and I personally can't rectify keeping money for something I didn't or refused to do ...(provide services as agreed upon)

If a family just terminates immediately and doesn't return they forfeit their money paid for the notice period because it was their choice to end the contract.

I don't know but that's how I see it.

[daycare]

I love that we all see things differently. You have a good heart.

I guess the way that I see it. Is as a consequence to the parent.

This parent disregard all of our request to help with their child's behavior and on some occasions laughed at some of the things the child did while in our care.

I reminded the parent that while I understand they don't have a remote control from afar to control their child while with me, it is their responsibility to help heir child be reminded of the expectations of their behavior. To also support all policies of the childcare and back all rules, or just like failure to make an ontime payment, there will be a finincial consequence.

I don't think it's fair that despite all my efforts and zero on the parents part to resolve this matter means I just have to lose all of the expected income that was already allocated for the month. Which means all the food I paid for the month, insurance, staff, curriculum, Christmas party and so on.

I guess I see it no different than the way we attach money to other things. If you as the parent do zero, you get ZERO back.

[daycare]

The thing I can't wrap my head around is why she wants you to pay for cleaning. Not only was the accident during mom's watch, but she was Target. The perfect place for her to buy diapers for the ride home. Why is she blaming you?

The only thing I could think of is that she feels it's our fault that the child should have been put back into a diaper and this would have all been avoided.

I did talk with my staff and ask them to always check in with me when anything out of he ordinary occurs. If I was home at the time, I would have had the kid back in a diaper. BUT I'm not taking fault for this.

I guess you can say, maybe karma.

[Blackcat31]

I love that we all see things differently. You have a good heart.

I guess the way that I see it. Is as a consequence to the parent.

This parent disregard all of our request to help with their child's behavior and on some occasions laughed at some of the things the child did while in our care.

I reminded the parent that while I understand they don't have a remote control from afar to control their child while with me, it is their responsibility to help heir child be reminded of the expectations of their behavior. To also support all policies of the childcare and back all rules, or just like failure to make an ontime payment, there will be a finincial consequence.

I don't think it's fair that despite all my efforts and zero on the parents part to resolve this matter means I just have to lose all of the expected income that was already allocated for the month. Which means all the food I paid for the month, insurance, staff, curriculum, Christmas party and so on.

I guess I see it no different than the way we attach money to other things. If you as the parent do zero, you get ZERO back.

You don't have to lose all the expected income for the month, you could provide services with the intention of being done when the month is up.

You chose to terminate care.

You are unwilling to provide care through the notice or paid period.... so this was not the parents choice see where I am coming from?

You said "the parent disregard all of our requests to help with their child's behavior and on some occasions laughed at some of the things the child did while in our care."

My thoughts are that I would have terminated care at that point and not gone any further but because you continued to accept the parent's actions (or lack of actions) and are now terminating care with no option to use services they already paid for, it just looks shady to me.

These are the situations that give parent's ammo to think we are money hungry.

I DO see where you are coming from but I just feel as if my conscious would rest easier if there was no money involved/kept.

As for other fees... I don't charge fees for anything that there isn't a "trade for"....Unless I am forgetting something I can't think of anything I charge a fee for in which there is nothing in return or traded off...

Again, for what it's worth.... this is just my personal opinion and how I feel about it. I think every relationship that can end on a neutral note is a good thing. I don't know all the details but my thoughts are "in general" and not really specific to this particular situation.

[Max]

Keeping it because I wrote the words in my contract doesn't make it right for me.

I agree with how you view this. Would you recommend putting something in my PHB that says as much? Along the lines of, "If I chose to terminate immediately, I'll refund for services not provided"

On the same line of thought... I wish I knew a tactful way of saying "hey I technically don't have to refund you but if your kid climbs a tree and falls and breaks an arm and you choose to leave b/c of that, I'll probably refund you in that case." Of course I'd like to think this would never happen and I wouldn't allow it but if it somehow did, I think that would be the right thing to do.

[Blackcat31]

I agree with how you view this. Would you recommend putting something in my PHB that says as much? Along the lines of, "If I chose to terminate immediately, I'll refund for services not provided"

On the same line of thought... I wish I knew a tactful way of saying "hey I technically don't have to refund you but if your kid climbs a tree and falls and breaks an arm and you choose to leave b/c of that, I'll probably refund you in that case." Of course I'd like to think this would never happen and I wouldn't allow it but if it somehow did, I think that would be the right thing to do.

My handbook/policy says: "If the provider chooses to terminate care immediately any fees paid for services not received will be refunded within 10 business days at the provider's discretion"

"If the parent chooses to terminate care without providing the required notice, no refund of any fees shall be provided"