Just Give Me the Words to Say

[daycare]

I am not understanding why you need to do anything ?

Like you said, this didn't happen on your watch.

You read it on Facebook.
I am rarely surprised anymore at what things are posted openly there...

I also don't see the connection between how you do things when you take all your daycare kids on a field trip verses how she does things as a parent. :confused:

The fact that you've been lucky enough to never have had something like this happens simply means you are more experienced than she is.

Parents only experience each age and stage of development once or one step at a time whereas providers always have access to or are experiencing all ages and stages while providing care.

I think you should just leave it alone.

It was posted on the parent's FB page and not directed to you, brought to you for advice or suggestions nor was it something the parent shared privately with you either.

There is enough drama in the world.
I wouldn't go looking for it.

this was my thought too when i read it last night, but was not too sure how to word it. What parents do with their children during their time is not OUR/MY place to say anything.

at this point you are only judging your clients parenting skills, which is not very cool if you ask me.

It does stink that the parent didn't take charge and thank goodness that the child did not get hurt. Obviously this parent put it out on facebook for a reason, which I am not sure what she was trying to achieve. I know no one wants to bring bad light to their parenting skills...

I would leave it alone. Its not your place to offer your opinion.

[Crazy8]

I would not say anything on facebook other than maybe "thank goodness you are both ok".

If it was a face to face conversation about the incident I would maybe say something to the effect that at dcg's age she really isn't always going to remember to follow the rules so it is always best to hold her hand out in public - I'd probably also throw in an "I'm sure you realize that now" comment.

[midaycare]

To me, this is important. My last daycare began transporting kids (to and from her daughter's kindergarten) and I was incredibly uncomfortable with that. I miss her so much, but my son goes to a different daycare now.

I have dcf's that list no transportation as one reason why they choose me. Now, I also live in an area that gets over 100 inches of snow each winter, and early spring and late fall had its fair share of black ice. Personally I've trashed a brand new Ford F150, narrowly missing 5 vehicles while spinning, ended up in a ditch while on black ice that I could not see. Most people around here have hit a deer - maybe 50% or higher. Deer run wild around here. So yeah...no transport for me

[Mom2Two]

I wouldn't assume too much when you first read something like that on facebook. Maybe you know more details today, but at the time, I'm guessing that you didn't really know what happened. For example, sometimes cars jump up a curb. Sometimes cars don't yield to pedestrians. Sometimes kids wiggle loose and run away. Sometimes parents let go a child's hand because their boot came off.

And sadly, there really are a lot of parents who aren't that great and their children have bad things happen to them because the parents aren't watching over their kids very well. It does seem like all you can do is sympathize with this mom.

[Josiegirl]

Did the dcm mention it to you at all?
I understand the 'butt out' mindset but to me, the most important issue in all of this is a child's safety. And while it's correct that it's 'not our problem'....I know if something were to happen and I hadn't at least said something, just a nudge in the right direction of making dcm think twice about being such a soft trusting mom of her tot, I'd beat myself up til the day I die.
This summer, 1 of my dcgs had apparently escaped from the dcps back yard and got out into the street. I never judged her parenting but we had a good discussion about how quick kids can be, helped her see different things about the situation from an outsider's view. I never thought she was a bad mom because I know things happen. Kids are quick, kids are unpredictable.
JMO

[daycare]

Did the dcm mention it to you at all?
I understand the 'butt out' mindset but to me, the most important issue in all of this is a child's safety. And while it's correct that it's 'not our problem'....I know if something were to happen and I hadn't at least said something, just a nudge in the right direction of making dcm think twice about being such a soft trusting mom of her tot, I'd beat myself up til the day I die.
This summer, 1 of my dcgs had apparently escaped from the dcps back yard and got out into the street. I never judged her parenting but we had a good discussion about how quick kids can be, helped her see different things about the situation from an outsider's view. I never thought she was a bad mom because I know things happen. Kids are quick, kids are unpredictable.
JMO

I think the difference might be is that did your daycare mom tell you about it or did you seek it out on FB?

Unless asked, I would not say anything to this dcm..

[Michelle]

I have a very close relationship with my parents
These kids are everything to me as well as their parents
We go to each others birthday party, go trick or treating together and all the parents hug each other and me
I am so sorry that I had to rant like this
I was shaking when I wrote it
about 13 years ago my best friends little boy was hit and killed by a car while walking to school
He was also a former day care kid
mom was not at all seeking attention and she was just devastated at her very stupid decision and was getting a lot of love support and prayers from all of us
I know I shouldn't have been all judgy, that is not me
I just love this girl so much
I hugged her for 5 minutes straight this morning
dad was still shaking when he dropped off
I found out a little more
there was cars swerving to avoid them and brakes screeching
feeling so blessed that they are ok
thank you for letting me vent last night

[Scribbles]

I have a very close relationship with my parents
These kids are everything to me as well as their parents
We go to each others birthday party, go trick or treating together and all the parents hug each other and me
I am so sorry that I had to rant like this
I was shaking when I wrote it
about 13 years ago my best friends little boy was hit and killed by a car while walking to school
He was also a former day care kid
mom was not at all seeking attention and she was just devastated at her very stupid decision and was getting a lot of love support and prayers from all of us
I know I shouldn't have been all judgy, that is not me
I just love this girl so much
I hugged her for 5 minutes straight this morning
dad was still shaking when he dropped off
I found out a little more
there was cars swerving to avoid them and brakes screeching
feeling so blessed that they are ok
thank you for letting me vent last night

I don't understand. :confused:

Some things aren't adding up and contradict each other.
If you are that close to your parents, why wouldn't this just be something you two would easily discussed as friends? In private. Anyone can read this post here.

I think you'd be friends on Facebook if you are close enough to go to birthday parties and hug each other as part of normal life.
I wouldn't hug someone I wasn't open to friending on Facebook.

Mom is a carefree, no discipline type of parent in first part but is now devastated, has admitted it was stupid and is getting prayers and support from everyone replying to her. Including you.
I don't know but as a parent I wouldn't post something like that on Facebook if I was so devastated and shaken up about it. I'd probably want to keep it personal and private between my family only.

Those things just stood out to me but everyone's got their own way of doing whatever it is they do.
Just one of those things I guess.

Odd situation but I'm glad everyone is okay in the end.
It's obvious you care about your daycare families and children.

[Michelle]

again, this was late at night
I was very emotional and venting because I love that baby
and I definitely have made mistakes as a parent, nothing life threatening but still big mistakes
none of us are perfect
I was just having flash backs of my friends son at CHOC and all of the hell his mom and whole family went through
thank God this baby is fine and there was no discrepancies in my posts
I hardly ever come to this forum because it seems some people want to pick you apart and make you feel bad
and I am so busy taking care of my babies
I just thought someone would understand what I was going through
everything is fine now
thanks for your understanding
:hug:

[Scribbles]

I understand what you mean. I get emotional too. :hug:
Mostly its parents I distrust. They always seem to take advantage of our caring nature
I dont post here much either. Mostly because I always find that someone else already posted the same issue I had so I just read. I read most everyday and think the posters all seem supportive and friendly. Everyone seems vary helpful.
There are a few drama type posts but mostly unredgistered posters. Not all but some.
Anyways I am glad the baby is okay and I'm sorry it made you think of your friends son.

[Michelle]

I understand what you mean. I get emotional too. :hug:
Mostly its parents I distrust. They always seem to take advantage of our caring nature
I dont post here much either. Mostly because I always find that someone else already posted the same issue I had so I just read. I read most everyday and think the posters all seem supportive and friendly. Everyone seems vary helpful.
There are a few drama type posts but mostly unredgistered posters. Not all but some.
Anyways I am glad the baby is okay and I'm sorry it made you think of your friends son.

oh sweetie, no way did you make me think of him,
this near accident did
my daughter was 3 months older than him and me and my friend had them secretly betrothed !
going to a child's funeral is something you will never get over.
I think I take on too much and worry too much
parents depend on me for more than I should do but this is my nature, taking care of people
that's why we are care providers and why we should care for each other here on this forum too

[Josiegirl]

I think the difference might be is that did your daycare mom tell you about it or did you seek it out on FB?

Unless asked, I would not say anything to this dcm..

She told me about. With 4 kids she's way too busy for FB. And I agree that a lot of FB seems to be attention seeking but I think, as OP said, this dcm was looking for emotional support, maybe a release of some kind.
Michelle, I'm glad dcg is okay and I hope it was a huge wake up call for her.

[daycarediva]

A former dcm is still on my dc facebook page because she is a drop in (out of district, kid comes here for days off sometimes).

Anyway, she has a younger child. 7 months old, on my waiting list. She posted on facebook this morning that she fed her child a whole grape at a restaurant last night, child choked. Then she tagged me in it, and said "I should have listened to you when you told me to dice them for (OLDERCHILD) all of those years. Nothing ever happened, so I thought you were just being your overly cautious self. Last night was different, and if it weren't for the quick thinking of a nurse in the restaurant, (youngerchild) might not be with us today."

She is now dicing grapes. Telling other parents to dice grapes.

[Josiegirl]

A former dcm is still on my dc facebook page because she is a drop in (out of district, kid comes here for days off sometimes).

Anyway, she has a younger child. 7 months old, on my waiting list. She posted on facebook this morning that she fed her child a whole grape at a restaurant last night, child choked. Then she tagged me in it, and said "I should have listened to you when you told me to dice them for (OLDERCHILD) all of those years. Nothing ever happened, so I thought you were just being your overly cautious self. Last night was different, and if it weren't for the quick thinking of a nurse in the restaurant, (youngerchild) might not be with us today."

She is now dicing grapes. Telling other parents to dice grapes.

7 months old?? Eating a whole grape?? OMG some things you would think are just plain common sense wouldn't you?? SMH